Tyler
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I watch Troye walk out of the choir room sitting there dazed for a minute before Ms Kale starts singing you and I by Lady Gaga. When she sees that she's broken me out of my haze she sits down in the chair next to me. I put on my cocky so sure of myself persona that I usually wear around school and I look over at her.
She's about 25 or 26. She has long straight brown hair twisted up into a bun paired with hazel eyes that you can tell are analysing every little thing. Her face is slim and smooth her nose slopes down coming to an end with her small nostrils, her skin is a crispy golden colour.
One look at her and I can tell she doesn't buy my act, She studies me for a few moments and I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable when she asks me.
"Why are you so interested in Troye, Tyler?" My head snaps towards her and my mouth drops. I close my mouth then open it again thinking in was going to defend myself but nothing comes out, "That's what I thought,"
"I don't know why, He drives me crazy. The way he looks, the way he acts, the way he moves. He drives me insane but all I want is him. Maybe it's just because he's challenge but it doesn't feel like that. Like he ran into me this morning and I caught him so he wouldn't fall. I swear it felt like electricity was running through his hands when he touched me. I don't want to be so interested in him, we are in two different social classes, and it would never work. I don't know what to do! Part of me wants to chase him but part of me knows that I shouldn't do that to him when he doesn't want me." I babble to this teacher that I even know. I guess when it comes down to it I feel comfortable around her, Well when she's not studying me. I just let out all the things I've been thinking about, Okay maybe not everything but a lot of it.
"I feel like I know Troye pretty well. Last year he came to me whenever he needed help. I care about Troye a lot and the history I've heard about you makes me unhappy. Please don't take advantage of Troye," My eyebrows furrow when she talks about my 'history'. Of course she thinks all that stuff happened. Troye is the only one that I've told my actual number to. I take a deep breath and begin explaining to her about reputations and how none of that was real and it was all just a big lie.
"Tyler your reputation should not be the most important thing to you, you shouldn't want rumours like this spread about you. What you do in the bedroom should stay between you and that person. Sex is a very, very intimate act. You should only do it with someone who you love. I'm glad to know that all those rumours aren't true. Tyler is careful with Troye please," I nod not trusting myself to speak. I get up watching as Ms Kale walks to her desk writing on a slip of paper before handing it to me.
I look down at the slip seeing that it's an excuse slip. She smiles at me and I thank her before heading to the auditorium for show around day. I walk into the auditorium and I find Mr Yovanna standing at centre stage with the rest of the class in a circle around him. I walk down the aisle between the seats and make my way towards the stage.
Yovanna sees me and yells, "How nice of you to join us Mr, Oakley!!" I smirk knowing that I could set him on fire and he'd still love me. I haul myself up onto the stage and hand him my slip. He reads it over seeing where I came from he says, "Ah so you took my advice on voice lessons, Bravo!"
He shoves the paper into the pocket of his waist coat looking at me then his eyes travel to the students. He makes a hand gesture that tells them to move back and they scoot back making room for me. I glance to Troye sitting between Caspar Lee and Grace Helbig then decide to sit next to Grace. I don't want to push at Troye right now. Two talks about him already and it isn't even lunch yet.
I zone out not paying attention to Mr Yovanna at all. I start thinking about what Connor told me this morning, He told me that if I was serious about chasing Troye that I need to be careful. He told me that I need to prove to Troye that he can trust me, He said I need to be slow with him and not be overwhelming and in your face. He told me why I shouldn't do these things and I was definitely listening to him. I know that Connor is Troye's best friend, He knows Troye best.
What I don't understand though is why Troye is so reluctant to even answer the smallest of questions. I asked him what his favourite colour is and he flipped out and left. Then I was nervous in choir and he calmed me down like he hadn't somewhat flipped on me a few hours before. This boy is the queen of mixed signals. Kid can't make up his mind. Sometimes he'll talk to me and other times he hostile and horrible. I don't know what I should do. I mean I have some kind of feelings for that adorable brunette, I guess I haven't completely made up my mind either.
The bell rings way sooner than I expect it to. I guess that's what happens when you're caught up in your thoughts. I'm still so caught up in my thoughts as I walk out of the Art hall. I don't even notice the tall brunette standing next to me until he clears his throat. My head spins towards him and I can't help but smile at his nervous look, Okay so this is Troye that maybe wants to talk to me right?
"You seem pretty caught up in your thoughts," Troye observes picking at his fingernails. He looks from his fingers to my face and my eyes lock on that adorable birth mark on his cheek. I look away not wanting to make him self- conscious, He seems kind of self-conscious I don't want to make it worse; I want to make it better.
"Yeah I got a lot on my mind," I say not giving him the answer he hoped for. I'm pretty sure he wanted to know exactly what was the 'lot' on my mind was. I could tell him, but I doubt he'd believe me. He seems to think I don't care about him for some reason, which is utter shit. Maybe I'm not so sure what I should do, but one thing is for sure I care about Troye a lot. I don't even know when it happened, one day last year I looked at him and I just felt like I needed to be there for him. I felt like I needed to be his friend, not for him, for me.
When Marcus outed Troye in front of the whole school I don't think I have ever been more furious in my life. Marcus couldn't get it through his thick head that that was Troye's private business. The whole school didn't need to know about it until Troye was ready to tell them. Marcus had told me he was going to do it but he had said it in a manner that made me think he was kidding. I told him if he did I would punch him in the face, Marcus Butler now has a crooked nose and a scar above his eyebrow to match the ones on my knuckles.
My first reaction when I saw Troye run out of the ball room was to follow him. I froze for a minute though not believing that my supposed best friend was capable of that. I pulled Marcus out of the DJ stand before taking him outside punching the shit out of him while I yelled at him and told him what a stupid cunt he is. I left him on the ground and ran to where I thought I might find Troye. He was sitting next to the fountain bawling and I tried to comfort him but he just looked confused. I guess I'd to be confused if a guy I've never spoken to tried to comfort me, especially if he was one of the most popular people in school.
"Tyler?" Troye snaps his fingers in front of my face trying to get my attention. I push his hand away from his face feeling that stupid static thing again, I look over at him and he looks at me like he's expecting an answer.
"Sorry I'm a terrible conversationalist. I'm thinking one thing that leads me to another."
Troye tilts his head raising an eyebrow to tell me he's interested as we reach the door of our dorm. I unlock the door smiling at the Tronnler thing on the door.
"Want to shed some light on these thoughts?" Troye asks walking in the room and sitting on his bed. He puts his hands behind him on the bed and rests his weight on it. He tilts his head again and the white expansion of his neck taunts me. I look away from him throwing my backpack at the end of my bed before I do something stupid. I sit on the end of my bed looking over at him.
"I feel like you're going to get mad at me again if I tell you. As much as I love seeing you all cute and angry. I don't like it when it's because of me," he rolls his eyes at me tugging on the collar of his shirt as he sits up. He looks cute, Ugh Tyler, you have it so bad.
"You're not going to leave me alone so I may as well let you try to win my friendship," I take that as an okay to tell him what I was thinking about. He keeps changing his mind though, I don't want him to be angry with me, Fuck it, Might as well give it a shot, He'll get mad at me later anyways.
"This might be too much right now but I was thinking about you."
Troye manages to keep the same almost bored expression on his face almost the entire time I talk. I see it flicker ever so but I'm not saying anything he isn't acting mad so I'm taking that as a good sign.
"Anything in particular?" Troye asks reaching under his bed and I know what he's searching for. He keeps his head up still looking at me; He looks adorable with his arm stretched under the bed and his face looking at me.
"Move your hand to the right," I tell him and he catches the key in his hand pulling it out from under the bed. "This is a sensitive subject but I was thinking about Marcus outing you. I was thinking about how angry that made me." Troye closes his eyes his face contortions before he opens his eyes at the sound of the door opening.
"Troyler," Connor says as he walks into the room shutting the door behind him. I like that ship name, Troyler, Nice ring to it. If Connor were gay I'd definitely like to date him, He's funny and hot and is a cool guy. Troye looks at Connor and smiles forgetting the bad memory I had just brought him, "You want to go to the tree house? They have those rank burritos for lunch and I'm not eating those," Troye jiggles the key in his hands looking quite cute to be honest.
"Troye how many times do I have to tell you to use your words?" Connor talking to Troye like he's a five year old is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm envious of their relationship I wish I had a friend that good, someone that I was that close to and could tease.
"Fuck off dick head," Troye says as Connor puts his bag down looking over at me. I nod my head then Troye stands up and starts walking out towards the door. I look at Connor and he nudges towards Troye with his head telling me to go.
"I love you too, Troye. I'll catch up with you guys in a few minutes." Troye shrugs and open the door to our room as he shoves his keys in his pocket. We don't look at each other or speak to each other until we reach the edge of the woods.
"Why we're you so mad that Marcus outed me? We had never spoken before you chased me down to ask me if I was okay." I knew he would ask that, I know that he's not going to believe my answer.
"That wasn't his business to tell. Especially since you were not ready yet, I knew who you were Troye. Boys that look like you can't fly under the radar as well as they think they can. I was mad at Marcus because I realized that I care about you." We are standing under the tree house by now and Troye looks back at me for a second before climbing the ladder. I follow him trying not to look at his butt and failing so bad. We get to the top and Troye helps me up our hands touch and I feel the static which makes a smile bloom across my face.
"Does my butt make you that happy?" Troye asks letting go of my hand so he can unlock the door. I think about replying with something sassy but I decide against it following Troye inside and shutting the door.
"You need to be discrete when butt watching, you suck, I've watched you check out people's butts before. You are so obvious about it."
"I am not!!" I whine sitting on the couch that was always my favourite sophomore year when my room won. Troye raises an eyebrow at me then begins imitating me checking out the booty. I end up cackle so loud that Troye covers his ears and pouts as he hides in his bean bags, He looks so cute. I hadn't bothered to move his bean bags back so they are still in front of the couch.
"Troyler I'm coming," Connor sings as he lifts himself up onto the porch. A few seconds later Connor is inside throwing food at us to eat. He has blankets wrapped around his shoulders and I give him a questioning look.
"For when we have movie nights up here, A few years back some kid with a filthy rich dad bought him a laptop that he didn't like so he left it here,"
"Will you stop referring to us as 'Troyler'? It makes us sound like a couple." Troye says giving Connor a pleading look as he pulls one of the blankets off Connor's shoulder. He cuddles up eating his Twinkie. Connor shakes his looking at me for a moment before sitting in the love seat
"But it's cute," Connor says shoving a chip in his mouth. I agree with him. I like having a ship name, even if it's a BroTP and not an OTP.
"Let me explain, it's like a BroTP, Like Ty and I can be Conler and you and I are..." Connor thinks for a minute and I answer for him.
"Tronnor," Troye looks back at me like he's impressed or something. I guess I'm good at coming up with ship names, I'm the one that always starts referring to couples as Zalfie and such. Troye looks cute swaddled in his blanket.
"Being here with you guys is better than lunch with Zalfie and the Harries twins. I feel like I can be more real with you two, I sound cheesy."
"Aw Tyler, You're so sweet," Troye says snuggling deeper into his bean bag pile. He closes his eyes and he has a big ass fucking smile on his face. This boy will be the death of me, I look over to Connor and he's looking at me with a look that says aw. Am I looking at him like I think he's the most adorable thing on the planet? Damn it, Connor chuckles and I realize I must be showing my every reaction on my face.
Troye's eyes flutter open and he gives Connor a dirty look. Connor laughs harder and Troye throws one of his bean bags at him. Seeing them being rambunctious makes me miss how Marcus and I use to be like that before he turned into a fucking ass hat. They must notice the look of hate on my face because Troye sits next me on the couch.
"Ty are you okay?" Such a simple question that can raise so many thoughts, I decide to keep focused and answer him, Wait he just called me Ty instead of Tyler! Progress.
"Just thinking about Marcus, It's nothing," I say knowing that it's far from nothing. Marcus and I have been best friends since freshman year. He was the first one to accept me after I told him about what happened back home. Marcus was an amazing friend and I know a lot of people think it's stupid of me to stop being his friend over this but this is serious. Troye was not ready, Marcus made Troye cry, I don't need people like him in my life.
Troye does something that surprises the crap out of me, He scoots closer to me and wraps and arm around my shoulder. He lets me rest my head on his shoulder and he rubs my arm. Static is flowing but I also feel safe, I see Connor leave feels like a total third wheel. He comes up with some excuse but I can tell Troye doesn't believe him.
"I know what it's like to lose a best friend even if they are a prick now. You want the them, you knew, back. I understand why you miss Marcus," we just sit there for a while like that not saying anything. I feel sleepy and before I know it I've fallen asleep on Troye Sivan's shoulder.
I wake up to the feel of cold couch against my cheek, Troye ditched me. I open my eyes and realize that someone had taken my glasses off. I search around for a minute before I find them on the arm of the couch. I slide my glasses on and I see a note on the door. I stretch as I get off the couch and walk to the door. I pull the note off the door and see Troye's handwriting that I had seen in math today. He's left me a note:
Tyler,
Dude you fell asleep on my shoulder. Yeah classes are about to start so your pillow has to leave because he doesn't have a free fifth hour. The key is on the desk next to the camera. See you in 7th period, Byeeee,--Troye Sivan
How cute is he? He left me a freaking note so i wouldn't have been confused when I woke up. What a sweet heart, I pull out my phone to check the time seeing that I still have twenty minutes until 6th period. I fold the blankets that Connor brought up throwing them across the couch then I grab the key. I lock the door and make my way back to my dorm room to get my things.
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A/N
Hey guys I hope you like this insight to Tyler's cluttered brain, There will be more of these as time progresses, How'd you like the little Troyler cuddlish thing?
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Edited at 5:06PM
11/3/2015
by cydneyjanexx
Twitter: @hipster_sivan