Cringe warning.
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Even though I was really sick, I didn't think I was going to die. I had a wife, Courtney, a son named Jude, and a successful music career in a band called for KING & COUNTRY. And even though I had gone to the hospital countless times, lost a ton of weight, and had been forced to stay home from tour, I still felt like this was something as "small" as the flu. But my wife changed that.
It was a mild evening. It was warm, but breezy. Courtney sat next to me on the bench on the front porch, her hair flying in the wind. I was complaining about having to miss tour when she suddenly turned to me. There were tears her eyes.
"Luke,"she said,"You can't leave me."
"What?"I asked.
"You can't die."
I didn't know what to say. Being in my twenties, I really didn't expect this. But there was Courtney, right in front of me, crying and begging me not to die because of a stupid illness.
"Oh...okay? Court, I'm gonna be fine-"
"No, you're not!"Courtney sobbed. "The doctors said you-you might die. Please...I can't live without you."
When I looked into her sweet brown eyes, I saw fear. And that's when realization hit me. I realized I might not live to Jude's next birthday, our next wedding anniversary, or to another show. Heck, I might not even live to another day.
I think that's what really helped me battle my illness. I was determined to stay by my wife's side. She'd already been through enough in her childhood-teenage years. I wasn't going to add my death to the list.
And I survived. I got better, wrote a bunch of songs about my illness (including a duet with my darling), and released an album called Run Wild. Live Free. Love Strong. with my brother and the rest of the band (whose names I can't list out because there are too many).
I learned a lot of things, like what it's like to be stuck in the hospital (not that great, but there are worse), and how Jude likes it when you comb his hair (I don't know why). I also learned just how much my wife needed me and just how much I loved her. And we both learned that we couldn't live without each other-and Jesus.