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Kim’s PoV
I found myself still staring at Pie’s letter for hours. My tears keep on falling and I couldn’t stop it. What have I done wrong for Pie to just leave me here, alone?
I tried to think logically as possible as I could even if the pain in my heart is killing me. Then I remembered, Pie actually broke up with me a year ago and I just accepted it. I also remembered her saying, she was hurt that time and she didn’t mean it and that I shouldn’t have believed her. Maybe, if I try hard to explain to her what really happened, she’ll understand. Aside from the fact that I didn’t tell her about Aya and Yam being with me in the conference, I believe I didn’t do anything wrong.
I knew that I can only be hopeful to get Pie back. That is the only thing that kept me from not giving me up. Hope, the only thing I am holding on too.
I walked back to our bed and lie down. Of course, it was difficult to fall asleep but I need to get some rest first. And yes, I am definitely going to see her tomorrow and try to reason with her…
Pie’s PoV
Just like the old times, whenever Kim and I fight, I always end up back in my mom’s home. My mom was so surprised to see me crying as she opens the door.
My mom changed a lot. Before, if she sees me crying she’ll continuously ask me questions about what happened or what made me cry but today, she didn’t say a word and just hugged me tight. Although, with the numerous bags I am carrying right now, it pretty much tells the story of my tears.
She pulled away from me and said, “Have you eaten? Come in.”
“I’m not hungry, mom.” I answered back.
My mom just nodded, “Okay.” And I walked upstairs and to my room. I plopped down to my bed and buried my head to a pillow as I sob.
I know that letting her go was the decision I made but it’s not that easy leaving the love of your life behind, right?
For some reason, I didn’t notice that I had fallen asleep. That’s definitely a first.
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I was taken away from my slumber when I heard a familiar voice shouting outside of our house…
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“Pie, please talk to me!! I beg you!!” Kim was shouting outside our house over and over again. “I know that you hate me right now for not telling you about Aya and Yam but I have a reason for it and I swear I didn’t do anything that you wouldn’t like, if you would just listen to me, please.” Kim said again, her voice cracking and I know she’s almost in tears.
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My door suddenly opened and I saw my mom’s head pop out to it, “Pie, Kim’s outside. Do you want me to let her in or do you want me to ask her to just leave?”
As always, hearing Kim’s voice and pain evident on it made makes me weak. “Just… Just… Ask her to leave.” I answered my mom almost giving up to Kim’s request.
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My mom closed my door again but I quickly ran downstairs and stayed behind our slightly opened front door. I heard my mom spoke to Kim. “Kim, please refrain yourself from shouting and causing a scene here. My daughter doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Please… I beg you Aunt Miria. Please let me in. I just… I just have some things to tell Pie. I don’t want to lose her. PLEASE…” I heard Kim said as she cries.
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For the first time, my mom was considerate to Kim. “Not now Kim. My daughter is in so much pain that she isn’t ready to talk to you. I don’t know what happened but for my daughter to be back here with all her things, I’m guessing there is a big reason. I am asking you to leave right now and give my daughter some time alone to think. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready for sure.”
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“Okay. I will leave for now but I won’t give up and I will try to talk to her every day. Thanks, Aunt Miria.” Kim uttered and left.
Before my mom could walk back in, I hurriedly ran upstairs and back to my room.
Kim’s Pov
I’ve been trying to get to Pie every day. It has been a week since I’ve started coming to Pie’s home but I am nowhere near talking to her. The nearest I could get to was still up to their front gate.
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I know that this time will be difficult but I am nowhere near giving up. I will fight for her. I won’t just let her go like the last time. This is not how we should end. This is not our destiny. I’ll make sure of that.
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The next morning, I woke up early to go to Pie’s home again.
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Now in front of her house, “Pie, please talk to me. Please. Please.”
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Still, there is no sign of Pie ever getting out seeing me.
I refrain myself from calling out to her to think. Suddenly I thought of something that might get her to give me a chance and explain my side to her.
“Pie, please talk to me. If you just listen to what I have to say and you still won’t believe me then … Then I will let go...” I said as I found myself having a difficult time to say the last sentence of my plea.
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My eyes grew wide when I saw Pie coming out of their front door. If it’s any other circumstances, I would have smiled widely seeing her but I can’t because I know that this might still be the last time I’ll be able to talk to her.
Pie opened the gate and stepped outside to talk to me. “You have 3 minutes to tell me what you want to say.” Pie said with conviction.
I didn’t want to waste any second and so I immediately talked, “Pie, I am sorry for not telling you about Aya and Yam’s presence at the conference but I swear I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that, I was also surprised to see Aya there and I thought I didn’t need to tell you since I know how you will be reacting if you find out. You’ll probably ask me to go home at the very moment and I don’t want to disappoint my dad. Plus I am certain that I won’t do stupid things with her. While there, Aya and I cleared things between us, mostly her feelings for me. She just then realized that she never liked me any more than her best friend and that she is actually in love with another guy. Came 2nd day and Yam arrived at the conference late. I thought of calling you but I got my phone broken. Here, look at my phone.” I said as I reached to my pocket and showing Pie my wrecked phone. “I also just want you to know that Yam and I talked. It turned out that she is now engaged and that we both have moved on from what happened before. Please, Pie. Please believe me.” I added.
“That’s the problem Kim, no matter what you say, I can’t find myself to believe you. Right now as I look at your face, all I feel is pain and I can’t help myself from feeling it. And I’m sorry. I’m being completely honest here. I don’t know what to believe anymore. It’s like my mind only understands what you said but my heart cannot. I’m just going to say what I wrote in my letter over and over again so please stop coming here. Don’t waste your time; nothing’s going to change my mind.” Pie articulated.
I look at her eyes and all I can see is pain and certainty. She has made her decision. Pie turned her back to me and was about to walk away but I quickly grabbed her and back hugged her. “Don’t let me go.” The last sentence I said to her.
Pie took my hands off her, “It’s over.” And she walked back inside.
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I hate how I always end up alone outside their gate while the rain started to pour. I hate it!!!
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Since the last time we talked, I always look at Pie from a far. My car - parked a few houses from hers. Just enough distance where she can’t see me in the dark but I can see her in her veranda. And of all those nights I came to see her from a far, she was always crying alone as she was staring at the sky.
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Seeing her in so much pain because of me, I decided to just give her space – a long one. Of course, I knew it won’t be easy. I knew it would take forever to just stay away from her even for just a while. Especially that as days go by, I feel myself losing oxygen. Pie is the air I breathe. She makes me want to live and do better. Without her, all I feel is pain. All I see is darkness. I tried to do many things to forget her. I tried working most of the times just to keep me away from thinking of her but failed. Then I learned the greatest invention of all time, Liquors. Yes, I often drown myself of Alcohol. My dad knew everything that happened. He has also tried numerous times to stop me from drinking alcoholic beverages but failed as much as his attempts.
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Today is the 3rd week since Pie left me and I am in what used to be our unit drinking again. I got so drunk that I lost control of myself.
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And yes, I ended up calling Pie’s number. I know she won’t answer my call but just knowing she’d probably look at her phone to check whose calling is enough for me to feel a little better. My phone then buzzed and to my surprise, Pie sent me a message. I quickly opened the message and focused really hard to be able to read what’s written due to unsteadiness caused by Alcohol.
Pie: I am changing my number tomorrow. Please just respect my decision.
Yes, folks!!! She completely wants me out of her life. AND I HATE IT!!! HOW CAN SHE JUST GIVE UP ON US?!!!
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The next thing I knew. I was on the building’s roof top and I was standing at the edge of it. My hands extended like a bird’s wings as I feel the cold air touch my skin. My eyes are closed and I feel like I wanted to fly. Yes. I want to just jump off of it, fly and then fall to the ground to end my misery. I was about to really jump when I strong wind blew that made me open my eyes and jump backwards falling to the ground of the roof top.
I felt my heart beat fast as I realized what I was about to do a while ago.
“Kim, what are you doing here?!!!” I heard my dad’s voice. I heard him ran to me and hugged me instantly. “What are you doing?!! Don’t tell me you wanted to end your life because of Pie?!!!” He asked, again.
When I was sure that he was beside me and hugging me. My tears began to roll on my face. “Dad, I want to die. Please just kill me.” I knew that when I said that, I’d hurt him but I can’t help it. It’s what I truly feel and what I truly wanted to happen.
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“Don’t do this to yourself Kim. Please be strong.” He said.
“I can’t. I just can’t. I lost her. I lost Pie forever.” I stated as I sob.
“Listen to me Kim.” My dad held my chin making me look at him eye to eye. “When I lost your mom, I also felt like dying. I felt like I lost my will to continue living. I ruined myself the way you are doing it right now. I always come home late, drunk and even high. I just… I just lost it… I didn’t care if you were so little back then. All I cared for was just about me and your mom gone, the only girl that I love, there is no point in living. One day while you have fallen asleep in the couch in my room. I came in late and I was so drunk to even notice you were there. I sat on my bed and took out some drug in my pocket. That night, I decided to end up my life. I opened the container of the drug and pour all of it into my hands while some pieces fell to the floor. I was about to drink those drug in my hands but then you popped out of nowhere and walked to me. You picked up a few pieces of the drug that spilled to the floor and copied what I was about to do. You looked at me straight in the eye and smiled. And yes, you were about to take the drug in your hand but I snapped out of my own little world and I was able to stop you. I hugged you as tight as I cried really hard. You woke me up from my death. I guess the pain made me forget that I still have you and that I love you as much as I love your mom. I thank you for helping me live, again. Because of you, I realized that no matter what I do, I can never have your mother back and that you’re all that I have. You are the very reason I breathe right now my princess. So don’t tell me now that you want to die just because a girl left you. Don’t even think it. She’s not the only one that loves you. Always remember that the day you end your life is also the day I stop breathing too.” This is the moment I witnessed my father cried again.
“Believe me when I say, it is not the end of the world. You are still young and there are more difficult problems that you’ll encounter. Continue breathing for the two of us. I know I sound so selfish right now but you were the one who stopped me from killing myself, it’s only fair that I do the same for you.” He added as he hugged me again.
I was speechless. He’s right. Continue breathing – that’s what I should do.
I pulled away from him, stood up and tapped him in the shoulder, “Thanks dad. I’m going to get some fresh air.”
I went to my car and drive to Pie’s home again. Parked few houses away from her house, I can see her again crying on her veranda. I finally understand, Pie was crying not only because she’s hurting but also because she knows I am hurting too.
I reached for my phone and dialled her number hoping she’s answer my last and final call. From a distance, I saw her staring at her phone as it rang. To my surprise, she answered my call. “Hello, Kim.”
“Pie…”
“This will be the last time I’ll be talking to you.” She said.
“I know…” I answered. “I just want to hear your voice for the last time. And yes, I now respect your decision.”
“Thanks.” She said as a small smile crept to her lips. For the first time in a while, I knew I made her smile sincerely.
“I only hope for you to find your happiness again. Thank you and good bye.” I finally said as a tear escaped my eye. I didn’t wait for her to speak again and I ended the call.
I turned off my phone as I drove away……
Pie’s PoV
“I only hope for you to find your happiness again. Thank you and good bye,” were the last words that Kim said to me before she ended the call.
I was about to call her back but her phone’s unavailable then I saw a familiar car passing in front of our house. I know it’s her. I’m sure of it.
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I was able to hear Kim’s voice tonight. Surprisingly I feel happy. Not only because I was able to talk to her but also because she has final accepted my decision.
I walked back to my room and lie down to my bed. For the first time, I was able to quickly fall asleep.
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Few days passed, and I learned that Kim left the country…
I am kind of sad that she didn’t say goodbye but at the same time, I wanted her to move on and find her happiness soon……
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AN:
This is one of the major downs in Kim and Pie’s relationship :) don’t worry too much.. they’ll be okay eventually :)
Can you guys feel the end of this book coming soon???
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