I remained silent for just a few moments, staring at the boy with a grin slowly spreading across my face.
"What the fuck, George?" I laughed, "Yer the most dramatic bloke I've ever met, ye really are."
George crossed his arms and glared back at me, "S'not a joke, ye know. I think we oughta talk abou' everythin' that has happened, lately."
I sighed and leaned up against the wall once more, "Oh, this'll be good."
"John, I... I know ye fancy Paul... And... I also know that ye heard everythin' I said abou' ye." George explained. "I mean, I said it pretty loudly for a good reason."
My face contorted to a look of confusion and slight anger, "George, yer insane. Yer seein' somethin' that jus ain't there." I insisted.
"Ah, jus shut it up, Lennon. I'm not oblivious like the others are! So, quit the charade, already." George shouted, "I see the way ye look at him ...and the way ye can't keep yer hands off him! It's all clear as day to me. ...I know it, you know it. ...Yer bloody queer, ...ain't ye?"
I glared at the boy and started to lean closer to him, "And why the Hell do ye care so much to know?! Why is it so important for ye to know if I like Paul?! Why are ye pressing me so hard for all this?!" I shouted at George, getting closer to him with every word, "Is us bein' friends a crime, now?"
"...Could be." George was now looking up with me, still frustration in his eyes, "Look, I'm jus right worried abou' my best mate! That's all. I don't want him to go and make the biggest mistake of his life! If there's even a slight possibility of me preventing this, then I'll take it." George paused, "He's got a girlfriend, anyroad, John."
"Yeah. Exactly." I said, backing away a bit, "There's no way I'd ever want to date a bloke, Geo. ...I mean, I chat shit abou' a lot of things, but I could never-"
"Yer a shit liar." George snapped. "Ye know what yer doin' is illegal, right?"
"Fuck! What's yer problem, Geo?! Do ye like Paul or somethin'?!" I gripped my hands into a fist.
George threw his head back in laughter, "No, I'm not a fag like ye are, John."
That was it.
I pulled my fist back and slammed it into George's jaw as hard as I could, resulting in him shooting backwards and hitting his head against the wall.
George looked back up at me and rubbed the area I hit, "Ye bastard!" He stood up quickly and jumped at me, resulting in me to grab his hand and pulling it down.
"Go back to class, Geo." I growled quietly, "And quit worryin' abou' everythin' so much, alright? Things that don't involve ye."
He looked back at me with deep hatred in his eyes. Pulling away, he stormed out the washroom.
I chuckled as I pulled a cigarette out of my carton, lighting it between my lips.
"What a weird lad." I said to myself, puffing smoke out as I spoke. I hope he got all the answers he was looking for.
I finally left the washroom after putting the cigarette out in a sink. I then walked down the hallways until I ended up back in my classroom.
"You were gone for a while, weren't you?" The teacher asked as I shut the door behind me.
I paused and smiled nervously, "Trust me, I wasn't doing anything too excitin', now."
The class giggled to themselves as I took my seat in the back.
After school ended, I dreaded to go meet up with the lads. I knew that the second we all see eachother, George is gonna tell Paul everything that had happened. Paul is going to be so confused in why I'd hurt his friend. Paul is going to ask so many questions about me.
Paul is going to find out the truth. I just have to accept it.
I immediately stopped walking as my heart nearly ceased beating as I made that sudden realization.
Shit.
I've always been so bad at coping with my anger. I have always resorted to using violence to deal with my issues, but I've never dealt with anything like this before.
Is it too late for an apology?
And with that, I reluctantly walked to Paul's house, shaking like a leaf as I strolled down the road.
Paul was sat on his porch, puffing a cigarette and staring off into space. He looked so peaceful and at ease like this, it made my heart melt. As I approached his yard, he waved out at me and flicked his cigarette into the grass.
"...Oh, ...well. ...Good evenin', John!" He smiled.
"Wow! What a formal greeting, Macca, thank ye." I joked.
Paul rolled his eyes and slid his hands into his pockets, "Mind if we go inside, then?"
"After ye." I said, opening the front door for him. He nodded his head and walked inside.
This time his house was completely silent with no lights on. Not a single noise was heard at all throughout the house.
"Where is everyone?" I asked.
Paul squinted his eyes, "Oh- um." He paused, "My Da' took Mikey to see me Mum at the clinic. So... we're home alone 'till George and Richard get here. Again."
I bit my bottom lip, thinking of Mary and wondering if she was okay. Although I wanted to ask, I was much too afraid to. I just decided to drop the subject all together.
"Right, um... Okay, Macca." I replied softly.
Awkward silence fell over the room like a blanket of snow for a moment.
"Anyroad, we oughta head upstairs and start practicin'." Paul suggested while scratching the back of his head.
I smiled and began to run up the staircase as Paul followed close behind me.
He strummed his guitar gently, he let the strings flow across his fingers in such a pleasing way, it sent chills throughout my body to hear.
"Yer lovely on the bass, Macca." I pointed out, scooting closer on the bed. "Have I told ye that recently?"
He smiled back at me, "Thank ye, John. ...And no, ye haven't. So, that means... a lot to me comin' from ye."
He stared back into my eyes for a moment, creating thick tension between us. He looked back down at the instrument with a grin.
"I hope ye know... jus how much ye mean to me, John." He admitted, "Sometimes I wonder if... maybe I care too much."
"Oh?" I furrowed my brows at his comment, "What do ye mean?"
"Well, I don't know it's jus... I've never felt so comfortable wi' someone like I do wi' ye... It worries me." Paul choked out. "Even George is gettin' pretty suspicious."
I leaned in closer, wanting desperately to lock lips with that boy right then and there.
"I think I can understand that." I replied, now just inches away from Paul's face. "And I think I care abou' ye jus as much, maybe, ...if not more."
We stayed silent for a moment, just staring into eachothers eyes, both of us waiting for something to happen.
"Yer... very beautiful, Macca." I admitted, whether I wanted to say it or not was not up to me, it simply slipped out.
"Johnny, I-" Paul began to say.
Say it for me, pretty boy.
"I love you." He paused, "Yer like a brother to me... even if we haven't been friends for very long."
There it is.
An "I love you" even if he means it as just friends.
Hearing him say that made me blush a little bit, "I love ye too, Macca." I giggled.
We rested our foreheads on eachother's before we heard the click of a bedroom door knob turning. We quickly pulled away from eachother and Paul continued to play his bass.
George walked in with his head facing the floor, ensuring to cover his face. Richard was stood next to him with an angry glare shot directly at me.
"I see ye jus let yerselves in, then?" Paul joked.
"The door was unlocked, Paul." George replied in a mono-tone voice. "If ye don't want visitors, fucking lock it."
"Right." Paul said awkwardly. "So, should we start off wi'-"
George looked up at Paul with a hurt look in his eyes.
Paul gasped, "Geo! What the fuck happened to ye?!"
George looked back down, "Someone... has tried me today at school."
George shot his gaze back at me, attempting to make me feel guilty. I made a half-smile in embarrassment.
"George. Who did this?" Paul demanded for an answer. "Who's arse do I gotta beat?"
George remained silent, still staring at me.
Paul followed his eyes back to me, a shocked expression forming on his face.
"...John did this?!" He exclaimed. "Can't be serious."
George simply nodded.
Paul turned around as he ran his fingers through his hair, "John, I- Why?! ...Why would ye do such a thing?"
I took a deep breath before replying, "Paul... He kept asking me these personal questions and wouldn't stop, so I jus-"
"That's no excuse to hit someone that hard!" Paul shouted. "No excuse to hit anyone, period! I can't stand violence, especially against me own friends!"
I looked back at George, his jaw was now purple and swollen so badly that his lip was contorted a tad.
"Can ye two please leave... for jus a moment." I asked of George and Richard. They nodded and headed out of the room. Finally, I can fully explain myself.
"John. Why on Earth did ye go and hurt George like that?" Paul asked. "Never seen him so roughed-up, before."
"He asked me to come meet him in the washroom today, so I did. ...Once I got there, he kept bombarding me wi' the same question while insulting me, ofcourse. And-"
Paul interrupted, "Well. What question was it...?"
I sighed before reluctantly explaining, "He... he kept askin' if I fancied ye, and when I said no, he insisted I was lyin', Macca."
Paul groaned and rubbed his face, "Well, are ye lyin', John?"
My blood ran cold.
I laughed nervously, "Pardon?"
"Do ye fancy me, John?" Paul reiterated. "Be honest."
Yes, ofcourse I do. How could you be so blind to it?
I chuckled a bit, "No, I don't, actually."
Paul pursed his lips, fluttering his long eyelashes, "Are ye sure?"
I stayed silent once again as I stared at Paul, the knot in my stomach grew tighter and tighter. It was as if he was trying to get me to admit it.
"...Oh, Macca, I'd hate to be a liar. 'Specially to ye. Jus can't do it."
Paul's facial expression changed drastically from playful and sweet to lost and unsure.
"I do like ye, Macca." I finally admitted. "I-"
Paul's eyes quickly studied my body, "Yer... Yer jokin', yeah?!"
My eyes went wide.
"Aren't ye?!" He asked louder. "Yer jus goin' along wi' me joke, yeah?!"
There's no room for lying, now.
"No, ...Macca, I'm not joking." I said solemnly. "I'm really being dead serious, now."
Paul's eyes turned into a glare, "So, yer a fucking queer?! ...Genuinely?! George was right, then! He had every single right to call ye out on it!" He shouted. "How could ye get so offended at being told the truth?"
"Paul, please calm down." I stroked his arm. "Maybe it wasn't exactly what he said, it's jus the way he said it really-"
"I'm not queer like ye are, John! Hate to be the bearer of bad news. I could never be wi' another man, Hell, I have a girlfriend of me own!" He shouted as I continued to rub his arm with care. He pulled away angrily. "Jane is her name, and I'd much rather be wi' her than... than you, of all people. Not a man one who hurts the people that he's supposed to care abou' most!"
He turned away, "Jus go home, John. And... don't even think abou' comin' back here, either. I don't wanna see yer bloody mug 'round here ever again."
My eyes began to well up with tears, even if I tried to held them back.
I lost him.
He acted like he felt the same way that I do. So why is he being this way? I just don't understand this boy.
I slowly rose from his bed and headed towards the door, getting one last look at the ebony-haired boy. He was still sat on the bed and had his head rested into his hands. Sighing, I turned the knob and headed out the bedroom door.
Down the hall stood George and Richard, awkwardly, not saying a word to me. I stopped and looked at George with a hurt look, ensuring he could see the tears run down my cheeks.
"Hope yer happy wi' yerself, Geo." I snapped before heading down the stairs and out the front door.
Bastards.