Cold. Numb. Empty. I had been curled up in a ball on the floor of Nathan's room for what I perceived to be hours until Nathan was able to get close enough to me without me flinching away and moved me to his bed, laid me down and pulled me into his chest. I stayed in the same position, not moving. Even with Nathan radiating plenty of heat, and keeping the blankets on me I still felt cold. Cold in my bones. My own parents. They hated me enough to want to palm me off to someone who could and would kill me without even thinking twice. How could they? I never would've gathered they didn't want me. They were so loving, brought me up in a good household, kept on top of my education and everything, even with the other family instances that happened through the years, and their unwarming behaviours.
The sun peeked through the curtains painting a stream of orange along the floor. Nathan seemed to stir, tightening his grip on me. I remained still, lifeless.
"You didn't get any sleep did you?" I heard Nathan speak groggily in his husky morning voice. I didn't answer or move. I heard him sigh as he sat up. "You haven't spoken let alone moved. I know it was a shock to learn about how and why you ended up with me but you can't act dead forever." He said. I knew he was right but that didn't mean I was ready to attempt to do anything any time soon. I was quite content playing dead and being cold. Not feeling anything as far as emotions go.
"Why don't you have a nice hot bath? It might help." He suggested. I still didn't budge. "Come on Alysha, you can't stay in my bed all day. I've got to go to work in..." He trailed off, leaning over me to get his phone. "An hour."
"Nothing? Really?" He said after a few moments. He snapped his fingers in my face a few times. He still didn't get any reaction from me. My glassy, glazed over eyes remaining fixed on thin air. "Can you at least give me an answer about having some blood this morning?" He asked. I didn't say anything. I didn't move. He took my wrist in his hand and brought it too his mouth. "I'm taking your silence as a yes, say something or pull your wrist from my grip if you object." He said baring his fangs watching me intently. He had his fangs pinching my wrist. I still gave him no reaction. "I'd thought I'd at least get something from you!" He groaned frustratedly, dropping my wrist. "Look, I'm not going to take any blood unless you give me a verbal yes and are willing, or you offer it which you've only ever done two or three times of your own free will so I won't hold my breath for that happening." He said, moving my hair behind my ear. "Can you just try to move at some point? Preferably before I leave for work so I know you are alive." He said, kissing my forehead and shuffling down the bed to hop off at the end. I just remained where I was, staring into space. I heard Nathan move about his room before a door open and close. Within a minute or so I heard the shower running.
'Should I move? I don't want to. It would make Nathan happy... but do I really care about anything anymore? Why is the temperature changing...?' I moved onto my stomach, pulling the blankets with me. I moved. Yay. Nathan will get off my case and go to work and all will be great in the world. Except. There's the whole - parents don't give a shit about me and would rather me dead thing. Nathan probably only took me because he felt sorry for me. Maybe just saw it as a free deal to getting another girl to drain. There would've been two of us then. He could pick and choose over who he drank from next. Who knows, maybe one of us had the morning shift and the other the night. Best of fun.
I heard the water stop running. Five minutes later I heard footsteps. The room flooded with light as curtains were forced open. I felt the bed dip. "You moved." Mr obvious stated. "Any plans to do anything else other than roll onto your stomach?" He questioned, resting his hand on my back. "Good talk." He said dryly. I think he was getting just a tad annoyed. Maybe if I keep this up long enough he will punish me. Might feel something then.
"I'm going downstairs to have a coffee, then I'll come back to check on you before I leave. If you haven't moved I just might have to consider relocating you myself." He said patting my shoulder before exiting the room.
When Nathan was close I felt so much warmer. Even if my bones continued to feel like ice. My skin was warmer. I bet he's doing it on purpose. Just trying to make me move or say something about feeling cold. Feeling something. But I can't. There is nothing left to feel. The ultimate betrayal is that of your own family. It's more than just a simple stab in the back. More than a hundred stabs in the back. More than a thousand. A hundred thousand. Nothing compares. The closest I can imagine to describe it is the feeling of being pushed off a four hundred thousand foot cliff, landing hard on a thousand rusty nails. Then having boulders of hail plummet from the sky, showering your body, cutting every inch of your body, bruising it and crushing every bone until it's smaller than a grain of sand. But no, it doesn't stop there. You're brought back by the slither of hope that it's all a lie, all a dream. Just before you get hit again with the force of a stampede, having reality come at you. You feel sick. Not just regular nausea. It goes beyond the feeling of impending bile ready to burn your esophagus, building with pressure. Your life crumbles. You feel the slow, painful sensation through every inch of your body as your heart shatters. You become numb. Cold. You tremble as your body freezes. Your breathing slows, blood freezing within your veins. You feel like you're about to die and you do. There is no longer anything left apart from the numbness of paralysis, locking your body in place. You can't sleep. You don't feel hungry or thirsty. Just empty.
----------------------------------------------------
Nathan returned and sighed at the sight. I hadn't moved. I don't even think I have blinked. He didn't move me, only pleading that I got up at some point, even if I just texted or called him so he knows I'm okay. He told me he unlocked the back door so I could go out if I wanted so as long I don't let myself catch a cold or freeze to death. Reluctantly he left with a kiss to my head, bound for work.
I remained staring at the wall. Periodically my phone buzzed, signifying I had received a text. I ignored it. Every single time I refused to flinch. I kept this up even as the amount of light rose and fell with the changing of hours, changing of weather. The temperature dropped as the day went on, getting lower and lower. There was only at one point it felt the slightest bit warmer. It didn't last long. The wind picked up as the day went on, fluctuating as time passed. Light soon became dark for good. I was wholly encased in darkness. I didn't mind. I didn't mind anything really. I'm all for the depths of hell.
"Alysha I'm home!" I heard a deep voice echo. I heard a door slam shut then heavy footsteps making their way up closer to my place. Dim light creeped around the corner of the doorframe until the main light blasted above me. I heard a deep, angry growl rip through silence. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"
The footsteps were heavier, louder, closer. I felt myself being flipped over onto my back. I was greeted by the sight of fiery eyes. I wasn't phased. "You haven't moved at all today have you?!" An angry vampire snapped, fangs bared. I closed my eyes. I didn't care for this.
"Alysha I've had enough. I get that everything hit you really hard, I shouldn't have blurted it out and I wish I could take everything back. But I can't. What is said is done- can't change the past.. But that doesn't mean I'm going to just let you waste away because you couldn't care any less about your life right now! Who gives a flying fuck about your blood relations!? They don't care but I do. They don't want you but I do. And don't think I only want you for your blood because that's not true. Now you've got two options. One; you continue with ignoring me and everything else and end up in the basement until you snap out of whatever trace you are in. Or two: snap out of it now and talk to me." Nathan glowered.
I opened my eyes and looked at him with a blank look. His intense hard stare didn't let up. It didn't break me, rather him. Nathan stood up angrily, ripping the blankets off my body. Goosebumps littered my skin within a nano second. Nathan picked me up bridal style and carried me downstairs. Ah well. Looks like I'm dying in his basement. Better late than never right? Should've died in there last year.
Nathan set me down on the old bed before maneuvering behind me slightly so that I was partly sitting up. It wasn't long before his wrist was in my mouth, the familiar taste of his blood coating my taste buds and insides of my cheeks. Slowly but surely it filled my mouth. Nathan removed his wrist and clamped my mouth shut when he realised I haven't swallowed. He tilted my head back and pressed lightly on my neck. It forced me to swallow. My own body wouldn't let me choke and die. Wouldn't that be ironic. Dying from drinking blood. Not from my blood being drunk. Hilarious.
Nathan checked I had swallowed it all then moved, laying me down again. He covered me with the sheet and then a thicker blanket before speeding out of the room and coming back with two other thicker blankets. He laid them over me then looked at me with an expression I couldn't read.
"I'll check on you later. I hope when I do you would've snapped out of whatever headspace you are in." His voice was laced with anger and yet I could still tell he was worried, just from his stance and hesitance to leaving the room. This ought to be fun. See how long he lasts before he realises there is nothing to snap out of and takes me back into the house, and holds me to keep me warm, making his body a furnace like last night. I don't get why he just won't let me die. There's no point in keeping me around and alive if he won't drink my blood. I hope he ends it soon. I'm done with caring.
Time passed and I got colder, and colder, and colder. The temperature wouldn't stop dropping. Bloody basement probably isn't insulated like the rest of the house. My body froze and I was forced to move around the bed, trying to get warm. The three
blankets doing nothing much to ward off the cold. I eventually gave up, rolled back into the position I was originally in and huffed. I don't want to die from being frozen. I want a quick and painless death. Maybe Nathan will snap my neck or something.
The door opened and soon enough I had a shadow looming over me. "Well at least you've moved." He said as he sat down. "Are you going to say something?" I looked at him before looking away again. There was only one way I was getting out of this blizzard of a basement.
"I'm cold." I mumbled, looking up to Nathan wearily.
"Are you going to stop acting like you are completely dead?" He asked, brushing my hair off my face and putting a warm hand against the side of my neck. I nodded before leaning into his hand.
"Come on then, let's get you upstairs and warm." He said, removing the blankets and picking me up, holding me tightly against him. He started radiating heat within seconds, carrying me out. I buried my face in his chest, gripping onto his grey sweater.
Nathan carried me to the lounge room and laid me down, a thick, fluffy blanket already on the couch. Nathan pulled it over me and sped out of the room, when he came back he had one of his fleece hooded jumpers. He told me to put it on then left the room again. I pulled it over my head and snuggled into the blanket. When Nathan came back he had a bowl of what I presumed to be soup. He put it on the table and motioned for me to sit up. I did and reached for the soup. I leant back and was pulled off to the side into Nathan's chest as his body warmed up once again. I moved the veggies and bits of chicken around the bowl, still not feeling hungry. I heard a growl then felt Nathan's lips at my ear.
"Eat. You have had nothing all day." He said bitterly, tightening his grip on me. I whimpered and slowly ate my soup as Nathan played a movie. I didn't pay much attention to it. I just wanted Nathan to not be angry with me and for me to actually get some sleep.
Once I finished my soup I reached to the table to put my bowl on the coffee table then snuggled back up to Nathan, pulling the blanket back over me. I closed my eyes after getting comfortable. Nathan's protective hold encased me in my safe place as I drifted off to sleep.
---------------------------------------------------
I stirred to the feeling of being moved. I groaned and leaned further into the source of warmth. "Shhh, you're okay baby girl. Go back to sleep." I heard a voice whisper as I was set down on a cushioned surface. The warmth started to leave my body as soon as I was set down. I let out a whine, hating the cold. The same voice from before hushed me as something heavy was pulled over my tired body and helped me to retain some heat. Silence. I moved around, trying to reach for whatever was keeping me warm. I couldn't feel anything. I exhaled and gave up. My limbs feeling far too heavy to keep moving. Dreamland reclaimed me once again.
Jolted awake by the clash of thunder, I shot up breathing heavily. I whimpered and laid back down, snuggling into my blankets as I rubbed my teary eyes sleepily, still trembling at the fright. I sniffled and looked around the room. My own room. 'I wish I could snuggle with Nathan' I found myself thinking. I crawled out of bed and shuffled my way along the floor, dragging the blanket I had downstairs along with me, using it as a cape. I got to Nathan's door, shivering and frightened by the storm. I knocked on the door softly. I didn't hear a response and cracked the door an inch to see if he was asleep or not. I couldn't see anyone. I opened the door wider and frowned when I saw his bed made and Nathan nowhere to be seen.
"Nathan..." I sniffed, pulling my blanket around me tighter. I plodded down the stairs and looked around for him. I still couldn't find him. I wandered around the house moping. I want cuddles.
"You should still be in bed baby, it's five in the morning." I heard a husky voice as a pair of strong arms wrap around me. I turned into the man as another crack of thunder blasted my eardrums.
"I wanted snuggles but you weren't in your room." I mumbled against his chest.
"Sorry baby, I had to go out. Come on, go back to bed. You need to sleep." He said, kissing my head.
"I wanna snuggle" I whined. I heard Nathan chuckle as he heated up, holding me closer.
"I see you have switched up your attitude completely." He grinned against my ear. I whimpered as he lifted me up. He carried me up to his room and laid me on the bed. He put a file type folder on his desk before coming back over to me and kicking off his shoes. I immediately pulled myself closer to him when he slipped under the blanket. "I have something to talk to you about later" He whispered softly, rubbing my back soothingly in a secure embrace. I nodded as I nuzzled his neck sleepily.
"I'll be right here when you wake up baby girl." He whispered tenderly, kissing my forehead again.
---------------
He was truthful. I woke up again, this time with the bright sun beaming through the curtains. I looked up and saw Nathan had his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful. I smiled softly and nuzzled back up to him as I was before, tugging on the blanket to pull it up higher on my neck as it was exposed. I hate British winters. I can't handle the cold when it's like this.
"Good morning baby girl" I heard a croaky voice as the grip on my waist was tightened.
"Good morning" I smiled.
"Are you warm enough?" He asked, moving onto his side to face me. I nodded. "How did you sleep?"
"Good, still a bit drowsy though. What about you?"
"Really good. Because I know you are willing to be close to me again like before." He grinned, I returned it with a small smile looking down.
"You said you had something to talk to me about..." I spoke with a slight wobble to my voice, worried that it would be bad.
"It's about moving forward. I know you want to get out of the house more, and just going to school isn't going to cut it. So as far as walks go, they will be few and far between while it's winter but when it starts to warm up I'll let you go out more often. But I was talking with a few connections. You turn sixteen tomorrow."
"What about it." I snorted.
"You didn't think I forgot did you?" He said nudging me. "I always got you a cake no matter what kind of trouble you were in, and a present if you were good." He said softly, looking puzzled about my sudden agitation.
"It's not that." I grumbled. "Parents always made a big deal, saying I'd have a big party and whatnot. Pft. Like they ever actually cared anyway. It was never going to go ahead- they got rid of me before I was even thirteen." I spat bitterly. Nathan sighed.
"I didn't know. I'll make a fuss if you want me to, if you don't want me to do anymore than I usually do I won't. Except you can't stop me from buying you a cake. That's not negotiable." He said smiling at the end. I looked at him with an annoyed look.
"Just tell me what's with your connections?" I grumbled.
"I've organised for you to get into a traineeship type thing while you are still at school. Jumped through a few hoops, and it's not a solid yes just yet but if you want you could be working at an animal shelter. I know how much you like animals." He said. I looked up at him not believing him. The animal industry has no crossover with the music industry.
"You don't believe me." He said sadly. I looked down as he propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at me. "The paperwork is in the navy blue folder on my desk. Application and everything. Not just that but forms to open a bank account for you so you can get paid, the forms for you to get a National Insurance Number which you need to work. Everything is in the folder."
I looked up at him then past him at his desk. I sat up and crawled out of bed. I grabbed the folder then dived straight back under the covers next to my personal heater. I opened the file thing and saw a heap of papers. Sure enough there was an application for an online course for Pet Care, application for the traineeship, bank forms and papers from the government. I looked up at Nathan with glassy eyes.
"You serious?" My voice wavering. Nathan nodded.
"I just need to fill out the forms and get you to sign them before I send them off."
I beamed in delight, pouncing on him giving him a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I repeated hurriedly in delight. Nathan only laughed and held me tight.
"You're welcome baby girl" He said kissing my cheek as I settled down a bit. "And now, as much as I'd hate to ruin the moment, I've got to get to work. I've got an eleven o'clock meeting and it's nine thirty now. You need to get off me."
I groaned with a pout and I rolled off him. He kissed my head and got out of bed. I let out a whine as I instantly felt so much colder. "Do you want me to get you another blanket?"
"I want you to come back and cuddle with me. You are really warm and everything else is not. Please? Just five more minutes." I begged.
"Five minutes will turn into hours. I know you won't let go. But if I've got time before I have to leave we can cuddle until then. Sound fair?" He bargained. I grudgingly agreed as Nathan walked around his room getting clothes before walking out of his room and going to the bathroom. I sunk deeper in the sheets and thought about Nathan giving me so much more freedom. Is it just so I forget about my parents and everything that happened or does he actually trust me? Was this always in his plan like he said school was?
After Nathan finished getting ready he laid down next to me. I moved close, resting my head on his chest. "You have to let go when I tell you to okay?" Nathan spoke humorously. I nodded.
"Was the job thing part of your master plan all along or do you have another agenda?" I questioned out of curiosity.
"Technically both. I mean it wasn't going to be like I'd have you locked up forever, as you got older you would be entitled to more privileges. Just didn't plan for it to be this early. I didn't even think you would last this long if I'm honest. You're the only girl that's been able to stay alive."
"Apart from me who did you have the longest?"
"A girl named Gabriella, had her for a year and five months."
"Second longest?"
"Why do you want to know?" He said looking at me weirdly.
"I'm curious." I shrugged. He sighed and directed his gaze to the ceiling.
"Longest before Gabby, would've been Jasmine"
"Who did you have first?"
"Jasmine. Look I get you're curious but why all of a sudden now?" He said sitting up looking quite agitated.
"I don't know" I mumbled, looking down. Nathan got out of bed and grabbed his bag.
"I've got to go, I'll see you later." He said as he picked up his phone, walking out the door. I didn't mean to upset him... Why is he so cagey about it anyway? I know they are all dead, I don't really care it would just be nice to know these things. I don't even get why I want to know how many he's had, for how long and how and why they got killed. It would just be interesting to find out how I've managed to stay alive I guess.
I fumbled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom for a shower. As I stood under the hot stream I pondered about what I'd do while Nathan was gone. I know exactly what I'm going to do when he gets back. Force him to tell me what I want to know. How that will go down I don't know, but what happens happens.
I think I'll plan my attack for tonight. Maybe watch a movie or two. Erh this is far too tedious. Same thing everyday- How did I do this for two years? I can't wait to go back to school and start work.
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I heard the roar of a car in the driveway. Nathan's home. About time too! He's almost two hours late. I kick-started my plan, jumping up from my seat and making my way into the kitchen, starting to make a cuppa for him. As I poured the milk I heard the sounds of keys clashing against the kitchen counter. I gave Nathan's tea one last stir and walked across to the opposite side of the kitchen where Nathan had taken a seat at the bar. I put his favourite mug down in front of him before walking around. I put my arms around his torso and said hello. Nathan didn't speak, but put his arm around my shoulder as he took a sip of his tea.
Not the reaction I was hoping for. Time for phase two. "Do you want some blood?" I question, resting my chin on his arm. He ignored me and continued drinking his tea. I audibly sighed and moved away from him, walking towards the stairs, hoping he would stop me. He didn't. I grumbled to myself as I walked up to my room. I was really hoping that would get me his attention. I need a Plan B...
I spent the next hour trying to come up with another plan. So far all I've got is threatening no blood until he tells me what I want to know. But we all know that won't do much. I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. What would get him in a good mood?
"Is that offer still on the table?" I sat up and looked towards the sound. Nathan was leaning against my door frame, hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants, hair disheveled. He looked tired, and sick? I nodded and got up to go over to him. When I got closer I saw I noticed the side of his neck was red again, small almost inverted bubble like dots littering the spot where he was splashed with acid a few weeks ago. I looked up at him frightened and concerned, I went to touch it but Nathan grabbed my wrist harshly growling. I stepped back and he released my wrist, calming down and pulling his hoodie closer around his neck, dodging eye contact. How did I not notice?
I pushed the sleeve of my jumper up to my elbow. "I'll tell you when I feel faint. Then you stop?" I spoke eyeing him, worried about what's wrong with him. Why would the bumps come up now? The burn seemed to heal perfectly fine within three days.
Nathan nodded, wrapped his arm around me tightly and grabbed my wrist. I winced as he bit into me but leaned into his embrace, letting him take as much as he needed... up until the point where I feel like I'm going to pass out anyway.
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NJSykes93
Hellooo! So I haven't forgotten to post at all, very proud of myself hahaha. I've got one last exam but it won't interfer with next weeks update :)
Hope you are all enjoying the drama :D
Until Next Week,
Alysha x