iMessage Between Max and Nikki
Max: hey ik you told me you wanted to wait for a bit to talk about the thing but i cant stand waiting i need to know what happened
Nikki: i get that
Nikki: i'll come over now
Max: thanks nik
Nikki: see you in 20
Max: <3
Max anxiously waited for his girlfriend to show up so they could actually talk about what she did. Twenty minutes couldn't have lasted longer. He tried to pass the time by making coffee, but every minute seemed to go by slower than the last. But after what seemed like forever, Nikki strolled into the apartment and flopped on the couch.
"Hey, Nikki," Max said softly, and sat down next to her.
Nikki sat up. "I'm dreading this conversation."
Max grabbed her hand. "Why?"
"Uh, I guess I'm just scared you'll be mad," Nikki shrugged.
Max shook his head and smiled. "Babe, I'm not mad at you. I just wanna know why you did what you did."
Nikki sighed. "Fuck... I'll just tell you the story from the beginning."
"Okay," Max squeezed her hand.
"So, I uh, found out I was pregnant and immediately knew I wasn't gonna keep it, so I just made the decision to get an abortion after about two weeks and two checkups later. I didn't tell you because I was scared you'd break up with me or something," Nikki admitted.
Max frowned and let go of her hand. "I understand your logic, but I just wish you would have told me sooner. And I get that your decision was in the moment." Max exhaled loudly, then continued to speak. "My therapist told me I should try to let things go."
"Sit down, Max," Dr. Mendoza gestured to the couch.
Max chuckled. "I've been here before Dr. Mendoza, I know the drill."
Dr. Mendoza joined in laughing, and crossed her legs. "What's new hun?"
"I haven't really been sleeping that much. I just can't stop thinking at night. And I've been angry a lot. I've been like, fighting with my parents all the time and I actually regret the fights," Max explained, and groaned at Dr. Mendoza taking notes.
"And is your depression improving with the new meds?"
Max slumped over. "Well, I feel mostly fine when I'm with friends, but when I'm alone I just... break down, ya know? And some days I feel terrible the entire day. Like nothings really worth it. Like I'm not really worth it."
"Will you describe what terrible feels like?"
"Well... the other day, I woke up and felt a pit in my stomach. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. And when I did, I started crying. I felt like I couldn't do it again. I couldn't take another day of living. But I sucked it up and told myself that school is a distraction. From my thoughts and shit. Anyways, when I got to school, I cried in my girlfriends arms during our entire free period. Something like, came over me. And I couldn't stop crying, so I ditched and went home. And my mom sat with me all day and I still couldn't stop. My dad tried to cheer me up too, but he's annoying so I told him to fuck off," Max held back tears. "I feel really bad for saying that. I apologized, but I've been thinking about it for a while."
Dr. Mendoza sighed. "Max, you need to let things go. If he forgives you, you're fine now and should stop thinking about it."
Max scratched his head. "The list of things I worry about just keeps piling up and piling up. Like I still have nightmares about... ya know."
"About your old parents?"
Max nodded, but stayed silent.
Dr. Mendoza smiled sympathetically. "Do you wanna talk about what happened with them? You're mother explained but we haven't discussed it yet."
"Well, okay," Max hesitantly agreed. "The first 10 years of my life was just filled with my parents drinking and hurting me. I just like... put up a wall and never let anyone in. But that was half a decade ago, and I still think about it every single day. Whenever someone even points a finger at me I raise my arms in defense. It's kinda embarrassing. And awkward."
"Why is it awkward?" She asked.
Max shrugged. "Whenever I'm with my friends and that happens there's like, an awkward silence."
"Does that bother you?"
Max shrugged again. "Yeah. It makes my girl sad too, and I feel bad about that."
"Let that go. I promise, it will help your attitude."
Max sighed, and then nodded. "Fine. Thanks, Dr. Mendoza."
"See you next week Max," she replied. They shook hands, and Max left.