“Amber, I don’t know and honestly don’t care,” Alice groaned as we walked out of the car. As I stepped out into the open lot filled with tired people, dreading yet another Monday morning, my eyes scanned for Noah.
My stomach started to churn as I knew that the time before I was going to have to face him was flying by quickly. I spotted the popular crowd, but for some reason he wasn’t with them. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or even more nervous.
Since he wasn’t with his usual crowd, that meant I probably wouldn’t see him for a while until he catches up with them. But that also meant there was a possibility he was wandering alone and we could bump into him any second.
I shook my head and forced my feet to catch up with Alice, who was a few paces ahead of me.
“Seriously, can a duck kill someone? There are so many ways that it could happen. It could tackle someone at full speed and they could fall backwards into a ditch,” I pushed on, rambling.
I couldn’t stop my mouth from moving. It was like I was on auto-pilot and couldn’t switch it off.
“The possibility of a duck flying into you just as you are walking by a ditch isn’t likely,” Alice said, shaking her head.
“But what if it shoved its butt into your mouth and suffocated you?” I asked, maybe a bit too loudly. We got some strange looks but everyone otherwise continued whatever they were doing.
“That probably wouldn’t do that either. Question: why would the duck want to kill you in the first place?” Alice asked. I shrugged.
“Sent by killer swans who want revenge on humans?” I tried. She shook her head.
“My best friend has gone mental!” She stated. I scoffed.
“Mental? Since when do you say mental? It’s a British word!” I said. She frowned.
“Just because the people in Harry Potter say it a lot doesn’t mean its British! Besides, your outlook on British people is completely stereotypical,” Alice said, sighing.
“It is to British! Are you going to start saying things like snogging now?” I asked sarcastically. She chuckled quickly before hiding it with a stern face but I still caught her.
“Really Amber?” She asked, shaking her head. I sighed and pretended to drop the subject.
“While having a lovely cup of cheerios with Queen Elizabeth, I stopped to snog the prime minister,” I said in a British accent.
Alice broke out into hysterical laughter, really earning us strange looks. I grinned proudly.
“That was the worst British accent I’ve ever seen!” She wailed through her laughter. She clutched her stomach.
I gave a bow. “Thank you, thank you,” I said sarcastically. She stopped moving to bend over as she giggled.
I rolled my eyes and started to walk backwards.
“You coming or what?” I asked.
Before she could reply, I bumped into a hard figure. I stumbled backwards but they caught me easily. This only made Alice laugh even harder.
“I’m glad you find this amusing!” I called sarcastically before tipping my head up to thank my savior.
I froze as Noah’s perfect face came into view. I felt my face turn a deep shade of red as I looked at the ground.
This was definitely not how I wanted to approach him.
“Can we talk?” I asked quietly, still not looking at him. He sighed.
“Sure,” he said. To my surprise, his voice cracked. I glanced back up at him and what I saw nearly made my heart break in two.
His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and under them were deep gray bag. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in weeks. His brown eyes had an unusual dull look to them. He had on a blank expression, as if he was trying to hide what he was really feeling. As I met his eyes, his whole composure changed into a hurt one, before it was blank again. But in that split second, I saw how heartbroken he really was.
Was he ever going to forgive me? I had no right to end things like I did. I was lucky to have him and I just tossed him away over some silly thing. He wasn’t mine anymore.
My vision started to blur with tears. Although I did my best to hold them back, they poured down my face.
Noah’s blank expression broke and changed into concern. He glanced around before taking my arm and pulling me into a closet.
As soon as he shut the door, I yanked my arm away from him. It sparks were shooting down my arm, but all they did was remind me of what I could have had.
I couldn’t see his face, the closet was too dark, but I could faintly make out his figure in the dark. My heart panged as I remembered the last memory we shared in this closet.
I was grateful of the dark now, because Noah couldn’t see the constant stream of tears rolling down my face.
“Are you okay?” He asked, taking my hand. Jolts rocked through my body at the contact. It seemed now that I couldn’t have him anymore, everything I felt before was heightened.
I sprang away from him, putting a few feet in between us. If we were closer, I might have done something stupid, like kiss him. If not being with him hurt this much, I can’t imagine how rejection would feel. I don’t think I could take that.
“Sorry,” Noah mumbled.
Although I didn’t know what he was apologizing for, I still muttered, “It’s fine.”
Where was I going to start? How could I apologize for what I did? Does it even matter to him? What if he’s moved on?
If apologizing wasn’t going to do any good, why do it? It probably won’t mean anything to him even if I do say it.
No, I owe it to him at least. Even if he doesn’t accept it, he should know how sorry I am.
“Noah,” I started. I took a deep breath. Just spit it out.
“I’m really sorry for what I said. I know that it might not change anything but-“ My voice crack horribly, forcing me to cut off.
Why did I have to ruin everything? It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t even his choice. Tyler made him keep it a secret. He was only trying to protect me.
Don’t think of this now. Just finish your apology, I told myself and drew in a deep breath.
“But I want you to know that I still love you but I can understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore,” I finished in whisper.
The darkness hid his expression from me, but I’d imagine it was a furious one. Saying sorry doesn’t fix anything.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated before pushing past him.
I stepped back into the crowded hallway and squinted against the light. I was far past being ashamed by my tear streaked face as I pushed through the crowd. I really didn’t feel like going to school today. All I really wanted to do was collapse on my bed and let myself cry it out.
Noah’s POV
“But I still love you and I can understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore,” She said and I froze.
She still loves me? After everything I’ve done? I prayed this wasn’t a dream. I wanted to pinch myself just to make sure but all my limbs were locked in place.
She still loves me.
I can’t believe it. But what was she apologizing for? Actually knowing Amber, she was probably feeling horrible about the things she said, even though she had every right to say them.
I should have told her, or at least have been prepared for her reaction when I didn’t. I screwed up badly and she probably felt betrayed.
But she still loves me.
I felt like laughing with joy. When she said we needed to talk, I thought she was telling me that she had placed a restraining order against me or something. Instead, she admits her feelings hadn’t changed at all.
I finally broke out of shock and grinned. She still loves me. It felt like a dream come true. Even after what I’d done, she still loved me.
“I love you too,” I said. She stayed silent. I frowned.
“Amber?” I asked, stretching in front of me but I only felt air.
I realized while I was lost with thought, she had probably gotten out. I frowned and dove out of the closet.
I squinted against the light, searching for her. After looking through the sea of faces and not finding her, I started towards the parking lot. If I was her, I’d probably head home.
What if she thinks I don’t love her anymore? When I didn’t say it back for a second, she probably assumed that I didn’t feel that way anymore. I groaned.
I’m such a selfish jerk.
Just as I reached the parking lot, I spotted Alice’s car pulling out of a parking space. I started to sprint towards it.
I was almost there. I decided that in open three seconds, I would pull open the door and kiss her to show her how I really feel.
Someone gave me a hard tug on the arm. They pulled hard enough that I was forced to stop. I watched as the car drove away and spun to glare at them.
“Flynn! You missed practice Saturday,” Couch growled. I scowled in response. I really didn’t have time for this.
“Yeah, I did,” I said simply, trying to pull away but his grip was strong.
“Well Mr. Smartass, how would you like to run one hundred laps around the field?” He asked. My eyes flickered to the disappearing car and I attempted to pull away again.
“But Coach…” I whined. Of course I was missing one of the most important moments of my life because of football.
“You see how my voice didn’t go up at the end? Not a question,” He stated dragging me along.
“I’ll quit the team! I’m quitting football! Can I go?” I pleaded. Coach’s grip tightened to where it was painful.
“Not an option, Flynn! Now either put on a skirt and do your makeup or run one hundred laps around the field!” Coach said, finally letting go of my arm and shoving me towards the field.
He blew his ear piercing whistle and gestured for me to start. I sighed and began running the fastest I had ever run in my life.
I needed to get back to Amber.
Amber’s POV
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Alice asked as she parked the car. She had a sympathetic look on her face but the last thing I wanted was sympathy.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured, forcing a fake smile onto my face. She sighed. Before she could say anything else, I opened the door and took off towards my house.
As soon as I stepped inside, unshed tears finally escaped. Now that I was home, I finally felt safe enough to let my emotions run free.
What had I expected? I knew he wouldn’t feel the same way, so why did I still feel this sad? Maybe, a small part of me hoped that he had somehow forgiven me for being so harsh. But he hadn’t, and I didn’t blame him.
I slowly climbed the stairs and walked into my room. I flopped onto my bed and buried my head into my pillow.
Immediately, Noah’s face flashed through my mind. I groaned and opened my eyes.
I guess sleeping was out of the question.
I picked up my phone just to check for any missed calls or unread messages, but there were none. I sighed and tossed my phone to the foot of the bed.
What now? Drown out my sorrows in ice cream? But then I would be depressed and fat. Besides, that might lower the chances of Noah ever wanting me again if I was fatter.
I shook my head at myself as I started to cry again. The tears just wouldn’t stop coming. Surely, I would have to run out of tears sometime?
My phone rang making me shoot up. Instead of Noah’s name like I had been hoping, a picture of Alice flashed across the screen. I sighed and answered.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Hey, just making sure you hadn’t drowned in your own tears,” Alice joked weakly. I tried to force myself to laugh but failed poorly. Alice obviously noticed because she gave a long sigh.
“You sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” She asked. I nodded my head then remembered she couldn’t see me.
“I’m sure. I just need to be alone for a little bit then I’ll be fine,” I said.
The last part was a complete lie. I wouldn’t be fine. I don’t know if I would ever get over this, but I could at least pretend I was.
“Are you absolutely sure?” She asked. I rolled my teary eyes.
“I’m absolutely sure. Now you better hurry and get to school. You probably don’t want to miss second period two,” I said.
“You’re right,” She sighed. “But promise to call me if you need anything?” She asked. I almost smiled at her concern. Almost.
“I’m sure,” I said.
“Bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up and tossed my phone beside my bed. I flopped down back onto my bed and let myself rest for just a moment.
My eyes shot open and I sat up in bed. As I glanced at my bedside clock, I saw that it was almost three o’clock. I guess I had been able to fall asleep after all.
My peaceful moment ended quickly as Noah’s face flashed through my mind. It felt like someone had stabbed me. My heart literally ached at just the thought of him and I sighed.
I hoped I didn’t feel like this forever. That would suck.
The sound of the front door opening brought me out of my thoughts. Immediately, a huge smile spread across my face and I forgot about Noah momentarily.
Tyler had told me that he was going to visit me soon, and I guess he just got here. Some time alone with Tyler would definitely take my mind off things.
That sounded so wrong….
I rolled my eyes at my dirty mind and raced down the stairs. The front room was empty but I heard shuffling down the hall.
I ran quickly into the other room.
“Hey Tyler,” I said excitedly as I bounced into the room. Then I froze and it felt as if my heart stopped.
The whole world seemed to be going in slow motion as he turned around and smiled at me.
“Hello Amber,” My father said.
Hey! Sorry for long wait! I recently started school this Monday and as I said in an earlier chapter, I hadn’t even started my homework so I was up all night finishing it :(
So what do you think of her dad finally coming home? How do you Amber is going to get herself out of this one?
Anyway, if you want to know, you know what to do >:D
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