It had taken five days for Tommy to remember I existed.
It had taken twenty five minutes for me to realise I shouldn't have let Harry leave.
Sunday night was hard, just like Saturday night had been and Sunday morning until Harry had forced his way into my day. Every time I closed my eyes once I was alone all I saw and felt was him.
I hadn't had any way to get Harry to stay after dinner had ended, ended with him and Mum deciding they should be friends rather than him and me, I'd rolled my eyes at the two of them. But I was secretly very glad they liked each other.
That had resulted in five nights of fitful sleep that had me feeling like I was awake with my eyes open again. Work had picked up like it did every year and I was thankful for it. I didn't want to have any down time, I didn't want any chance to think about anything.
I knew I should go and see Tommy considering it had taken until today for him to remember he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who he'd forced into a disgusting and degrading act. A girlfriend who was still pretty mad.
Although as mad as I was, I was almost glad he'd turned up in the café on this grey Thursday afternoon, although he did have Zayn with him which wasn't ideal, Niall, Louis and Harry were also with him.
I still didn't know which one of them kept deciding to have their work "meetings" in the same café I worked in, but I didn't mind if it meant I got to see Harry even though we never got to actually speak, the discreet smiles were enough.
I suspected it was Tommy who decided they'd be held here, only so he could keep an eye on me.
"You're being called."
I jumped as Susan spoke to me and I raised an eyebrow at her, it was the first time since we'd hired her I got to actually spend one on one time with her and I had to admit, I wasn't a fan.
"Thanks." I murmured, I was her manager I had to be polite as possible. I sighed as I made my way towards the back table the five of them always occupied.
Thankfully, I was no longer in pain, unless you counted my sleep deprivation which I wasn't considering I never ever slept all that well, it was just the emotional pain left. I was still hurt and angry at Tommy.
I didn't quite know how to manifest though, I couldn't tell anyone what had happened and I also couldn't tell Tommy because I knew he didn't care and I had lied to him and hurt him so I knew he saw it as an eye for an eye.
"What?"
The word left my lips in a snap and I saw Harry raise an eyebrow but thankfully he kept his eyes on his mug.
"Don't take that tone with me." Tommy turned to look at me and I swallowed thickly but luckily my anger outweighed my fear as I stared at him with my arms crossed.
"Sorry," I stressed, "What can I do for you?"
I sent him a sickly sweet smile watching as Tommy narrowed his eyes at me, I didn't know what I was doing, it was like I was out of my mind but I was sick of him ignoring me for days until he wanted something or decided to have a girlfriend again.
"What's got into you sweet cheeks?" Tommy asked ignoring my own question and I raised an eyebrow at him knowing this was irritating him. If there was one thing Tommy hated more than disobedience, it was causing a scene.
"Nothing, I just have a very busy café and can't keep coming over here." It was only the second time he'd called me over. But today was the first time he'd spoken to me since Saturday.
"I don't like this attitude May, I just wanted to tell you that you look really pretty today." Tommy frowned and I felt my heart thud and I almost caved. "I don't understand why you're being so rude to me."
I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself but I held my tongue, I could see the smug tug in his lips as he smiled at me, he didn't think he'd done anything wrong.
I guess he hadn't but I wasn't used to holding this much anger inside of me.
"I like the polite and sweet May, who smiles and is friendly. That's the girl I fell in love with."
This wasn't love Tommy, and it made my stomach churn as I thought back to Harry and I's conversation on Sunday. I didn't know what love was, but I was pretty sure this wasn't it and I was sick of it. Whatever this was.
"Get out."
It took me a few seconds before I realised I'd spoken, but once I had I saw that everyone was now looking at me. Niall was the only one who looked uneasy, Louis had a stupid grin on his face and I almost felt like telling him to wipe it off.
Zayn was glaring at me almost as harshly as Tommy was and like usual I was struggling to read Harry but I was too scared to look at him for more than a few seconds in case it gave Tommy ammunition.
"What did you say?"
"Get out Tommy, just fucking leave." I hissed, I wasn't in control of myself. This wasn't me and I knew it but I couldn't seem to control myself. "Get out of my fucking café."
"Excuse me May, you can't tell me what to do." He retorted shaking his head as he stood and I automatically took a step back, cringing as he smirked at my reaction.
"Yes I can, I want you to leave. I don't want you here." I said.
"It's a free café May and I am your boyfriend."
"I wish you fucking weren't!"
My eyes widened as I realised what I had said.
"Are you breaking up with me?" He snorted and I licked my lips, was I? Did I even want to? I had no idea what I wanted.
Instead I shut my mouth and watched as Tommy narrowed his eyes and took another step closer to me and I sucked in a harsh breath as he lent in, his cold lips grazing my ear.
"I leave now and we're done." He threatened, "And you're nothing. I leave and I tell everyone you're a cheater. Everyone will know you fucked my friend and no one will want you because you're a dirty cheat.
"And why would anyone else love someone like you? You and me May, we're made for each other. No one else will want you."
I could barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears and I could feel my chest rising and falling harshly and in that moment I realised what he said was true. I didn't think I could be by myself again, I didn't want to be unlovable.
I glanced around the group to see everyone looking at the two of us still and I licked my lips as Harry's head raised to meet my gaze and I swallowed thickly.
"You know what sweet cheeks, I have to go anyway." Tommy drew my attention from Harry and I hoped that he didn't realise I was staring at him.
"You think about it yeah." Tommy patted my cheek and I flinched away from him, his hand reminding me of Luke's. Cold and harsh.
I stood there like an idiot as Tommy walked away from me with Zayn following him like a puppy and I felt like screaming as I realised what I'd done. Why was I such a fucking moron?
"May?"
I shook my head as Niall called my name and walked away from the three of them without looking back. I saw Susan looking at me as I walked past her tears filling my eyes as I locked myself in the office, breathing hard as I cried.
Why did I think I could do that? What on earth possessed me to think that I could tell Tommy off, I had no right and I clearly had no backbone or brain.
I sucked in a breath as I tried to control my tears, I still had another four hours to go, but I didn't know how long I had until Tommy's reappearance. A part of me wanted to not care, but I did. He was right.
I would be nothing without him.
+
I jumped my head snapping to the car door that was pushed open just as I passed it and my heart thudded in fear as I looked at it, my mind running as I thought about who it could be, either Tommy or Luke Jones.
I prayed it wasn't the latter but I also knew it could be someone wanting to kidnap me. Not that I was anything important but a girl walking alone in the dark was always an easy target.
"Sunshine."
I let out the breath I was holding as I heard and saw Harry leaning across the centre console of his car and I glanced around the street as I stepped closer to the open passenger door.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, chewing my lip as I hovered. I wanted to go home, I wasn't in the mood for this now.
"Taking you home." Harry said simply and I got in the car without a second thought. Who even was I now?
"You don't have to do that."
I didn't even know when he'd left the café but it wasn't long after Tommy left and I assumed it was when I was hiding in the office considering one moment he was there and then in the next, he was gone.
"And yet you're in my car sunshine." Harry grinned and I laughed nervously. I really would do anything for this man. Why wasn't I able to do that for my actual boyfriend?
"My favourite car." I hummed, watching as Harry shook his head and smiled at me.
"That is it." Harry nodded and I almost rolled my eyes, I still didn't believe I'd actually said that and also I didn't understand how or why I would have said that considering it was a car.
"So what was that all about?" Harry asked and I gulped, I should have known that's why he was here. I shrugged lamely as he pulled away from the curb and did a u-turn to head west.
"What was what about?" I played dumb.
"Sunshine come on." Harry groaned and I shut my eyes as I rested my head against the cold window.
"Is it really any of your business?" I snapped, harsher than I intended. Harsher than I ever wanted to be with Harry.
"You're my business so technically, yes."
My heart thudded and I felt my cheeks heat, just friends.
I watched Harry driving, his hand moving the gear stick every so often as his eyes flicked around the windscreen. I felt bad almost automatically and I sighed as I pulled my hair out of the bun and ran a hand through it.
"Sorry." I finally muttered, "We got into an argument last week and then it kind of spiralled on Saturday night and then he basically ignored me until today and I was mad." I explained half heartedly, I didn't really want to tell Harry.
"Does he do that a lot?"
"Do what?" I asked, hoping for some clarification.
"Pretend you don't exist."
"Okay ouch, thats not even what I said." I muttered, irritated that what Harry had said was true. "Yeah, he does."
"That's mad abusive May."
I swallowed thickly at Harry's words, I couldn't deny that I'd never thought about it, back when I wasn't that in love with Tommy, I had ignored all the red flags at first because I liked the attention. Then I thought it wasn't quite right, I'd ended up shaking it off. Even now, I'm pretty sure it wasn't abuse.
"It isn't. You don't abuse people you love." I shook my head.
"I don't think he loves you." Harry muttered and I rolled my eyes as he pulled up outside my house.
I couldn't give myself any room to acknowledge that comment. It would lead to dangerous thinking.
"We're not having this argument again." I muttered as I pushed the car door open, glancing at Harry who narrowed his eyes at me and I did it right back making him smile a split second later.
"Can I come in?" Harry asked, ignoring my statement and I was glad. I wasn't actually sure what was happening with Tommy right now.
"Wanna watch The Office?" I asked even though Harry had already turned the engine off, a shit eating grin on his face.
"Maybe I can even have dinner with your Mum again." Harry winked and I groaned as he followed me up the garden and I felt Tommy slipping from my mind.
I didn't care right now, I had fucked up earlier and I could deal with it later. Right now I wanted to relax and watch a TV show I'd seen at least three other times and as Harry smiled at me as he caught me looking at him, I smiled back.
This friendship was the only thing that mattered right now.