I left for Illéa quietly in the morning, just as the dawn was beginning to light up the sky. Salvatore was already in New Asia, likely having the time of his life with Liev and the other royals, and the rest of my cousins were sleeping or in Swendway with their parents or France with my mother. None of the guards or servants spoke much to me, possibly due to the dark mood I was in; regardless of how I felt about the Illéans now, I was in no great rush to return to their gilded cage. Part of me feared for the worst: that I would return and they would trap me by marriage or some other means, and I'd never be free again. It was not a prospect that I was willing to entertain.
As soon as I arrived, I learned that perhaps I wouldn't have to worry at all about any potential plots that could have been underfoot: the king had fallen ill the week before my arrival and was bedridden. The queen and Aquia were constantly by his side and helping to tend to him, and so it had fallen to Alexander to run the country while Mason was going between Germany, France, and Swendway to renegotiate some trade agreements and various treaties, a job that normally would have fallen to Alexander or the king himself. I was whisked away to a room that I recognized as having once been used during the Selection; the decor had changed, but the room itself felt familiar. So were the three women in it.
Jasmine, Opal, and Glory – my maids from the Selection – let out yells of delight and raced forward to hug me. I embraced them all, laughing, and for a moment we were three former friends that hadn't seen each other in years rather than a princess and three maids. They then recalled their station and dropped back into curtsies, but I laughingly waved them off. "There's no point in all of that," I told them, "you've known me for how long?"
"Yes, Miss," Jasmine said, "but you're no longer one of the Selected. You're a visiting princess here on diplomatic duties. We must be formal."
I smiled. "Only when others are around. You know how I feel about all of that formality. It's exhausting."
Opal giggled. "We remember, Miss. It was quite an adjustment."
We all laughed. I spent a while catching up with them; I hadn't realized how much I missed them until then. I'd forgotten how much better they made my time in Angeles, and as we sat on my bed and talked, I made a mental note to keep in touch with them after I returned to Italy.
☼
Alexander was in a different office than his old one when I was sent to visit him the following day. This one was grander, with a softer carpet and fancier furniture and more windows. The curtains were all open, letting in golden sunlight. The light was hitting everything in a way that made it look like it was glowing, everything as bright as the cottage that first day. I didn't notice it then.
Alexander himself was standing behind his desk, chair pushed aside behind him. His hands were braced on the wooden desk, and he stood hunched over the papers spread out and studied them with several faint creases between his eyebrows. In spite of all of the stress he was most certainly under, gone were the dark smudges beneath his eyes and the paleness just under the surface of his skin; he looked healthier than I'd ever seen him.
As soon as I stepped into the office, I felt out of place – I no longer belonged here. Gone was quiet Cassiana that wore comparatively modest gowns and tried not to rock the boat, and in her place stood...well, me. Cassiana the Italian princess, the diplomat, the one whose job was literally to argue things and stir up shit to make actual progress. I folded my arms over my chest; my gown wasn't immodest, but it certainly wasn't something that I would've worn back when I was in the Selection, and it showed a lot more cleavage than I had ever shown here.
It was the door shutting behind me that pulled him out of whatever budget he was going over, and his movements were slow as he moved his head to look up at me. For a moment, he said nothing and looked over me like he hadn't seen me in years. Then, he straightened and said, "Princess Cassiana, it's a pleasure to see you again." He moved from behind his desk and offered me his hand.
"The pleasure's all mine, Prince Alexander," I replied coolly, taking his hand. I expected to shake it, but he half-surprised me by kissing the knuckles instead (it really didn't actually surprise me at this point, but I really disliked it; handshaking was much less awkward). My face flushed, and it was yet another thing that took me back to the Selection – I hadn't felt so flustered and hadn't blushed like that since everything fell apart. It was such a weird feeling.
Alexander caught this and smiled. I wasn't expecting him to acknowledge it, but he completely broke diplomatic protocol and reached up to tuck some loose hair behind my ear, fingertips trailing across my uncomfortably warm skin. "I'd nearly forgotten how cute you are when you blush," he said. His fingers were still touching my face. "I'd come so close to forgetting it that I hadn't even known to miss it." He stayed that way for a second longer; I watched him swallow hard before withdrawing and turning away. He moved back to stand behind his desk and started shuffling around papers. "So you're here to discuss trade agreements?"
The conversation was so different from whatever the hell he'd just said that it felt like my head was spinning. "As far as I know, yes."
He nodded slowly. "I would assume you're here to renegotiate them so that our interactions are less."
"More, actually," I corrected him. "Opinions on your domestic policy and the way that you handle some of your foreign policies aside, Italy and Illéa have a long history of trade that is mutually beneficial. We'd like to renegotiate our current agreements so that our trade is more open with Illéa."
He watched me with half-narrowed eyes for a heartbeat. "Let's not put up any pretenses here, L-Princess Cassiana, our economy isn't exactly the best and our relations with Italy have been strained at best recently. What's the motivation behind this change of heart?"
I took a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. "Can't we just be interested in a better trade agreement that's mutually beneficial?" I asked innocently. "By opening trade more, it will improve both of our economies."
"Surely the Royal Family isn't doing this out of the goodness of their hearts," Alexander said sourly, "it's not like they have much of it left for my family or this country. What's the real reason?" He folded his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at me. It was such an Alexander expression that it made my heart hurt a little.
I shrugged. "Maybe we've had a change of heart."
"Doubtful. You do realize that you're not going to convince me of this, right? I know you, Princess Cassiana, and you're not exactly the type to advocate something without having several bulletproof reasons for it."
"We're hoping that the improvement of your economy will end some of the domestic tensions in the country, human trafficking problem included," I said. "Happy?"
"Not quite. What makes Italy so interested in our domestic affairs?"
"Give me a good reason for us not to be. Illéa is a large country – bigger than even Russia. You hold a lot of influence in international politics, and to make it worse, it's no secret that you have plenty of domestic turmoil."
"Domestic turmoil," he snorted, "like every other country knows what's going on in Illéa."
I leaned forward a little. "How are those rebels doing, Alexander? And the human trafficking rings, now that there's no one to keep them under control?" He said nothing, and I sat back. "That's what I thought. Everyone knows, Alexander. It's definitely not a secret. You can hide it from your own people, but you can't hide it from the rest of us."
"Again, I don't understand your interest in our domestic troubles."
"A human trafficking problem is a human rights problem, which makes it everyone else's concern as well as yours. And the rebels mean an attempted coup at some point, even if it isn't in our lifetime. A coup could mean a fascist regime or a communist one, and we want neither in such a powerful country. It would greatly upset the global power balance and cause issues across the board in every country. We're trying to avoid that."
"So you're meddling."
"Historically, you've done far worse. And you know it."
He let out a sigh. "I can't argue with that." He shook his head and then checked his watch. "So you want more trade opportunities."
I nodded. "That's the hope."
He ran his hands through his hair and over his face. "Well, you've picked a really terrible time to negotiate all of this. Everything is hitting the fan this week."
"No offense, but you really shouldn't be admitting that to a foreign diplomat."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Fair point," he said. "I keep looking at you and seeing...never mind."
"What?"
He shook his head and looked down at the papers on his desk. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
"No, tell me." I stood up slowly. "What were you going to say?"
"Nothing."
"Alexander..."
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
I moved forward without thinking, standing directly in front of his desk. "You can tell me," I said. "You know that, right?"
"Can I? You are a foreign diplomat."
I laughed. I couldn't help it; it was so reminiscent of our old banter that I didn't know what else to do. "Forget about that for a few minutes," I said. "It wasn't that hard a few minutes ago for you to do it."
He looked at me for a moment and then shook his head. "It's stupid."
"So?"
"So I'm not telling you."
"You can."
"I won't."
"You should."
"Still won't."
"Why not?"
"It's stupid." He smiled at me. "Maybe I'll tell you some other time."
"You better. I'll hold you to it."
"I know you will." He smiled down at the top of the desk.
There was a knock on the door, and someone leaned in. It was a Guard. "Your Highness, your father's advisors are waiting for you."
Alexander checked his watch and let out a sigh. "We'll continue this discussion at a later date." He turned to the Guard. "Please escort Princess Cassiana to wherever it is she'd like to go." He grabbed his jacket from the chair and tugged it on, and I left the room with the Guard. I started following him down the hall, and when I turned to look over my shoulder, Alexander was leaving his office. He looked more like a king than ever, and I had a strange, unfamiliar feeling in my chest. I half-wondered what it was.