I was sitting on the steps during my free period, leaning against the wall with my notepad in my hands, but not being able to calm down my racing mind enough to start drawing.
After a while I turned to look at Harry, that was sitting in front of me, looking towards the street in silence. "Harry?" I called him, and he turned his head to look at me, silently waiting for me to say what I wanted to say. I pressed my lips together, letting my gaze fall on the pavement a couple of steps away from us, trying to find a good way to ask what I'd been wondering for the past few days. I sighed, realising that there truly wasn't a better way to ask something like that, and started playing nervously with the hem of my shirt, not daring to look up as I spoke. "Why did you take drugs?" I looked at him from the corner of my eye, imperceptibly turning my head in his direction.
He looked down, pursing his lips, not saying anything for a few seconds, and I started playing with the corner of my notepad, briefly wondering if he would've replied at all.
All of sudden he stood up, going down the couple of steps that separated us from the pavement. "Come with me" he said in a faint sigh, and I looked up at him.
"Where?" I asked him curiously, the realisation of how willingly I was considering the idea of skipping the rest of the school day striking me and concerning me to no end. Just a few months before I would've never done such a thing, but it was quite clear that I no longer was the person I used to be.
He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "Do you really need to know?"
I bit my lower lip, a hint of mischievousness washing through me, just enough for me to take my decision, fast so that I wouldn't have had time to rethink it. "Not really" I replied, standing up and swinging the strap of my bag over my shoulder, putting my notepad and the small pencil back into the pocket of my warm coat.
"Good" he said lowly, the corners of his lips turning up almost imperceptibly. "Let's go."
I followed him, furrowing my eyebrows when we surpassed the car park. "I thought we were gonna use your car?" I asked, fastening my pace to keep up with Harry's fast step.
He shook his head. "Not today" he replied, a hint of something I didn't quite catch in his voice as he gave me an apprehensive look.
I silenced myself for a while, looking down as I often did while walking, wondering what was going through Harry's mind in that moment. Was it his way not to answer to my question without making it obvious? And where did he want to go? From how fast he was walking, it was obvious that he had a very clear idea of where he wanted to go, which confused me even more. Had he planned it beforehand, or was it a last minute decision? And if he'd decided what to do in those twenty seconds of silence, where did it come from?
I was that distracted that I didn't even notice he'd stopped walking until I almost crashed against him. I managed to catch myself in the last second, moving to stand next to him instead. I looked up, realising that we were at a bus stop. "Why are we here?" I asked curiously, a little frown on my face.
"We're taking a bus" he just replied, giving me a side glance. "Are you cold?"
I shook my head, burying my hands in the depths of my pockets, wrapping my fingers around the pencil I found, lightly pressing its tip against my thumb to prove myself that situation was truly happening.
A bus arrived, and we stepped in, Harry's hand finding its way on my lower back almost automatically.
"Go find somewhere to sit" he whispered into my ear, slightly pushing me forward.
I walked forward, spotting a couple of free seats next to each other and sitting on the one next to the window, looking at Harry and widening my eyes when I realised he was paying for the bus tickets. Before I could even think of standing up and going to him, he thanked the driver and walked towards me, sitting down next to me and giving me a ticket.
"You didn't have to buy mine too" I whispered to him. "I could've paid for it myself."
He shrugged. "I didn't mind." He looked past me and out of the window, in silence for a couple of seconds. "Are you hungry?"
I bit my lower lip, thinking about the question. It was ten past twelve, and I usually ate an hour or so later than that, but I supposed I could eat a bit earlier than usual, considering that it was pretty obvious that day wouldn't have gone by like usual. "Sure" I replied.
He nodded. "Alright." He gave another glance outside, before standing up and inviting me to do the same. "Come on" he said, pressing on the button and waiting for the bus to stop before getting off, turning around and waiting for me to do the same.
I got off too, closing my coat fast when a sudden cold wind blew through the streets. "Where are we?" I asked, not recognising the buildings around me. I would've got concerned if it wasn't that I rarely got out of my house, so I didn't know the majority of my city. For all I knew, we could've been a couple of streets away from my house.
"Somewhere" he replied, a hint of mischievousness in his voice as he started walking with me by his side.
My heart skipped a beat when, a couple of seconds after, I felt the slight pressure of Harry's fingers against my hip. I tried my best not to snuggle into his coat and drown in his scent, and kept walking, pretending to be completely untouched by how close we were. The truth was, I could've felt him next to me even if his arm hadn't been around my waist, his presence sparkling through me like a firecracker.
"Why won't you tell me?" I asked him, leaning against his side just a tiny bit as we walked.
"Why do you want to know?" He asked back, completely avoiding my question, his fingers squeezing my side just a bit tighter.
I looked at the street we were walking on, in search of clues that could tell me where we were. It was big, with shops on each side, which made me suppose that we were in the city centre. "If you take me somewhere weird I'll never trust you again" I deadpanned.
He let out a little chuckle. "You never trusted me in the first place, Sierra."
I widened my eyes at the bluntness of his words, that took a few seconds to sink in. Once they did, I couldn't help but realise how accurate they truly were. "That's... actually true" I said, surprise held in my voice.
All of sudden he opened a glass door, making the little bell above it dangle quietly. I looked inside, realising that we'd just walked into some kind of fast food, a really homey feeling to it.
"Have you already been here?" I asked, taking a better look around, and he nodded.
"I hope you like fish and chips, because there isn't much else here" he said, making sure that the queue wasn't too long before turning to look at me.
I opened my coat, starting to feel the warmth of the place. "I do."
"Find somewhere to sit, then" he said, and I gave him a little glance, about to complain about not wanting him to pay for my lunch too. "It was my idea, I'm paying" he added predicting my words, his tone firm enough for me to know that he wouldn't have changed his mind.
I sighed, and went to sit at a small table in the corner and in front of the large window, taking off my coat and putting it on the back of the chair before sitting down, leaning my head on my hand and looking outside. I couldn't resist but checking my phone, the time telling me that my art class had probably just started. I looked out again with a little smile on my lips, enjoying the feeling of carelessness that pervaded me at the realisation that I had, indeed, skipped my last classes for the second time in my life. There was something of so liberating in not doing what I was supposed to do for once, in not having to worry about people wondering where I was. It almost felt like a little adventure, secluded in the small amount of hours held in a day. For once, I didn't really feel like myself, but like someone freer, that didn't have to worry about anything and anyone. That's what being around Harry did to me, and I couldn't help but love it and hate it at the same time. I hated it, because I felt like I wasn't truly acting like myself, but I loved it, because it made me feel like I was discovering a side of me that I didn't even truly know existed.
Out of the window, some darkened leaves were being blown away by the wind, creating an interesting contrast to the shops on the other side of the street. The sun was there, but pale, making the top of the glass shine in my eyes of a yellowish, almost silvery light.
All of sudden, I felt the need to preserve that moment, to make sure I had something to remember it by. I didn't know why, we weren't on a date in some fancy restaurant, to be honest, we weren't even on a date at all, we'd just stumbled upon that place after having taken a series of random decisions out of nowhere. If someone had asked me to list all the things that made that place perfect, I would've probably said none, but somehow, all together, they did make it the most perfect place I could've been at in that moment. I didn't know if it was the light or the magic of the situation, or even, the promise of Harry's presence, but I couldn't deny the way I was feeling.
I looked down and reached inside my pocket for my notepad, taking it out and opening it on a new page. I looked up again, trying to understand what exactly I wanted to remember, and then I grasped my pencil, starting to sketch. I sketched the rough rectangle of the window, the name of the place we were in on it backwards, the shops outside and the crumpled up leaves being swept away by the wind. I did it fast, putting down only the to me most important details, the ones I couldn't absolutely forget, essential to make sure the scene would've remained etched - if not in my mind, on the paper sheet for sure.
All of sudden I heard a sound and looked up, realising that Harry had arrived, two plastic dishes of fish and chips on the table. I looked as he took off his coat as well, draping it over the chair before sitting down. "I see I managed to spark your creativity" he said, glancing at the notepad between us.
I blushed, closing it fast and hiding it away, taking the dish and starting to munch on one of the chips, letting my eyes drift over Harry's figure, that was sitting right in front of me. "Do you skip classes often?" I asked all of sudden, and he moved his attention from out of the window to me.
"Not really, Niall would tell on me if I did" he replied calmly. "To his mother, I mean" he added, realising how that could've sounded.
I frowned. "Why would he? That's not really nice."
"It's complicated" he said with a sigh. "I had a lot of bad habits when I was younger. He's scared I might... go back to them."
I gave him a little nod, even though I had no clue of what he was talking about. I took a bite of the fish, widening my eyes when it burnt my tongue. I breathed in sharply, but slowly, between my teeth, before taking my glass of water as composedly as possible under Harry's stare, not wanting to jump to drink in front of him.
He didn't say anything at the whole thing, but the little smile that formed on his lips told me that he wasn't as oblivious to what had just happened as I would've liked him to be. "Do you skip often?" He asked after a while, and we both could tell it was more to keep up the conversation than to know the answer, that I was quite certain was already known to the both of us.
"I only ever skipped with you" I replied, looking down as I admitted that I was, indeed, the kind of person that never did anything out of nowhere. I internally cringed, thinking of how boring I was compared to him. It made no sense for him to enjoy my company, I was nothing like him, and I knew that one day he would've probably got tired of sitting around and doing all the boring things I did. All of sudden, what Zayn has told me had started to make a lot more sense.
He hummed, pushing a chocolate curl out of his face. "I can tell I'm a bad influence to you" he said, something in the way he said telling me that he wasn't sorry at all.
"Not at all" I whispered to myself more than him, so low that I wasn't even sure he'd heard me. If he did, he didn't reply.
When we were done eating we stood up, putting our coats on before throwing the plastic dishes away and making our way out in the streets. We started walking in a non previously defined direction, close enough that I could feel his arm brush against mine.
I let out a little sigh, appreciating the little silence that had been created between us as we'd left the shop and taking it as my opportunity to think about everything that was going on.
"It makes me feel alive" he said all of sudden, and I looked up at him, taking a few seconds to understand what he was talking about.
He was looking down, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Yeah, it's one of the few things that makes me feel alive" he repeated in a faint whisper, lowly, as if he himself was trying to accept the meaning of his own words.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "I... I don't think I understand" I admitted quietly, looking in front of me, feeling as if it was easier to have a meaningful conversation with him without looking at him in the eyes.
"It's all about the rush" he replied quietly. "Doing things I shouldn't do, or stuff that's a bit crazy... it's the only thing that makes me feel alive." He let out a little chuckle. "I don't know how to explain it."
I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, a concerned look on my face. What did he mean by that? What did it mean? I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering if there was something more to Harry, that I hadn't been able to grasp yet, a whole different side of him that I didn't seem to know at all, but that, judging by what he and Niall had said, his family knew so well. Niall's words of some days had started to take shape, and I couldn't help but be at least a little worried about it.
"I kind of get it, I think" I replied, even though I didn't quite. I'd understood his words, but I knew nothing of what could've brought him to say them - to feel them in his heart as true.
A fragile silence fell over us after my last words, and I looked straight ahead, keeping walking next to Harry, for the first time understanding him in his apparent carelessness and not caring about where we were going.
"I didn't mean to overdose" he said all of sudden after a while. "It was a mistake."
I nodded, wondering at the back of my mind why he felt the need to specify it. But at the same time I was glad he did, because his words had silenced some thoughts that had started to seethe somewhere in my mind, not consolidated enough for me to worry about them yet. "I know" I said quietly, letting out a little sigh.
I felt the back of his hand graze against mine, the touch lasting just a second before he moved his hand away, the short time being enough for me to inadvertently hold my breath for a couple of seconds at the action.
"We should go back, it's starting to get late" he said, and I nodded.
We turned around, crossing the street and starting to walk towards the bus stop, the fact that we'd got rid of the heavy topics allowing a more casual conversation to take place.
"The next time you come at mine you should wet your hair too. If that's alright?" I asked carefully, and he gave me a little nod to show me he had no issue with it.
"Is blondie in your art class?" He asked all of sudden as we walked, putting his hands in the pockets of his coat.
I mimicked him, finding comfort in holding the small pencil I found in there between my fingers. "He is" I replied, and he let out a little hum.
"Too bad I was wearing boxers" he said quietly, and I widened my eyes when I understood what he was hinting at.
"Harry" I hissed, giving him a light pat on the arm before I could stop myself, feeling warmth creep up my cheeks right after.
He bit his lower lip, the corners of his lips turning up. "From a purely artistic point of view, it isn't very artistic" he said matter-of-factly, and I let out a little laugh.
"You're right" I gave in, "I should try to find a way to make them disappear." I looked up at him just in time to see the eloquent look he gave me. "That isn't the way I'm thinking about" I added fast, looking ahead again just in time to see a bus surpassing us. "Is that our bus?" I asked confusedly, squinting my eyes to read the number.
"It is" Harry said from next to me in the second I managed to read the number, and I widened my eyes as I took in how far away we were.
"What do we do?" I asked, watching as it halted at the bus stop at the end of the street.
"Run" Harry replied, taking my hand and starting to run towards the bus.
It took a couple of seconds to get adjusted to his fast step - and to the fact that I was running, which I hardly did, my lack of exercise making me run out of breath almost instantly as we sprinted towards the bus as fast as we could.
I stopped when I saw it move again and leave the bus stop, a look of defeat on my face, hunching my body forward as I tried to recuperate.
"Fuck!" Harry hissed, stopping a few steps in front of me after having let go of my hand. He was breathing a bit harder than usual, but it was clear that he was way more in shape than I could've ever aspired to be, considering that I felt as if I was on the brink of death.
I was that exhausted that I completely ignored his use of the swear word - to the point that I wondered if it truly had happened, or if it was just a product of my imagination. "What do we do?" I asked faintly as I started to feel a little bit better, starting to crave water that I didn't have.
Harry turned towards me, pushing his hair back again, giving a look to the side. "We catch it. Come on" he said, grabbing my wrist and starting to run in a new direction.
Determined not to risk dying again, I decided to run just a bit slower than him, following him as he sprinted down the street, trying my best not to lose him. He stopped after a while, realising that I was a bit behind and waiting for me before going back to running.
I grabbed the strap of my bag, starting to run faster as the urgency increased, not even asking him where we were going.
It all made sense when we reached a crossroad, with a new bus stop on the side.
The bus arrived and opened its doors as we sprinted towards it, hopping on it in the second we arrived, earning a small chuckle from the driver, that closed the doors again.
I took in a few deep breaths, gripping the bar not to fall as the bus moved, watching as Harry did the same, an elated look in his eyes, his usually pale cheeks a bit red because of the strain.
"We made it" I said when I managed to catch my breath, letting out a little laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
Harry gave me a little nod. "Did you feel it?" He asked me, getting closer enough to me to whisper into my ear. "The rush, I mean."
His words froze me in my place as the possibility that he might've made sure we were late in order for all of that to happen and for me to understand what he was talking about entered my mind. I distanced myself just enough to look into his eyes, searching them for an answer, but finding nothing in the pale green irises. "Yeah" I replied, the shocked look still present on my face.
He smiled, leaning past the bar we were still clinging on and connecting our lips in a playful but sweet kiss, my hands finding their way into his hair almost instantly.
Sorry for the spam! Long story short, I tried to edit it but the changes wouldn't get saved, so I tried to republish it (a couple of times, because it wasn't showing up in my activity so I supposed it wasn't out). Then wattpad decided to start working again and... well.
In other news, the next chapter is coming tomorrow!