Ethan's POV
i couldn't remember the rest of the phone call. most of it was all a blur. after i hung up the phone, i look at emma.
"what's wrong?" she said, upset. she was concerned, confused as well.
"grayson's in the hospital.." i reply. i shake my head and start to stand up.
"wait we have to pay for the fo—" she begins. she stops and follows me. i was walking kind of fast, i felt her grab on to my hand.
"we have to go.."
she walks in front of me and unlocks the car. neither of us say a word the whole there. she looks up the directions to get to the hospital. i start to stress out. is he still alive? how did he get hurt? what if he doesn't want to see me?
emma must've saw how worried i was because she grabbed my hand, pulling it closer to her. when i look at her, she smiles. i couldn't help but smile back. i haven't really been talking to grayson, which is what emma doesn't know. when we arrive, i take a deep breath. as we walk in and say my name, and who i needed to see. the lady up front gives us the room number.they open the door for us and i could feel my hands getting sweaty. the lady leads us to the room.
"it'll be okay ethan."
i nod my head. will it though? what if it's my fault?
when she opens the door i saw grayson sleeping on the hospital bed. emma and i introduce ourselves and start talking to the nurse.
"is he dead?" i ask.
the nurse laughs. "no, he's just tired."
before she could explain what had happened to him, bryant comes in.
"you guys came finally! sorry i didn't get time to call you guys." he hugs the both of us.
"hi bryant." emma and i say in sync.
i put my attention back on grayson. i walk over closer and saw his hand all bandaged up. thank god it wasn't something extremely serious.
"we just got done with the x-rays." she pulls up at picture of this computer screen-thing. "he has two fractures on his index and middle finger, and he cut his palm pretty bad, and we already put stitches on. both of his fingers displaced and unstable, therefore we cannot just put on a splint. we will have to perform surgery..." the nurse started to explain the procedure to us.
i look back at grayson, he began to wake up. i didn't know how he will react when he saw me. emma walked over to him and looked at his hand. she grabbed his other hand and whispered something to him. she saw me looking at her and immediately let go of him. she went over and sat down on the chairs near the window, next to bryant. i was still standing, i couldn't sit down. i place my hands in my jean pocket.
when gray was fully awake i go next to him and try to talk to him. he seemed uninterested in what i was saying.
"gray are you okay? what happened?" i kept thinking of questions to ask him. he didn't answer me at first.
"i'm fine.." he mumbles. the nurse starts to talk to grayson about his fingers. the bandage was covered in blood. he acted as if everything was okay, like nothing had happened. as if he didn't just break two fingers. he nods, and looks at his hand.
"hey e do you want to get some snacks with me?" emma asked, mainly keeping an eye on me.
"sure ba—emma. sure." i forgot about the whole "breakup" thing. the last problem i need is for grayson to question our relationship.
emma starts to get up and we go across the hall to the vending machine.
"what the hell is wrong with you? you still aren't going to talk to him?" she asks, her tone was stern.
"he's not responding to me. i can't do anything."
"how did this happen anyways?" she grabs a few quarters from her pocket.
"i don't know."
"do you not care that he's hurt?"
"emma, obviously i do. i'm not some heartless monster." she doesn't respond.
"aren't you supposed to be on you're flight to arizona."
"i'm not going anymore. this is more important." she types in the code for oreo's. she puts in the quarters and grabs the pack. "what do you want?"
"doritos, I guess." i said.
she types in the code and puts in the quarters. she tosses the bag of chips to me. "good catch dumbass." she smiles jokingly.
Emma's POV
7:37 pm
it's been almost five hours since ethan and i arrived at the hospital. i was tired as fuck, despite the fact i pull all nighters four times a week.
doctors kept rushing in and talking to the nurse in the room. grayson appeared to already got stitches for his hand.
ethan and gray haven't spoke much to each other, it's like ethan was there because i was. it pissed me off. they don't have that bond they used to have anymore.
bryant and ethan went out to get some dinner for themselves. i wasn't hungry and my stomach had been hurting for some time. but with them gone, i could talk to grayson. alone.
"i love you gray." i say. i close my eyes for a few seconds.
he looked over at me and smiled.
"love you too..." he mumbled. he didn't have much energy or life in him. he appeared to be exhausted.
"how did this happen?" he stops looking at his hand.
"i—i hit my hand.." he started.
i motioned him on to continue. "i'm sorry."
"why?" i ask.
the nurse walks in again. "we're ready to perform the surgery." grayson gets up off the bed and starts to walk with the nurse. i run up to him and give him a hug before he walked out of the door.
based on his expression, he seemed confused that i hugged him, but i didn't mind. he was definitely hiding something from me. i wanted him to know that i cared about him.
ethan and bryant came back into the room. "where is he?" bryant asks.
"doing the surgery thing."i said. bryant nodded. ethan takes the seat next to mine. he starts to slide his hand into mine, i nudge him with my shoulder, signaling that bryant was still in the room. he remembers and let's go of my hand.
i check the time on my phone: 8:58 pm. bryant had also checked the time on his phone. "i got to go home guys. tell gray i hope he feels better."
"ok bye bro." ethan says.
"bye mr. king." i say, bryant smiles and waves back at us.
"ethan you almost ruined it all"
"it's not my fault you're so perfect.."
he looks me in the eye, and i look at him back, shaking my head.
"stop ethan!" i lay my head on his shoulder. i was tired for some odd reason.
"how could he have broken two fing—"
"i don't know, did you ask?" he looked down at me.
"yes but all he said was that he hit his hand...and that he was 'sorry'?" i pause and stare down at my shoes. "what did i do wrong?"
"this isn't your fault." ethan starts playing with his fingers. "it's not you're fault e." he looks down at me again. "it's my fault."
"huh?" i answer, confused. i get up off of his shoulder and give him a confused look. he doesn't look at me.
"well i don't know how it happened, but it definitely had to do with me."
"how do you know that?"
"bryant told me a little about what happened. he was with him yesterday and today. he said when he came to check up on him in the bathroom, there was glass shattered and he wasn't speaking, just looking at his hand or something.." he shrugs.
it was very concerning to hear apart of the story. something was up with grayson and everyone's been ignoring it, including me. i didn't know how to react.
he was acting all weird in the store. and when i questioned what had happened. is this all my fault? why would ethan be comforting me? it's all my fault. if i had never been friends with either of them, gray wouldn't be here. they would still be talking to each other, like before. it all makes sense now. things started to add up in my mind.
ethan picks up his phone and sighs,
"i think we should go now. it getting kind of late." he stands up.
"i'm not leaving ethan. i'm staying here." he looks at me weird and sits back down.
"emma, come on. i want to go home. i'm tired."
"well bye then..."
"em—"
"ethan. i need to talk to him."
"are you still talking about how it's 'you're fault', i told you already it's not babe." he assures me, putting his hand on my thigh.
—————
i somehow convince him to let me stay at the hospital, if he could stay with me. i manage to stay wide awake for awhile. it was about 10:31. a nurse walks in with another doctor, followed by grayson. a smile come upon my face when i saw him. he had a splint on his fingers. the nurse explained how everything went.
"the healing process will take about a month or two..." she started to talk more. i couldn't make out a thing she was saying to him, i observed grayson. he nodded in agreement.
when we left the hospital, grayson didn't talk much at all. he walked behind ethan and i to the car. as we got into the car, i looked at ethan and he looked back. it's like he could read my mind. what is wrong with him. i mouthed. he shrugged. we both looked back at him. he was on his phone. i turn on the radio, to end the silence.
i drove over to their house and parked in the front. without saying a word, grayson unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the door. ethan jumps out first and mouths to me, love you. i mouth it back. he starts to walk to the front door.
"thanks emma." grayson mutters.
"gray..." i start. i couldn't think of the right words to say. i wanted to say the right ones. i felt unaccomplished, like i let him down. deep down, i had a feeling that i wasn't wrong.
he moves his other hand from the door handle and looks at me through the rear view mirror.
"please text me or come over soon." he nods and gets out. "i—" it was too late for me to say much more. it's like he was gone forever. i feel regret in my gut. i felt sick to my stomach. i had so many things to get off my chest.
Grayson's POV
breaking my finger was probably one of pains i've had. and one of the biggest secrets i've kept. the day it happened was kind of a blur. like it never happened.
ethan had been gone at emma's and i tried to stop him from going. i wanted to talk to him, i wanted to tell him how i felt, he had been at emma's house so much recently. they were really taking this relationship seriously.
i try to stop thinking about it, so i invited bryant over, he was one of my closest friends, besides emma. but i couldn't hang out or talk to her without ethan getting pissed off.
"what's wrong with you and ethan?" bryant asks. i remember this conversation quite clearly. it was the morning after bryant came over. somehow ethan wasn't mentioned until the next day.
"he's pissed off at me for getting 'involved' with his relationship with him and emma."
"so they are dating. i knew something was up." he laughed. "how did you get involved in it?"
"i thought it was fake bro. everyone was saying how they should date and how cute they'd be, etc. so i just thought hey! maybe it's a publicity stunt."
"but they didn't say anything online..or to anyone."
"i know that now. just never mind." i get up off the couch and walk into the kitchen. bryant follows.
"hey i wasn't trying to be mean bro." he said, kindly. his voice was still calm. "it shouldn't affect you that much, why can't you be happy for them?"
"because dude!" i put down my water. "i fucking liked her first!" i exhale.
my emotions escalated quickly. at this point, i had no control. my mind went off on bryant, and my mouth just went along with it.
bryant takes a step back and stays calm with me. it took me a minute to realize what i said to him. fuck.
"it's okay bro, sorry for asking." he pats my back and reassured me. "why don't we go somewhere to eat?" i nod. i wasn't even hungry, but i needed to get out of the house. bryant starts to walk to the car.
"i'll be right there."
i couldn't believe i admitted to liking emma. i told myself i wouldn't tell anyone. it was something i felt guilty about.
i look at myself in the bathroom mirror. you're so fucking stupid. you fucking ruined everything. i got so pissed off to the point where i lost it. there was no more limits. i needed to get my anger out. the mirror was the first thing i thought of....
"grayson! what happened?!" i wondered the same thing. bryant started observing the mirror. he stared down at my hand. i look down at it as well. it was covered in blood. i couldn't even feel my hand at all.
"we have to take you to the hospital gray..now."
he struggles to find something to wrap my hand in. he grabs a towel from the bathroom and the first aid kit. i follow him to the car. i've never seen him so serious, ever. i sat in the passenger seat and wrapped the towel around my hand. the pain was endless.
"bryant..please don't tell ethan." he looks me in my eye. he didn't need to respond. the look in his eye said it all. i knew he wouldn't say a word. suddenly, i started to breathe heavily. later i found out that i passed out from the amount of blood i lost.
about half an hour later, i wake up seeing ethan and emma. emma was standing near me, gripping onto my hand. she whispers something to me, but i couldn't quite hear her. she gasps. her reaction looked like she wanted to hug me or something. my she looked at ethan and let go of my hand, quickly.
by this time, my hand was already stitched up and had stopped bleeding. i rehearse in my head of what i was going to tell them. they couldn't know the real reason. i don't think they ever will. i felt my eyes starting to water. i stop thinking about everything and put my attention on my hand.
———————-
a few days later, after ethan and i came home, it was hard to go back to normal. how things were supposed to be.
i held so much guilt in my gut. we haven't posted or filmed a video for tuesday, which had already passed. i didn't know how to tell the fans. there's way too much to explain.
ethan was acting a whole lot different. he hasn't hung out with emma, so he actually spent time with me.
from my mind, he was only doing it because i was hurt, not because he actually wanted to. it's not like we didn't talk at all. we talked normally, nothing very personal. just a bunch of small talk. but after awhile, that changed.
"hey grayson." ethan shouts.
he walks into the living room, where i had been sitting on the couch.
"hi ethan..." i mutter.
"i'm sorry for the way i've been treating you." i laugh at him. he frowns.
"what? i actually said something nice to you."
"i know you did, it took you a week though." silence filled the room, butterflies began to fill my stomach. i awkwardly laugh to cope with my nervousness.
"well i need to tell you something." he bites his lip and plays with his thumbs.
i sit up on the couch. he sits on the end.
"emma and i...decided to be like...just friends." he waits for my response.
"why?" i ask, stunned.
many questions started to form in my head.
"it's just not the right time i guess."
he didn't look that much upset. he couldn't even look me in the eye while saying it.
"this better not be about me or some shit."
"it's not gray, why would you think that?"
"because you started to act all nice to me out of nowhere. you've been ignoring me for the past week." i say.
"i said i'm sorry."
he runs his hand through his hair and places his hand in his pocket.
"it's fine. but what about the video? everyone is worried probably.."
"dude you are more important than a tuesday. and who cares? i think we could use a break anyways." he grins.
i feel my phone vibrate next to me. i pick it up and it was a text from emma. i ignore it, setting my phone down. i wasn't ready to talk to her. i wasn't even comfortable talking to my twin brother about my hand...or anything. ethan shifts his body towards mine and his voice seemed higher than it was the last time he had spoken.
"are you ever going to tell me what happened to your hand gray?" he asks. i could feel my hand shake, nervously. i practice telling him in my mind, but i imagine him shutting me down, angrily. i stop my thoughts. if i take awhile to respond, he'll question it more.
"i told you...i punched the mirror. no big deal."
"no big deal? you shattered half the mirror. and you won't tell me why." he stops. "grayson i actually want to know. you've been scaring me recently."
scaring him? if only i could explain everything. i don't even understand myself. "stop being a fucking pussy." he says.
"i just felt alone. you kept ditching me and shit. it seemed right at the time. i was in the moment. you just pissed me off." i lie. half of that wasn't accurate. thinking about it now, i was relieved. ethma isn't a thing anymore.
sorry this chapter is shitty, lollll i tried