You picked up a flute from the trey as the waiter went by. If you were going to enjoy yourself, a little alcohol wouldn't hurt. Cali Premiere parties were never your scene but being the girlfriend of the leading man, one must keep face. These are the only parties that you won't be bothered, because everyone here is some type of celebrity.. And you well.. You've had some pretty good roles but compared to the people here you were an amateur.
"Where's your bow?" A feminine voice said behind you.
You sighed, giving Emma Thompson a small smile."Probably talking with someone. Who knows with him."
"You two seem very happy." You knew she was studying you. If you lied, she'd know.
"Perfectly." It wasn't exactly a lie.
"Hmm. You miss HIM don't you."
You finely looked right at her and frown. Of all people she knew you didn't want to talk about HIM.
"Em, please. Not now. I'm with Grant. And. I'm. Happy. I don't want to talk about my ex. I don't want to think about him either." You downed the rest of the drink and looked around for more. You knew she wasn't finished yet so finding more alcohol is what you needed.
Quick.
"Well...." Her voice went higher and she gave you THAT look. That look of 'please don't hate me'.
"What? Em, what did you do?" You grabbed her shoulder. "Please tell me you didn't invite-"
"She did." The dark velvet voice came from behind. Your chest tightens, feeling as if all the air in your lungs has been sucked out. You turn towards the voice and practically groan at the sight of him. He never seemed to change. Still handsome with that charming smile and intense eyes. His hair grayer since the last time you were face to face. Dressed in a black jacket with a crisp white dress shirt underneath. You'd never not be attracted to him and it made that old feeling start in the pit of your stomach. You quickly pushed thoughs feelings away. Not a good time to start thinking about the past.
"Hello, Y/N." He offered his hand with a knowing smirk.
"It's nice to see you again, Alan." You took his hand firmly. Maybe a little too firmly.. Not that you were nervous or anything.
"You look breathtaking." His dark voice wrapped around you in a familiar hug. Maybe the black number with the low cut wasn't the best choice.
And you look utterly delicious.
"You don't think it's to much? Grant wasn't exactly thrilled." You blushed, looking at his hand that still held yours. Alan's thumb gently ran across your knuckles, causing your heart to beat wildly against your chest.
"Understandable. He doesn't want other men getting any ideas." He smirk, eyebrow raising just a tad in amusement. You gently withdrew your hand from his.
"Well... I'm just going to pop over and get another drink." Emma said, "I'll see you later, Al?" She leaned up and kissed his cheek. You stood there glaring at her wishing she would stop trying to interfere with your love life.
"Of course." Alan smiled at her. Emma turned to you and tapped her cheek. You rolled your eyes and leaned to plant a quick kiss on her cheek.
"Love you," She said in an almost sing song voice.
"Love you too." You teased, sticking your tongue out at her. Which she lovingly stuck hers out back to you as she walked away.
"You two never change." Alan chuckled, making a slight blush stain your cheeks.
"Yes... Well.. She starts it most of the time."
"I remember. But I believe it's more 50/50."
True.
For 2 years before deciding to go to college at the age of 24 to find out what you wanted to do with your life, Alan was your everything. You met him on the set of the first Harry Potter. For your 22nd birthday your parents sent you to London so you could audition. You were an extra with no lines.
Which was good because doing a British or Irish or anything accent infront of people who weren't American would have been bad. You thought your English accent was pretty good but... You didn't want to make a fool out of yourself.
But you wanted badly to be an actress and this was a good start. You accidentally ran into Alan during passing between scenes and found him to be nothing like his character. Alan was so charming and sweet you fell pretty fast and hard.
Though both him and Snape are incredibly sexy.
When you finally started to date everything was great until the filming ended. Alan, being the sweet man he is, wanted to get you a flat and help you pay for it until you got either a job or another gig. And well you agreed... You didn't want to go back to America. So two years and very small parts with characters usually called American girl 1 or 2. You decided to go to college. Because acting obviously wasn't for you. If the option to transfer your highschool college credit over to a UK school, you would have taken it. But there was no way. So back to America it had to be. Plus trying to find parts in movies or TV was getting tiresome and you felt terrible for basically being a financial burden to Alan, you had to leave him. You didn't expect him to give up acting and theater here so he could move to the US with you. He had the next Harry Potter to film and plays he wanted to do. You wanted go make it on your own. Be independent and see where your career would take you. You both said your goodbyes and you were on the next flight back home.
It hurt like Hell. Leaving him.
After college with a Major in English you still didn't really know what you wanted. The only person whom you were close with still was Emma, who Alan introduced to you when you started dating. You called her every once in a while and she'd tell you about Alan and all the gossip in her life. What she told you he seemed to have moved on. You missed him so much and for 4 years there was a hole left in your heart.
Until you met Grant, a young up and comimg actor, at the after party of his and Emma's new movie. Grant was sweet and attractive but most importantly you were lonely. Of course being on his arm did upgrade your popularity, which didn't matter to you. Being with him took the hole that you had and filled it up. And now here you are doing something you'd thought you'd never get to do... Ever.
"Y/N? ...Y/N?" Alan's voice snapped you out of your trance.
"Sorry. I was just thinking." You lifted the glass to your lips but frowned when nothing came out.
Shit.
"It's fine. Do you want me to get you a drink?" He cocked his head to the side and gave you a sideways smirk. No want you needed was to find Grant! And not chat with your handsome ex!
"No! It's fine! I should probably go find my boyfriend." He gave you a small smile which made little butterflies move around in your stomach. He needed to find Grant so he could take you home.
"Right. He seems like a talented... young man."
"Um yes," you cough, "Yes. He's wonderful. I'll...um see you around." You gave him a wave and turned to maneuver through the crowd.
You found Grant talking to two men and a woman. The only person you recognized was Stanley Tucci among the other two. You walked up and wrapped your arm around your boyfriend's waist. Stanley gave you a wink and excused himself. Grant turned his head towards you and smiled, leaning close to your ear.
"Emma always steals you away from me. What were you two doing?"
You looked into his eyes. Oh God. Could you keep doing this? Lying to yourself. To him? Grant didn't deserve this. Here comes the anxiety!
"Nothing really.. Just chatting." You forced a smile back. He knew about you and Alan, though you assured him that you had no feelings for your ex anymore. And it was true....ish. You didn't think Emma would be planning what ever she has up her sleeve tonight. But now after seeing him again after 6 years... You couldn't promise that anymore. The way Alan made you feel was so much more intense then Grant.
Being with Grant feels... Like the safe option.
"Oh. Well some friends and I are going to go to an after after party. You want to go?" He nodded to the other two people which you totally forgot they were there.
"Your (Y/N), right? I just saw your last movie. It was amazing. YOU were amazing." The short blonde women you didn't recognize standing next to man you didn't recognize said, eyes wide. Smiling at her you held out your hand to her. She looked at it as if you offered her money before she finally shook it.
"That's very kind of you to say. Miss?"
"Shay. Shay Wells. And this is my boyfriend, Joel. We are both big fans. Right Joel? " she blushed at the man with his arm around her. He was attractive with short black hair and blue eyes. They both made a cute couple.
"Sorry about her. She gets a little star struck." He smiled, which earned him a elbow to the gut from Shay. "Ow! And yes, we are both big fans."
"I'm happy you like my work. It was a fun movie to shoot." Hoping all the praise was over you turned to Grant to continue your conversation but Shay had one more thing to say.
"Is it true you dated the Alan Rickman like 7 years ago?!" She asked looking hopeful. You saw Grant's jaw clench and his eyes looked towards the ground. God was certainly punishing you. Right?! Right.
"Shay!!" Joel warned. "Really?"
"I'm sorry! It's just.... It's Alan Rickman." She murmured, looking down. You couldn't help but smile because if you were her, you'd probably want to know too.
"You don't have to answer that." Grant frowned at the young women before turning his gaze to you.
"It's alright. Really," you assured her. "To answer your question; yes. We did date for 2 years while I was living in London." Shay looked up and smiled brightly.
"So will you come to the party? It will be mostly young people." Joel asked.
"I'm not a party girl really." You chuckled, leaning up to kiss Grant's cheek. "You go, babe. You earned it." He knew you weren't into parties. He said once you turned 30 he felt like he was dating a much older women. Which you were but only by 3 years. You couldn't help it, you liked being around the mature croud. Plus seeing Alan again made you want to crawl into bed with a tub of ice cream and watch Truly, Madly Deeply.
And cry your eyes out.
"C'mon babe. It will be fun." Grant held you tight against him.
"Actually I was coming over to tell you that I wasn't feeling well," He face was one of concern and worry "Emma and her husband will be giving me a ride home."
"Are you alright though baby? Cuz I can skip the party if you need me at home." Your eyes widen.
Why must he be so sweet?!
"No! Please. You diserved this. The new movie was a hit and all those youngens will expect the lead role to make an appearance." You nervously chuckled, patting his muscular chest.
"Are you sure?" His warm hand came up to cup your cheek sweetly.
He was so utterly sweet.
"Yes." You nodded.
"Okay, but I'm calling you every chance I get. To check up on you." Grant leaned in and kissed your lips softly.
"I'll see you at home." You kissed him back before turning to his friends. Shay seemed to be swooning over the two of you. Giving Joel angry looks once in a while. "Hopefully I can attend the next after after party. Pleasure meeting you both."
"You too!" Shay reached out and pulled you into a death drip hug. "We hope you feel better soon. Don't we Joel?"
Her boyfriend grabbed her away from you, nodding and smiling. "Yes, rain check. Another time."
You said your goodbyes and kissed Grant one last time before heading threw the crowd that was now thinned out. Must be late. You had to find Emma to ask if you could bum a ride back to her place. Suddenly you stopped.
Alan wouldn't be there right? You smacked your hand against your forehead. She did invite him! So he probably will.
"Shit!" You cursed, getting weird glances from a few people. You had to get home some how. Defiantly couldn't go to Grant not with how mixed up your emotions were right now. You needed someplace quiet where you could think about ... Everything. About seeing Alan again.
You found yourself wandering through the halls of the movie director's mansion. You didn't really know much about him.
"Except he's rich..." You snorted turning down yet another long hallway. Though this hallway had a even longer balcony. "Must be at the back of the mansion." You walked through the double door and sighed when cool air hit your over heated body. Walking up to the railing you leaned your forearms against it and looked over his incredible backyard and the beautiful night sky.
"How many pools does one person need?"
Guessing 3.
Your eyes followed the pathways adorned with small cute lights. This place is exactly what you needed. Quiet and peaceful.
Okay Y/N... Think. Did he have feelings for you still?
"Didn't really have time to notice 'cuz you practically feel to the floor." You grumbled to yourself.
You have Grant now... You lo-like him. A lot.
You hung your head. "Can't even say the L word. I'm pathetic."
Stupid. You nodded.
Probably end up hurting him. You frowned. You didn't want to but...
"I'm a terrible person." You groaned.
"I don't think so." Another voice said behind you. You cringed not turning around.
Maybe it was someone else with a deep silky voice. You rolled your eyes. Well it was worth a try.
"What are you doing out here, Y/N?" Alan asked, his voice a lot closer now but you still didn't turn around.
"Thinking. I'm not one for parties."
"I remember." He chuckled. "I actually was trying to get away also. Seems that a young women by the name of Shay is very interested in...Us." At the mention of Shay, you turned to him with wide eyes.
"She must have went crazy when she saw you." You laughed. "She a sweet girl."
"She's.... Interesting." Alan smiled at you. His beautiful hazel eyes sparkled even more under the light and stars.
God you missed him. His Jacket in his hand and a few buttons undone on his white dress shirt, still made you weak in the knees. "Are you cold?" He walked over and leaned against the rail next to you, offering you his jacket.
Yes.
"No. I'm fine thanks." You whispered.
He nodded before you both looked out over the yard.
At first the silence was awkward but then it turned into familiarity. Being in his presences always made you feel safe and calm.
Still does. You chuckled. Yeah still does.
"I'm sorry if I ruined your night." Alan murmured breaking the silence. You gaped at him.
"Alan, you didn't ruin my night!" You made it so much better "I was just taken by surprise when I saw you is all..." You watched him smile and play with his hands. Obviously nervous about my reaction.
"Emma told me about your degree in English. She actually sent me a video of your graduation." That hit you like a ton of bricks. Emma never told you that. You heart swelled against your chest. Don't cry!
"E-Emma never told me."
"Because I asked her not to tell you. I knew you moved on. I didn't want to... I don't know." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
"Oh." You looked down at your shoes. Oh?! That's it?
"I'm proud of you, Y/N. Very proud."
Kiss him. No I can't. I'm with Grant.
Who? Stop it.
"Thank you. That means a lot to me." You blushed, the anxiety of this whole situation starting to get to you. "But it seems I'm right where I left off. Acting. Annoying dose of irony." You huffed.
"I've seen you act, Y/N. You're so talented."
"You were my teacher." You reminded him.
"Rest my case." Alan laughed, hands up. "But really, I never miss one of your movies.
"There has only been two, Alan." You tease.
"Still. There will be more to come. Especially when you win for best actress." He grins. Your mouth drops open.
Alan Rickman thinks you can win best actress!
"I have a lot of talented women to run against! I probably won't even be nominated this year or next! Two films, Al! Everyone else is veterans." You talked all animated with your hands. Alan only shrug and said how he thought you would win. You two were quite for a while before you spoke. "I never missed anything you did either."
"Really?"
You nodded. "Really."
Both of you were just standing there, so close yet so far, just looking into each others eyes.
Please kiss him. Please!
That thought rolled into your mind and you quickly tried to make it go away. Clearing your throat you calmly ask what time it was.
"It's 11:04." He looked at his watch then back to you.
"I probably should be going. Today has..... Today has been a day." You sighed. For a second you thought you saw sadness rush over Alan's features but he quickly put a small smile back on.
"Yeah, um I'm glad we could talk." Alan said, letting his hand run across the railing. You smiled at him your hand had a mind of it's own because it reached out and rested a top his.
"I'm glad we did too!" You almost rushed out when you felt the spark send goosebumps up your arm. You half expected him to pull away but he didn't. No instead his attention was down cast to both your hands, lips pursued and eyes narrowed. Maybe you took it too far. Maybe... You should leave now. He seemed to have his closure even though you felt like you were leaving him for the second time. You retracted your hand and went to leave. "Goodbye, Alan." Tears were now welling up but you tried to stop them. Until you get home then you could ball your eyes out. reached for the door handle but stopped when you heard, what could only be Alan cussing under his breath. You turned and nearly jumped when you came face to well, face to neck with a very angry looking Alan only an inch or two away now. His chest heaving with each deep breath and his jacket clinched tightly in his fist.
"Alan! What are you-" your heart was beating so fast you thought you might actually die. He slammed his jacket on the ground - oh good your dead. He's going to kill you - and lunged at you. Grabbing your waist and pulling you into his body, his soft lips met yours in a hungry kiss. Stunned you put your hands to his chest to push him away but when his tongue ran across your lower lip you gave in. The slut you know your lips to be, when it came to Alan, gladly parted to let him dominate the kiss further. Your hands wandered up his chest, danced along his strong shoulders to finally threaded them in his soft hair. A path your mind and body knew by heart and were itching to do. He pulled you closer now that your hands weren't in his way. The cold night air was nothing now being pressed and held so tightly against his warm strong frame. You knew your nipples were hard and sensitive rubbing against the material of your dress and his shirt which caused you to moan against his mouth. If you passed out due to lack of oxygen from Alan kissing you breathless that was perfectly fine with you. Large hands went to rest just above the curve of your ass when Alan started trailing his hot kisses down your neck. Leaving you to gasp for air and tug on his silvery locks in protest for breaking the kiss.
"Alan!" You breathed, more horny then stunned.
"You look so bloody beautiful, Y/n." His voice deep and laced with lust. Alan hid his face in the crook of your neck and breathed in your sent which you were already enjoying his. He tastes and smells so fucking good!
Now you wanted to feel him without these blasted clothes on. You both were trying to calm down though it wasn't exactly working. "I'm sorry. I couldn't control myself." He murmured against the flushed skin of your neck.
"Don't be sorry," you chuckled. The Alan Rickman couldn't control himself.
Every women's fantasy!
"You know I don't kiss other guys girl friends, but I.. You look so..." He leaned back and was just as stunned as you.
"Like I'm trying to hard?" You tried to joke but Alan shook his head.
"Sexy. So delicious, that I want to ravish every inch of you. Right here. Right. Now." He growled the dark look in his eyes back. You bit your lip and played with the hair on the nap of his neck.
Yes, please.
All the passion filled nights with him came flooding into your head making you whimper and press yourself closer. You needed some type of friction or you'd go crazy.
"I hate seeing you with him," He frowned. "He's younger... Better looking and I realised I'm way too old for you."
Grant... He's talking about your boyfriend. You completely forgot about him. Oh God. Wait- did he just...say HE was too old for you. You were more than angry. He always put himself down. Hey you were all for self deprecation in comedy but you knew Alan and it hurt you to hear what he thought sometimes about himself.
Too old?! TOO OLD MY ASS! You pressed your finger to his chest and brought him closer by his neck.
"Now you listen here Alan Sidney Patrick Rickman! You know I hate when you talk down about yourself. You promised me you'd stop!" You scorned him. Alan looked down, eyes shut and nodded his head. You caressed his cheek, enjoying the start of stuble you found there, and lifted his head to meet your gaze. "Alan, look at me." You said in a more softer tone.
He shook his head like a stubborn child.
"Alan." You warned. "Please."
After a few seconds he finally opened his eyes. "Sorry." Was all he murmured again.
"I wish you could see what I see. You'd see and smart, funny, handsome man. So incredibly charming and chivalrous. With a voice that can make any woman drop her panties just like that." You snapped your finger, wiggling your eye brows at him. He chuckled, rolling his eyes and pulling you close once again. You fiddled with his opened shirt collar, leaning up to kiss his lips lightly. "Besides Grant makes me feel old. He wants to party and drink and all I want to do is curl up in bed with a good book."
"Now you know how I felt!"
"Hey I'm only 3 year older than him! I'm not cut out dating guys close to my age." You smiled up at him expecting him to tease your more but he didn't. In fact he looked very serious.
"Come home with me."
Your heart started doing cartwheels around your ribs.
"What...."
"Y/n, I want you to come home with me. Please, love."
"Alan.. I can't just-"
"You're a big star now! You can find work in London. Directors will be calling you non stop for roles. Please, darling." He pressed his forehead against yours. I mean he wasn't wrong... You weren't a struggling actress anymore. Could you and Alan give your relationship another go?
"We can't just pick up where we left of, I-"
"We won't. We'll start new and fresh like a new script." He was making you actually believe you two could make this work. Damn his voice.
"You know if we actually due this someone has to tell Emma. And you know she's going to gloat and rub it in." You slipped your arms around his waist and leaned into him.
"Damn, she won't let us live this down." You shake your head, "we just won't tell her." He winks, hugging you tightly.
"Yeah okay! She can probably sense it right now." You both laugh.
"True. So what do you say? We both have missed each other.. We still love each other. And I'm finding out I can't stand seeing you wrapped in another man's arms."
"I do miss you." You slid your hands down over his backside, giving his fine ass a tight squeeze. "And I'm still madly in love with you."
"Truly madly deeply in love with me?" He grinned, kissing your forehead.
"Yes. I'm truly madly deeply incredibly still in love with you."
He went to open his mouth but you kissed him quickly before he could say anything. "Sorry, handsome but if we play that little game we will be here all night." Alan pouted but quickly regained his smile. He picked up his jacket and put it on you. His delicious smell engulfed your senses making your mouth water. He begin to redue the buttons up all the way covering your once very visible skin of your chest.
"You're mine." He stated. You missed dominate Alan. "No man will see what's mine."
"So that means your mine." You smile innocently up at him, your hands reduing the buttons on his white shirt. "Can't have women drooling over what's mine." When you reached the last button you gave his chest a little pat. "Right, Al?" He smirked, taking your hand in his and pressed soft kisses to your knuckle.
"Come on!" He started to tug you back down the where you came from.
"Wait, Mr. Long legs! Where are we going?"
"Home."
You smiled truly happy. You'd have to tell Grant.. Which you were dreading. Though if you told him now he'd probably be too drunk to understand. You'd cross that bridge when you get there. Right now all you can see is the love of your life - now back in your life - holding your hand and wisking you away.
Always the chivalrous gentlemen.