. . .
Only when our drinks had arrived, finally along with our food, did I begin to tell Noah how I'd ended up in Pesmo Beach, living with my sister in our grandparent's old bungalow.
As I picked around the leafy salad, pushing all the greenery to the side of the plate Noah asked me if everything was ok.
"Something wrong with your food?" he said, an eyebrow raised.
I wanted to tell him that I'd only ordered a salad to be polite, because I had assumed he may be vegetarian. I should have been able to explain that I worried too much, about what he'd think of me tucking in a juicy, meat heavy burger but I couldn't.
"Oh no it's fine, just not as hungry as I thought I was." I lied, putting a piece of soggy lettuce to my mouth, forcing myself to eat.
Noah had all but devoured his burger, a few stray fries lingering on the edge of his plate. My stomach rumbled with desire to scoop them up but manners stopped me.
"So you didn't like your internship then?" Noah asked, finally finishing off the fries I'd had my eye on. "Must have been cool living in New York though."
"New York was very different from where I grew up." I began to tell him, pushing away the picked apart salad. "Portland was much more laid back and easy going, so I wasn't quite prepared for how hectic it was."
"Never been to New York or Portland but I imagine big city life is quite daunting if you're not used to it."
"It was, and of course I'd never lived by myself or away from home before so that didn't help, especially since I shared an apartment with really unfriendly people." I sighed, remembering the arguments over unwashed dishes, the endless mess and noise I'd come home to each evening and Dave the creep, who lived in the room next door, and who would always wait for me outside the bathroom.
I didn't miss it one bit.
Finishing the last of my soda, I told Noah how I'd dreamt of leaving home and making a name for myself in the publishing industry, that I wanted to do well to prove everyone wrong, that I didn't need college to get ahead. I tried to explain how menial and demeaning some of my duties were and just how bad it got towards my last few months.
"Wow, that sounds awful." he exclaimed, eyes wide when I told him how the creative director had once made me clean her stiletto's, after she'd stepped in dog shit on her way to the office.
He stared at me, opened mouth and in shock, when I revealed that I once stayed in over the fourth of July weekend to finish off a paper-mache, placenta piñata for her best friends upcoming baby shower. The memory of my hands pink and covered in glue and tissue was still burned into my mind.
Not even the worst memory of my time there, either.
"I don't blame you for walking out." Noah laughed. "I'm surprised you lasted so long!"
"I don't know how I did either but I know my Mom was mad at me for quitting, she told me to go back the next day and beg them for forgiveness."
"I hope you didn't listen to her."
"I didn't." I replied proudly. "But it meant she refused to speak to me for weeks."
Noah looked up at me. "Well I'm glad you followed your gut."
"I was glad too and happy, until I eventually ran out of money and had to beg my sister to let me stay with her, here in Pesmo."
I still hated the thought of that phone call, when I'd cried and pleaded with her to help me out, because our Mom was too busy holidaying with her new boyfriend, Phillip to care what happened to me. It took a lot of convincing on my part to make her agree.
"So how are you finding it here then, must be such a change in pace." Noah asked. "I know I found it hard to adjust to how... empty and quiet it was."
"I used to visit my grandparents when I was younger during the holidays - the pier wasn't falling into the ocean then, that's how long ago it was since I last came here."
Any happy memories of my grandparents had been tarnished by my Mom, who one day decided it was too much effort to continue visiting, even during their last few years. I still couldn't forgive her for the way she'd aggressively contested their will, when I was named to receive a sum of inheritance, and Poppy, their small beach home and possessions.
"Supposedly, it used to be a real tourist trap, many decades ago before the house prices went up, and neighbouring, better towns put the locals out of business." Noah mused. "Now it's just a nostalgic, washed up town with only it's beaches to keep it from dying out."
"I haven't even been into the sea since I got here." I confessed, looking out at the waves gently hitting the shore, the long stretch of wet sand disappearing into the dark, shadowed coves.
"Really? It's the one perk of living here Scarlett, you've gotta go for a swim at least once this summer." he said, astonished that I hadn't. I liked the way his eyes lit up as he spoke my name.
The appeal of the open, expansive ocean hadn't been lost on me, I just didn't have the energy for it, especially not in my first few weeks when the all consequences of my actions weighed heavy and I couldn't leave my bed.
"I'll try." I nodded, to please him.
Finishing off his milkshake and wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin, Noah joined me in admiring the view before us, our faces reflecting against it with the glare of stark, fluorescent lights that hung above us in the diner.
"You should come with me and the kids, next time you're free, we tend to go a couple a times a week." he suggested. "We go crab fishing in the coves and swim, even the dog tags along."
"You look after them all?" I asked.
"Yes but they're pretty well behaved, so it's not as tough as it sounds." Noah laughed. "Jacob's just turned eight, Lily is ten, Gracie is seventeen so she usually does her own thing and finally there's Max, the mischievous Labradoodle who you'll completely fall in love with."
"I'm impressed." I smiled. "I can barely look after myself, let alone anyone else."
"Like I said, it's an easy gig - sometimes I feel guilty that I'm paid to spend all day out in the sun or in the garden explaining how the solar system works." he smiled, as the waitress approached to clear our table.
When she'd finished and Noah had asked for the bill, he accidently brushed his knee against mine.
"Sorry." we said in unison, my face instantly lighting up like a stop sign.
Noah sat up straight and looked back out the window, allowing me time to regain composure.
I hated how the slightest thing made me blush. It had been that way for as long as I could remember, successfully living up to my name, as if it was chosen as some cruel joke so kids at school could feel clever at calling me Scarlett Face. All my hopes for adulthood to rid me of its burden had failed, because here I was, stilling blushing madly at a perfectly, innocent knee knock.
"So... you want to join our crew one day next week?" Noah said, finally breaking the red-hot silence. "I usually make some food and we head down around noon. You'd be more than welcome."
"Sure." I mumbled, quickly. "Sounds like fun."
"Great."
"Great." I chimed back.
Thankfully, Noah began to shuffle out of the booth, before I could continue my nervous mimic routine, picking up his satchel on the way out. "Man, I could really use some air - it's hot in here right?" His own cheeks reddened.
I nodded, feeling the sweat creep to my lips.
"I'll go grab the bill, seeing as she hasn't bought it over yet and I'll meet you outside." he instructed, without waiting for a reply, casually strolling over to the server station before I could stop him.
I fumbled in my bag for my purse, pulling out spare, crumpled notes, acutely aware that I didn't have enough for my share of the bill.
Sliding across the leather seat, I patted down the backs of my thighs with the last of the napkins and carefully placed Noah's delicate flower into my bag.
Outside, I furiously dug around in the depths of my old clutch bag for loose change. After coming up empty, I rested my back to the cold, metal grates by the doorway. The sea air was now cooler, and it felt soothing against my cheeks as I waited for him.
My fists holding tight the dollar bills, I would insist on him taking, along with an apology for it not being the full amount, I heard the notice bell, chime against the door.
As he stepped outside, I saw that he was carrying two cones, one in each hand, the tops glowing blue like large crystals.
He smiled and carefully passed one across to me, the shaved, coloured ice balancing on top of the cone.
"For you." Noah said coyly, taking a bite of the other.
"You... you didn't have to you know." I stuttered. "Pay for the bill or buy me this." I held up the cone, to give it back. "I can't afford it."
Noah took another deep bite, the ice staining his lips. "Nonsense, it's my treat and the bill's already been settled, so don't worry."
"You shouldn't have to pay for -" as I spoke a large lump of ice fell onto my hand, instantly melting as it ran down.
"Honestly, it's fine." he nodded towards the dollar bills still stuffed in my left palm. "Use it to fix your bike, for a new tire."
"Okay, well thank you." I whispered softly, touched at his thoughtfulness.
"I'll walk you home because Pesmo hasn't quite figured out the modern phenomenon known as 'street lighting' yet." Noah joked, as we turned our backs to the ocean and the diner. The road ahead was dark; with only the glow of porch lights to guide us.
I was thankful to have Noah without question, offer to see me back safely, not that I ever doubted he wouldn't, he was as my grandma would have said in her thick Hispanic accent, a true caballero.
We walked back slowly with Noah pointing up at the stars, trying to explain the different constellations and all their names. I didn't know much about stars, nor had it ever interested me, but the way he softly told me made it new and fascinating.
If this was how he was when he tutored, I could completely understand why they'd chosen him.
With every explanation and quick, knowledgeable fact, Noah's face would light up and it was infectious. If only Science could have always been this fun, I thought as he took my index finger and traced one he called The Great Bear.
"Really, I take for granted just how good this place is to see the stars." he sighed, as we approached the corner of my street. "No nasty light pollution and some of the best constellations are right above us, isn't it amazing?"
It felt like a rhetorical question yet I still nodded in agreement, and counted the last few moments left before we arrived by the bungalows driveway.
The blinds were down, but the yellow light from the kitchen confirmed that Poppy was still up. Moving from view behind the shadows of the tall trees that lined the pavement, Noah stepped in front of me and I could feel my chest tighten, as the gap between us grew smaller.
"It was great to see you this evening Scarlett." he whispered, with hands wrapped around his satchel strap.
"Ditto." I replied, my voice small and lost in anticipation because I knew how these things usually went. I had the past memories of awkward moments spent standing outside on my old front lawn; with boys, whose names I couldn't quite remember, wondering if they wanted to kiss me.
Yet, this couldn't be like those times.
Even though it would have been easy for me, to close the tension between us, to rise up on the tips of my toes and press against him, I wanted his comforting friendship more.
I wanted to talk more.
I wanted to experience more late night walks and stargazing.
I didn't want any fleeting desire to wash that away.
Fighting back every primal urge, I instead offered out my hand and shook his back gently.
"Thank you for dinner." I said as I felt his warm hand in mine. "And for talking to me."
"No problem Scarlett, like I said anytime." Noah replied his brilliant eyes glued to mine.
Fighting back every beat against my chest, I let go and made my way up the stone steps to the porch.
As he walked away, skimming the newly cut lawn, he turned back just as I had begun to twist the key in the lock.
"Beach, next week." Noah whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.
As the door gave way, I gave him a thumbs up and stepped inside. The harsh realization hitting me as I closed the door behind, because being back in the bungalow meant accepting the reality that my night with Noah was now, over.
And it sucked.
As I kicked off my sticky trainers, and scrapped back my hair I saw Poppy clearing away dishes, the small dining room table still lit by candlelight.
"Hey." I smiled, hoping that she would be in a good mood, and that she'd be too tired or tipsy to hassle me with questions.
Spinning around, a glass of wine in hand, Poppy looked startled. She quickly put it down and wiped her hands against a cloth on the counter, fixing up her hair that was noticeably messier than when I'd left. The smudged, red lipstick round the edges of her mouth told me more than I needed to know.
I knew better than to prod her for any specifics, and so I quickly passed by and told her I was tired and going to bed.
"Okay my love." she called back, the kindness in her voice almost knocking me off my feet.
Oblivious to me, peering behind the door frame, Poppy spun around the living room, plumping up cushions and brushing crumbs off the coffee table.
It was surreal to see her like that.
Cheerful and carefree, like her tightly wound strings had been cut loose.
It was mesmerizing.
Lost in the moment, my whole body jumped when she looked up at me, a seldom seen smile etched across her lips.
"There's some wine left on the counter for you." Poppy cooed, with a wink.
"Thanks." I mouthed back, my voice lost from the shock.
I slipped away before it could get any weirder, and before I said anything that might lift whatever spell, she was clearly under.
One that I secretly hoped would last past the night.
Because this was the Poppy I had been wishing for, all of my life.
. . .
Only when Poppy slammed her door shut, the light from her windows snuffed out and only when I'd counted to one hundred, did I venture out of my room to snag the bottle of red she had so kindly left for me.
I couldn't sleep, because my mind was high on the night's events.
I snuck out, light as feather as I moved down the hallway towards the kitchen. Taking the bottle and grabbing a blanket, I quietly unlocked the back door and slowly sat down on the wooden porch.
Wrapping the patchwork blanket around my bare shoulders and legs I let the smooth, familiar and oh so delectable nectar hit the back of my throat.
In my pyjama pocket, I pulled out the cigarette I'd saved from the day I'd decided to quit, but had still kept, just in case. Like all good addicts did.
Striking the match, I lit the end and took a long, hard drag, watching the wisps of white smoke dance up towards the night sky.
All was still, and all was quiet, as I marvelled at the stars, as Noah had done only a few hours before.
Tracing the same bright constellations with the end of the cigarette, I closed my eyes as tight as I could and I made a wish.
. . .