The first thing that I noticed when I woke up, was that I was warm. Actually, not just warm, but hot. Unpleasantly hot.
I kicked off my comforter, blinking against the stream of sunlight emerging from the slats in the shuttered windows.
I'm still here.
In a way, I knew I knew I would still be here, but it didn't stop the slight shock. Or the sinking, disappointed feeling that formed in the pit of my stomach.
I was still in Goryeo. That meant that it couldn't be a dream. I sat up, and immediately, my head began to throb. Another reminder. I was about to sink back into my pillows, when the door creaked open. "Ah, Miss! You're awake."
Chung-Hee set a covered tray on the vanity, before strutting over to me and propping up my pillows. "You were already asleep when I came in last night to bring your dinner, so I thought is was better not to wake you." She helped settle me back onto the cushions. "Does your head still hurt, Miss?"
"A little." Actually, quite a lot.
"I expected it would," Chung-Hee's tone managed to be both sympathetic and grim at the same time. "Such a bump you have on the side of your head...but no matter. We'll just cover it up with a piece of your hair, today."
"Great," I mumbled.
Chung-Hee's grin turned slightly mischievous. "Take advantage of it, Miss. It isn't everyday that you can rest, with no one disturbing you." She poured a cup of something from a teapot on the tray, then handed it to me. "Drink this, Miss. It'll help your head."
I obeyed, taking a sip after blowing a bit of the steam off. "Mm, that's good."
Chung-Hee smiled, obviously pleased that I liked her tea. "A secret recipe. Although I'm sure you can guess what's in it."
As I took another sip, I realized I could. I caught a hint of rose, and also something citrusy. It was a familiar scent, though I couldn't place it.
"And I brought you some breakfast too. You must be hungry, since you didn't eat last night."
"I am," I admitted.
Chung-Hee brought the tray over to me, placing it on the side table beside my bed.
"Eat up!"
As I started on the bowl of soup and rice—Chung-Hee thought something light would be better after I'd hurt my head--Chung-Hee busied herself with tidying the room and opening the shutters. She set a new pair of robes at the end of my bed. "After you are done eating, I'll help get you ready for the day, Miss."
Sure enough, as soon as I was done, my tray was whisked away, and Chung-Hee led me to the vanity table, where a bowl of rose water was waiting for me. She helped me clean my face, before helping me out of my old robes and into my new ones. Admittedly, even though it was weird having someone helping me dress and undress, Chung-Hee was clearly a professional, and having her help me was almost like having my mom or my grandma nearby—even if neither had helped me dress since I was about five.
As a final touch, Chung-Hee helped me fix my hair again, this time pinning it into a braided bun with floral clips. When she was finished, she held a mirror up for me to examine her work. As always, she made me look beautiful—but that didn't distract me from the fact that I wasn't me. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw an image that was different from my normal self.
"Chung-Hee?"
"Yes, Miss?"
"I don't think I belong here." My bottom lip trembled as I spoke, but it felt good to say the words out loud.
Chung-Hee bent knelt down beside me. "Of course you do." When she saw that I was going to protest, she interjected quickly. "Prince Chi sent for you, so you're meant to be here."
I sighed. But why did he send for me? Or rather, for Ha-Na? "You know, Chung-Hee," I treaded carefully. "Prince Chi never really gave me the details of why he sent for me. Do you know why he sent for me?"
Chung-Hee paused, deep in thought. "Well, I don't know the specifics..." she began.
"That's ok," I tried to not seem over-enthusiastic.
"But you are well know, in your hometown, for being as good at herbs and flowers as your father. As good as any physician. Better, even."
"Thanks, but I doubt it." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my tone as I thought of my own, failed botany career.
Chung-Hee didn't ask me what I meant or question me any further, but she flashed me a mysterious grin. "Well, the prince will be here in a moment. Why don't you ask him?" Just as I was about to ask her what she meant by that, I heard a knock at the door. "Come in, Your Highness!" Chung-Hee called.
"How..." I began to ask her how did you know he was coming? when he appeared.
"Thank you, Chung-Hee." He nodded at Chung-Hee, who bowed at me.
"All done now, Miss." She pressed a small vial of something in my hand. "Just sniff that is your head hurts again." And with a final smile at me, she whisked herself out of the room, leaving me alone with Chi.
I swallowed, staring just a little too long at the vial as I decided what to say. How am I going to pull this off? I wondered. If it seemed both a strange and hopeless situation in my confusion and exhaustion last night, it felt even more so now. "I..." I started, though I wasn't sure how to finish.
I was spared from having to come up with an ending to my statement when Chi knelt beside me. He was quite tall, so he had to bend pretty far to match my sitting height. "How is your head, Ha-Na?"
This I could answer. "It's ok."
Chi's hazel eyes mine. "Honestly?"
"Well, honestly, it hurts a bit still if I move to fast, but it's not excruciating. I'll live." Truthfully, I didn't want to add that I didn't mind the pain. It reminded me that I was alive, and that, somehow, this was real—whether it seemed like it could be real or not.
"Maybe you should take today off."
"No!" I blushed, realizing I sounded way too sharp. There was nothing I hated more than someone suggesting that I couldn't do something. But when I finally could push the shame away long enough to meet Chi's eyes again, I only saw compassion, not challenge. "Sorry," I slowed my speech down. "It's just that I really am fine, and I don't want to waste any more of your time. Please let me do what you asked me to come here for."
Chi nodded, and his lips curved into an easy, forgiving smile. "I only wanted to make sure you were alright to leave your room today. You could stay and have some more rest. But," he added, seeing my reluctance to sit still, "I hadn't planned on making you work hard today, or any day, either." He placed a hand on my shoulder, and even though I usually don't love being touched—especially by male strangers—somehow, I didn't mind. "I didn't really explain why I asked you here, did I?"
"Well...no."
Chi grinned again. "I'm sorry about that. I wanted to talk to you in person, rather than have my letter get misinterpreted." His expression turned more serious, the corners of his eyes turning downward. "There are many things in the palace that can get misinterpreted. Dangerously so."
I felt one of those odd, sudden chills that I'd had since arriving in Goryeo. Even if it felt unreal, I had to always remember; I wasn't safe here.
Chi seemed to brush off his last statement. He smiled at me again, but this time, it didn't seem as easy. "If your head's not too bad, why don't we take a walk? I can explain more outside, I think."
"Ok. I think fresh air is a good idea."
Before I could get up, Chi's hand slipped from my shoulder to my hand, his fingers forming a protective cocoon on top of mine. "Ha-Na, I often wondered if it was fair to bring you back to the palace, to palace life. To reassure myself, I made myself a promise that I would be here for you. Now, I want to make that promise to you in person. It might be difficult for you here...you know, my aunt..." He didn't need to follow up on that—we both knew that my encounter with his aunt had been bizarre, to say the least. "But I promise to help you, in any way I can, while you're here."
I considered his promise. Generally, I didn't like promises—they're easily broken. But there was something in the way that Chi's open, unflinching eyes and the steady quietness of his voice that told me that even if he couldn't prevent every bad thing that could happen to me, he would try his best. By accepting his promise, that meant, I realized, that even if didn't give him the whole truth of who I was, I had to also remain at least partially honest with him. "I...I trust you," I said.
Chi's shoulders relaxed with my words. He gave my hand a little squeeze. "Thank you. I promise that I'll do my best."
"I know you will." I swallowed. "But I'd be lying if I said...the queen...your aunt...she..." I swallowed again. I'd never admitted to being scared. Ever. "She scares me, a little."
Chi's expression was grave, though his smile was reassuring. "She does that to most people."
"But then, why..." How could finish without giving away that I didn't remember my—Ha-Na's—past with the queen.
"Why does she seem to single you out?" Chi finished my sentence. "My aunt is...like I said, she doesn't like it when people get in her way. When you were young, you were also very spirited. Not much has changed, actually," he added, humour lacing his tone, before he grew more serious again. "Why don't we take that walk now? I'll explain everything to you then."
I nodded. "Ok." As I began to stand up, I felt Chi's fingers entwine through mine, supporting my weight as he helped pull me to my feet.
"Ready for your first day back?" He asked.
I wished that I was.