we walked into our flat and robbie said he was going to the bathroom.
so I decided to ring tori. I couldn't ring jade anymore.she has more things to worry about than me.
please pick up tori please.
"Hey cat" the sound of toris voice calmed me.
"tori I need help are you busy?"
"No I'm not busy what's up?"
"It's kind of a wiered question"
"It's okay cat you can tell me"
"well ive got this new feeling whenever I see robbie and when he kisses me the feeling grows stronger and makes me all weak."
"what do you feel when you get this feeling?"
"I get butterflies and like all I want to do is kiss him and never stop"
"Cat I think you need to tell robbie this feeling"
"Why?"
"you'll understand when you tell him"
"okay thankyou tori"
"It's okay cat"
then she put the phone down.
I made my way to the bathroom the door was open and robbie was stood in front of the mirror undoing his bow tie.
"Hey Robbie" I said going and standing next to him.
"Hey cat" he says struggling not undo his tie.
"come here let me do it" I say standing in front off him. and the feeling came back.
"Cat are you okay?" he ask running his fingers through my hair.
"I need to talk to you about something" I said putting his bow tie down and.leading him out the bathroom and on to a chair in the kitchen.
"Cat what is it?" he said asking worridly.
"It's this new feeling I keep getting whenever I see you."
"What do you mean?" he asked putting his hand on mine
I figited in my chair as the feeling seeked into me.again.
"It's everytime we kiss and whenever I lay eyes on you."
robbie looked confused for a minute then a smile grew across his face.
"What? What is it?" I preech
he rubs his hand against mine. the feeling was intense and I clenched my free hand under the table to hold myself down.
"does this make you get that feeling?" he asked me
"yes" I stammered
he grabbed my hand and sat me on his lap.
"are you getting the feeling?"
"y-yes".I stammered again this was too much.
he rubbed the back of my thighs slowly and I whimper a little in the feeling.
"you got the feeling?"
"ohh y y yes" I said trying not to moan.
he smiles and kissed me I was longing for this so bad.I grabbed his face and shoved my tounge in his mouth.
"got that feeling?" he asked panting.
"Yes!" I screamed kissing him again. I threw myself to hard though and knocked the chair back. I kissed him frantically on the ground.
I took his blazer off and throw it across the room.
"that's my best jacket".he jokes kissing me.
I start undoing his buttons on his shirt frantically.
I don't know why but the feeling was getting wilder by the second with every button I undid a little more crazier the feeling got. but I was begging to like this feeling.
I ripped of his shirt. panting frantically I looked at him and kissed him.
"have you got that feeling yet?" he smiles at me breathless.
"not yet try again" I lie kissing him again.
he sits up leaning against the fridge. my legs still wrapped around him.
robbie kissed my neck slowly.
I groaned loudly tipping my head back in pleasure.
"got that feeling?" he asked pulling away
"Yes but robbie what is thus feeling?"
he put his hands on my waist and looked me in the eye.
"Cat I'm-"
my phone cut him off. dam it!
"hello?" I asked annoyed.
"Your what no way!" I screamed down the phone.
"okay I'll see you soon" I said putting my phone down.
"who was that?" robbie asked rubbing my back.
"it was sam she's coming to L.A soon and wants to meet up if that's okay?" I asked.him nervously
" If it's okay with you it's okay with me" he says before kissing my neck the feeling came but it wasn't so intense.
"robbie I'm tiered can we go to bed?" I asked putting my head on his bare chest.
"oh urmm sure" he said he sounded disappointed but I was so confused.
I was laying in bed and waiting for robbie. I heard him mumbling in the bathroom so I got up to see what he was doing.
I peeped my head around the door way to see what he was doing. he was on the phone so I swung my head back round and decided to stay and listen.
" I don't know beck it's just I was ready then"
"No trust me she was to"
"how do I know how about the fact that she threw her self onto me and knocked us of the chair and then we laid on the floor and she stripped me.like thew my blazer and ripped of my shirt"
"Yeah man it was intense"
"No I don't think she understood what she was feeling because she kept asking what it was"
"Yeah I know what it was"
"look beck I don't want to come.on to strong but I think I need to.explain to her that it's okay to feel this way. and maybe I might even get round to that one day"
What!?'what was that?
"look beck I gotta go because cats waiting In bed and I know she won't sleep without me. that's what I love about her. she's so.cute beck I'm in deep love man."
that's all I needed to hear. I ran.into the bathroom and jumped on him kissing him.robbie dropped his phone I called hear beck down the line but I didn't care. I wasn't letting Robbie go. Not yet. robbies carried me to our bedroom and layed me on our bed. he was already shirtless so I had nothing to tug on.so I grabbed his back. it was so hot it almost burned. but then Robbie pulled away.
"Cat we cant do this not yet" he said kissing my cheek.
"okay robbie " I said getting under the covers. I was confused what was we going to do.
he cuddled round me and I felt warm and safe. I felt happy.like I was in his protective bubble. the bubble of love. it was my bubble and none way going pop it.
"wow cat Mac that feeling has really affected you."
"will you just tell me the feeling please" I asked jade
I couldn't stay away I knew I should but I couldn't jade is my bestfriend and always will be. mother or not.
"okay okay" jade said laughing her hands landed on her baby bump.
"Cat okay the feeling you got can only be turned on by robbie right?"
"Yeah" I replied
"Cat you love robbie and when two people love echother they get new feelings. you cat got a feeling that is very special."
"Yeah but what is it?!" I yelled I'm not patient.
"Cat robbie turned you on last night"
I stopped my heart beat got slower. I was so confused. but I knew what she meant. but then my face fell.
" No no im not ready no!" I cried just like I did when jade tolled me to tell robbie I liked him. I was panicking. No I can't no im 19 no.
"Cat it's okay what are you scared off?" jade said stroking my hair.
I can't tell her but she'll force it out of me anyway.
"I don't think I'm ready" I said
"Cat you are ready otherwise he wouldn't have made you feel that way" she said sternly.
"but that's not the real reason is it cat?" she said raising an eyebrow at me.
"No it's not" I cried harder.
"Cat come on now stop crying and tell me"
"the scars he'll see the scars and the bruises that never went away all the cuts he'll see them and he'll think I'm weak"
I cried even harder now
"the scars your dad left?" she said worridly
I nodded and rememberd the day I moved out.
the day she moved out………
"Cat get here now!" I heard my dad yell.
I took a deep breath and I knew I was in for a beating.
"Yes daddy?" I asked nervously.
"who is this!?" he yelled throwing a picture of robbie and me at me.
"that's robbie dad" I said quietly
"Why did you not tell me about this boy!"
"because he's just a friend daddy" I lied
" Yes I know he is just a friend because none will ever love you ever your ugly and a disgrace to this world and your so fat how would he hug you!?" he yelled bringing tears to my eyes.
"Yes I know your right" I said nodding my head and holding back the tears.
" of course I'm right I'm never wrong!" he yelled in my face
"of course dad" I whispered agreeing.
he punched me in my throat and made me choke a little.I got on my knees and he kiked me in my stomach.I layed on the floor crying. he pulled my hair and stood me on my feet.
"I hate you!" he yelled in my face again
he hit me in my nose causing blood to drain. I stood up and was ready to be beaten again like I usually do this might go on for hours I didn't know.
" okay cat let me tell you something robbie is the mist ugliest most disgraceful boy ever and he doesn't love you he Hates you and he is nothing and worthless just like you."
that's when something clicked inside me. something I never felt before. I felt anger .rage
I picked.up a vase and smashed it against my farthers head. he layed on the ground but I didn't cut him.not yet.
"robbie is not worthless and he loves me something you wouldn't no about the word.love hey would you!!"
I kiked his face and his nose started bleeding. I kiked him in the male parts and he was crying in aggony.
"you evil child!".he yelled trying to get up.
I kiked him in the chin and he crashed to the ground hitting his head on the table and knocking him cold.
I ran to my room and grabbed clothes that I owned I didn't own many my dad burnt most of them. I grabbed money I'd been saving hair brush toothbrush and phone and charger and Mr purples. and whispered
"goodbye room thankyou for helping me through." I cried I ran downstairs and out the door. I didn't stop running untill I got to robbies house.I was free at last I was free.
back to now
"Cat he will love you no matter what"
I look up at her and smile
"promise?" I asked nervously
"I promise" she smilled
"now come on im starving let's go get lunch" she said slowly getting up.
it felt to see her in this situation.
"bye cat and if your worried please call me I'm not going anywhere I'm always her for you"
"thankyou jade I'm always her to"
"bye cat mac"
"by jadey"
I walk down to mine and robbies flat to see him on the sofa waching titanic. that film bugs me. there's was so much room for Jack it's unreal.
"Hey beautiful" he says getting up and greeting me with a kiss.
I didmt get the feeling thank God.
"robbie we need to talk" I say sitting him down at the kitchen table.
"okay cat is this about that feeling?"
"Yes I know.What it is now and I know what it wants"
robbie looked at the floor awkwardly.
"I'm ready when you are" robbie smiles at me
I get up and walk over to him. I take my shirt of.
"whoa.Cat what are y-" he stopped when I turned around to show him my back all my scars all my bruises all my history on my back.
"Cat who did this to you?".he asks me with a serious tone.
I burst out crying and threw my shirt back on.
"Cat tell me" he asks raising his voice
"my my my dad" I said crying harder.
I start to tell him everything I couldn't look him in the eye.after about an hour I had finished telling him. robbie got up from his chair and hugged me. then he left and headed towards.the spare.room. when he came out he had a baseball bat.
"were are you.going?" I.asked him as he.came over to me
"shall we pay the parents a visit?" he asked putting out his hand.
I was unsure what he meant so I took his hand and headed out the door. I was going back. back to my past. back to my history. back to the hell. back to the start.
hey there sorry for piss take of an update
look at our horney little cat ;)
if you domt like the way I write don't read it simple as
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love yall xxx