"I know I promised dinner but I have to do something for work really quickly."
I held in a sigh and just nodded at Tommy as he pulled away from the curb and took several turns. I should have known that it wasn't going to be this fucking simple, nothing ever was with Tommy.
Soft words and loving glances were never free. When was I going to learn?
"Work work? Or new work?" I tried asking, hoping that Tommy would take the bait and delve into information I could use instead all I got was a laugh and an eyebrow raise.
"Work work? What's that meant to mean?" Tommy asked as we headed East towards Canary Wharf and I found Harry invading my thoughts as I remember he'd mentioned Diamond Snakes having an office in the vicinity.
"You know," I played with my hands awkwardly, "Snakes or..?"
"Oh." Tommy sighed and I chewed my lip as we carried on past the business district.
"Snakes." Tommy muttered eventually and I nodded. That wasn't helpful to me.
"Is everything okay? Are you still wanting to leave?" I dared to ask, I didn't know how to get information from someone, I'd never done it or even attempted it before. I wasn't someone who people felt compelled to talk to.
"Just something with a shipment and a couple of late arrivals." Drugs.
"Obviously, everyone in that entire organisation is insufferable." Perhaps that's you.
I hummed as I thought about my next move, the smell of salt and something distinctly like fish invaded my nostrils and I put two and two together and realised we were heading towards the docks.
"You know, you can tell me anything yeah?"
I decided to take the caring girlfriend approach, I did feel bad about all my sudden thoughts of distaste towards Tommy but Harry really was my best friend and Tommy had never been a friend to me.
"You're very chatty tonight." Tommy commented and I swallowed, I was pushing it.
"I'm sorry. I just want you to know you don't have to suffer in silence," I smiled at him even though he hadn't looked at me once since we'd left my house.
"We're a team you know." I used his words from last night.
"You've already been more than helpful." Tommy grinned and my heart dropped.
I thought I was doing a pretty good job pretending it had never happened. There were only a handful of moments I remembered what happened and relived it whilst I was awake, nights weren't the same story but I was handling it.
"Fuck!" Tommy swore loudly, his hand landing on the steering wheel with a loud thud making me jump as I looked at him in a panic, briefly afraid that he knew what I'd been thinking.
"What the fuck is he doing here?"
I frowned as I followed Tommy's gaze and saw a small cluster of men standing around towards the end of the dock we were currently driving towards. The black car was immediately recognisable and even if it wasn't, I would have known the tall curly headed man standing next to it in a heartbeat.
"Fuck, he ruins everything." Tommy muttered.
"Who?"
"Can't wait until he gets what he deserves. Always fucking butting into everything, it's not even his business, Styles doesn't even know what he's fucking doing." Tommy ranted ignoring me.
"You're not going to hurt him are you?" I took my chance, pretending to be concerned about Tommy's welfare in it all.
"Of course we are. Luke fucking hates him, I can't wait for it. I can't wait to see him dead." Tommy cut the engine and I felt like throwing up. "Anyway, why do you care?"
"I know that," I stressed, trying not to panic. "I just mean you're not going to be involved are you? You might get in trouble."
I licked my lips as I kept my eyes on Tommy as much as I wanted to look at Harry I knew I couldn't.
"I'm going to love sinking my fist into him May. He's a fucking snake, always has been."
"What does that mean?" I chewed my lip, he wasn't giving anything away.
"Everyone loves Harry Styles," Tommy spat as we sat in the cold car, "Everyone thinks the sun shines out of his fucking arse but he's a snide prick who thinks he's better than everyone else and pretends he can do no wrong even though he's as thick as pig shit, seriously you're smarter than him."
I frowned and looked away from Tommy and focused on my hands instead, biting my tongue as to not get myself into trouble. It looked like I wasn't ever going to get more information and I cursed myself for being stupid. I cursed myself not being able to defend Harry against Tommy's mean words.
"See. That is exactly what I mean!" Tommy snapped.
I followed his eyes out the window and I felt my heart in my throat as I watched Harry.
It didn't even look like Harry I was watching but I knew it was. His lean build suddenly aggressive and nasty as he landed blow after blow on a man I didn't know.
That wasn't my Harry. He told me he wasn't like that. I know I didn't know what was going on over there, but I couldn't help but feel betrayed. Harry had told me, he'd told me that he wasn't like that anymore.
"Acts like he's fucking god and everyone lets him get away with it because he's next in line. This isn't even his fucking job!" Tommy snapped hitting the steering wheel again but I kept my eyes on Harry.
It was horrific but I couldn't stop watching.
The only indication I had that Tommy had left he car was the door slamming shut and him storming towards the little group, his own fists clenched. I could see mouths moving and arms waving as Harry removed himself from the man I didn't know.
I only knew Harry and Tommy within the little group, the now bruised man and the two other men complete strangers to me, but the two I did know weren't even looking at each other. There was just arm raising and what I assumed was shouting.
Once again I was left alone with nothing but my thoughts and worry as I tried not to be scared of Harry. I knew Harry. Harry, who promised he'd never hurt me, that we were friends and that he was always there for me.
Harry, who was enjoying The Office. Harry, who was in a gang. Harry, who was my best friend. Harry that hated my boyfriend but kept his distaste to himself for my sake. Harry, who sent me stupid little texts throughout the day to keep me amused at work.
My Harry who was covered in someone else's blood and had bruised fists, again. I wondered if that's what he did in the Diamond Snakes. He'd never told me. He never talked about work unless I asked and even then, short and snappy.
Was he still my Harry if that's what he did for a living?
Did my Harry beat people up, every single day?
I sucked in a shaky breath as I watched the four of them having their spat before Tommy pointed towards me and I watched frozen in fear as they all turned to look at me and I met Harry's eyes.
I could see Tommy talking, the bruised man responding but all I cared about was Harry. He wasn't speaking, but I knew he was listening. Harry always listened, heard everything. I couldn't even blink as we stared at each other.
His face was expressionless and unreadable, just like he was when I'd first met him, and I didn't like it. I liked smiley Harry who chatted away without a care in the world. I wasn't sure I even knew this Harry.
His lips moved but his face didn't change but I knew that his eyes were holding everything, they always were. But even then, I was never able to read them. Another thing I wasn't good at; reading people.
I watched him speak again before he stormed away towards his car and I felt cold without his stare. Harry really did have an indescribable way of heating me, even without his physical presence.
My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket the moment Harry's car tore away from the dockyard and I jumped at the sudden interruption from my thoughts.
Harry: What are you doing?
I chewed my lip as my thumbs hovered over the screen.
You better not be texting and driving.
Harry: Answer the fucking question May.
This wasn't my Harry, my Harry called me Sunshine, not May. But my worry of him driving and texting outweighed my distrust of the Harry on the other end of the phone.
I'm sorry. I'm going out with Tommy tonight and he said he had work to do first. I didn't know we would be here, I'm sorry.
Harry: No need to apologise to me sunshine. You shouldn't be involved with any of this.
I chewed my lip as I stared at my phone screen, I had no idea how to reply. I tugged at my hair, flicking my eyes to see Tommy still aggressively talking to his friends. I had no idea what was going on there.
I generally just had no idea what was happening at all.
I jumped as my phone buzzed again.
Harry: I need to ask you some questions.
I swallowed thickly, I didn't know why I was panicking, it was just Harry. But something about his statement worried me, just as I was typing an a quick reply my phone started ringing and I accepted immediately as I made sure Tommy wasn't on his way back.
"You better not be driving and calling."
"I pulled over, Jesus Sunshine I had no idea you cared so much." Harry drawled through the phone, his voice an easy contrast to the actions I'd seen him display.
"Of course I care, you're my...friend." I hesitated. I cringed at my lame response but I was worried about calling him my best friend. I didn't know if Harry thought that too, for all I knew he might just find me some weird loner girl he takes pity on.
"Thanks... friend." Harry mocked and I snorted, forgetting my fear completely as I watched Tommy as I kept the phone to my ear. "I don't want to involve you but I figured you know."
"He doesn't tell me anything." I confessed.
"Good. You really shouldn't be involved in any of this shit, ever." Harry said firmly and I fought an eye roll. "But, supplies have been going missing lately, have you noticed Scott acting suspiciously?"
"Harry, you're asking me if my boyfriend who forgets I exist five days outta seven has been acting strangely?" I mutter, momentarily forgetting how nice Tommy had been lately. The guilt was barely existent.
"Ouch Sunshine."
Harry laughed and I chewed my lip as I wished I was spending the evening with him at home instead of in some stuffy restaurant and cinema watching a horror film I didn't even want to see.
"No I haven't noticed anything. I mean he's never talked about that with me or anything." I confessed and I could imagine Harry nodding away like his does when he listens to me talk.
"He has some new friends though. You might want to look into Tommy's out of hours activity." I tell him.
I wanted to wait until we were together in person to actually tell Harry everything, I figured telling him my boyfriend had friends who wanted him dead would be news best dealt with face to face. But hopefully my tip would be useful but I wasn't sure.
"That's vague." Harry said in only a way Harry could. "And I know you know more than you're telling me. Sunshine I hope you're safe."
My heart thudded.
"It needs to wait until we see each other next." I admitted, chewing my lip. "I've been trying to get more information about it so I can be helpful but it's not going too well." I confess, knowing Harry hasn't got a clue what I'm going on about.
"Sunshine I don't want you getting involved in any kind of Snakes business, whatever Scott is doing is probably illegal and I don't want you involved. You need to be careful okay?"
"Harry I know what I'm doing. He's my boyfriend." I have no idea what I'm doing.
"Yeah because that title has stopped him from hurting you before." He snapped and I sucked in a sharp breath.
"Fuck Sunshine I didn't-"
"I have to go." I cut him off as I saw Tommy turn and start to approach the car.
"Don't text and drive and clean your fucking knuckles. I'm not always going to be there to do it for you. Bye H."
I stuffed my phone back into my jacket pocket just as Tommy pulled the door open and looked at me for a long moment, his stare not giving me a chance to overthink the fact I hung up on Harry without letting him speak or that fact I called him H.
Another first.
"Who was on the phone?"
"Mum."
"Huh." Tommy nodded as he started the car and reversed round.
"Everything okay?"
"Let's skip dinner and just go straight to the cinema." Tommy decided and I frowned a little, I was hoping to put off the horror film for as long as possible.
I nodded silently and chewed my lip as I thought about what I was going to do with Harry, I knew very well there was a high chance he was going to turn up at my house before I was ready and in all honesty I was scared to tell him about it.
What if he didn't believe me?
I mean, I had no credibility and barely any information. I couldn't tell him about what happened between Luke Jones and I, not that I wanted to, ever, all I had was that Tommy wanted to leave the Diamond Snakes for the Red Syndicate.
That and he more than likely was stealing drugs from the shipments and oh yeah by the way new best friend, my boyfriend and his new gang mates want to kill you.
Yeah, that was going to be a fun conversation. Not.