When I woke up on Monday morning my head was pounding. I didn't want to face Ethan. I didn't want to face Grayson. I didn't want to face myself.
Over this weekend I used my tip money to go buy makeup and some hair things to make sure I looked and felt confident.
I curled my hair loosely and made sure it didn't look sloppy. I took extra time with my makeup. My eyeshadow was blending perfectly and I took time to get the wing just right. My outfit consisted of lighter blue jeans, a long sleeve black shirt, and a black and red vest. I put on my black boots and grabbed my phone.
The moment I arrived to school I felt eyes on me. I didn't have the guts to look and see if it was one of the twins. I just continued walking and held my head high.
I approached my locker and Grayson was leaning up against the locker next to mine waiting.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been worried and Ethan went crazy," he fumed raising his voice gaining attention.
"Grayson don't," I calmly said and opened my locker only for him to slam it shut causing me to jump back.
"Are you serious right now? You just left, you didn't answer my phone calls or text. Ethan went out and looked for you, he was terrified something awful happened to you."
"Well you know what, he should have thought about that before he screwed me over then. I'm tired of people walking all over me, acting as if I matter to them only for them to not give a single f*ck about me when I need them!"
Grayson still fumed as he stood in front of me, we gained attention from everyone in the hallway.
"That's bullshit and you know it Dakota!"
"Really? Because it's pretty true. You guys act like I have no problems like I put it all on myself, well guess what, I'm not who I am because I want to be!" I shouted while glaring at Grayson. "I don't know why you even have anything to say because weren't you the one who's been telling me I'm too good to be his brothers girlfriend?"
"What?" A voice boomed from behind me.
Ethan
Shit
"Are you serious Gray? You're my brother," Ethan said softly clearly upset.
"Ethan you don't understand the shit you've done to her. The things that kept her up at night crying."
"You think I don't? You think I don't stay up crying myself because I hurt her? You think I just like making her cry and making her hate things about herself? I just can't believe you right now Grayson," Ethan went to storm off and Grayson went to follow.
I reached my hand out and grabbed Gray's arm.
"I'll go talk to him," I muttered and quickly followed him outside ignoring the first bell. "Ethan!"
He kept walking to his truck and jumped inside. I ran up to the passenger side and opened the door. His eyes were glassed over and his breathing was uneven.
Quickly I crawled into the truck and shut the door. In an instant Ethan was in the middle and had me cuddled into his chest. He began to sob as he muttered apologetic whispers.
"Ethan," I cried and looked up at him. "Ethan, baby, stop crying." I wiped his tears away with my thumb and just stared into his eyes. "Ethan talk to me."
"What do you want me to say Dakota? I don't know what to do anymore. I've lost you, I'm loosing my brother, I've lost the reputation that I wanted. What else do you want?" Ethan screamed at me. I flinched back from his words and sighed. He's just upset.
"Ethan, you've not lost your brother nor will you. You can still have the reputation you've always wanted, you're a football player and you're gonna do wrestling. You're an attractive guy, you know how to get the reputation, you're not loosing all you think you are," I gently spoke.
"But I'm loosing you."
Lost
"Ethan, I don't regret being with you. I don't regret crying over you and fighting for you, but I can't do this anymore. I'm constantly worried about you and if you truly care about me. I'm worried about Abby and her friends. You can't have the cool guy rep and be my boyfriend. I want you to be happy and I'm not gonna make you happy E."
The truck grew silent. At this point Ethan turned his head so he was facing away from me looking out the window. I could see his chin shaking.
"I don't," he began but stopped. "Why." He started again. "What can I do to change this?"
A sigh left my mouth as tears began to prick my eyes.
"I don't know Ethan. I'm working on bettering myself. I want to be happy. I want to be the person I need to be for myself and I can't if I have to be someone for you and everyone else."
"So that's it? You're throwing away us over some stupid sh*t Grayson said?"
"This has nothing to do with Grayson. He wasn't a big fan of us being together, but he was trying to protect us from this. Don't see him as the bad guy here. If anyone is it's me," I whispered and wiped my tears away.
"Where are you staying?" He asked after a couple silent seconds.
"Ethan I," but he cut me off.
"Where. Are. You. Staying?"
"At a hotel," I replied slightly scared.
"Why?"
"I don't want to go home."
"Stay with me?" He offered sounding hopeful.
"That isn't a good idea E," I mumbled.
"I don't like not knowing if you're safe or not," he grumbled and turned on the truck.
"I'm fine, I've been there for about four days now."
"I'll clean out the spare room for you, please," Ethan pleaded.
I never answered Ethan back. We drove down the old abandoned rode that led to the Dolan household, but I knew I wasn't staying. If anything I'd wait till night and call a cab.
The house was warm like normal and empty. I took off my boots inside the door and walked up to Ethan's room. I stood in the doorway and looked at the bed. The memories. The cuddles. The kisses.
"Do you really want to throw this all away?" Ethan whispered in my ear. He placed his hands on my hips and pressed his warm body completely against my back.
"Ethan, this isn't a good idea," I panted as his lips ghosted against my neck.
My knees shook as his lips worked on my soft spot. I moved one hand to his shaggy hair and tugged, showing I wanted more.
Do it
I can't I'm leaving him
You'll regret it
I'll feel guilty
You're gonna feel guilty when you leave
Don't leave anything on the table take it and run
I don't know how
He will show you
"Ethan," I panted and turned in his arms. He looked shocked at my move.
"Yes Dakota."
"I'm ready."