Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio...

By Unprettier

2.8K 153 18

Because life is still a beach. Accounts of the author's failed attempts at interpersonal interaction, part de... More

Lovescream (intro kuno)
Everything is a Copy: The Fine Line Between Replication and Duplication
Yeah, you're so wild. You and everyone else!
Slow Animals
Money Can't Buy Me Charisma (Welcome to Hell!)
God makes man and this is the devil's finishing touches.
iWant2Believe: When Pigs Fly (no, 'di mo pwede isakay 'yung baboy sa helicopter)
Lip Service: Strawberry Jam + Pineapple Juice, feat. Lusaw na Tsokolate
I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)
Soldier, Conman, Artist, Lover
Zoonomia
β˜… No parking dito, gago! (selfie muna sa Jollibee while you wait)
Soy un Dorito: Vegan police and remapping the human soul.
Bittersweet Migraine: Dumplings at Kangkong ang Susi sa Tagumpay
AAALIEEENNN!!!
β˜… I'm a landmine filming my own fake death: Going on a feel... field trip
gusto ko lang talaga mag-update dahil halloween ngayon (shit galing sa drafts)
From Kiss to Kisses
Run to the Hills, Run for Your Lives! (Fun Run edition)
Lay Off the Paint Chips: Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam
Last Night, a DJ Saved My Life. (get me outta here)
Things Destroyed While You Wait. (Going on a feel trip's bonus content.)
Here's Johnny!
Forever in debt to your priceless advice: Diamonds are forever...
Planet Xerox, or "Everything's broken, everyone's pissed off"
Ang Babae sa CR ng Starbucks
Second Sem, or How I Learned to Stop Living and Love the Bomb
Math vs. Unprettier: Somewhere along the way...
Holler, Hell-er! (Welcome to Hell, Part 2)
I Hope Your Fish is a Piranha in Disguise (Should've Called PETA Up on Your Ass)
Aristotle, Harambe, and Tit Hairs
Going to the Arcade! (Unprettier Becomes a Gamer Ghorl)
Sabi nga ni Lil Peep at Selena Gomez, I'm "Falling Down!"

Primordial Soup for the Soul

101 8 2
By Unprettier

What do awkward people think of their first few days inside a dormitory? Unless kasama mo ~*bEsT fRiiEnDsXz 4eVur pFoUhXzs*~ mo, I doubt it's a pleasant experience. Of course, basic resources and satisfactory living conditions are bomb-ass perks because you won't die (how it pays to be privileged, eka nga) but the whole socializing shebang is a whole 'nother story.

Maybe it involves losing sleep due to strangers (hindi ba sila nauubusan ng pinag-uusapan?), or taking a bath at 8 AM whilst random people are singing in the background. "THIS ISN'T PITCH PERFECT!.......YOU'RE NOT EVEN SINGING THE SAME SONG!" Wala ka naman talagang magagawa kasi share-share kayo sa bathroom na 'yun. At kung gusto mong mag-diet, just stare at the clumps of hair on the bathroom floor and you ought to lose your appetite... Well. Gives me more reasons to enjoy school. Maybe it'll get better in days to come?

--x--

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo? Ako... I'm propagating a unicameral form of idiosyncrasy occuring malevolently in a merotorious piece of a clasterubial* brain.... in short... NAKATUNGANGA! " -- Convoluted GM shite na kumakalat noong high school student ako.

Sumakit ang ulo ko sa mga papeles na binigay ni prof nung isang araw. It definitely isn't for the layperson! The fact that even I got confused by it all says a lot. Hehehe, charot lang. Maybe he has to stoop to our level. Our vocabulary isn't as vast, extensive and [insert sesquipedalian adjective here] para maintindihan lahat ng sinasabi niya, fak!

I think brevity is paramount. Unless siguro thesis ang ginagawa mo, or you have something to prove. Nobody would say "I am to later devour and masticate gargantuan portions of viands, my pleasant comrade" when you can say "Kakain ako mamaya, pare!" You fancy, monocle-wearing British gentleman, you. Dost thou necessitate conversing in a manner tantamount to the remarkable luminaries of yesteryear to be labeled as an astute individual? O putaragis, mas okey bang magsalita nang ganito? Ano ka, thesis? Maybe it takes one to know one...

* And no, hindi ko pa rin alam ang ibig sabihin ng clasterubial.

===

Nanonood ako kanina ng show kung saan may isang grupong kumakanta (I swear hindi Kpop). Ang galing, halos gayang-gaya na 'yung tinig nila sa album. Pagkatapos ng unang performance nila, nag-encore pa. Nakakabanas at outdated 'yung susunod nilang kinanta, pero enough of that. I'm going to talk about something else.

Sa kalagitnaan ng encore nila, bigla silang bumaba galing sa stage at nagpamigay ng kendi sa audience at nauntog ako sa katatawa. (Figures, ang theme naman kasi nila roon ay ang pagsayaw na may hawak na higanteng lollipop.) Hindi na bata ang mga miyembro ng grupong 'to--they're all in their mid-20's at college graduate na ang isa-kaya pagkatapos kong tumawa, naisip ko lang... gago ba 'yung producer? Kaso hindi lang ngayon nangyari 'to. Hindi lang sa performance ng Kpop ESTE grupong pinanood ko nagkakaroon ng batuhan ng kendi...

Nangyayari ito tuwing nangangampanya 'yung mga tatakbo sa Student Council. Pagkatapos mambola ng mga nominees sa audience, magpapaalam na sila. At magbabato ng kendi. Minsan Dynamite ('yung kendi po hindi 'yung bomba), minsan Maxx, minsan XO, or Potchi, o kung medyo mayaman, maliliit na chocolate. Wala naman talagang pake 'yung mga estudyante sa mga campaign, gusto lang nila ng kendi. *overly-prickly keyboard warrior voice* Kaya hindi umuunlad ang Pilipinas.

Paano kung normal sa society natin kapag nag-concert si Beyoncé tapos bigla na lang siyang magbabato ng kendi sa audience? Paano kung magpaulan ng kendi si Pnoy tuwing SONA? Ewan ko na lang, pero alam kong maraming mangangarap maging dentista.

--x--

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