You look so wonderful in your dress
I love your hair like that
The way it falls on the side of your neck
Down your shoulders and back
Chaeyoung cannot believe it, still thinking about every good thing she had done from the past years of her life. All of it is still not enough to deserve such a beautiful scene in front of her.
The music flows, and as if the angels above are singing, chanting sweet melodies on her ears, the doors slowly opened.
At first, she was blinded by the brightness outside, but as soon as these lights subsided, she as well saw the woman she want to spend the rest of her life with.
She was beautiful, stunning, breath-taking. Chaeyoung could think of all the words on her vocabulary, and all of it would still be an understatement.
No words can describe Lalisa Manoban.
Slowly but surely, she walked down the aisle. Both of them smiled at each other as soon as their eyes met. Chaeyoung can feel the nervousness on the younger, and as if they had the same heart and body, she also felt the tense. She felt like floating.
All eyes are on Lisa, as she took steps forward wearing her white gown, embellished with beads and pearls and rose prints. At the other end of the path was Rosé who can't help but smile.
Who knew this girl - tough, cool, and badass would end up walking down the church, wearing white and looking heavenly.
Chaeyoung saw how Lisa smiled at every person she passed by, from the closest to her heart to the people she met along the way, all of them are part of her journey.
We are surrounded by all of this lies
And people who talk to much
You've got the kind of look in your eyes
As if no one knows anything but us
Everybody was there, Lisa's friends back from Thailand, colleagues, family, relatives, other idols, YG staffs and even Yang Hyun Suk himself - who for the first time wasn't wearing his hat, Rosé chuckled, and she thought Lisa must also be doing the same.
Her smile grew wider when she saw Jennie and Jisoo. She was worried the two couldn't make it but was relieved when she had a glimpse of them. Of course she knew the unnies wouldn't miss this special day. After all, they were the persons who went through with her and Lisa's story. And even after they separated ways, made each other's names by themselves, they are still that Blackpink, not just as a girl group but as a family.
The presence of media was also there, flickering lights here and everywhere, flashes of cameras, numerous fan sites from Seoul, Thailand and even from Australia. The whole nation was watching, anticipating the wedding of the year.
And should this be the last thing I see
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I ever need.
All of the things around were truly overwhelming, but Chaeyoung doesn't give a damn about everything. Today, it is Lisa over the world. She could give up anything she had and choose this girl. She won't think twice.
I'm so in love
So in love
So in love
So in love
Lisa smiled at her, she did the same. And as a tear slowly fell from the side of her eye, memories with the same pace of the beat of her heart lingered fast as a flash of light.
Years ago, they were just trainees, who debuted and became idols. They reached the peak of their success, they got to grasp the dreams they've worked their lives for.
They were just teenagers, who spent days and nights together, dancing together and covering songs. They created memories, up to their early twenties. Nonetheless, the youth was still there, inside grown up bodies.
Years ago, they were just sleeping on Chaeyoung's bed, or sometimes at Lisa's, does it matter? It was the late night talks that will ever be significant, the secrets only the two of them knew, laughter, and cuddles, and promises.
Tears are now falling mercilessly. Chaeyoung can't help to hold it back from flooding and crashing down unto the church's newly changed carpet.
Lisa smiled at her, with brim of tears in her eyes threatened to fall, she smiled, and took a step forward.
Another step,
another step,
and another step, past Chae.
And then and there Lisa was approaching a man at the very end of the aisle, standing in front of the altar, wearing tuxedo, fine hair and looks. He took her hand.
Lisa looked back at her, still smiling. And Chaeyoung who knows Lisa with the back of her hand, felt the gratefulness in the eyes of the latter. Chaeyoung nodded at her, with eyes now obviously watery, well she doesn't care anymore.
Be my bridesmaid, okay?
Of course, I'm your best friend Lisa. I wouldn't miss it.
Years ago, they were as close as one.
Years ago, Chaeyoung was almost, if not enough, was inches apart into having Lisa's heart.
But things in real life don't happen in a cradle or in any safe place. It is not like that, Chaeyoung believed.
Two years ago, she was close to confessing.
Two years ago, she was ready to give it all, her moment of 'now or never' and let the world know to whom she was gay for.
She was ready to express how she fell hard for her best friend.
But two years ago, Lisa knocked on her door, waking her up in the middle the night, 12:14 - she can still remember. Talking to her about this little admiration she had to the guy next door, who they never had a chance to talk to - as per YG's rules. He's an idol too, with great looks and talent. One of the company's gem.
Simply call him, Kim Hanbin.
After that night, Chaeyoung's life turned upside-down. Her world was never the same anymore. It severely changed, like the seasons and the weather, but with the word 'good' being out of the book. In fact, it was all gray, turned black, turned nothing.
You look so beautiful in this light
Your silhouette over me
The way it brings out the blue in your eyes
Is the Tenerife sea
Rosé watched as the newlywed couple danced in the middle of the reception room. They were hugging and swaying slowly, feeling every flow of the music in the middle of dim lights and with the crowds' attention over them.
Chaeyoung wished she could be that person Lisa was dancing with. With all of the performance they had together, she knew right from the start what she could call the dance of her life, and it is not those she had while singing korean or any pop songs. The only dance that she wanted, was that one on her wedding day - guess she need to change plans. Or better forget about those dreams for good. She could do the same with Lisa if she wanted to.
It would always be bride and groom. It would only works that way.
Her heart sinks, it felt heavy but numb. After all of the fake smiles she did every time Lisa talked about Hanbin, she didn't expected that with all those years and nights she spent crying on her sheets every time they were out together on a date - pathetic it is, but that was just how practically she was lashed by love, the pain she had now was incomparable.
She can't breathe, her eyes are getting blurry. And she didn't dare to talk as the tears may threaten to fall. There is a lump in her throat. She wanted to run and leave but she couldn't even manage to take a step forward, she was afraid her already broken pieces would completely shatter once she move.
All of the voices surrounding us here
They just fade out and when you take a breath
Just say the word and now we'll disappear
Oh, into the wilderness.
"Hi"
Chaeyoung jumped from her place, where she was standing minutes ago and tracing the tip of her glass.
"H-Hi" She stuttered.
Chaeyoung thought Lisa was truly gorgeous. With her hair now tucked in a bun and her forever existing bangs. She dyed her hair black.
Lisa didn't say anything and just embraced her very tight.
Chaeyoung froze. But after minutes of feeling her warmth, she can't help but hug the younger back.
She closed her eyes, trying to memorize every part of Lisa's being, her scent, her soft skin, her hair. It would be the last time she could feel it, she don't want to miss every part of it. But soon, reality will slap her straight on the face even if she runs away from it. Lisa is not hers anymore.
She wasn't even Chaeyoung's to begin with.
"Congratulations", she was sober.
"Thank you, Rosie."
And this should be the last thing I see
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I ever need.
"I'm not really good at speeches so..." Chaeyoung started in front of all the people in the room.
"I'm just going to start it by saying that, Lisa-" she faced the younger from one of the tables with her husband beside her.
"Finally, no one's going to call me chipmunk anymore." She chuckled.
Laughter filled the room. Lisa smiled, but they both knew she was just holding back the burst of tears that are about to come.
Chaeyoung felt a little lighter, but then she took a deep breath.
"Love, is the greatest thing you can find in this world, and it would make you see things different from the way you used to.
I saw it in you Lisa.
Years ago, you were just our tiny maknae who just follows to what everyone tells her. I could still remember the day we went to our senior's wedding, you cried and you said that when you see someone who's truly happy, then you could feel like you get that happiness from them and become happy as well.
And now, I'm happy for you Lisa." She was pushing herself to be.
"And look at you now, sitting with a perfect man, starting a new chapter of life."
And it was getting hard to fight the tears.
"W-With love, you learned to be brave, to fight for what you believed. And I will always be proud of you with that."
Lisa's eyes were now flooded with tears, but Chaeyoung had to continue.
"Hanbin oppa... Always, always take care of Lisa."
Chaeyoung's voice was shaking.
"Yes, she doesn't know how to cook, and she could practically burn the house but that doesn't define her as a person. And I know that you know that.
Do not let anyone or anything make her cry. And please, always watch out for her because she tends to overwork herself and is too irresponsible with her health."
Chaeyoung released a shaky breath. Tears were slowly rolling down her cheeks.
"Take care of her, for the rest of your life." She repeated.
There are a lot of things that Chaeyoung wanted to say. But she chose not to go farther from the line.
She wanted to tell Hanbin to take care of Lisa more than she did, make her happy more than they were. Love her much than the every single day Chaeyoung loved her before.
Kiss her forehead, sing her songs at night. Cook for her with or without occasion. Compliment her with every little way she is.
She wanted to tell him that once he broke Lisa's heart, she would tear his body apart.
But no, Hanbin is a good man.
Even though sometimes, she wanted to beg and bend her knees in front of the guy, to tell him to give up Lisa. So she can just be hers and not his.
She wanted to be genuinely happy. But sometimes she wanted to be selfish.
I'm so in love
So in love
So in love
So in love
Years ago, Chaeyoung vowed to herself. She would take care of Lisa, cherish her and protect her.
Years ago when she promised she would make her happy. Maybe she did, but not enough to make her stay or feel the same way.
If Chaeyoung was just brave enough. Just like what Hanbin did.
Maybe that was the reason she would never be good for Lisa.
She wasn't as tough as him. When Chaeyoung can't speak for the truth, Hanbin declared to the world how he felt for Lisa. When Chaeyoung couldn't do anything, Hanbin broke the rules and YG's nonsense contract. When Chaeyoung was afraid, Habin was there to receive all the hate.
If she just screamed to the world right before what she really was, maybe she never felt Lisa's hand slowly unclasping on hers.
So maybe she did the right thing. Lisa was now on the right arms. Her job already ends here. And maybe, no scratch that -
Chaeyoung knows, they were just not and will never fated to be together.
And should this be the last thing I see
I want to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I ever need
Drinking the tenth, eleventh... twelfth glass of champagne, she didn't know anymore. All for sure, she was completely drunk and she doesn't care. She wants to get lost anyway, and never get find, Lisa didn't even saw her when she was there in front of her eyes, so it's better to be gone permanently.
The romantic atmosphere was now turned into a party night. All bodies were swaying to the booming music, but Chaeyoung was there, in the bar counter drowning her sorrows away.
"Rosie, that's enough." She was about to drink when Jennie snatched the glass from her hand.
"Jenieeewee, unnie." Her legs are now wobbly.
"Stop drinking Chae, you're completey wasted."
Chaeyoung with knees completely weak to stand, let herself fell on Jennie's embrace.
The latter didn't move. She was aware. She knows how Rosé's heart was breaking, and it makes her hate herself that she cannot do anything.
After minutes of feeling Chaeyoung's petite body in her arms, she heard sobs. The younger was shaking, and Jennie can feel the cloth on her shoulders getting soaked with tears.
"Shhhhh" Jennie caressed her back.
"She's happy now Jennie, why can't I be?"
That night, Chaeyoung cried.
And it was also the last time she got to breathe the same air as Lisa.
I'm so in love
So in love
So in love
So in love
"So I think this would be the last time?" Jisoo asked whilst hugging Chaeyoung, sadness evident on her face.
The three of them were inside the van, bidding their last goodbyes to Chaeyoung. Jennie was crying, clutching unto Rosé's shirt.
"I guess."
Chaeyoung tried to prevent the tears from falling down, she had cried enough.
Tucking her mask up, she hopped out of the van. She didn't have the chance to say goodbye to Lisa after that night, and she chose not to.
After that night, she realized her journey with Lisa ends there. The both of them needed to find their own separate ways, especially Chaeyoung.
And for now, she's choosing to spend the rest of her life alone. Hoping that maybe, three to five years from now, she could finally forget about everything. About the girl that once upon a time, was her life.
You look so wonderful in your dress
I loved your hair like that
And in the moment I knew you back
Chaeyoung loved Lisa. And she would always will.
'Passengers of Flight 107, Seoul - Melbourne, the gates are closing in 5 minutes.'
"Chae!"
It was Lisa's voice.
Chaeyoung didn't look back.