It's almost been a year since I told him. It's almost been 7 months since I've seen him, but I can't help but think of him every week I don't see him.
Why doesn't the guy I like think about me the same way I think about him? We weren't in a love triangle. It should be easier now; I don't know what's standing in the way.
I'm the girl that's like any other teenage girl, so why don't I have a guy?
I'm I just too normal?
Hi. I'm the girl of his dreams, and this is my almost love story.
You know those crushes that seem like small ones, but over time progress into something special, so you get butterflies about the person even though your not with him? Well, this is the story of mine.
We met in the 7th grade at swim practice, but we didn't really talk much. We would tell each other good luck before our events, so we didn't know each other well. He seemed like one of the small crushes any other 12 year old girl would have. He seemed kind, caring, and gentle.
During the 8th grade, we saw less of each other during swim, which made me want to see him more. I started to see he meant more to me.
In the 9th grade, my younger friend became friends with him, and she seemed to like him too. He and I still saw less of each other that year, but we still told each other good luck.
The interaction we had in the 10th grade was the same as the 9th, but my friend got to have a little more time with him than I had before. Although, it was the first time he and I had been in a normal setting.
9 months go by. It was our Junior year of high school, and to my surprise, he changed schools. I'd got to see him more, but my friend did too. The first day of school, he sat with me at the cafeteria table, mainly because he didn't see anyone else he know. We talked, but I can feel myself not keep eye contact with him. He sat by me more days, and on the days he didn't I realized I was disappointed.
During the first month of school, I could tell he was happy at school, but he seemed to like other girls, including my friend. As the 11th grader I was, I started to 2nd guess if he were flirting with girls or just being the good guy he had always been.
In English, he seemed to talk to me every chance he could get, he even walked to that class with me. I didn't see him do that with other girls. When we had to go to the library to work of computers, he sat next to me, he discussed silly and different music with me, he wanted me to listen to his favorite song, and talked to me when the teacher told us to be quiet. During one of our times to go to the library, he asked, "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" In my head, I was thinking "Did he REALLY just ask me that?"
I tried to not show that he almost made me have a stoke and said, "Um no."
Then he really surprised me by asking, "Do you have a crush on someone?"
I blushed as my eyes darted around, and I said, "Well yea." I hoped he wouldn't realize I like him because my friend liked him, and I didn't want to interfere. But why was he so curious?
When he asked me who, I avoided the question. I never gave an answer. I secretly hoped he could see through the wall I was putting up.
Months went by, and most days I saw him in the morning. When I saw him in the corner of my eye going to our English class, I waited until he saw me to walk to class with me. I didn't want to be in a love triangle or hurt someone I cared about, but I couldn't help but hope he would force me to change my mind.
One day in English, a substitute teacher let everyone sit where they wanted to because we were watching movies. I wanted to sit by him, as the movie started I see him move into the empty seat next to me. He could have stayed by his guy friends, but he wanted to sit next to me. I was nervous, so I didn't completely turn towards him. He still made conversation though, and he asked me for my number with a little hesitation. He said it was because my number was the only one he didn't have from the people on the swim team.
After the movie was paused and everyone was waiting for the bell to ring to end the school day, he asked, "hey, who do you have a crush on?"
I was stunned that he asked again, and I said the first goofy thing that came to mind,"Curiosity killed the cat." The bell rings, and we leave the class together and talk as we leave the school building.
About a week later, he asked again, but I just looked at him like, "you really think I'm going to tell you."
He said, "I know curiosity killed the cat, but I don't wanna die." 1st of all, what does that even mean. 2nd he remembered what I said from the week before. 3rd if he didn't care who I liked, then why ask?
Personally, if I had said something like that, it would have been to a crush because I get nervous and say thinks that don't make sense. Him saying that sentence of nonsense gave me more hope. More hope that he could have felt the same way about me.
Months went by, and we were walking to class a little less, but my crush had gotten stronger. He had became a little friendlier at practice; he had seemed to respect me as a swimmer.
As the year changed, I got to see him in Math, but we didn't talk as much as we used to. Almost every day, he sat next to me at lunch, every time we accidentally touched I had hoped no one could see me jump a little because I wanted to be closer.
That year, I started to notice more and more that my morals meant something to me. One specific day in class, he showed where his moral lie, and I was overjoyed to hear that he believes the same as me.
One day in the library, during our English work, we talked a little. Towards the end of class, he asked, "Who do you have a crush on?"
I blushed and felt my face turn into the same color as a tomato. I got up the courage to ask, "Why do you keep asking me that?"
Like I said before, I personally say things that are a little goofy around my crush, so I expect people to do the same thing. He said, "It is a good conversation starter." I don't know what on earth that seemed like a conversation starter to him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
A week before, I thought to myself about him asking me again, and I thought I'd deflect by saying, "What's your favorite dorito?" So I asked him that, and I secretly hoped he could tell that he made me nervous because I didn't feel like I could tell him.
The rest of the year, we saw less and less of each other, but I still saw him a couple times a week in the morning. I always wanted be see him in English. He always had the cutest laugh, I couldn't help but look over at him when a joke was made in class because I wanted to hear his cute laugh.
Before I knew it, it was our Senior year of High School, and I hoped I'd get to see him as much if not more than I did the year before. But we barely saw each other at school. We never had the same alone time like the year before, he seemed less interested in me. He didn't seem as eager to be at least my friend.
Luckily, he realized he needed a ride to swim that year, so he came over to my house every day. We talked, but I was nervous because we were completely alone. I didn't want to mess anything up. He talked about music with me, he played with my dog, he seemed to enjoy being at my house.
One day he said, "Mary I heard one of your friends says you have a crush on me." He heard that from one of my friends a whole year ago, but he waited until we were completely alone to ask me that. I guess to a guy that makes sense, but for me I couldn't have thought of anything scarier to hear.
I quickly said, "Oh that's interesting. I wonder why. If they see me talking to any male they just assume I'm in love with them. So that's probably what that was." After I said the most stupid thing I've said in my life, my face felt so red. I felt like I was blushing from head to toe, he was closer to me. I fake cleaned a cup, trying to act unphased by what he asked me.
I was so scared; I don't know what I was exactly scared of. I think I didn't want him to kiss me because I didn't want to change anything in my life. He probably wouldn't have kissed me, but he felt so close I could feel that his body was close to mind.
So I basically said, "'No' to my crush when he basically asked if I liked him."
A few months later, I finally told him I liked him, but it was over text. To my surprise he said, he didn't like me back.
It's been about a year since that happened, but my friend got a text from him the other day. They talked a little, but her crush was over. She had just gotten a boyfriend.
When he asked why she didn't do anything about her crush on him years ago, she told him it was because she had a friend who had a crush on him. He knew she was talking about me, but his reasoning that he told her for why he didn't like me like that still doesn't make sense to me.
He said, they have more in common than he and I did, but she and I don't understand what he could be talking about because she and I are alike. Does he think I was raised with silver spoon in my mouth? Meaning that I never had struggles in my life. He also said conversation flowed better, and he can't read signs. I have to assume he means I couldn't keep eye contact, but I only can't keep eye contact when I like a guy. When I'm not attracted to a guy at all, I can easily look them in the eye, and if I do look those I am attracted to in the eye for too long, I blush uncontrollably.
Could he have had a crush on me?
Did I break his heart by kind of rejecting him? Is that y he rejected me?
What would he have said/done in the moment when he asked me if I had said yes?
How could this story end?
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Author's Note:
I hope you like this story.
What do you think?
Could they be anything?
Would you ship the narrator and the guy?
What are your answers to her question?
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