Chapter 64
Breaking the silence
"And you think I want this now?"
•••
December
Peyton
I know this moment should've have happened two years ago. I even had an opportunity to do it in the beginning of the year. But I didn't cause I was scared, but the truth always comes out. And maybe the outcome would be good.
•••
We were going to head down to Beverly Hills in a couple hours. Shawn had taken time off of work and we told his parents about going to Beverly Hills for Christmas. They agreed and would be there tomorrow. There was just one thing I needed to do before we left.
Something I had been procrastinating for the past two years to be exact. Fear coursed through my body as I tapped my foot on the pavement. I looked up at the tall building, remembering the last time I was here. I walked away and flipped off the building after just being fired.
"Did you want me to go up with you?" Shawn asked but I didn't bother looking at him.
I swallowed the nervous knot that was stuck in my throat, "No, I have to do this on my own."
"We could always do it when we come back love." Shawn offered seeing how nervous I was.
I shook my head, "No cause if I do I'll keep pushing it off. I need to do it while I'm here."
I looked at him and he nodded, "Ill wait in the car with the twins."
"Mommy where are we going?" Melody asked as I finally moved.
I held her hand in mine as we walked towards the building. I opened the door for us and took a deep breath. I could do this, it was like ripping off a bandaid. I walked over to the front desk and it was a different girl from who used to work here when I did.
"Hello." The young blonde said when she seen me.
I forced a smile, "Hi I need to see Nate McAdams."
"Do you have an appointment?" She asked as she typed on the computer.
I shook my head, "No I don't."
"Then you will need to make one and come back." She told me with a sigh.
I shook my head, "I can't, it has to be today. It's...urgent." I told her pleadingly.
"Mommy I wanna go with daddy." Melody said pulling on my arm.
The receptionist stood up and looked at Melody then back at me. She nodded and dialed someone on the phone.
"Mr. McAdams? Yes I know you said not to bother you. You have a visitor and she says it's urgent." The girl said on the phone.
She then hung up the phone and nodded for me to go ahead. I gave her a smile before I picked up Melody. I walked over to the elevator and got in, remembering which button to press. Almost like I have been doing this for the past few years and not the one week I worked here.
When the elevator got to the right floor I walked off slowly. Melody clung to me as many people looked at us. Nothing about this seemed familiar, well nothing besides the office at the end. I stood in front of the door and considered turning back and forgetting this ever happened. But before I could the door opened and a tall woman walked out.
She had jet black hair, fair skin, and green eyes. Her makeup and clothes were messed up, surely why he was bothered by the receptionist calling him. She moved past me and went to her desk, my old desk. I shivered at the thought of knowing he still has sex with his assistants.
I shivered mostly knowing I wasn't the first but became one of the many. I shook my head and walked into the familiar office. He turned around in his chair fixing his tie. When his icy blue eyes met mine he had a confused look.
"Can I help you?" He asked confused.
Say something idiot, "I- um....do you remember me?" I asked.
Nate leaned back in his chair and shook his head, "should I?" Still arrogant.
I rolled my eyes, "I worked for you almost two years ago. I was your assistant." I told him like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
He looked at me for a while before I seen it click, "Oh yes! Paisley right?"
"Peyton." I corrected.
"Right, So what can I do for you? Surely not another round since we remember the last time that happened." He said with a smirk.
Yeah I remember the last time. I lost my job and ended up pregnant.
"No, I came by because..." just rip it off, "Because I'd like you to meet your daughter."
That's when the first time since I walked in he looked at Melody. It was like she was invisible and it wasn't until I mentioned her he seen her. He looked pale and shocked, but it didn't last until he laughed.
"This is some joke right?" Nate asked.
I narrowed my eyes at him, "no, it's not. I wish it was unfortunately."
"What you trying to get money from me? Revenge for firing you?" He asked suspiciously.
I scoffed, "I don't need you money. I wouldn't show up two years later if I wanted money or anything to do with you. I just thought I'd give you the opportunity to meet her."
Nate looked at Melody but she was hiding her face in the crook of my neck. Nate went from laughing to stone cold in two seconds.
"Two years?" Was all he asked.
I nodded, "Yes, she's turning three in a couple months."
"And you think I want this now? You think I want responsibility over a kid? I told you when we met I didn't want kids. Should've gotten rid of it." He said it with venom lacing every word.
I shook my head, "No I didn't. I wanted to give you the opportunity so that years from now you'll never be able to say I didn't. But that's why it took me so long to tell you. Cause you're just the same, an egotistical, arrogant, deadbeat and you can rot in hell."
With that I turned around and walked out of his office. I was about to continue walking till I looked at his new assistant.
"I'd make sure you're on the pill or something. He's not trust worthy, soon you'll end up with a kid and he won't support you. Instead he'll fire you and tell you to get rid of it." I told her before I continued walking.
I got in the elevator and thought about the entire conversation. I knew he wouldn't want any kids, that's why I didn't tell him. But deep down I knew I'd always have guilt if I didn't let him know. I thought that maybe deep down if he wanted to know her he'd try. He'd maybe want to be in her life somehow. But no, he didn't. Instead he acted just like I thought he would.
But it hurt, it hurt when he said I should've gotten rid of her. It hurt because she's one of the best things to ever happen to me. And I can't imagine my life without her despite her being half his. I wished more than anything she wasn't anything of his though.
The elevator doors opened and I walked straight out. I was even more mad walking out today than I was two years ago. When I walked out and towards the car Shawn got out and walked over to me as I put Melody in her car seat.
"How'd it go?" Shawn asked.
When she was in and safe I closed her door and looked at him. Shawn cupped my face and wiped his thumb on my cheek. That's when I realized I was crying, I don't even remember when I started crying.
"What'd he say?" Shawn asked concern and anger bouncing in his eyes.
I shook my head, "Nothing I didn't already know."
"Then why are you crying?" He asked.
"They're not tears of sadness but of anger. I hate him, and I hate that she's his. I wish she was yours with everything in me I wish she was yours. Because she will grow up and one day we will tell her that her dad is an asshole who didn't want her. That is why I'm mad." I tell him truthfully.
Shawn just wraps his arms around me and holds me. I hug him like if I didn't I'd crumble cause it hurt. It hurt that I can't go back in time and meet him again before I met that asshole. That maybe I would've had his kid first, that she wouldn't have to be told she's not actually Shawn's.
But I can't turn back time. I cant change anything about the fact that she isn't fully ours. She will grow up and wonder why her biological father didn't want her. That why when given the chance to be in her life he didn't take it. But instead said he didn't want the responsibility and that he wished I would've gotten rid of her instead. That's what hurt me so much.
"She will thank you, she will thank you for giving him the chance. She will thank you for being her mother, and she will grow up having the best family. I know she will hurt a little when she knows the truth but she will love you more. She will be so thankful for you Peyton, cause you were willing to take on being a single mom for her. You are bigger than him and she will always know that." Shawn told me as he held me.
I nodded and felt him kiss the top of my head, "Thank you."
We pulled apart and he smiled, "For what?"
"For being the father she never would have had, had you not walked into my life." I told him as I smiled up at him.
Shawn smiled, "I love that little girl more than she will ever know. She is fully mine and I don't care what science says."
"I love you." I told him before I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him.
"I love you more," he said against my lips before he pulled away, "Now let's go enjoy our Christmas vacation."
We then let go of each other and he opened the car door for me. Once I was in he shut the door and I looked at the rear view mirror. I seen Shawn look up at the building and flipped it off with both hands. I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head.
He has no idea I did the same thing when I left it two years ago.
•••
I hated being right, in this situation I wished I was wrong. But I wasn't and it hurt. But it was okay, because I knew no matter what we'd all be fine. We'd all be happy.
It was easier this way.
Authors Note//
Another update literally an hour later??
Let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚