Note: Happiee Diwali folks.
~ Love is like the wind, you can feel it even though you can't see it~
" Manik,We need to talk!", Nandini stood up, as soon as she saw Manik walking towards her, wiping her cheeks.
Manik walked closer, tilted his head to have a good look at her crying face, and then cleaned her cheeks with the back of his hand, resting his forehead over hers.
" We can talk, but without you crying too, right?", His voice was hoarse, and Nandini immediately looked up, she knew even the minute changes in his body language and voice, when he got really emotional.
She wiped her eyes, and tried to smile at him, but Manik forcefully pulled her lips into a smile using his fingers, finally making her chuckle at his antics, before melting in his arms.
Resting her head on his chest, she tilted her head to one side, so she could watch him in the eyes.
" Do you ever feel you should date someone else? I mean the girls out there die on you, for you! Do you not want to take a chance?", She asked in a muffled voice, trying hard to not cry again, but everything blurred around her when she felt his hold on her waist tightening.
" Never. I don't care about anyone else Nandini. No one else can be my love, for this life, for forever. I love you, and only you, hamesha!", He kissed her forehead, and Nandini this time, blushed, rubbing her cheeks on his t-shirt, making him laugh too.
" Nandini?", He called her, and she looked up again, but this time, astonished with the extra loving tone he had used.
" Don't deny the scholarship form? Uncle wants you to go. You want to go. Don't let me come in between your dreams! I will be with you, support you, always, maybe from far for a few years, but I will be there!", He tried convincing her, and her doe shaped eyes got filled again, as she crashed into his chest again, she didn't want to leave him.
Manik continued cajoling her, convincing her, but Nandini was adamant.
" I know you will be there for me, Manik. But who will be there for you here? I don't want you to be alone. I know you hate that!", Nandini cribbed and finally told him the real reason, after a hundred questions from him.
Manik laughed at it, though she could see the mistiness in his eyes.
" You will be there for me, even if you are physically away, I know", he kissed the top of her head, leaving no room for discussion. Nandini had to go, Manik knew he could never step in between her and her ability to excel, and he made sure of that. Nandini had to rest her case.
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In the next one month that followed, Nandini was very busy with all her travel preparation and Visa and stuff, but she didn't forget to message Manik every once in a while, if they could not afford to meet that day. Manik too made efforts, and at that point they felt like this ship of their long distance relationship would just sail fine.
Finally, the D-DAY came, and Nandini sneaked out of her house to meet Manik who was waiting for her outside her house. By that time, Nandini and Manik both knew that her Appa didn't like him, more like he detested him.
She ran into his arms, as soon as she saw him, and started to sob. Manik could feel his own eyes tearing, but he kissed her hairs.
"Hey!", He cupped her cheeks, and wiped her tears, lovingly.
" I don't want to leave Manik, what if you forget me?", She whined and Manik chuckled, before resting his forehead on hers.
" Manik can forget everything, but Nandini? Never!", He kissed her eyes, and she clasped her arms tightly around his torso.
" I am afraid Manik. What if it draws you away from me? What if you close yourself up Manik? I know you are not that open with others. What if I go away, and you meet somebody? What if-", she was about to blabber some more, when Manik put his finger on her lips, shutting her up.
A sigh escaped him, as he hugged her tight. She could feel the restlessness in his body language. In all that hastle, she had overlooked the fact that it was tough for him too.
" Nandini! I don't know you how to make you understand this. I won't find anyone else, for me it's either you or nobody. I can't bare myself to anyone else, ever. Nobody is going to pamper me, love me, handle me the way you do. And me closing up on you? I promise I will share everything with you, no matter I am happy or sad. No matter I am laughing or crying. You are my only go to person Nandini. Do you even understand that? The day I stop sharing with you, the day I step away from you, will be the last day of me. It will mean me losing myself completely. And you-", he stopped to take a breath between his monologue, and kicked the pebble, hard.
Nandini with teary eyes, cupped his cheeks.
" I am sorry?", She offered with her patent innocent tone, kissing his cheek, and he tightened the hold on his waist.
" You think I will find someone else Nandini? Rather, this entire time, I am going to live in the fear that you will find someone else, someone better. That you might move on from me! Dammit! I can't even explain this fear!", He kicked again, and Nandini had to literally calm him down by rubbing his back, and chest, again and again.
" I love you Manik, only you. Today, and forever. Hamesha!", She finally smiled at him, and he looked in her eyes, with a question.
" Hamesha?"
" Hamesha!", She sealed the assurance by placing her lips on his, and Manik who was literally waiting for it, kissed her back with passion, and emergency.
It went on for a few minutes, his hands caressing her waist and back, while she fisted the hair at his nape, pulling him closer.
" We have to stop!", Manik panted, and Nandini nodded, kissing his eyes one last time.
" I will miss you! Take care!", Manik whispered, his voice getting heavier, but he knew he couldn't go to the airport. Her Appa won't like it.
" You too!", She spoke with teary eyes, and ran back to her house, muffling her sobs.
Manik continued to stand in her porch, hiding behind their favorite tree until the car left, with Nandini and her parents.
"I love you Nandini", he spoke again, confessing to the wind, and a few kilometers away, the same wind caressed her hairs, through the open window of the car, and she smiled to it, as if she heard the message it carried.
It was going to be a tough two years!
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The first month went in both adjusting to it, them without each other. Nandini was in an entirely new place, and it took most of her time there, preparing for the thesis, assisting the scientist in searching the constellations and much more. To top that was the time difference between Manhattan and Mumbai, but Nandini ensured she would try and call him at least once in a day. It was tough for her, but she knew in her heart it was tougher for him.
One such night, when she came home, she Skyped him, but he didn't answer. A few minutes later, he voice called her.
Nandini picked up, but he didn't say anything. For a few minutes, they sat hearing each other's breathing, and his was laborious.
" Manik? Are you okay?", She finally broke the silence, and he clutched the phone tighter on the other side.
" No!", One word, and Nandini felt her heart crumbling. Not that she didn't have an idea before, but at times like these, she was so grateful for him being so honest and uncomplicated with his feelings.
" Hey! What's wrong?", She asked softly, and Manik felt a tear running free of the boundaries of his eyes.
" I miss you!", She could feel him crying, and that made her weep too.
" I know, I miss you more!", She cooed, wanting to know why was he feeling so vulnerable.
" Dad says I am going to be a disgrace to him, that me being into the theatre thing is going to make us be an object of laughter!", Manik spoke after a few minutes, and Nandini wanted to hug him in that second.
She knew what his dreams meant to him, especially when he was ready to balance both, his dream and his father's business for the sake of it, but this visible lack of support always unsettled him.
" Manik, you can't give up. I know you can handle both, just give it your best. Show them they won't be disappointed with this. Don't be heartbroken, please?", She tried to boost him up, and after a few more attempts, she was able to make him laugh at her antics.
" Uff! What are you going to do without me?", She joked into the phone, and she felt him laugh harder.
" Nothing much, just maybe succumb!", He answered in the same teasing tone, but Nandini knew it was not a joke, he was dead serious.
They both kept the phone an hour later, Nandini relaxed to know he was okay, and Manik feeling better at the thought of her with him.
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The next six months went in a blur with Nandini and Manik being extra busy with work, such that Nandini had to miss her vacation.
The only support that Manik had, other than Nandini was his younger step brother Mahir, who loved him more than anything. He helped Manik managing both theatre and office efficiently, filling up for him if and when he was late, helping him proofread the presentation and cheering him in his plays as he rocked the stage with his intense eyes and amazing dialogues. Mahir also was in off and on touch with Nandini, updating him about Manik and his well being.
The only issue being, Nyonika Malhotra was seeing this arrangement with an altogether different insight in her mind.
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Six more months passed by, and Nandini was happy she was going to get a two week long vacation next week. Moreover, she was itching to meet Manik. They had been fighting for the last few weeks now, blaming it on each other's schedule, and he had not called her for the last week, neither picked up his call. It unsettled her, for she could sense something was off. The last calls they had, he had been sounding grim, and hadn't spoken anything about it even when she asked.
That was a first. Manik never hid things from her.
The calls and messages had then started to decrease, and often he would reply with just 'Busy now, talk to you later'.
That was also new for her, because Manik never ignored her, no matter how busy or tired he was. For him, Nandini was his priority even before his own life.
It worried her, and as always, her worry took toll on her health. With high fever, and shivering hands, she lay in her bed, crying and calling Manik repeatedly. Slowly, her worry was turning into anger, and right at it's peak, her phone rang.
" Nandini?", Manik's voice was strained, and for the first time ever, she ignored it.
" I hate you!", She sobbed, and Manik sighed.
" I know!", He exhaled and that made her cry harder.
" You didn't reply to my messages, and you didn't pick up my calls. And you fought with me saying I don't have time....", She continued to complain in her sick, baby voice, dumping out all her frustration and worry, and Manik heard it all, agreeing to her, until she finally stopped crying.
" Manik, are we really turning toxic to each other?", Nandini whispered, her heart silently begging him to put her insecurities to rest, and her heart to peace.
But Manik didn't reply to her the way she wanted.
" Maybe. I am running busy with my work, and you are with yours. Our relationship is only taking a toll on us!", Manik spoke, his voice coming through the phone as in waves, up and low, and though her heart screamed that it wasn't so him, her mind was frozen.
"Manik?"
" I think we need to talk, Nandini, once you come back!", He spoke, and she had started to cry again then.
" Hey, hey! Nandini, you know I can't see you cry, right? Don't cry? You are my brave baby, na. I love you so much, don't cry!", There, his walls went down again, and Nandini felt the peace she was craving.
He loved her, he said it himself.
" If you love me, and I love you, why do we need to talk?", She whined, and complained, and sobbed, all together.
" Because right now, at twenty, our priorities are our Career and familes, Nandu. It's coming in between our dreams, can't you see that? You think I don't know why you feel sick? It's your worry, for me, for us. We are struggling with making time for each other, and when we do, all we do is fight, or crib. You could not submit the project on time, because you were worried sick about me, didn't you? It's complicating our lives, Nandini. I can feel that, and I don't want to end on a more bitter note. Are you listening?", He spoke in one breath, more like he was convincing himself rather than her.
" Nandini?"
" We will talk when we meet, Manik. I don't know how you got to know all these, but Let's not talk about it anymore, please?", She dismissed it all at once, hanging up on her.
Thousand of kilometers away, Manik rested his back on the head of the couch, closing his eyes, his mind clouded with thoughts that rang in his ear like drums.
" You are spoiling my daughter's life"
" She is sick because of you, she had been in a hospital, between injections and doctors. Do you understand that?"
" You are an added burden in her busy life. She can't sleep on time because she has to talk to you"
" You good for nothing lad, stop spoiling my daughter."
" If anything happens to Nandini or her dreams or her health, I am not going to spare you"
He jerked open his eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
" Bhai! Dad is calling you", Mahir stood in front of Manik, with sympathetic eyes, but Manik chose not to look at him as he got up, and went inside their father's room.
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In the next two weeks that followed, Nandini got a call from her parents everyday, mostly from her father, reminding her how she was expected to bring fame and prosperity to them, and not ruin her life for that 'theatre guy'. She was sick and tired of listening taunts and bad comments about Manik, and letting her parents blame him for everything.
She got sick, his fault.
She got less marks, his fault.
She didn't call them, his fault.
She had started to consider what Manik said, just for the sake of some relief for him, to save him from the continuous bad-mouthing. Maybe, it would be better for them, at this point.
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"Meet me at the beach, our place".
She read the message, as the driver opened the car gate for her as she airport.
It was time, she sighed deeply.
He was standing, near the shore, his back was facing her. It had started to drizzle, but for the first time, rain didn't bother her.
He turned at the sound of her anklet.
A deep sense of longing was visible in both their eyes. Manik looked so weak to her, his beautiful eyes were tired, his hair was not made, and his body language was different.
It made Nandini's decision only firm. They could take a break now, she was certain if their love was true, it would stay forever, until the circumstances are apt.
Manik leaned to kiss her forehead, where the drizzle was already kissing her.
In the next moment, both were on their knees, on the beach, crying loudly. Manik held her tight, she held him tighter, as both sobbed endlessly.
It was months of missing each other, the pain and longing, the desire and the passion..
Next second, their lips fused as they kissed in the rain, passionately.
For Nandini, it was their last kiss, before they would meet again.
For Manik, it was the end, for him, of him.
They didn't speak anything to each other.
" It's good bye then?", Nandini spoke, her eyelashes battling in the heavy rain, and Manik looked back at her, silent and numb, his eyes not showing her anything.
" Yes", one word escaped his lips, and she ran back to him, to hug him, one last time.
" We will meet again, in better circumstances, right? This thing is just a break! Haina? Manik and Nandini are forever!", She wept in his embrace.
He broke the hug, and cupped her face.
" Don't hold on to that hope, Nandini. We might meet, we might not. This is the end of us, for now. There is no forever! Just promise me, you will take care, and stay happy?", Manik spoke the longest since she arrived, and she was flabbergasted.
" Manik? No!", She cried and fought with him, but he didn't budge. She punched him, her hand colliding with his face first, then his chest, again and again, but he bore it all, until she started sobbing again.
" It's for our mutual good Nandu, someday you will understand my situation", he cupped her cheek, but she pushed him first, before resting her head on his chest.
They stood there in the rain, the rain getting heavier around them, but none cared.
Some time later, she looked at him, one good look, one last look, before taking her steps back, and running away.
Manik continued to stand in that rain, the last memory of her for him, until his body gave up.
" I am giving you a new life Nandini, away from me, a happy one, despite the fact its going to be my death", he spoke into the wind, and the rain, before his eyes rolled out, and he fell unconscious.