1:50am. It's silent. The only sound I can hear is the sound of the wind blowing ever so lighting from the fan beside me.
The ache in my heart intensifies, knowing that I am alone. That my mind is free.
You appear in my mind again. Despite it being the hundredth time, maybe two, I am still surprised. I am still flustered. Just from a thought.
A part of me wants to hold you close. But another part of me knows it'll never happen. I know it'll never happen.
The sad reality that... that I'll never get to hold you near....hurts... But there's nothing I can do.
I can hear the sound of a car passing by outside. The silence is almost deafening. But the beating if my heart, calms it down.
Is this what falling in love is like? Is this what yearning for someone feels like? Is this what wanting something so badly, but realising that you can't have it?
I am hugging my pillow right now. My eyes are slowly closing, my mind is starting to drift away...
My heart aches to be with you, but in life, some things can never be.
And that's just the harsh reality.
20.10.18