chapter II.
" the pilgrim and his saint "
SIXTEEN YEARS OF BREATHING. sixteen whole years of breath that entered and left my body. within my sixteen years , i had never seen someone so intriguing. i stood there in stillness , holding his gaze. he looked welcoming. warm. he looked like my mercutio. his presence had an effect on not only me , but my mother as well. within seconds of being outside , she lost all consciousness and fainted right below my feet. i lost any sense of urgency to collapse right on the ground with her , to make sure she was alright. my attention was to him. where did he come from? and why was he the most arresting being to lay eyes on? the trance i was in was broken abruptly by zoe , who shook me in such a violent manner.
"earth to parker! we need to get cordelia inside." she seethed through her teeth. my eyes immediately left his face , looking down at my comatose mother.
the two girls had rushed over to her aid and i dropped to my knees , trying to hoist her limp-less body into my arms. she felt cold. like an ongoing blizzard. since my hands were touching her , her emotions emitted onto me. there was fear. paranoia. disturbance. out of instinct , i shoved her off of me. her feelings were too strong. it earned me concerned looks from myrtle and zoe , along with our newfound company. "im sorry," i said, "i-i didn't mean t—"
"just help us get her back into hawthorne." zoe's tone told me she was annoyed.
the four of us began lifting her up , with light stumbles and trips as we made our way back into the academy. during the struggle , i turned my back to see the boy still standing there. still looking at me. his posture was polite as he didn't budge not once to assist us. myrtle noticed this , scolding the young man. "us ladies could use a hand if you haven't noticed!" she yelled.
he stood in his position for at least a few seconds , letting out a sigh and breaking pose , walking over to us. i jolted my head back around , hoping he would go on the other side of where zoe and myrtle were. it would save me from embarrassment as i already felt my cheeks heating up. i watched his shadow as he edged closer and closer. ending up right next to me. he was a few inches taller than me , something i observed out of the corner of my eye. i moved over a little to not be in close contact of him. but he inched closer. he grabbed a hold onto one of my mother's arms , taking his other to cling onto her torso. we waddled our way towards the entrance , greeted by the familiar faces of behold and john henry. they looked astonish to see us carrying my mother. behold ran to find ariel, shouting his name all throughout the school. john henry guided us through hawthorne. he walked in front of us trying to pace himself so that we weren't far behind. we were able to lie her down on one of their couches that looked excruciatingly uncomfortable.
"what the hell happened?" john henry asked. his eyes went to the boy. "was this your doing?"
"no. it must've been the heat," said the boy , a look of frustration on his face.
myrtle nodded her head in agreement. "yes. the heat and your chancellor's nuisance wore my sweet cordelia down. we must let her rest until she comes to."
john henry and the boy vanished , seeking out ariel and the rest of their council. i remained calm , sitting beside my mother while everyone else crowded around us. it wasn't ideal , but it was nice to be in the company of my sisters. familiar and unfamiliar. the two girls from earlier stood side by side , staring at me like i were a foreign substance. zoe stared at them in awe , walking over to one of them and embracing her. their hug was long. full of passion and warmth. that feeling flooded me completely and a smile was plastered on my face. they had finally let go of each other , as the girl turned to look over at me once again. "im guessing you're one of our replacements?"
i scrunched up my face in confusion , letting a chuckle out. "pardon?"
zoe interrupted. "her name is parker. she's no replacement. she's cordelia's daughter."
the girl looked away from me and at zoe. "daughter?"
i nodded my head. "yes. i'm her daughter."
her hand went up to her chest. i didn't know her at all , but from her reaction she seemed upset. had i done something wrong? said something i wasn't supposed to? except i didn't. the girl's eyes became teary. she glanced over at the blonde. "how long were we stuck there?"
the blonde shrugged her shoulders. "too long."
before i could ask any questions , a sharp movement came from my mother. the action startled me but i was relieved. i scooped her into my arms while zoe , myrtle, and the two girls came closer to us.
"easy dear , you're alright." myrtle cheered , reaching out her hand to caress the side of my mother's cheek.
"yeah you're alright," i said "but what the hell happened?"
she chastised me. "language , parker."
"sorry."
my question was ignored but when her hand glided past mine , i sensed fear. something occurred while she unconscious. and she wasn't telling us. she attempted to lean forward but fully couldn't without me and zoe's help. she looked up at the two girls , shock and joy taking over her. my mother flew from the couch , clinging onto them both. her arms squeezed them an inch tighter , telling me it was genuine. i remember when she held me that close. but just like little girls growing out of their old frilly dresses , she had out grown me. watching her show affection to others , affection i believed i deserved , made me nauseous.
the blonde rolled her eyes , trying to escape my mother's arm. "maybe you forgot im not much of a hugger." she said.
"tough shit!" my mother spouted.
she had finally let them go , and i was pulled to the side by zoe. she explained to me that the two girls were queenie and madison. both previous members of my mother's coven that met their ends brutally. zoe wasn't sure how they were brought back , as both had been stuck in hell for almost eternity. their names were mentioned various times around robichaux , but i had never seen their faces until now. queenie was pretty , with dark brown eyes and the cutest nose. madison was also pretty , but any energy or emotion i felt from her was moderate and solid. i was able to formally introduce myself after zoe's quick lesson. they shook my hand with firm grips and the meeting felt awkward. when asking about me and where i had come from , it was difficult to explain as we all just stared at each other. i gave them a the first thing that came into my head:
"i'm adopted."
after our exchange , i stood next to my mother who stared at the two with a hearty smile. she then turned around to face myrtle and zoe. her smile faded. "i want to see him. the boy." she said.
myrtle looked at zoe who then looked at me. without words she gave my mother a simple nod , walking away to find ariel.
for the rest of our time at hawthorne , we sat and talked in the common room. queenie and madison were able to catch up with my mother. i noticed weird feelings from zoe , as she had hugged queenie earlier but not madison. there was unfinished business and unspoken words they refused to share with each other. i didn't understand it much , nor did i really care. myrtle searched up and down throughout the school and eventually found behold and pennypacker. when requesting for the boy , they said they weren't sure of his whereabouts , figuring he left after we lied my mother down earlier. my presence felt like an invasion of privacy. with the mysterious return of queenie and madison , my mother's attention was focused on them and ocassionally zoe. i was left to suffer in silence , with none of the topics they discussed being of any interest. i wanted to go home. back to the comfort and safety of my room. back to my mother nagging every minute of the day. back to my books. and especially back to my mercutio.
while they talked , i got up from where i sat and decided to take a walk around hawthorne. zoe watched me as i left , not bothering to ask me anything. i assumed it was a sign of her being complacent in my choice. mother didn't notice , as she was too busy soaking up her moments with the rest of her girls. she was happy. but the underlying fear that i felt from her earlier still lingered inside of her.
the halls of hawthorne were dimly lighted , rummaging through different hallways. like robichaux , the academy had students. the only difference was that they were all males and they were warlocks. my mother had me under the assumption that warlocks had died out over the years , with the only familiarity of supernatural that i had known being witches. during our meeting earlier , i had seen a few of them. some locked eyes with me , licking their lips and whispering obscurities under their breath. others gave me abnormal looks. the boy from earlier , who caused my mother to faint , was a warlock. the thought of his face was encrusted into my eyes. i would be devastated if i ever forgot his face. it was one i would remember years from now.
i came across a staircase which i walked down without hesitation. by the time i got to the bottom , i was surrounded by dozens of book cases. they were black with absolutely no empty shelves. just books. spellbooks. novels. i stopped at one of the cases , running my fingers along each book. looking down , specks of dust and lint decorated my fingers. i scoffed in response. why have such a room dedicated to literature if they didn't bother to take care of it?
i wiped my fingers on the side of my skirt , continuing my journey through hawthorne's library. there were classics like huckleberry finn. gone with the wind. suddenly my eyes lit up as i came across a gold book cover. not just any golden book cover. i quickly pulled the book out from its place on the shelf , with my suspicion and excitement paying off. the tragedy of romeo and juliet. the same exact copy as mine. and although i've read it so many times , the sight of it tempted me to lie down on the cold tile floor and recite every single line. but i wouldn't do that. instead , i would open it up to one of my favorite parts. act one , scene five , where romeo first kisses juliet. i closed the book , leaving my index finger in between the page , looking outside of the library and out into the hall to make sure i was completely alone. and fortunately , i was.
opening the book back up , i searched for juliet's line and was prepared to read it aloud in my best shakespearean tone , but was startled by a thud behind me. thinking it was zoe or my mother , i turned around while thinking of what to say in my head.
"i'm sorry for running o—"
there was no zoe. and the figure definitely wasn't my mother. it was him. his curls hiding those blue eyes of his. i didn't hear his footsteps as he was coming down the stairs , but he must've tripped on his way down. he stood feet away from me. smiling.
"what are you sorry for?" he asked , his voice so gentle yet intimidating.
i tried to seek out an object in the library to look at , to avoid anymore eye contact with him. i looked down at the copy of romeo and juliet in my hands for comfort. "nothing. i thought you were my mom." i say.
he nods. "your mother. was she the one who fainted earlier?"
i nod back.
he lets out a small chuckle as i'm still looking down. "is she alright?" he asks.
"yeah. she's fine." i replied.
"that's good to hear."
we both stood there in silence for a few seconds , no more words exchanged. in my mind , i was hoping he would leave me alone to resume my silly read. instead he stayed. and i guess he saw the book in my hands , pausing our moment of stillness.
"ah the tragedy of romeo and juliet. i love that play." he said , his footsteps growing closer towards me.
i say nothing , still remaining full eye contact with the book. i don't see his figure out of the blind sight of my eyes. what i do see is his hands on top of the book , almost touching mine. i flinch. he steps back and puts his hand up to his mouth. "im sorry i didn't mean to startle you again."
"it's okay." i said , clutching the book tighter in my hands.
he's aware that i'm nervous and tries to break the glacier between us. "have you ever read it?"
my abrupt anxiousness turns to annoyance as i scoff at his question. "why of course i've read it! what kind of question is that?" i sneered.
the book is no longer in my grasp. he has snatched it from my bare hands in response to my comment. i let out a gasp as my eyes have no choice but to look up at him and his face in anger. a part of me felt offended , feeling he had done it on purpose. and the other part of secretly didn't mind. there was a smug look on his face , looking down on me like i were below him. he raised the book above his hand , his arms to long for me to even reach it.
"give it back!" i demand.
"what's the magic word?" he asked with a chuckle
"i'm not doing this with you." i grunt , folding my arms.
"oh don't tell me you're gonna pout about it."
my mouth was in a permanent scowl , giving up so quickly on any chance of me getting the book back. as charming as his face was , his personality was that of the boys back home: vapid and irritable. he smirked at me , lowering his arms along with the book.
"since you've read this piece , you'd have no trouble reciting it would you?" he asked , licking his fingers and flipping senselessly through the pages.
"no. i guess not." i said with attitude.
the boy finishes turning pages , but i can't help to notice his posture. he stood upright , like a statue. his shoulders were slouched back with elegance. it wasn't sloppy like my shoulders and how i slouched. he looks up at me , and proceeds to turn the book around so i can see. as much flipping that he did , looking at the page , he wound up on the exact same page i attempted to read before he interrupted me. act one. scene fucking five. i thought of it as a joke , as a way of him telling me that he had been watching me while i explored the library. but instead of immediately lashing out , i went along with his game. he brought the back into his view , walking to the spot i had retrieved it from and gently placed it back on the shelf. then he walked back over to me , but much closer.
he reaches out for my hand , to which i raise my eyebrow at , but slowly remember that romeo takes juliet's hand in the scene. before he grabs it , he looks at me once again.
"is it okay if i grab your hand?" he asks.
i try to search for words to say , but nothing comes out. so i simply nod. he takes his hand into mine , making sure not to intertwine our fingers. i feel nothing from him. no emotions. no thoughts. absolutely nothing. it wasn't rare for me to not be able to feel the feelings and emotions of another being , but he was void of anything. i wanted to rip my hand away from him , ask him why i wasn't feeling anything from him. but his hold on my hand was comfortable. and i didn't want to let go.
"let's see how well you know your shakespeare." he says.
i look deep in his eyes , and smile with confidence. this throws him off , as the cockiness he once embodied started to wane.
the boy clears his throat , beginning his lines. "if i profane with my unworthiest hand , this holy shrine the gentle sin is this...my lips , two blushing pilgrims , ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."
his delivery falls so smoothly out of his mouth like warm butter. he holds eye contact the whole time , never looking up at the ceiling or to the floor to search for his lines. i don't think my delivery will be as strong as his , but i still give it a try.
"good pilgrim , you do wrong your hand too much , which mannerly devotion shows in this , for saints have hands that pilgrims do touch , and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."
i feel his thumb stroke my hand with gentle care before it's his turn to go. i do not stir. "have not saints lips , and holy palmers too?"
he is inching closer and closer and all of my thoughts pause , as if he has put me under a spell without my knowledge. i don't stop him. and i begin to recite my part. "ay pilgrim , lips that they must use in prayer."
"o , then dear saint , let lips do what hands do. they pray ; grant thou , lest faith turn to despair." he recites , licking his lips , his eyes staring deeply at my mouth.
"saints do not move , though grant for prayers' sake." i say , my other hand reaching for his cheek.
his head moves closer towards me , and i feel mine move in unison. i know what happens next. romeo delivers his line , and passionately kisses juliet. but like i said , i was going along with the boy's games.
our lips are mere inches away from each other , so close that i can feel his breath warm my lips. he says his line. "then move not , while my prayer's effect i take."
my heart begins beating , so hard i know that he feels it. our hands are still held together , and my other hand is running small circles along his cheek. i watch him close his eyes , leaning in even further to press his lips onto mine. i keep my eyes open , leaning in and whispering to him:
"nice try."
with his eyes still shut there is dissatisfaction on his face that he attempts to hide with a laugh as i drop his hand and scoot further away from him , leaving him in the library and making my towards the steps. as im almost at the halfway mark on the stairs , he turns his head back to look at me and throws his arms up slightly in the air.
"let's do it again sometime." he says , a devilish smile plastered on his face.