Ki woke up to a semi-normal sounding alarm.
What, no mainstream pop this morning?
As Ki turned to tell Lyra to shut her phone off, she realized the bed beside her was empty.
"Lyra?" She whispered, surprised the other girl would be up this early.
"Oh sorry." Lyra called from the bathroom. "You can shut it off, my phone's on the table."
"Oh." Ki said, noting the dull mannerism of her roommates voice.
What's got her in a sad mood?
Then the wave of realization hit her. Everything from last night was still unresolved.
When Ki came in last night after talking with Shori, Lyra was already asleep... or at least pretending to be asleep. Honestly, that's would Ki would've done too.
But that meant now Lyra was being awkward and cautious, and Ki didn't like that.
As Ki was picking up Lyra's phone to shut the alarm off, she came out of the bathroom.
She gave a really weak, fake ass smile as she looked at Ki.
Ki stuck out her phone towards her, maybe thinking that Lyra wanted it. Lyra hesitated and then grabbed it, nodding with a "thanks."
She slid the phone into the back pocket of her jeans and then knelt down to get something out of her bag.
She was being way too quiet.
Ki hated it with a burning passion.
"Lyra?"
She looked up.
"Are you okay?" Ki whispered, knowing very well that she was the reason she wasn't.
Lyra looked at her with a blank expression, almost as if saying 'you rejected me' through just her look alone.
She didn't respond. It's almost as if she thought it was a rhetorical question.
"Lyra... look I think we should talk..." Ki sat up on the bed.
"I don't think we should. Let's just forget about it okay? I don't want to freaking lose the closest friend I have over an accident." Lyra mumbled, standing up.
"Was it an accident?"
Lyra stopped in her tracks. She stared at Ki with a pained confusion. It's as if she was contemplating whether to admit it wasn't, or for the sake of their friendship lie and say that it was. It was an impossible decision. Lyra couldn't make it... so they ended up in silence.
"Lyra, I'm so sorry I reacted the way I did." She frowned. "I just... sometimes I get caught up in a situation and I get overwhelmed. You should know my brain doesn't exactly work to my advantage sometimes."
Lyra gave a soft smile and then looked back down at the bed, turning her face back into a frown.
"Doesn't change the fact that I overstepped... I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable." She mumbled.
"No, see that's the thing Lyra, you didn't make me uncomfortable." Ki sighed, staring into her lap.
"Oh... good? I guess we're cool then?" Lyra said, extremely confused as she brushed off the situation.
"Um..."
This wasn't where Ki wanted this conversation to end, but she didn't know what to say next. She didn't want things to be just friends between them, but she didn't know how to introduce the fact that she actually like Lyra. It had taken a lot for her to admit it to herself, and now she had to admit it right to Lyra's face! Ki struggled to find the words she needed. She didn't know how to say what she wanted.
She couldn't put it together fast enough so her instinct acted first.
"Yeah." She nodded.
"Cool." Lyra smiled softly. "Are you going to breakfast?"
Ki paused. She really just let that opportunity slip away. Her the back of mind she was smacking herself violently, angry that she had just ruined her chance to flawlessly come clean.
"Um. Yeah, yeah, I'll get ready."
Lyra sat down on the bed and looked down at her phone.
"Okay I'll wait."
————————
bitch #1 👿
are you guys coming back tonight? bc I swear ki if you aren't back on monday lunch is going to be hella lonely
delivered:
yeah we should be back around midnight
read.
bitch #1 👿
bless up
bitch #1 👿
sometimes I actually miss you not being around
delivered:
only sometimes?
read.
bitch #1 👿
yep. only sometimes
bitch #1 👿
but how's the trip?
delivered:
it's... fine
read.
bitch #1 👿
what's that supposed to mean?!
delivered:
it's fine.
read.
bitch #1 👿
that didn't sound too convincing
delivered:
it's complicated
read.
bitch #1 👿
you have to tell me when you get back then
delivered:
no
read.
bitch #1 👿
yes
delivered:
idk maybe but probably not
bitch #1 👿
bitch I am your best friend
bitch #1 👿
what the fuck happened that you won't even tell me
delivered:
nothing happened don't worry about it
read.
bitch #1 👿
I hate you
bitch #1 👿
ki wtf
delivered:
don't worry about it it's nothing
read.
————————
"Today is NASA day are you ready?" Lyra sat down across from her with a plate of pancakes.
"Yeah." Ki nodded, taking a drink. "Should be cool."
"Cool? Uh yeah, of course it's going to be cool!"
Ki glanced up to Lyra and smiled at her enthusiasm. Didn't take long for her to go back to normal.
Too bad Ki couldn't do the same.
All she could do was think about it.
Every time she looked at Lyra she wanted nothing more than to tell her how she felt, but something held her back every single time.
This was their last day.
If she didn't tell her today, it would go back to normal tomorrow. Just another day at school, back to being just friends, nobody would know a thing.
Maybe that's how Lyra wanted it.
But then why would she have kissed me first?
Ki was so confused. Her head hurt, her heart hurt, she just hurt all over and she couldn't identify a cause to the pain.
She had a chance to say something and she fucked it up.
Back to square one.
————————
After a long day walking around the NASA facility, and not nearly enough coffee, Ki and Lyra piled on the bus with the rest of the group to go back home.
The sun was going down by the time they left the city. It was cold outside, reaching temperatures lower than what she had felt all weekend long.
Ki wished she had brought another jacket. Leather wasn't exactly the warmest, and sweatshirts didn't cut it.
She shoved her complaints to the back of her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she slumped back in her seat.
Ki was sitting next to the window this time. They had switched places for the ride back. Ki didn't necessarily mind, but that also meant she was colder.
Lyra had her headphones in and was quietly looking down the aisle. She looked at peace, and not at all as tired as Ki.
Ki didn't want to distract her from listening to her music, but she also felt really weird ignoring Lyra. She wanted to talk to her... even if it wasn't about her feelings. The silence wasn't on purpose, but it was still killing her ever so slowly.
So she pulled out her phone.
delivered:
hey
Lyra's phone screen lit up. Ki glanced over to it. Underneath the time was the song girls/girls/boys from panic! at the disco.
Of course Lyra listens to panic!
Do all gays do that? Ki thought to herself knowing she and Shori loved the sound of Brendon Urie's voice just as much.
And then underneath the song title was the text she just sent.
ki :)
hey
Her name had a smiley face.
Ki smiled and looked away as Lyra picked up her phone.
lyra 💫
hello ki
delivered:
hi :)
read.
lyra 💫
is there a reason why we're texting?
lyra 💫
I mean instead of talking! not like because I don't want to talk to you...
lyra 💫
you know what just lets backpedal
lyra 💫
what's up?
Ki laughed as she looked down at her screen.
delivered:
sorry I didn't want to interrupt your jam session so I thought texting would do just fine
delivered:
I was just bored
read.
lyra 💫
ah yes the boredom™️
lyra 💫
is there something you wanted to talk about?
Ki thought for a minute. It would be cowardly of her to text Lyra her feelings while she was sitting right next her. That wouldn't be such a wise idea. What if it ended in disaster and they spent the remainder of the ride home in dead silence and awkward glances?
No. Not the time.
delivered:
not really.
delivered:
but uh how's your song? :)
read.
Lyra laughed, glancing over to Ki, who in return smiled as she stared out the window.
lyra 💫
it's good.
lyra 💫
how's your uh... tree watching?
delivered:
good. good. lots of uh... pines?
read.
lyra 💫
ah yes the pines™️
Ki looked at her screen and gave a confused grin.
delivered:
why did you do that lmao
read.
lyra 💫
idk I...
lyra 💫
you know what?
delivered:
what?
read.
lyra 💫
idk I'm out of things to say
lyra 💫
can I ask you a question?
delivered:
ask all the questions you want
read.
lyra 💫
ooh okay
lyra 💫
what's your zodiac sign?
delivered:
...scorpio
read.
lyra 💫
that's honestly...
lyra 💫
exactly what I expected
delivered:
what?
read.
lyra 💫
I've just figured you were a fall baby you have the personality for it
lyra 💫
wait...
lyra 💫
YOUR BIRTHDAY! I forget... when is it?!
delivered:
um
read.
lyra 💫
Ki tell me! Oh my god it's coming up isn't it?
delivered:
yes
read.
lyra 💫
if you tell me I'll answer a question in return
delivered:
you would do that even if I didn't tell you...
read.
lyra 💫
it can be a really good question
delivered:
oct 23rd
read.
lyra 💫
THATS FRIDAY!!!
delivered:
yeah
read.
lyra 💫
alright alright awesome :)
Ki couldn't help but smile at that stupid smiley face. She didn't know why she could actually stand the thought of someone else knowing her birthday. It was Lyra, that's why. Aside from Shori and Andi, the only person who knew her birthday was Acacia. She liked it that way. No one embarrassed her, no one got her things, no one gave her attention... it was great, she stayed in the shadows even on her birthday.
lyra 💫
now you get a question remember?
delivered:
right yeah let me think
read.
Ki set her phone down in her lap and looked at the seat in front of her. She had one question that she could ask literally anything and get an answer. There were too many options, too many things she needed the answer to. And she couldn't do anything related to last night because that would be awkward.
Fuck.
She settled her brain on a mediocre option and typed it out on her screen.
delivered:
what do you miss the most about florida/cuba?
read.
lyra 💫
well...
lyra 💫
it never got super cold like whatever the hell this weather is...
lyra 💫
and weekend trips to the beach
delivered:
you lived near the beach?
read.
lyra 💫
in both cuba and florida we lived really close to the shore line, but in florida my mom would only let us go to the beach on the weekends to make sure we were focused on school
delivered:
oh
delivered:
that sounds so... nice
read.
lyra 💫
yeah except when you got burnt and couldn't sleep for a week
lyra 💫
gabby once got so burnt we had to put ice packs on her back so it would numb the pain
lyra 💫
the sun gets really hot that close to the equator
delivered:
I know I used to live down that way too
read.
lyra 💫
oh yes right!
lyra 💫
what do you miss the most about texas?
delivered:
my dad used to take me to work with him. it was a lot of fun honestly. I'd go with him to the station every other day and play with their shoelaces and eat their snacks from the vending machines. then afterwards we would stop at mcdonalds and get ice cream right before bed
read.
lyra 💫
aweeee
lyra 💫
that's a lot cuter than mine
delivered:
sorry to out-cute you
read.
lyra 💫
I'll let it slide... just this once
lyra 💫
:)
Fuck. There she went again.
Ki's face burned as she couldn't keep the corners of her mouth down. No one smiles this much while just having a stupid text conversation. She wanted to get it together, but maybe she would let it go... maybe if Lyra saw how she was acting she'd get the hint that she liked her too.
delivered:
so...
read.
lyra 💫
so...
delivered:
how's soccer?
read.
lyra 💫
well I heard even though I wasn't there they won the game on thursday so that means we should be going to finals because we've only lost once
delivered:
really? that's good!
read.
lyra 💫
yeah :)
lyra 💫
it's in two weeks you better be there katashi
Lyra didn't call her Katashi... that was Acacia's thing. Ki didn't know why she found that a bit unsettling... maybe because she didn't want to put her on that same friend level. Maybe she wanted Lyra to have her own nickname to call her. It stuck out in her mind, but it was also completely irrelevant to the conversation.
delivered:
you bet your ass. I wouldn't miss it for the world
read.
lyra 💫
good :)
delivered:
good :)
read.
—————————
When Ki got home, all the lights were out.
She sighed kicking off her shoes after she closed the door quietly, trying not to wake up her sleeping brother.
She wasn't worried about waking Andi though, that boy could sleep through anything. Literally.
One time Ki threw remotes at him to get him to wake up and he didn't even budge until she hit him across the face with an xbox controller. Shori wasn't too happy about that. Apparently abusing the boyfriend was "off limits."
Whatever. Ki laughed in the back of her head as she carried herself up the stairs.
As she reached the hallway, she could see her brother's door cracked, the light from the tv still shining through.
Okay, so maybe they were awake.
Ki pulled out her phone from her jacket pocket and quickly glanced at the time.
12:58 am.
Well... maybe not.
She pushed her bag back up onto her shoulder and lightly walked down the hallway, passing her room and heading straight to her brother's.
There was so much she needed to talk about. Hopefully he was still awake to the flickering of whatever the hell Andi was making him watch before bed.
Probably some documentary on World War 2... those always put them right to sleep.
Ki crept up to the slightly ajar door and peaked in. On the tv there was a documentary about electric cars. So close. And on the bed, her brother and his fiancée were sound asleep, drooling into the pile of pillows behind them.
Damn.
It'll have to wait.