Just as Mina had dreamed about, Nayeon's lips felt exactly like they would be; soft bubblegum clouds, as if they were made from the heavens. Even though it was one simply kiss, no movement, only two lips pressing against each other so lightly, Mina's stomach was churning animatedly. When her feet finally reached the ground and her head was clear, Mina opened her eyes and pulled back, feeling embarrassed. Her cheeks burned a bright red, shaking her head to look anywhere but Nayeon's directions. She could feel her stare, heavily.
Nayeon fell a few inches back, her head facing away from Mina's way. As much as the kiss was originally supposed to throw her off, it didn't dawn on her how unaffected Nayeon was. Mina, on the other hand, was petrified by her actions, her mind racing at what Nayeon would say or do. She hoped it wasn't as bad as she thought, recalling that Nayeon didn't shove her off. If only she could look into her eyes and know then what she was feeling.
"N-Nayeon, I'm so sorry."
Mina's words, however, weren't partially true. In fact, she was smitten over the kiss. Knowing what it was like to have your first love's lips on yours. Mina got to experience that for the first time.
After how many long hellish minutes, thinking Nayeon wasn't going to budge, she cracked a soft smile. Pointing her gaze to the direction of Mina's voice.
"It was nice."
Although using such a redundant word with little importance because of its vagueness, to Mina, it was like her breath was blown away. That wasn't the reaction that she envisaged; there was more disgust and scorn written all over Nayeon's face from how she imagined. Nevertheless, Mina was prepared for the worst.
"Did you feel anything?"
Mina knew she had told to lie. But the reason for it was ambiguous; was it to convince Nayeon or herself?
"Well..No."
Turning her head away, shamefully. The heat in her cheeks continued to burn brightly. She squeezed her eyes shut, in discomfort, tugging on the bottom of her sweater as she whined silently to herself.
Nayeon could only smile at how easily her tone changed.
"I may be blind, Mina.." Pausing, Nayeon tried to come up with more, but nothing was coming through.
"Well, that's it. I am blind so please be honest with me."
"I'm not ly-"
Mina huffed our, scrunching her eyebrows together as the lock on her jaw tightened.
"I can hear the shakiness in your voice."
As much as Mina would want to deny her inevitable crush on Nayeon, she really couldn't. For the sole purpose of letting go, Mina had to accept that she liked Nayeon, but that they couldn't be anything more than that.
While trying to air out a response, Mina precisely handpicked every word she was about to say. Her confession to Nayeon, more like a proclamation of closure.
"I've really liked you for some time, Nayeon. Since freshmen year, to be specific. I took Tzuyu to the nurse's office because she got into another fight and we passed by the practice room and you were there singing something. I couldn't stay long because I had to take Tzuyu first but I came back after she went back to class. And ever since, I've done whatever to take small glances of you but never had the courage to talk to you until a few weeks ago before the auditions. I'm really glad that we got to be closer, Nayeon. You make me feel warm and so comfortable."
Mina was a rambling mess at that point. Immediately, her hands flew to her face, covering it as she squealed. She felt sheepish after saying it, not wanting to move from where she sat.
Hardly any seconds had passed and Nayeon was quick to absorb Mina's words, despite the bit of mumbling and whispers in between. She completely understood it all, acknowledging how Mina felt was like a stepping stone to understanding her own feelings. Lifting her head up, Nayeon gave Mina an assuring smile.
"Thank you for telling me this, Mina. I'm sorry that I can't return your feelings since I'm very unsure of my own. I'm just a mess right now and I do appreciate you being there for me. You need to find someone who not only has the same feelings as you do, but reciprocates that tenfold."
Her words even surprised Nayeon herself. It was like she had became a wise and powerful expert at love overnight. She stood up from the seesaw, approaching Mina on the other side. Opening her arms, Nayeon kneeled to give Mina a hug. Leaning into her embrace, Mina sighed heavily into Nayeon's shoulder. This is what it felt like to have no grey areas; everything was out in the open. Nayeon had yet to find her own answers. They released each other and Mina shyly looked away. Nayeon sat down on the soft, freshly trimmed grass.
"You don't hate me?"
Knowing the possibility that Nayeon would never speak to Mina after today, ate away at her. She didn't want that to happen.
Nayeon, slightly confused at such a question, leaned back with a discontented look. Seeing the change in expression so quickly on Nayeon's face made Mina's heart race, expecting the worse of responses.
"Why would I hate you for liking someone? A perfectly normal thing that humans do. That would be so unfair to you."
Once again, Mina became lost for words. Initially, that wasn't what she thought Nayeon would say. She's been anticipating every move she made; wanting to know her initial thoughts. A glum smile etched on her face as she stared at the dull ground.
"Actually, because I kissed you."
"Ah.."
Bringing her knees up to her chest, Nayeon nodded.
"I'm glad you didn't give your first kiss to some douchebag, yes?"
"I..right."
Mina would never paint Nayeon in that type light, shaking her head as she looked down at the other girl's lively and warm face. She took a few seconds to adore that wonderful face.
"Let's go." Standing up and holding out a hand for Nayeon to take.
"Take my hand, Nayeon."
Tilting her head up, Nayeon stretched her hand out in the open, hoping Mina would grab her at the very second. The other girl wrapped their hands together and hoisted Nayeon up from the grass.
"It's late. We should head back," Nayeon urged.
Mina couldn't agree more as she smiled to herself. The tempid rays of the sun stopped touching Nayeon's pale skin, giving her the idea that the sun had already set. Chilling winds started to settle around the two. Clearing the back of her pants of any remaining debris from the ground, Nayeon faced straight ahead, hand linked with Mina.
They walked out of the park, embracing each other and relishing in their company. Chatting about the most silliest things as if the heart-to-heart didn't just happen a couple of minutes ago. Their arms were locked safely, Mina securing Nayeon by her side like she was shielding her from the world in front of her. If anything, the girls were entirely mature to acknowledge that one felt strongly about the other but they did not share that same feeling. Mina would need to move past this somehow, although she was severely wounded by the rejection, she should've known this from the start. At least, she got those chamber of secrets out and became less heavy on her.
Jeongyeon sat at the back of the room, on top of the marble counter; one leg was hoisted up while the other lazily hung swayed back and forth like a loose rope. She scanned over the words she had written out of anger for the tenth time today. They didn't do much when it came to that literature class so everyone was free to do whatever they pleased.
It gave Jeongyeon time to think and space to breathe. She carried a small notebook in case she needed to vent. But ever since she met Nayeon, she's only used it for her mediocre poetry and shopping lists. In the past three weeks, Jeongyeon had written at least seven poems; five short ones and two long ones. Some of their themes ranged between anger, confusion, longing, isolation, and redemption.
"I will never be
The first
Of so many things
For you. I came too late,
After love and life
Were woven into the
Tapestry.
Of your existence. I care not
About lost firsts,
But I will fight, knuckles
Bloody and teeth sharpened,
For your lasts.
Take the old firsts
And put them to rest,
Silent below the dirt
And ash of all the new ones
We will burn through.
Take them, but
Give me the
Lasts."
With a heavy sigh, Jeongyeon collapsed into the wall. Staring up at the ceiling, she noticed the small cracks in the ceiling. Those patterns reminded her of the doodles she made on Nayeon's nightstand when they were younger. Glancing ahead to check the time on the large digital clock above the whiteboard, Jeongyeon saw that they had a few more minutes left until the class was over. Her head fell back, shutting her eyes as she tried to catch a small nap for the remaining of the period. She figured no on would dare to bother her at the back of the class.
A knock came on the door. The teacher stopped what he was doing, peering over to make sure he heard the knock and it wasn't someone playing a trick. Getting up from his seat, he went over to open the door. Some teens in the class paused their conversations to see who walked in. A hurricane of loud whispers, people trying to whisper over the other other, encircled the whole room. Jeongyeon only dozed off for ten minutes when she was alerted by the buzz. She opened her eyes to hear the teacher speaking to the person. Her back was facing Jeongyeon and somewhat blurry from her sleepy eyes.
"Sure thing, Ms. Chou. Just don't disturb the rest of the class."
"Thanks, sir."
When the drowsiness finally left Jeongyeon's system, she was widely awake to see Tzuyu walking towards her with a grim stare. Jeongyeon didn't think much of it since that seemed to be her signature look when greeting people. She put her other leg down, still on the counter. Tzuyu abruptly stopped right in front of her and huffed.
"Ms. Yoo, you are dismissed early as significantly requested by Ms. Chou."
Jeongyeon was about to protest, giving the teacher an intense stare of unbelievabilty, tilting her head drastically.
"What? Why?"
"Don't question it. Let's go."
Tzuyu blocked Jeongyeon's view of the teacher, her giant figure showering Jeongyeon with her shadow. Narrowing her eyes with the same aloof curves in her face, Tzuyu shook her head lightly, hinting a bit of unwanted foretoken. Not only was Jeongyeon confused as to why Tzuyu was being uptight, she didn't know the reason of it.
The taller girl swiftly went for Jeongyeon's hand to pull her out of the class, latching on like a jumping tick. Startled, Jeongyeon yanked her hand away harshly. Tzuyu was not about to have this unmovable behavior from her.
"Are you serious right now?"
"Class is going to be over in like fifteen minutes. You're being a brat for nothing. I have to talk to you about something."
"So can't it wait?"
Heaving out another aggravated sigh, Tzuyu lowered her head at Jeongyeon. She clenched her jaw as tightly as she could before releasing all the muscles in her mouth.
"No."
Jeongyeon was about to argue, having an intense glare-off with the taller one. She wasn't about to soar with Tzuyu in the middle of class. Another felon would be added on to her school record. More scolding would come from Momo afterwards.
"This better be good."
Not one bit was Tzuyu scared of her hollow threat. The taller girl rolled her eyes, leading Jeongyeon out of the classroom without instructions. As soon as they were both out, Tzuyu shut the door behind her, leaning against the side of the lockers.
"What is this abou—"
"Mina told me she kissed Nayeon."
"She what?!"
"You heard me, mushroom head."
Jeongyeon rammed Tzuyu back into the lockers, the loud sound clapping back through the hallway. Shutting her eyes from the impact, Tzuyu groaned lowly, opening up her eyes back again look down at Jeongyeon, feeling impartial. A metal rod was digging its way into Tzuyu's back, the pressure increasing as Jeongyeon pushed all her might.
She grabbed the taller girl's caller, forcing her to look her straight in the eye.
"Don't be fucking with me right now, Yoda."
"Do I look like the type of person who would fuck with the likes of you?"
Tzuyu's retort only fueled Jeongyeon up, biting her lip as she slammed the taller one harder into the lockers. Tzuyu had her reasons for not fighting back, knowing that she could take down Jeongyeon without breaking a nail.
"Hell yeah you fucking do!"
Tzuyu's groans grew longer as the shooting pain in her back intensified.
"But you and I both know that Nayeon shouldn't be with Mina. As much as I love Mina, I don't want Nayeon for her."
The grip Jeongyeon had on Tzuyu's collar weighted, pulling the taller girl down with a snappy jerk. Manifesting the anger she had, Jeongyeon raised her fisted hands higher, centering then on Tzuyu's neck. Pressure began to build from her chest up. Tzuyu's pale skin tinting into a lavender pigment. She hardly struggled against it but Jeongyeon added more weight into her hands. She was blinded by her own rage that the time when she snapped out of it was the bell ringing for break. Tzuyu shoved away from the lockers, a few feet from Jeongyeon, coughing violently as she held her throat.
"It must be so great to have a friend like you," Jeongyeon spat, glaring at the taller girl from head to toe.
Tzuyu, however, took no offense to this and just lightly smirked, not saying anything back. The bell rang shortly after and Jeongyeon spun around, grabbing her phone. Seconds later, teens started to pile into the hall from every corner. It happened so fast that Tzuyu couldn't see Jeongyeon anymore after she took only five steps away.
Jeongyeon harshly pressed on iMessage, clicking on the only important name on her list. She punched in letters quickly, sending the message in a matter of seconds.
To: Nabongs 🐰🌚
Meet me at meet me at our usual spot. It's not the bleachers
Stuffing her phone back into her pocket, Jeongyeon pushed open the doors, exiting the building to head over to the spot that wasn't the bleachers. Nayeon would know where she's talking about.
Tzuyu shook her head, still smirking.
"What a cute couple."
She fetched her phone, opening the camera app to check herself. Nodding to herself in approval, she left out a tiny 'yes' and received a few curious glances before they looked away.
"At least she didn't hit the face."
Nayeon received a text while she was heading to the library. She planned to spend the rest of her 30-minute break there to finish up some class work she didn't complete so she wouldn't have to take it home. She stopped beside a couple of lockers and took out her phone.
"Siri, read it out to me."
"New message from Jeong 😎: Meet me at meet me at our usual spot. It's not the bleachers. Sent 3 minutes ago."
"What the heck is texting me so out of the blue?"
As Nayeon was asking herself this, her feet involuntarily moved in the direction of the nearest exit. She whacked along her way, tapping on the cold pavement until she knew she had reached the back exit.
It took only a few minutes to get there but Nayeon eventually found the school's pool. She held on to the opening of the gate. The wind helped her as it assertively blew around her. A brash scent of perfume cane into her surroundings and that's when she knew. She pushed herself away from the gate, walking further in, slowly tapping her way around the pool to reach the bleachers. Nayeon was only a few taps away from them when Jeongyeon spoke up.
Although seeing Nayeon again after a while brought Jeongyeon great joy, it also brought her extreme downheartedness. She was torn between wanting to pull Nayeon into the tightest embrace or yell at her from the bottom of her diaphragm. Jeongyeon painfully looked away, watching the glare of the moving water to distract her.
"So...you kissed Mina?"
The question made Nayeon stopped walking. She understood why Jeongyeon wanted her to be here. Her mouth fell slightly open before she closed it, her lips forming a thin line.
"She kissed me."
"And you let her?"
Jeongyeon slapped her knees, erupting from her seat. She approached Nayeon with clench teeth, moving so close to her that they were a breath apart. Nayeon suddenly became afraid of her best friend. That didn't stop her from screaming back.
"You have no right to get mad at me, Jeongyeon! Mina had feelings for me."
"And I don't?!"
Jeongyeon roughly smacked her chest with a closed fist, glaring down at Nayeon. She could sense the stare of death Jeongyeon was trying to kindle on her. Nayeon didn't budge or looked anywhere but ahead.
"That doesn't mean I have feelings for her to. I kindly let her down. Okay?!"
"Oh, well in that case, I kissed Jihyo too."
It was like Jeongyeon shoved the words down Nayeon's throat. Her tone wasn't too friendly either, rather dripping acidly in the intentions to burn Nayeon with it. And the method work.
Nayeon's entire body stiffened. Her heart clambered against her chest. She lost feeling in her fingers, hardly clenching them.
"You...you did?"
"Yesterday. But she actually kissed me."
Nayeon didn't say anything.
"I was mad, alright? So frustrated with our situation. And she was there to comfort me and all of a sudden, she leaned in and kissed me."
Nothing.
Jeongyeon's anger washed away when she realized Nayeon didn't respond yet. She watched her just stand there, frozen in a state of apathy.
"Nabon—"
"You're such a hypocrite, Yoo Jeongyeon."
Using all the strength her slim arms held, Nayeon sent Jeongyeon propelling into the pool. Being the sneaky one, Jeongyeon grabbed Nayeon's arm and brought her down. They wounded up falling together with a loud splash.
Nayeon clung for air the second they dropped into the water. The pool wasn't that deep. But considering Nayeon couldn't exactly sleep, she was harshly splashing around. Jeongyeon saw the panicky Nayeon and reached out for her.
"Jeongyeon!"
"It's okay. I got you. Just remember what I taught you before alright."
Nayeon instantly calmed down at the sound of Jeongyeon's voice. She stopped wailing when she felt a pair of hands grab her arm, pulling her closer. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms behind Jeongyeon's neck to keep herself upright. She swished her legs back and forth to stay afloat. Jeongyeon softly pressed their foreheads together.
"You can be an idiot sometimes, Nabongs."
"What? I am n—mmph"
Jeongyeon knee Nayeon was going to argue with her so she shut her up with a kiss. For both of them, it was completely different. This kiss was it for them. They ignored the chilling waters, strongly feeling shivers run up and down their spines as the kiss grew stronger. Jeongyeon squeezed Nayeon's sides and it awoken her from the abysmal trance she was put on. She gradually moved her head away, arms still circled around Jeongyeon's neck. It was taking awhile for her stomach to stop doing backflips.
Jeongyeon couldn't help it but grin to herself when she saw Nayeon forcibly trying to hide her smile. The noticeable pink shade powdered her cheeks along with water drops.
"You're shivering. Let's go dry up."
"Okay," Nayeon said softly, nodding her head a bit.
Jeongyeon used one arm to paddle them to the edge of the pool, tightly hooting Nayeon up with the other. She strongly embraced her to make sure she didn't slip from her grasp but Nayeon only blushed harder at the close contact.
God, Nayeon, you're such a mess right now.
She shook her head, mentally slapping both her cheeks to wake herself up.
They both got out of the pool. Jeongyeon checked Nayeon to see if she was stable. She placed both her hands on her shoulders. Nayeon tilted her head up a bit.
"We're skipping school to dry up."
For once, Jeongyeon thought that she should be less assertive and take in what Nayeon had to say. She bit her tongue, slightly hesitating.
"Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah. Sure."
Nayeon wasn't about to protest. She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. She managed to get a couple of minutes to nap but it wasn't adequate to the sleepless nights she's had. As long as the result was getting dried and sleeping, Nayeon was all for it.
Jeongyeon grabbed Nayeon's wrist, pulling her along. They got into Jeongyeon's car, still soaking wet. The water seeped right through the seats. She had given Nayeon her jacket for a substitute towel.
The ride to Jeongyeon's place was quiet. They were both too deep in thought to say anything to each other. It helped give them both time to process things.
Nayeon needed to pull herself away from thinking about it. For some reason, she chose to distract herself by scrolling through her phone and text Momo. Before doing anything else, she reached for her earphones and put them on so Jeongyeon wouldn't hear Siri call out each action Nayeon did. Glancing from the corner of her eye, since she had to concentrate on the road, Jeongyeon was the movement and assumed Nayeon wanted to listen to music for a bit. She double-tapped on iMessage and tapped again on the contact name.
To: Momo bebs 🤪🍑
Momo, jeong kissed me...
After hitting send and putting her phone face down on her lap, Nayeon got a quick message back.
From: Momo bebs 🤪🍑
It's about time one of you made the first move
Hearing the message, Nayeon abruptly slammed her phone down, disquieting Jeongyeon's main focus on the road. She fully turned her head to Nayeon, catching glances at the road to make sure she wasn't going off course.
"Something wrong?"
"Oh. Nothing just a stupid meme."
Nayeon tried to cover her blush with a infuriated expression. She narrowed her eyes, scrunching her brows to look angry. Jeongyeon partially believed her, looking back at the road and chuckling softly.
The two finally arrived at Jeongyeon's place. She looked down at her watch and saw that it was only around two in the afternoon, so they would've had an hour of classes left before they decided to ditch again. Nayeon could care less about her attendance now. She hasn't focused on a lot of things in awhile. Not that her marks were going down, she just didn't put much consciousness into them. She sought more things in her personal life to be more important like the situation with Jeongyeon that she couldn't quite figure out yet.
"Make yourself comfortable," Jeongyeon said over her shoulder as she walked over to her closet to fix Nayeon some hospitable clothes to wear.
Nayeon leaned forward, looking for the bed and slapped a piece of cloth. She assumed it was the bed after giving it a few good pats before sitting down. Jeongyeon came back with a yellow shirt and grey sweatpants.
"I'll just go outside while you change."
"No!"
Nayeon yelled out, rather loudly, sounding unnecessarily aggressive. She pulled her hand away, biting her lip as she went back to staring at the ground.
"I mean.." Nayeon said in a softer tone.
"You can just turn around."
It was a dangerous idea for both of them but Jeongyeon huffed in defeat.
"Okay. I'm turning around now."
Not once did Jeongyeon take a peak, ignoring all the whispers that were tempting her to. She didn't want to do that behind Nayeon's back. When Nayeon finished changing, it was Jeongyeon's turn.
"We need to talk about us and that kiss."
Jeongyeon had just put her t shirt over her head when Nayeon spoke up. Her head was still glued to the ground, playing with her fingers to ease herself from the fainthearted demand she just made. Lifting a humored eyebrow, Jeongyeon stared at Nayeon who was still fidgeting at the edge of her bed.
"So what?"
Nayeon's chest raised as she drew in a deep breath and exhaled out, already drained. She quit fiddling with her fingers and clasped them together, thinking it would keep her grounded.
"So...everything."