Year Two, 12 Months Ago
Jhenea was wiping down the counters soon as Anthony waltzed into the kitchen. Lately she had been waking up in the middle of the night for some odd reason even she couldn't explain.
She always ended up eating or cleaning and every so often Anthony would join her when he realized she wasn't in bed.
"It's 3:25 AM and you in here bein' a headass?" He shook his head while taking a seat on one of the stools that surrounded the island.
Jhenea shrugged, "I cant help it, I made brownies though," She smiled while retrieving the tray from the oven with an oven mit on her right hand.
"Headass," He chuckled while getting up to pour himself a glass of milk.
Jhenea let the joke go and indulged in the brownies she had been letting cool for the past fifteen minutes. Being nice, Anthony also poured her a glass of milk so they can both enjoy.
"You leave tomorrow afternoon," Anthony reminded her causing her to roll her eyes.
"You must be real eager to have some girl up in here, you've been reminding me a lot,"
Anthony scoffed. " I know damn sure whatever girl I do have in here when you split ain't gone be making no brownies at 3 AM."
Jhenea stale faced him. "What is she going to be doing then Anthony?"
Being obnoxious he decided to get under her skin, cackling out in laughter he responded. "She gone be ass up face down,"
Taking the closest thing in reach she tossed it at him. With her bad aim, the butter knife made it no where near him. "You think everything is a joke not knowing I would bust the meanest U-turn from Atlanta to stab you in your sleep,"
Picking up the butter knife from the ground he held it up. "With this?" He raised a brow taking her as a joke.
Reaching over the island Jhenea grabbed a handful of his hair yanking him off his high horse. His face was planted against the marble counter while he warned her to ease up. "You think I'm playing? Have another female in here if you want to," She let his hair go after she felt he had enough.
Anthony got up massaging his scalp. "That just made you real ugly," He scrunched up his face in disgust.
Jhenea waved him off.
A moment later his phone went off causing Jhenea to go retrieve it for him since he was too lazy to head back upstairs.
She wasn't the least bit alarmed he was getting calls this time of night because that's what his business entailed. "Who that?" He asked.
Jhenea looked down at the phone reading the caller ID. "Bless," She responded while sliding the phone over to him.
Anthony reluctantly answered the phone turning the opposite way so his back could be facing Jhenea. "Talk." He answered not giving the typical greeting.
Jhenea didn't try to eavesdrop, she just continued to eat her brownies.
The phone call didn't last long before he hung up.
"You gone be cool here by yourself for a lil' bit?" He asked Jhenea.
She nodded. "I'm a big girl,"
Anthony smirked. "You gone stay up for me to show me how grown you are?"
Jhenea screwed up her face. "That just made you real ugly," She mimicked him.
Anthony sucked his teeth before using his hand to mush her face. "You always playin' wit' a nigga top," He shook his head before exiting the kitchen to get dressed into something casual.
He slid on some sweats and a hoodie over his tank top. He grabbed his keys and phone before heading downstairs. "I'll be right back, I love you alright,"
Jhenea stood on her tippy toes kissing his lips. "I love you more,"
Anthony smirked grabbing her chin lightly. "Keep that same energy mama," He smacked her rear before making his exit before he ended up staying.
Getting in his car, the drive wasn't too long. He arrived to his destination within twenty minutes.
Parking his car, he locked it before heading into the apartment building.
Without knocking he entered the apartment with ease. "Blessing hurry yo' ass up," He called out before taking a seat on her white couches.
"I'm coming!" She shouted from the back room.
Anthony scrolled through his phone occupying his time as he waited for Blessing to make her way out.
After a five minute wait, Anthony felt his phone get snatched out of his hand. "Man what I tell you about that shit? Don't touch shit that don't belong to you," He held his hand out for his phone which she placed back into his hold. She had a habit of taking his phone right out of his hands no matter the situation. It was annoying as hell, especially since he had to constantly remind her that she wasn't allowed to do that.
She rolled her eyes. Her attitude was ten times worse than Jhenea's, but she was easy on the eyes so that gave her a pass. "I have a surprise for you," She grinned while straddling his lap.
Anthony groaned. "You called me over to play or get straight to the point?" If he recalled correctly, over the phone she promised it would be quick and now she was just doing the most.
"You always have a damn attitude Anthony, can you at least act like you wanna be here," She cut his eyes at him
Anthony shook his head. "I don't though. Last time I was here you pulled some wild ass shit like you my girl or something. Honestly, I ain't really fuckin' wit' you no more." His bluntness didn't phase Blessing at all. She was use to him and how he operated.
"Get over it," She planted a light kiss on the 'A' tattoo on his neck.
Anthony lightly pushed her off knowing if he let her continue Jhenea wouldn't be seeing him no time soon.
"Get to the point Blessing," He sighed. His hands planted on her curvy waist giving her the indication that he wanted otherwise, but to keep him from going off on her she did as told.
Reaching behind her she handed him a small box that was tied with a red bow. "Fuck is this?" Anthony raised a brow at her.
"Open it up."
Anthony pulled the bow off the box before taking the lid off. His face screwed up as he eyed two positive pregnancy test. "We're having a baby," She beamed.
His face remained unchanged which caused Blessing to desperately try to cheer him up.
Annoyed by her, he pushed her off of him causing her to roughly land on the cushion beside him.
He stood up still holding the pregnancy test in his hand. "We not havin' shit. I don't want a damn baby especially not with you Blessing,"
Offended, Blessing folded her arms against her chest. "Excuse me Anthony?"
"You heard what the fuck I said," He shrugged his shoulders carelessly while tossing the pregnancy test back at her. He went into his pocket pulling out a stack of cash. Peeling away ten-100 dollar bills he placed it on the counter before stuffing his stack back into his pocket.
"Get rid of it before I get rid of you,"
Year Two, Present
Today wasn't an enticing day. It was dark and caused both Anthony and Jhenea to feel drained.
Anthony looked down at the tattoo he had crannied in the space between his thumb and index finger. The date stared back him causing him to feel guilty.
Jhenea sat on the floor of her bathroom. The door locked and dried tears cached her flawless skin. Her eyes were puffy, her nose was irritated and red from all the tissues she had used.
Both her and Anthony knew that this was the time they needed to speak to one another and help them get through the day, however their pride wouldn't allow.
It was 1 AM and Jhenea was sure that she had drained herself from all the tears she could cry. She had a dream that didn't sit well with her spirit. It caused her to think of a moment in her life she desperately tried to forget. She thought she overcame the adversity once she had her baby boy Artist, but it still bothered and saddened her.
She lost a baby.
This was something she thought she would never heal from.
No matter how many kids she may have in the future. None of them could replace the one she lost.
Last night she slept in bed with Artist. She knew the day was coming and she need a lot of comfort for it.
Although Artist filled that void of comfort that was left empty by Anthony. She felt guilty that Artist couldn't fill the void that was left empty by the baby she lost.
Anthony was left with nothing to do but dwell in sadness. He couldn't talk to anyone about this if it wasn't Jhenea. Only Jhenea knew how bad it hurt. Only Jhenea knew exactly what to say and just how to say it to make him feel better.
Although they were feeling the same kind of pain. They weren't feeling the same kind of guilt.
Jhenea felt guilty because she thought she was being ungrateful. She had a beautiful and smart baby boy that was healthy and alive, yet all she could think about was the what if's.
Anthony on the other hand, felt guilty because he thought that his bad karma is what caused him and Jhenea to loose their baby.
Whenever he thought about his loss, he thought about how he forced Blessing to give up her baby. He thought maybe that propelled the end of Jhenea's pregnancy and caused it to be so tragic. Maybe God wanted him to feel that same hurt Blessing felt when she had to put an end on the life of her baby.
He felt as if this was all his fault and Jhenea had nothing to do with it.
He believed his actions fell onto Jhenea like dominos and she now had to deal with the sadness of the loss of a child.
Jhenea stood up from the tile floor. She pulled her spandex shorts down a bit before inching her way towards the sink. She washed her face away from any clear signs of crying. She used hot water to deflate the puffiness that circulated her almond shaped eyes.
"Get over it Jhenea no one is dwelling on this but you. Be grateful that you have a healthy baby boy now," She gave herself tough love. Usually it would be Anthony giving her the tough love, but now she was left to face it all alone.
As she stood at the mirror, she couldn't help but to think what Anthony was doing at the exact moment. She wondered was he tossing and turning about it. She doubted it though, Anthony would never loose any sleep over something that bothered her so much.
Realizing that she no longer had a reason to be up, she went to find comfort in her bed that she shared with her son for the night.
With a chuckle she gazed at Artist who had kicked the duvet off of him. His curly hair clouded his face as his pajama bottom had one pant leg up to his knee while the other remained the same. He was a wild sleeper, hence the fact that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to sleep in his mother's bed.
She was afraid that one night he would just roll completely off.
Tonight she secured her arms around him cuddling him into her chest.
She pulled the duvet over the both of them and fell sound asleep.
Later that morning, Jhenea woke up pretty late since she was up later than usual.
She knew she could've slept longer but after Artist rubbed his dirty diaper in her face, she knew it was time to wake the hell up.
She carried him out in front of her not wanting to get to close to the horrific smell again. Arriving in his nursery she prepped herself to change his diaper.
"What the hell did you feed him, he literally stunk up the entire hallway," Jai pinched her nose together.
Artist laughed while Jhenea scrunched her face up in disgust. "Lamont had him all day yesterday, he probably fed him everything under the sun," Opening up the diaper she was faced with his waste. Artist kept his legs up finding his mother's faces extremely amusing.
After five minutes of cleaning up his diaper, she opted on giving him a morning bath.
The boy was horrible.
He splashed the water all over her and even yanked her hair.
"Okay you brat, your done," She muttered while towel drying his body and hair.
"No," He shook his head scrunching up his face just like Lamont would do often.
Jhenea sighed. "Lamont has corrupted my poor son,"
As she was getting him dressed Lamont got him all hyper by walking into his room. He sat up with his arms in the air waiting for his god father to pick him up. Lamont did just that after handing the phone to Jhenea.
Jhenea furrowed her brows. "Who's this?" Jhenea asked not bothering to speak to the person yet.
"You tell me,"Lamont shrugged while exiting the room with Artist on his hip.
Putting the phone to her ear Jhenea sighed. "Hello," She breathed out. Just by Lamont's action's she knew exactly who it was, and she wasn't thrilled to speak to that person. She didn't have the energy to fight anymore.
She heard him clear his throat. "Hello,"
A silence cut through them. No one knew what to say to the other.
Jhenea ended the silence. "Anthony if you came to argue then just end the call, I can't bare to argue with you right now," Her tone was somewhat pleading. That made him realize how much time they had spent clawing at each other's neck instead of actually conversing with one another.
Anthony shook his head no. "I called to see how you were doing," His voice was low and it didn't hold as much anger as it held the last few times they've spoken.
She knew this act would only last for this day and this day only so she took advantage. Running her fingers through her hair she combed it over to the other side of her face. "I'm good. Taking it slow today. You?" She exalted a stress ridden breath.
"I'm good now that I know you ain't lettin' this day get a hold of you,"
Jhenea wanted to ask why he had such a change in heart, but she was afraid. She didn't want to trigger him and have him upset all over again. "Yeah I'm trying. But I talked to Dieon and I just wanted to let you know that we can have a peaceful divorce. I don't want anything of yours and you shouldn't need anything of mine. I can agree on fifty/ fifty custody with Jian and take him down to New Orleans so you can have your visits as much as possible. I'm planned to go to Switzerland next Tuesday so everything should be working out on your end,"
Hearing this shocked Anthony. He didn't expect her to be mature about anything when it came to their divorce. He expected her to be just as bitter and spiteful as she was at the visit when she denied him permission on seeing his son. This was different. She was doing things the right way and putting her feelings aside.
Anthony nodded. "I appreciate it. I'll make sure you got the best protection out there," He assured.
"Alright then, if that's all—"
"Wait—" He halted her from hanging up.
She sighed. "Yes Anthony,"
"Xander— he a cool dude. He don't even have a traffic ticket under his name. You can keep him around,"
Jhenea chuckled lightly. "That was my plan." Anthony and Lamont felt like assholes when Dieon got back to them with Xander's record. He had a clean slate and didn't even have things expunged like Lamont and the guys. He was legit and wasn't a bad guy at all.
Anthony nodded. "One more thing,"
Jhenea awaited on the other end of the line. "I love you. I know we over, but that'll never change,"
Jhenea bit down on her bottom lip. Her entire body began to tingle as her stomach swarmed with butterflies. Although her body reacted as it always would have, her mind didn't. It seemed to reject Anthony's emotional truth. "It's too late for that. I'm glad you're okay though, thanks for the call." Before he could utter out another word, Jhenea hung up.
"That was so awkward," Jhenea mumbled shaking her head of all thoughts that centered Anthony.
"Very," Lamont agreed trudging back into the room while unclamping his hand away from Artist's mouth.
Jhenea smacked him on his arm. "You were eavesdropping, and you hushed my son?"
Lamont shrugged. "Or you was just speaking really loud and he put my hand there,"
She rolled her eyes at the fact that he found an answer for everything. "So y'all good now? I heard an I love you when I was in the hall," Lamont smiled still holding faith for the two.
Jhenea shook her head no. "We still have to figure out the conditions of our divorce, but other than that we're okay. Whether we end our marriage or not, we'll still have that love for each other," Jhenea explained.
Lamont groaned. "So who I'm gone be spendin' Christmas and Thanksgiving with?"
Jhenea shrugged with a short lived laugh. "Whoever you so please,"
Lamont shook his head as he handed Artist off to Jhenea. "Y'all get on my last nerve," He complained as he walked out of the nursery.
***
— Deion when you said protection I didn't think of 4 burly dudes building a wall around me!
Delivered 12:07 PM
Deion
— The guys wanted to make sure your security was top of the line. They are all trusted by Anthony and will have their eyes on you at all times.
Received 12:25 PM
"Mrs.Taylor, we've arrived," Jhenea heard a raspy voice speak to her. It was masculine and very intimidating.
Looking up from her phone Jhenea was faced with a 6'5 male. His dark cocoa skin was just as alluring as his Colgate smile. He had a full beard that surrounded his soft lips. Jhenea eyed him. His name was stitched into his black blazer that allowed him to be on one accord with the other three men.
Eneek
Courteous, he extended out his hand to aid Jhenea out of the car. Reluctantly, Jhenea places her hand in his and he assisted her out.
The warm weather of Switzerland bundled her with a welcome. Her black sundress swayed whimsically at her ankles easing her nerves. Tucking her hair behind her ear she prevented it from clouding her vision.
Eneek had let go of her hand once she safely made it onto the pavement.
Jhenea took an overwhelming look around. For her safety, she was set to stay in a house instead of a public hotel. She didn't expect it to be so big since she would be alone, but it was rare to find anything small in Switzerland.
"Mrs.Taylor, you can make yourself comfortable in your home, we'll have your things in right behind you," Eneek explained as the other three men were already on the verge of hauling Jhenea's items inside.
Jhenea's brows furrowed. She looked up at Eneek. "I'm sorry, but did you just say my home?"
Eneek nodded. "Yes Mrs.Taylor, your home,"He clarifies. "Is there a problem?"
Jhenea ran a hand down her bare face. She opted out on any make up since she had to endure a straining flight from LA to Switzerland. Shaking her head she responded. "No there's no problem, thank you Eneek." She assured him.
Eneek nodded and fell in line behind her. Jhenea made her way up the four short steps before she reached the grand entrance of the home.
Eneek held the door open for her allowing her to take a step inside. Her eyes glanced down to the marble floors all the way up to the raised ceilings of the home.
She kept her hands in front of her afraid that if she touched anything she would ruin the perfection of the home.
"Mrs.Taylor," Eneek called. Jhenea was beginning to realize that he was the leader and the voice out of the four men.
Jhenea turned around to face him. "We have strict orders from your husband; he wants you to do nothing alone, and stay in this house at all times unless it has something to do with business. Me and my men will be here at all times. Two will be stationed at the back of the house and the other and I will be stationed at the front. If you need anything that is not accessible in the home, you are to contact me to allow one of us to go retrieve it for you. Other than that, you are free to do as you please,"
Jhenea rolled her eyes at the fact that Anthony still found a way to call orders when he was stuffed away in a cell. "I appreciate it Eneek," Jhenea gave a soft smile.
All she really wanted to do was get in bed and call her son, she knew that task alone would be a hassle since the time difference was so drastic. She was now nine hours ahead of LA.
Eneek nodded his head and made his way out of the home following the other three men.
Jhenea took yet another look around. A shaky breath exalted out of her.
She stepped out of her Gucci thong sandals. Her bare feet made contact with the cold marble floor. A shudder creeped up her spine as she navigated deeper in the home.
She took the closest left and found herself in the kitchen. The white and stainless steel blended together beautifully. Jhenea glided her hand smoothly along the white and gray marble countertop.
Stopping, her hand came in contact with a file folder. Suspicious and curiosity piqued her mind getting the best of her. Opening it up, she looked down at a sealed white envelope. The penmanship alluded her name neatly. Twiddling it in her hand, she opened it up.
A folded loose leaf paper slid right out of it. Unfolding it, she realize it was a letter. Handwriting she knew all to well that differed from the one on the front of the envelope was etched on both sides of the paper.
Jhenea,
I don't want to start this letter off with an apology, but that's really the first thing that comes to mind when I think of you. I fucked up, like always. I pushed you away, called you things that you were way beyond, and disrespected you constantly. That's not what I intended to do, but I won't use excuses to lessen my wrongs. I take full responsibility for everything up to this point.
I take responsibility for the destruction of our family, marriage and bond. I have a clear understanding that you've done all you could and all I've done was be unappreciative. You've stuck it through with me from good to bad and I thank you for that. You've been nothing but honest and I feel guilty for that since all I've been doing is hiding things from you.
With intentions of telling you nothing but the truth from now on, I'm gonna tell you the the truth about the biggest things I've been hiding from you lately.
I have this mental disorder, I rather not give any names to it. I'm sure you've noticed that I'm not the most sane person in the world. I do irrational shit, I like being in complete control, my anger is something that can't be tamed and my health isn't the best. I've been dealing with this since the age of 17. When we first started dating, I was taking my medication constantly so this disorder wouldn't be so noticeable.
But we went further than I ever anticipated. I grew to love you and felt like there was nothing to hide. I stopped taking my medication about a year into our relationship. When I was around you I didn't feel like a nut case or like a person who needed to take constant medication. You relaxed me a bit and the more you were around the less I felt like I was crazy.
You were like a different type of medication and that's why I kept you close for all those years. That didn't last long through since you used to piss me the hell off every two seconds. I realized that my anger and need for ultimate control was beginning to be overwhelming. So I went back to taking my medication around the second time we got back together. Hence the fact I was so compliant to a lot of shit like communication and even counseling.
You probably thought I was changing for the better, but truthfully all the good you wanted to come out of me was already there. I just needed the medication to tone my ego down a bit.
I know this doesn't serve as an excuse as to why I was so horrible the last few weeks we were together before you went to LA, but I'm sure you can put two and two together. The drugs and the medication didn't mix well together and like everyone says, two wrongs doesn't make a right.
The second thing I've been hiding from you are my past doings. I know this is something that shouldn't be said through some jail letter, but I feel like I've been keeping this from you long enough. When we started messing around while you were in Atlanta we both agreed that it was okay to do our own thing separate from each other. Well as a man, I took full advantage of that. I'm sure you're familiar with Blessing, she was the girl who pulled that wild ass stunt back in Miami. Our relationship was strictly based on sex, nothing more nothing less.
I made a mistake which led to her getting pregnant. This was way before we lost our child, but I still feel like Blessing's and I situation plays a big role in it. When Blessing told me she was pregnant I wasn't feeling it at all. She wasn't the woman I seen myself having a child with so I gave her money for an abortion. I just feel like we lost something because I took something away from Blessing.
I always told you that the loss of our child was because of my bad karma. I know you never understood what I meant by that, but now I hope you find some closure in my truth.
This was pretty cowardly of me to tell you this through a letter when I had ample opportunities to tell you this face to face so I could bare the consequences. I just couldn't hold it in any more. I know we're pretty much over with, but I still owe you the truth.
I hope this holds you over,
Anthony.
Jhenea let out a bitter chuckle. "He takes me as a joke," She shook her head as she turned the gas stove on. The blue flame flickered on serving as the perfect waste bin for all of Anthony's bullshit. She watched as the flame devoured his sorrows and truths.
The letter immediately turned into ashes and disintegrated to no existence.
"Fuck him,"
Jhenea was only about her and Artist now. She was putting herself first and Anthony behind her.
Obviously they weren't meant to be.
____________________________________
Y'all gone stop threatening me for an update 😂
Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this update. It's just something slight💖
But if you guys are looking for some good reads while I'm in the middle of updating go check out
Southside (2 Part Series, Tez & Amei)
And Tears of a Clown. (1 Book , Gunna & Olivia)
Those two books have been the only books I've been reading and they have me HOOKED!