___
taeyong
yeona
taeyong
yeona please talk to me
taeyong
you haven't said a word
to us in days
taeyong
everyone's worried about
you
taeyong
even johnny is having a
mental break down from
not sending you cheesy
pick up lines for days
taeyong
so the guy improvised and
sent them to ten, and from
the looks of it, he doesn't
seem to mind for some
reason
taeyong
i even tried going to your
dorm but that girl minseo
told me you werent there
but you and i both know
you were
taeyong
i know you're upset but its
not like it was your fault.
its not like you were there
to stop it
taeyong
you dont have to be upset,
its been years since it
happened. i'm okay now
taeyong
yeona
taeyong
yeona please
taeyong
yeona ffs
taeyong
yawnaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
taeyong
yawna yeona yiona yarn
yoana yogurt
taeyong
please talk to me, i know
you can see my messages
seen ✓
taeyong
YEONA
taeyong
SJKSDFSKJGE oOMG
taeyong
YEONA PLEASE SAY
SOMETHING
taeyong
ANYTHING
taeyong
just so i know you're
okay
yeona
...pineapples do not
belong on pizza
taeyong
YES THANK GOD
taeyong
not about the fruit on pizza
but the fact that you replied
taeyong
yeona i was so worried about
you
yeona
you were worried about
me?
taeyong
yes, i honestly couldnt think
straight for days because of
what happened
taeyong
the images just kept replaying
through my head
yeona
what images?
taeyong
just your tears falling down,
it broke my heart
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taeyong
um your ugly mascara
dripping down your face
yeona
fuck you i ran out of
waterproof mascara
that day
taeyong
i'm joking please dont
cry im sorry
yeona
are you apologizing to
me? wow thats a first
taeyong
ikr? but wow holy fuck
i'm just so fucking happy
to hear from you again
yeona
i know i'm sorry. i hope i'm
not overreacting but...
yeona
i just felt... overwhelmed,
like i couldn't believe you
had to live through that
yeona
thats when i realized you've
been through a lot, and
whether you show it or not,
you have feelings, something
a normal human being has
yeona
and i just couldnt help
but feel like an asshole
for all those times i told
you off and called you
mean shit
taeyong
yes i'm human thank you
for finally understanding
yeona
i must be stupid for
crying huh i guess im
just a sensitive little
bitch
yeona
but its not like i was the
only one, i bet eunmi cried
buckets she literally cares
for you so much
taeyong
uh well, when i told her
she just patted my shoulder,
telling me "at least she's safe
now and its over with."
yeona
what in the fuck
taeyong
it's fine, i just told her at
the wrong time, she was
busy and stressed with
exams i doubt she heard
me properly
yeona
that's still not the proper
response to give someone
what the fuck
taeyong
its okay, i'm not bothered
by it. really.
yeona
the full stops tell me
otherwise
yeona
unless i'm just being overly
sensitive oof i gotta man up
you're probably laughing at
my overly sensitive ass
taeyong
what?? no? if anything i think
that makes you more human
than you already are
taeyong
i guess you arent that cold
metal machine robot that
i always thought you were
yeona
and you aren't that cold
hearted, ice trapped caveman
i always thought you were
taeyong
wow
yeona
wow indeed
yeona
uh this is kind of random
but, can i tell you something?
taeyong
you don't even have
to ask, just tell
yeona
well, honestly i wasn't going
to tell anyone this before but,
i've been through what you've
been through
taeyong
oh
yeona
it's not the exact same as
your sisters story but my
cousin went through
something similar as her
yeona
and when she went to the
authorities to report about
it, they didn't believe her.
they said that she was asking
for it. they blamed it on the
way she dressed and how
much she drank that night
taeyong
i'm sorry...
yeona
i'm sorry for her too. it drove
her crazy and it started to
make feel like it really was her
fault which was so stupid.
yeona
but i told her it wasn't. that
she shouldn't blame herself.
but all the thoughts got to her
head. and she... she took her
life
taeyong
yeona...
yeona
and then i started feeling
guilty. i blamed myself for
not being able to stop her.
or maybe if i said something
differently, she would still
be here. it's like i let her do it
taeyong
yeona please don't say
that, it was not your
fault
yeona
i guess that's also why
i'm so affected by your
story too, even if it was
years ago.
taeyong
i'm sorry, this must
have been hard for
you to share.
yeona
it's okay. like you, this
happened a long time ago
too. you've got to move on
at some point.
yeona
so uh anyways, if you
aren't busy, can we meet
up?
taeyong
sure, why though?
yeona
i kinda want to explain
myself further, and to say
other things as well but i
rather talk it out than type
it out, mostly cause i'm too
lazy
taeyong
you know you can call
me if you really want
to talk
yeona
but i want to see you
error! message not sent!
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yeona
wow you don't even
want to see me after so
long? like maybe i have
food or something
taeyong
time and place
yeona
now and, you know where
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
"I should have known..."
Taeyong mumbled to himself as he got off the bus. His feet slam against the asphalt heavily as he rushed passed the thick trees, leaves crunching with every step he took.
He had a slight feeling she would be there. For the past few days, something inside of him told him that she might be there, and on some, he made the effort to actually check. But every time he got to the top, there was no one around. But it felt like someone was, as if someone was there moments before and he had just missed them.
But this time, he wasn't going to let her slip by.
He slowed down once he reached the top, hand on his chest as his breaths heaved heavily. He slowly approached the open space and lazily sat down on the soft grass, lying his back on the ground.
"Told you that was a mountain."
Taeyong scoffed, pushing his hair back out of his eyes, only for it to fall back into place, "I'm tired cause I ran here okay, and it's a hill."
"Ran for me or the snacks?"
"Oh? You really got them?" Taeyong sat up quickly at the sound of rustling beside him. He looked over to see his beloved strawberry macarons in a small box with a neatly tied bow on top, unopened.
"Yeah, I got some for myself too," Yeona delicately took a macaron from her box and lifted it up to her eye level, "I don't usually like strawberry desserts but the more I eat these, they start to taste better. You might have changed my mind."
He watched her pop the pastry in her mouth before looking down at his, "...Eunmi hates strawberries."
"What was that?" She asked as she chewed on another puff. She couldn't hear the boy from how low he spoke.
"Nothing, thanks for the snacks." He smiled, taking a bite out of his.
They sat in silence for a while, letting the quiet atmosphere enclose them. There was a light breeze that blew, keeping them cool and relaxed. It was that time of season where it was becoming colder by night, but they were lucky that wasn't the case today.
"So," Taeyong broke the silence, "What did you want to talk about?"
Yeona looked down at her lap, her fingers fiddled with the outer rim of the box in her hand, "Um, I just wanted to... apologize? Talk out my feelings? In all honesty, I don't even know what it is."
"Well, I'm all ears."
Yeona took a deep breath before speaking, "I just wanted to start off by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for walking away from you, when you were probably hurting from finding out that I knew. I don't know why but I was feeling both hurt and sad that I couldn't even face you without breaking down. But now you know what happened with my cousin, so I guess those memories explain my behaviour that day.
"I'm not mad at you, if that's what you think. I don't hate you, I don't want to stop being friends with you. I wasn't mad at you, I could never hate someone who was just trying to look out for me, and I was too blind and stupid to see that. I'm more sorry for you than anything else. I wish I was there to comfort you, to let you cry on my shoulder, to be there when the nightmares came back. And that's what breaks my heart the most, was that I wasn't there for you."
"It's not like you were there when it happened," Taeyong whispered, "You don't need to blame yourself for not being there."
"I know, I just can't stop hating myself for being like this. But I just can't help it. I hate myself for being so rude to you, calling you shit load of names that probably hurt like bullets. I hate myself for ignoring every time you tried to warn me to be safe. I hate myself—"
Yeona was cut off short when Taeyong pulled her into a hug, making her teary eyes widen.
"Stop it." He muttered, holding her close.
"I-I'm sorry–"
"I said stop. Stop saying sorry. Stop blaming yourself for something that you weren't there for. You calling me names has nothing to do with this. My friends call me shit all the time, and I know you were just joking. I don't take it by heart, Yeona."
Taeyong was almost upset at the fact that she was blaming herself for this, the same way she blamed herself for her cousin, and he couldn't understand why. She was taking unnecessary hits for no reason, and he wanted her to stop.
She sat there quietly with his arms around her, letting his soothing voice calm her down as her heart beats heavily.
"Stop hating yourself, don't ever say that. It makes me feel bad even though we both know you had nothing to do with this."
"I just feel bad for you," She sniffled quietly.
"I know, and it's okay. Thank you for being here for me now, even years after it happened. And I don't hate you Yeona, I don't think I ever will... well maybe now since you made me cry again."
Yeona mouth parted and moved back to see Taeyong with his eyes brimming with tears, holding them back for as long as he could.
"O-Oh no I'm sorry Taeyong." She stammered, immediately regretting everything she's done to make him sad. Seeing him cry now broke her even more than the first time.
He let out a small laugh, using his sweater paws to catch his tears before they fell, "These aren't tears of sadness, I'm just being a little baby that's all."
"It's okay to shed tears, like Jungwoo said you can still be a man and cry once in a while," She smiled softly, "Showing a bit of emotion shows me that you really do have a heart under all that ice."
"I guess we both learned that we have a bit of human inside of us." He chuckled softly, smiling to himself.
Taeyong's eyes slowly shifted over to Yeona, her hair hiding her face as she looked down at her lap. "If it's okay with you, can I just let everything out? With the past few days my emotions haven't been right, and I just think it's time that I tell you everything."
Yeona turned to him, pushing her hair behind her ear, "You can tell me anything, I'll be here to listen."
Taeyong took in a shaky breath, before speaking up, "It was hard back then, just a few days after it happened. Not just for myself, but for my sister. She didn't want to leave the house for the longest time, and I don't blame her. I would come home after school everyday just to sit next to her, talk to her, comfort her. I would just do anything to help her become more comfortable again, I just wanted to be the brother I needed to be.
"There were times when she couldn't even look at me, as if she was ashamed. She trusted her boyfriend with her life, and from the look in her eyes I could tell she wouldn't be able to trust anyone the same ever again. It just made me want to protect her more. She used to be so strong, she was even tougher than me surprisingly," He smiled at the thought, passed memories playing through his mind, "But since that happened, there are times were I can still see the fear in her eyes."
Yeona focused on the grass, picking up a fallen leaf to distract herself from tears building up again.
"But like I said, my sister was a strong one, and she still is. She decided to stop hiding and to come out. She took the initiative to go to therapy and build herself up from the ground. She won't let anything or anyone break her down again, though I know she has her moments.
"She transferred to a different University where she made more trust worthy friends who have been by her side every step along the way. I can see a definite change since then, but it's a good one, a healthy one. In fact, she became close to her best friend, and for years he's been there for her. I trust him too, he's a good guy with good intentions. I'm just happy that they've been together for that long, and for even longer now, hopefully."
"Even longer...?" She raised an eyebrow, not understanding what he meant.
"He proposed to her last year, because of him she became her old self again," Taeyong smiled at that, a smile that Yeona wish he wore all the time, "I guess that's also why I'm not as hurt as you might expect me to be. Though it took a while for me to trust my friends again, I wouldn't talk to them for months; and of course it's still taking time with others. But she convinced me to put my feelings aside and to move on, the same way she did. But no matter what I'll still be overprotective of her, despite her being the older one."
Yeona shook her head, "No, that's okay. It doesn't matter who the older one is, you both still look after each other. To me, it shows that you really care about the person. I guess I have to thank you for doing the same to me– although the way you do it towards me can use some tweaking, not gonna lie. And not just me, but Eunmi is really lucky to have you."
Taeyong didn't know why but his heart stung from her words. But she was right, Eunmi was lucky to have him, right?
Eunmi was his girlfriend, someone he thought he can have a strong connection with. She was someone he got to know by learning and relating to each others interests and similarities. She was supposed to be his whole world.
But with Yeona, it was different. They were only friends but could get along so well despite having a few quarrels every now and then. They were more alike than he thought, going through similar situations brought this new light into their friendship.
They both had this connection, now an even stronger and meaningful one that he never thought they would have. The connection he had with Yeona was something he should be having with Eunmi, but he wasn't.
He sighed, picking at the grass, "Yeah, I guess."
"So," Yeona took the last strawberry macaron in her hand, observing its smallest details as if it was the most delicate thing she had ever held, "Eunmi really said that?"
It took a second for Taeyong to understand what she meant, referring back to their texts before shaking his head, "Yes, but I already said it's fine, I'm not bothered by it."
"It's okay if you're not fine," Yeona spoke in a small voice. She popped the pastry into her mouth before speaking again, "Just because we hate each other doesn't mean I don't care about you from time to time. You can always tell me what's on your mind, I'll be here to listen."
He flickered his eyes up at the sky, watching the clouds slowly moving by as if time slowed down just for him, and maybe that's what he wanted.
"I know you will."
________________________
if you ever need to vent or talk, my pms are always open and i give out free hugs. i love you guys uwu ♡
sjkskj y'all there are actually readers who changed their usernames just for this book you guys are wiLD