✘
"i-i really don't have the energy for this right now, taeil..." doyoung whimpered, turning away from his partner in his chair.
taeil frowned even deeper than he had been already.
this was all his fault.
"love, please just let me apologize to you." the shorter male said quietly.
he shouldn't have lashed out at doyoung like that yesterday.
taeil was about to speak again, but the front door opened up, revealing johnny and ten with all their camera equipment in hand. chenle and jisung had arrived earlier, and were just waiting on those two to get here.
the tension in the room was incredibly thick. doyoung refused to speak and kept his head low while taeil looked incredibly distressed. johnny and ten simply excused themselves for bothering the couple, then left go join the two boys in their room.
taeil sighed, going around doyoung's spinning chair and to the side he was facing. the shorter plopped down in his husband's lap, facing him.
doyoung's hands mindlessly went around taeil's waist, like they have been doing ever since they were in high school. the elder cupped his partner's face and tilted it up softly, so their sad eyes met.
the night prior, when doyoung came home, taeil was mad. jihoon had been acting out terribly all day, but since the younger male wasn't there, taeil had to put up with it all day.
days when kids are like that can really tire a person out, and taeil found himself blaming doyoung for it.
doyoung is never home. doyoung doesn't see him as much as taeil sees him. doyoung can't help him out because he's always out at the studio.
yes, it was his job, and it was what was giving them money to live in a generous sized house. the elder knew he was in the wrong for blaming his partner, but with the pile of emotions he was feeling he couldn't really control himself.
that night, doyoung came home at his usual time, around one in the morning. taeil and jihoon would always be asleep, and he expected the same thing when he walked through the door.
but this time, taeil wasn't sleeping.
he was barely putting jihoon to sleep because of his fits and fussing.
when his husband saw doyoung, he didn't even acknowledge him and just headed to the bathroom. the younger thought it was weird, so he followed taeil into the bathroom. while the shorter washed his face, doyoung snaked his arms around his waist only to he pushed back.
"woah... what's wrong?" doyoung asked softly, since jihoon had just fallen asleep. taeil just threw him a nasty glare, which really hurt him.
doyoung was a person with an extremely sensitive heart. he gets hurt emotionally very easily, and he knew it was a weakness he had. he shouldn't like that, because it can just make people walk over him, but he can't help it.
he is who he is.
"did i do something wrong?" the taller frowned, reaching for taeil's hand and getting pushed back again even harder.
the elder turned to him with the coldest stare doyoung had ever seen in him.
slowly, taeil began to rant about doyoung, to doyoung himself. his voice grew louder and louder until he was screaming his head off and was all red in the face.
"you never help me!"
"you're never here with me!"
"you never have time for me!"
"you don't act like you love me!"
those last shouts he received made doyoung snap.
just, not violently.
how could his partner ever think he didn't love him?
taeil stopped yelling when he realized he made doyoung cry.
he'd only ever done that one time, and it was because he lashed out at him when they were still in high school. he felt terrible about himself for an entire month after that even though they made up.
taeil was very fierce with his words and doyoung knew that. and if he knew that, he also knew that his partner wasn't speaking from the heart.
he didn't mean anything that he was saying.
but the taller couldn't help but think he was shouting the truth.
by now, jihoon had woken up again and was just hiding behind his room door, petrified of all the yelling going on between his parents.
"i-i'm sorry. i really am." doyoung mumbled, not daring to make any type of eye contact with taeil. "doyoung, i-" but before the elder could finish speaking, his partner rushed out the door once more.
taeil was about to go and chase after him, but his eyes caught jihoon behind his room door, crying silently.
"come here..." taeil walked to the baby and scooped him up, walking into the darkness of his room and laying down with him on his bed. he comforted jihoon until he fell asleep again, which took a while but nonetheless worked. he was thankful the baby didn't ask any questions about what was going on, and instead just cuddled into him for comfort.
but while jihoon slept, taeil cried.
where was his partner? where could he have possibly gone right now at such a time? why did he have to let out all that built-up stress on him the moment he walked through the door?
the male got absolutely no sleep that night, to say the least.
the following morning, doyoung was still nowhere to be found inside their home. taeil was growing more and more worried by the second, but he knew his partner was at his studio; he always was.
taeil just wasn't quite ready to face the situation, even though he caused it himself.
the male got up and dressed jihoon into small sweatpants with a matching sweater, because the mornings were always so cold.
he took the baby on a long walk around town all day, letting him play in parks until he eventually became tired and fell asleep, leaving taeil to carry him all the way onto the other side of town, because that was where the studio was.
it was where his husband was.
jihoon, after almost the whole afternoon of sleeping on taeil's back, had woken up just in time when taeil was nearing the studio.
and well, there they were now.
doyoung was mad at his husband, and it was completely understandable. he was never one to get mad with anyone, but taeil's words this time really pushed him over the edge.
"you have every right to be upset with me, but i want to apologize for my words. i know you as my soulmate and other half, doyoung. and i know that i really hurt your feelings. i want to tell you that i'm truly sorry..." taeil said quietly, still holding his husband's face in his hands.
a stray tear tell from his own eye, and doyoung slowly wiped it away from his soft skin.
the two embraced each other at the same time, and with every emotion they were feeling.
taeil mumbled a thousand 'i'm sorry's per second, which told doyoung he was actually regretful for what had happened.
the two broke apart from their hug, with the elder kissing doyoung's lips softly right after.
"i love you." doyoung muttered, causing taeil to just hug him tightly again. "i love you more." the shorter replied, his head buried in doyoung's neck.
and the two ended up just cuddling together at the front of the studio, enjoying the comfortable silence and warmth each other provided.
both males' minds went off to their high school and college years at the same time. both were rejected by their parents, both were bashed on for their sexuality many, many times on a daily basis.
doyoung recalled the day he met taeil for the first time.
it the most tragic way lovers could meet, in his opinion.
in high school, taeil used to carry blades wherever he went; it was bad habits he picked up from being hurt so many times in his home. the elder was just so mentally exhausted and strained from everything that had been happening to him, he decided it would be fine to end it all in the school's bathroom.
it's not like his own blood wanted him.
and he would've done it, if doyoung hadn't walked into the bathroom just in time.
taeil was in the corner of the bathroom, blade right on his wrist when doyoung walked in.
the younger remembered how they stared at each other intensely for such a long time, before he ended up making his way over to taeil. he remembered taking the blade softly from his hand and away from his skin, which taeil allowed him to do so, all while they made eye contact.
after that, he just hugged him and the two just cried. what else could doyoung do? they hadn't met until that exact time, but they felt a connection for each other on sight.
doyoung sometimes wondered what would've happened if he didn't enter that bathroom quick, or slow enough.
it was a thought he didn't want to ever think about.
taeil, to this day, still struggles with symptoms of depression. he still has scars, both on his skin and in his heart.
but, he also has doyoung.
and that's all he'll ever need in his life in order to keep going.
« 🌴 »
updated almost twice in one day i'm proud of myself :')
if u guys celebrate halloween, what are u dressing up as?
if u don't, what's your favorite song at the moment?
you're appreciated. you're loved. and remember, you're never alone.
— áltura