All of sudden I heard a whistling sound coming from somewhere behind me.
"And down he goes!" Someone exclaimed cheerfully, a short but loud laugh following.
"Someone drank a little bit too much!" The boy next to Noah said, getting another beer from somewhere on the other side of the couch. "Classic."
Noah chuckled at his words, turning to look at me just in time to see the confusion written all over my face. "Nothing to worry about Sierra, this stuff happens a lot at parties. Someone drinks a bit too much and goes down."
I gave him a little nod, a feeling of uneasiness settling into my chest when my eyes drifted to where Harry was lying. "Harry?" I called him hesitantly as the other boys went back to chatting amicably, their drunken state causing them to laugh at the most random things, that they kept addressing as if they were the funniest in the world.
Harry didn't move or give any sign of having heard me, so I leant forward slightly and called him again, but with the same result.
"Harry!" I said louder, standing up and reaching him in fast strides, nervousness starting to lace my words. I fell down on my knees, putting my hand on his shoulder and shaking him lightly. "Harry?" I called him, taking advantage of our closeness not to shout his name again. I studied his face carefully, waiting for some kind of response that didn't come. I widened my eyes, the nervousness that was bubbling up in my chest blooming into pure panic at his lack of reaction. "Something's wrong!" I shouted to overcome the sound of the music, turning my head to look at the cheering boys sitting on the couch.
The majority of them gave me empty stares, far too drunk to even realise the danger of the moment, but the brown haired boy that was sitting on the armrest shot up and slid next to me fast, the look in his eyes matching mine.
He turned Harry's body around so that he was laying on his back, his fingers hurriedly pressing against his neck to check his heartbeat. "Is he breathing?" He asked fast, grabbing the beer bottle from one of the sitting boy's' hands.
I hovered over Harry's face, trying to remember what I was supposed to do from that one class I'd had a couple of years before. "A bit?" I said, the words feeling stale as soon as they came out of my mouth. "I don't think he's breathing right" I added, hesitance mixing with apprehension in my voice.
"Someone call 999!" The boy shouted while wetting his hand with the beer that was left in the bottle, glaring at the boys on the sofa when he noticed nobody was doing anything. "For fuck's sake Noah, get off your ass and call 999!"
Noah looked up when he was addressed directly, confusion into his light grey eyes as he took in the boy's worried state, the message finally making it through the cloud of leftover excitement and drunkenness as he stood up with his phone in his hand and disappeared in the other room.
The brunette patted Harry's cheek with his wet hand, frowning when he still got no reaction. "For fuck's sake, Harry" he huffed, checking his pulse again.
I stared at Harry's closed eyes, unconsciously waiting for them to open, a frown on my face as I went over my memories of the whole night to understand when it all had gone wrong. But they didn't open, and I was left to stare at him, the sounds all around me becoming muted as I waited for something - just something, to happen. Anything that could've broken the trance everything seemed to have just fallen in.
All of sudden my forearm was grabbed harshly. "Sierra!" The brunette boy shouted, getting my attention as we hovered over Harry, on opposite sides of his waist. "Did he take anything? Did you see him take anything?" He asked fast, and I shook my head.
"No" I said, starting to doubt my own words.
He let out a nervous sigh as soon as I spoke. "Were you with him for the whole night?"
I was about to nod, but furrowed my eyebrows as I traced back everything that had happened that night for the millionth time. "He went away for like, twenty minutes or so" I said, hearing my own voice as if it didn't even come from me.
"Was he alone or with someone?" The boy said, hovering close to Harry's face to check his breathing again.
"Uh..." I said, trying to remember the best I could, feeling as if all my memories had just been wiped out by the situation we were in. "Zayn" I said after a couple of seconds. "He was with Zayn."
"Fucking hell!" He exclaimed, an edge of anger in his voice, that was suddenly wiped away when he checked Harry's pulse again. "I think it's getting worse" he said, his voice small. "Where the hell is Noah?"
I widened my eyes at his words, starting to pat Harry's cheek nervously, hoping that the touch would've made him open his eyes. I stopped after a while, my gaze still fixated on Harry's face, feeling the beat of the music run after the heartbeat in my chest, but not being able to hear it.
After what felt like an interminable time spent watching the lights hit Harry's face intermittently, I was suddenly pulled up and forced out of my thoughts as three people rushed past me to get around Harry.
I freed myself from the grasp of whoever was standing behind me harshly, taking a step forward as I turned my head to look at them, discovering that it was the brunette boy, who had left Harry's side somewhen while the paramedics made their way through the room.
I started to tap my foot on the ground nervously, my stare fixated on what was going on in front of me, but my mind too distracted to catch more than a cluster of shadows moving around in sharp movements, feeling as if the sickening weight I was feeling on my chest could've swallowed me whole.
"I think they're about to go" the boy said after a while, making me realise something.
"Niall!" I said, widening my eyes as I realised that he still hadn't come back.
The brunette took out his phone fast, dialling the number and bringing it to his ear, waiting patiently for some seconds before closing the call. "He isn't answering" he replied. "Let's do it like this, you'll go with Harry and I'll try to find Niall and get him to call you as soon as I discover where he's at."
I looked up, realising that they were taking Harry away, not giving me much time to make a decision. "Okay. Thank you..." I let my words drift away, realising that I didn't know what was his name.
"Oh, I'm Liam" he said, and I gave him a little nod before rushing through the room to follow the paramedics.
• • •
The ride to the hospital passed by a blur, seconds melting into minutes and houses melting into buildings in a cluster of messy images in my mind.
Before I knew it I was following Harry's gurney into the hospital, soon being stopped by a nurse.
"Wait here, darling" she said kindly, pointing at the chairs of a mildly crowded waiting room. "Your boyfriend is in good hands."
I sat down, her words bringing me out of my confusional state and putting a frown on my face. "He's not... my boyfriend" I said lowly, a feeling I couldn't quite identify starting to spread inside my chest.
"My bad" the middle aged woman said, going back to what she was previously doing fast.
I put my feet over the chair, bringing my knees up to my chest and staring at the dull-coloured floor with a stunned look on my face. I started zoning out, the sounds going off around me starting to mix together into a confused mumble as the edges of the room around me started to become less and less focused as a silent whiteness took over my mind.
I blinked a few times, trying to get out of my daze, wrapping my arms around my knees in confusion. I stared at the people walking by, feeling as if everything around me had a surreal essence to it, almost as if it was everything part of a conscious dream. The kind of weird stuff you dream right before waking up in the morning, so unbelievable that you can't help but realise how deeply untrue it is as you live it.
I jolted when my phone started vibrating in my hand, scrambling to answer to the call as I recognised Niall's name flashing on the screen and slowly bringing it to my ear.
"What happened?" I heard Niall's voice say into my ear, loud enough to overcome the insisting sound of the music on the other side.
"I..." I said, my words dying in my throat for a second before I could put a sentence together. "He just... went down, I don't know-"
Niall interrupted me before I could say anything more. "I'm coming right now. Text me the name of the hospital and where you are" he said, closing the call.
I opened a new text message and typed in all the information he had asked for, sending it fast and locking the phone again.
I closed my eyes and I leant my head back on the wall behind me, tuning out at best all the sounds around me, trying to pretend for a few seconds that I wasn't where I actually was. I sighed when I wasn't able to do it, opening my eyes again and trying to fight the sudden need to throw up, starting to get a dull headache from the bright lights of the hospital. I took a deep breath as I tried to understand how I was feeling. The shock from all the things that had happened that night still hadn't left me, and I couldn't help but feel as if everything that was going on wasn't truly happening.
I soon found myself staring at the opposite wall again, all of sudden finding something of so interesting in it, but that I couldn't quite put my finger on.
It felt like hours before I saw Niall walk towards me, a worried look on his face.
"Heard anything?" He asked, sitting next to me fast.
I shook my head, and he sighed.
"What the hell even happened?" He asked again, brushing his hair back nervously and leaning against the back of the chair, his fingers anxiously tapping on the seat.
"Liam thinks he overdosed" I replied quietly, moving my gaze to the floor again.
Niall sighed loudly, his gaze drifting off somewhere on the other side of the room. "Have you seen him take anything?"
"No" I replied faintly, a sudden shiver running down my spine despite the warmth inside the building and making me realise that I had left my coat at that house. I wondered if I would've ever got it back. I didn't even know the address. "But he went away with Zayn for a while."
"Fuck" The blue-eyed boy said with an exasperated groan.
"Liam said the same thing" I noticed feebly, giving him a side glance.
He sighed, distress showing in his actions. "Zayn brings stuff to parties sometimes."
I nodded slowly, taking in his words. "Is Harry... Does Harry take drugs habitually?" I asked him nervously, fearing the reply.
Niall shrugged. "Not really. I think I saw him high three or four times in the past year or so. He must've been nervous, or Zayn had good stuff."
I took in a shaky breath as Zayn's words as he'd taken Harry away came back to my mind.
I might have something interesting.
I heard Niall take another deep breath and I put my hand on his forearm, leaving it there for just a second before going back to gripping the edge of my seat. "He'll be fine" I said slowly, trying to ignore how circumstantial my words sounded. I myself couldn't even truly believe them, their falsity not doing much to soothe our nervousness.
I put my feet off the chair, making sure they hadn't ruined it, going back to staring at the opposite wall in silence.
It felt like ages had gone by when a doctor walked in the waiting room all of sudden.
"Family of Harry Styles?" He asked, looking at the name on the chart he was holding.
I stayed where I was as Niall walked towards him, looking at the floor as they quietly spoke just out of the entrance of the room, not wanting my mind to create conjectures over what was going on from Niall's reactions.
After a while Niall came back, sitting on the edge of his seat and waiting to get my attention.
I slowly looked up, fearing what he would've told me, feeling as if my heartbeat had become exponentially louder as the seconds ticked by.
"He overdosed" he said lowly, seeming to take in the words as they came out of his mouth.
I gave him a slow nod, feeling my anxiousness increase with the anticipation of what would've come next.
"He'll be fine though" he continued, the corners of his lips imperceptibly turning up at the good news.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as soon as I realised what he'd said, a sudden calm settling up in my chest.
Niall stood up. "We can go see him."
I stood up as well, closing my eyes to battle the sudden dizziness that came over me as soon as I got up on my legs, noticing that some time had passed since I'd first sat down.
I followed Niall, my gaze on the ground, until we reached a room. Niall entered first, and I slowly walked in behind him.
There were two beds in there, one of them empty. The light was a bit dimmer than the bright one in the corridor, enveloping everything in warm cream colour and mild shadows. After I took in the room, I noticed Harry's lean figure on the bed. He had been changed out of his clothes, and was wearing a hospital gown of a pale blue. He was a bit pale, but he still looked way better than how we'd last seen him. I shivered at the remembrance. The only sound in the room was the one signalling the beating of his heart, and the faint one of his breathing. A deep quietness seemed to envelop the room as soon as I realised that he was sleeping, completely unaware of the gravity of the moment.
Niall sat on the chair next to him as I hesitantly approached the foot of the bed, putting my hands on the plastic footboard and looking at him, not really knowing what to do.
We stayed there in silence for what felt like hours, none of us daring to break the silence or move a muscle not to break the peacefulness of the moment with the heaviness of what had happened.
After a while Harry turned his head letting out a little whine, blindly reaching to remove the tube attached under his nose as he slowly came to his senses.
"Quit that" Niall said somewhat harshly, grabbing his wrist not to mess with the IV in the back of his hand and forcing him to make it fall back against the mattress.
Harry gave him a confused glance as he took in the hard tone he had used, blinking a few times, seeming to try to get rid of the tiredness in his eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked, his voice coming out somewhat choked. He cleared his throat, wiping one of his eyes with his index.
"What's wrong?" Niall blurted standing up fast and making the chair screech back, not seeming to be able to hold in his annoyance anymore. "Are you seriously asking me what's wrong?" He snorted angrily. "Are you aware of the mess you just put yourself into? You fucking overdosed, Harry!" He said loudly. He silenced himself fast, seeming to realise that starting to shout in a hospital wasn't exactly smart. "You gotta stop with this self destructive behaviour, Harry" he continued lowly. "Mum's gonna freak out when she finds out."
Harry took in a sharp breath, but didn't give him any kind of reply, which just seemed to enrage Niall more.
"You're a mess, Harry. You're a fucking mess, at least recognise that."
"Niall" I said fast as soon as he spoke those last words, not finding it fit for him to have that kind of one-sided conversation with Harry in that moment. "We've all had a long night."
He sighed, seeming to calm down a bit when he was reminded of the current situation. "I'm calling mum" he said somewhat threateningly, staring at Harry straight in the eyes. "And you know she'll freak the hell out." He left the room as soon as he finished speaking, leaving me alone with a tired looking Harry.
"How are you?" I asked quietly, not wanting to bother him with a loud sound in case he wasn't feeling good, not daring to move from my position.
He let out a low groan. "Ask me another time" he replied groggily, and a chuckle came out of my throat at his reply.
I pursed my lips as soon as I emitted the sound, looking down, scratching the rough plastic surface of the footboard with my blunt nail.
"What time is it?" Harry murmured tiredly, making me wonder the same thing for the first time that night.
I took my phone out of the pocket of my jeans and unlocked the screen, discovering that there were many missed calls from my mother. "Four in the morning" I replied, and he gave me a little nod. I sighed, going back to looking at my fingers on the footboard. "You really scared him, you know."
He let out a little sigh, but didn't reply.
Niall came back in the room. "I called mum, she's coming and dad too" he told Harry, before looking at me. "You can go home if you want, Sierra. It's almost five in the morning, I can't ask you to spend the whole night in here."
I gave him a faint nod. "I'll call my mother" I told him before going out of the room.
I walked down the corridor until I was sure I wasn't standing in front of any patient's room, taking my phone again and dialling my mother's number. She picked up after the first ring.
"Oh my goodness Sierra, where are you? I've tried to get a hold of you for the whole night."
I looked at the floor, feeling a pang of guilt hit my chest as I took in how worried she sounded. "I'm at the hospital" I replied as quietly as possible.
"What?!" She said, shocked, and I widened my eyes.
"A friend had a problem" I replied fast, not wanting her to understand the wrong thing.
"Oh" she said, and I could feel the anxiousness leave her voice. "Are they okay?"
"Yeah" I replied. "Can you come get me?" I asked her.
"Sure thing. Text me where, I'll be there soon."
"Thank you" I said, closing the call and sending her a text before walking back to Harry's room.
A little smile formed on my face as soon as I entered and discovered that both Harry and Niall were sleeping, the latter sitting on the chair, his head on the mattress next to Harry's legs.
I retreated in a corner of the room, leaning my back against the wall, my eyes not leaving Harry's sleeping figure, a feeling of unnaturalness settling in my chest at the situation we were in.
After a while my phone buzzed and I looked at the screen, discovering that it was my mother letting me know she'd just arrived and that she was waiting for me in front of the main door.
I walked towards the bed and put my hand on Niall's shoulder, shaking it lightly to wake him up. "I'm going home" I told him quietly not to wake Harry up as soon as he opened his eyes, and he nodded.
"I'll make sure to text you" he said, yawning.
"Goodbye" I whispered, walking out of the room as he sat up to avoid falling asleep again.
I exited the room, giving a small forced smile to the couple I found standing outside talking to the same doctor of before, before making my way out of the hospital.
I got to my mother's car after a short walk in the freezing cold of the night, wrapping my arms around my middle to keep myself the littlest bit warm.
She gave me a glance as I sat in the passenger seat, but sensed that I didn't want to talk, so she stayed quiet and started the car.
I found myself staring at the passing shadows out of the window, trying to make sense of what had happened.
Artwork hit 100k! This is absolutely incredible, thank you so much. x
Miki