Park Jimin's POV
"Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking uㅡ OUCH! WHAT THE HELL, DUDE?!" Jungkook glared at me while holding his head where the pillow that I threw landed. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and drank my half empty glass of orange juice through.
They all stayed in the house to hang, noㅡ to actually ask updates about how Jiwon and I are turning out and I mentioned that I told Jiwon that I won't give up that's why Jungkook was singing.
"Are you really not going to give up? Jimin, she already said no for like a million times already," Namjoon said. I siged and nodded. That's how much my feelings are for her. I couldn't allow myself to stop chasing her without her giving us a try. I sound desperate, I know, but I know to myself that I'd like her to be my first girlfriendㅡ a serious relationship, even excluding sexual intercourse until we get married if ever.
I just don't want to give up. Somehow, I can see a hope that she can return what I feel about her but she is stopping herself for one reason which is kept hidden and I believe it is connected to what she is saying that I don't know her well enough.
"Tsk tsk, Cupid's arrow hit you hard, didn't it?" Yoongi asked, chuckling and shaking his head. I nodded and shrugged at the same time. I guess I was shot really hard because what I feel for her is really strong and it became even stronger after we became friends.
"Okay, you won't give up, but be sensitive enough and know when you really just have to stop and give up. You can't pursue someone forever, Jimin." Yoongi tapped my shoulder.
"Yoongi is right," agreed Jin, making me look at him who was sitted opposite to me. "We're happy to know that you've found the girl that you really like but life doesn't go like how you want it. If that time comes where she's had enough of you asking her out, just let her go and accept that you and Jiwon aren't for each other," Jin added. All I could do was sigh and nod. They're right. People don't always get what they want.
"Cheer up, mate!" Hoseok sat beside me, placing his arm on my shoulders. I haven't noticed that he's already done with his call on the phone. "I have a gift for you," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"Tonight, dress up as good as you can and make sure you smell fucking good because, boy, I got you a private show to Iris!" He winked at me after.
"WHAT?!" The five boys reacted. "I FUCKING WANNA JOIN!" Namjoon shouted and followed the complaints and wants and agreements of the others.
"Relax, guys! Let's give this moment to our precious Chim Chim to set his mind off of Jiwon for a night. He needs it."
"Butㅡ" Taehyung tried to complain but Hoseok threw a pillow on his face. "Shh, you're not heart broken so shut your big mouth."
"Wow, coming from you, loud mouth?" Taehyung rolled his eyes then in just a blink of an eye, both of them were already running around the house like little kids.
All of us about to leave my house to attend classes, I fixed myself and made sure that I look presentable. I should be, because even though I told her those words that night and I know that she'll keep herself distant from me, I still have to maintain my looks because probably, it can change her mind. I am not saying that Jiwon goes for the looks, but probably she'll see the bonus of having me in her life.
I cannot understand what she's saying. Why can't I accept her? Is she thinking that I couldn't accept her because she's not rich? Well, fuck that. I see her as a very worthy woman.
She keeps on saying that I don't know the real her. How can I when she couldn't tell me? What is it really that she's hiding? Is it really that bad? Perhaps, is she a criminal? No, I doubt. She's very intelligent that I doubt she'll ever do a crime for money because if so, she would have been rich by now.
It's been a few days since I last talked to her; the day after that night, but it was all about our project. Like a spy watching over a suspect, four tables away from her with a book covering my face, I silently and secretly watched her study. The way she licked and bit her lips and shut her eyes tight as she piled in informations in her head, the way she tucked her soft and silky hair behind her ears; I just felt as if the world slowed down while watching her. Her glowing beauty that I would never get tired of admiring makes my heart beat abnormally. Gosh, what are you doing to me, Jiwon?
Never have I ever thought that liking someone could make me feel burden on my chest. Supposedly, happiness is what I should feel, but having to meet Jiwon, I was wrong. It is part pain and part happiness. I like her to the point that I want her in my life and I am damn serious about it. I know, I couldn't, that I should stop, but I want to try. I won't stop pursuing her until she finally finds that person who she thinks is more worthy than I am. The pain makes it difficult for me to breathe, that everytime realizations hit me, I'd blankly stare at the ceiling of my room.
Oh God, how do I have her?
I've been struggling of how I feel. Those around me wouldn't understand. They support me, yeah sure, but it's not as easy as how their advices escape from their mouth. They would never understand me unless they put themselves on my feet.
"I'm such a fat loser for not having Jiwon. Gosh, I'm so ugly. If only I was handsome like Jin, I'd probably have her by now."
Weirdly staring at him, he gave me a smile as if his innocent. "Jin, seriously?"
He chuckled. "Yah, if Jiwon was an ice cream, she's already melted by now. Tsk, tsk." He shook his head. "Here, have this sandwich." He handed me a sandwich wrapped in a tissue paper.
"I'm not hungry." I averted my gaze on him and put my chin in the palm of my hand, again, staring at Jiwon.
"Tch. Don't let yourself die of hunger, idiot. No one is stopping you from being a stupid martyr but if it means killing yourself slowly, I'd be the first person to stop you and keep you away from Jiwon."
I rolled my eyes in annoyance and opened the sandwich to eat it. He smiled sweetly after seeing me have a bite, making me secretly roll my eyes again.
Eating isn't allowed here inside the library but who cares? It's not allowed if you're gonna get caught. #StudentLifeTipsFromJiminOppa
My last subject ended at six in the evening today and I am currently bored while sitting on my chair, waiting for dismissal. I honestly don't feel much excited to finally have a show to Iris even though Hoseok got me 15 minutes to enjoy. I just don't feel the fire like the way it was before. The burning lust when I just hear or think of something about her had disappeared. My brain is just really occupied of Jiwon and her alone.
"Class dismissed," my professor finally announced. Lazily, I fixed my things but catched Jiwon rushing her way out of the room. She must be rushing to go home to take care of her brother and rest before she goes to work.
Come to think of it, she hasn't mentioned what her work is? Does that perhaps relate to what she's telling me as a reason to stop pursuing her?
I sighed in frustration, slumping down the seat of my car. Closing the door, I sighed once more. Should I just give the show to Namjoon or Taehyung? I honestly don't feel like going out tonight. But it'll be rude for me to decline the 'gift' that Hoseok gave me.
Tch. Fine, I'll go then leave afterwards immediately.
***
Loud music from inside the club, smokes and neon lights surrounding the establishment, I headed my way inside going to the counter and to claim my show to Iris. I'm an hour early, but having to at least drink my problems away just for tonight sounds very inviting and so I decide to drink while waiting for the time to strike nine in the evening.
My eyes scanning the four corners of the club, my eyes landed to a familiar figure of a woman's back, rushing her way to somewhere. Shutting my eyes tightly and opening them again, she was gone. Could that be the alcohol taking part of my senses? Why is Jiwon here? I shook my head. I might just be hallucinating because of the alcohol that my body has consumed.
Time passed by quickly. With my hands inside the pockets of my jeans, I walked my way down the hallway going to the VIP room where I'll finally have the awaited dance from her. I've been dreaming of this to come true but in this moment that it's already happening, I just cannot find myself to get excited about this. I lost interest in her.
Patiently waiting for her arrival, I unzipped my denim jacket and closed my eyes. A few seconds then, a slow and arousing music filled the room as well as a very sweet and strong scent of vanilla. I opened my eyes slowly and saw her before me, about two meters away from me as she swayed her hips sensually, her perfectly round ass suddenly firing me up. My body tensed from the heat, aroused indeniably from her.
I'm a man, and there exists a fact that I fancy her even if I'm all into Jiwon.
Her movements as if a spell that was made for me to only focus on her, I found myself breathing heavily and dampening my lips often as I eyed her figure. Fuck, she's so hot. No wonder why she's the best selling stripper and that most of the men here craves for her, even I.
I heard she isn't part of this clubs prostitutes and it is easily identified if the stripper leaves the room after dancing. No drinking or talking with her and I heard that Iris is the most conservative around her clients.
But she is just really something. Like the most expensive food that you'd want to have a taste at least once in your life; at least once in my life. But that was only until my feelings for Jiwon became deep.
Speaking of Jiwon, I rapidly blinked my eyes for a fews times and noticed Iris' lingeries. A memory of Jiwon wearing my sister's product flashes in my memory.
Wait? No. She's notㅡ this couldn't be. Maybe they just have the same lingerie. Yeah, that's it.
She faced me and she's still dancing sensually as her hands traveled around her body, touching her skin but her hair covers mostly her face. She won't even look at me straight in the eyes unlike that night where she talked to me when I was drinking but I could say that she looks familiar... her facial structure looks familiar.
The heat has left my body, but my gazes may seem to be intimidating from her point of view since I couldn't stop but to stare at her intently, waiting for her to show her face. Unlike outside, it's brighter and there's no distraction of flashing disco and neon lights inside the rooms where they do private shows, allowing me to see her face clearer. This is the first time and I could say that she looks some how like...
"Jiwon?" I finally said after her hair went out of the view from her position, making me see her whole face clearly.
Far from the Jiwon I see in school, from the Jiwon I know, this Jiwon has dark make up on her face; so dark and heavy that it is almost hard to recognize her which somehow explains why I never really thought of Iris and her being alike when I see her.
I stood up and removed my jacket to cover her almost naked figure but she immediately stood up from her squating position. She tried to escape from me but I caught her wrist, preventing her from coming out.
"Let me go," she said sternly and bowed her head down. Using my other hand, I lifted up her face and stared at it even if she tried to release herself from my hold.
My eyes wouldn't leave her face as my brain tried to process the newly unlocked truth. As much as I tried to convince myself that I was just seeing things because of the alcohol's effect in my system, it still hadn't changed anything.
"I- this- you- Jiwonㅡ" stuttering since I could not find the right words to utter, still shocked from what I was seeing, I ended up choosing to seal my mouth and just stare at her eyes full of different emotions; shame, anger, and sadness. She's shaking and she also looks like she's on the verge of crying but her face remains cold; impassive. I just can't find the right words to say to her. I'm fully shocked.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes tightly. As she opened them again, with her teeth gritted, coldly and sternly, she said, "Yes, Jimin. I am Iris and I'm a stripper."