CASEY WASN'T BOTHERED. Or so she claimed. She was pacing around Evan's room, talking his ear off about Izzie. She had originally come for "round four," but after that was over, she began pacing the room and talking, only wearing Evan's oversized tee. While Casey talked, her boyfriend laid in his bed, slightly disinterested. It had been the same thing for the past twenty minutes, Izzie this and Izzie that. Evan loved his girlfriend, but this Izzie business was getting to him. She was getting way too obsessive.
"Casey," Evan chided, "I think you need to take a breather."
"I can't take a breather," she retorted, much angrier than she had intended to be. "She fucking hates me! How dare she spend so much time at the other tables, yet give us not even a second glance? Aren't we supposed to be best fucking friends? Where the fuck did that go!?"
"Case-"
"Don't Casey me," she grumbled, running a hand through her hair. "Honestly, how dare she? She was the fucking bitch to me, playing hot and cold and everything. She barely had time to blink at us! Then she went to slut around with those college boys..."
Casey paused, freezing in her tracks as the words she said hit her.
Suddenly, Casey realized why Evan was insistent on her stopping. She realized she had gone too far, let her emotions get the best of her. Izzie wasn't a slut, quite the opposite. Casey just got rather worked up. She took a quavering breath as her true emotions hit her. She knew she was just jealous, that she was still way too hung up on Izzie. Casey sat down on the bed and closed her eyes, unsure of what to do. The brunette knew exactly why she was that mad about the situation, and she felt sad. She felt the regret, thinking that should've just taken the leap and told Izzie how she felt. Now, it was too late. Izzie was off, probably having fun with college boys, finding herself another Nate, all because Casey was too scared.
"Casey, are you okay?" Evan asked, coming up by his girlfriend and putting a hand on her back.
That hand was well-intentioned, but it just made Casey feel worse. Here she was, in the room of her boyfriend, but she was thinking about a girl, a girl who was miles away. Casey was guilty, and she felt like finally she understood what Elsa did what she did.The track star knew that Evan deserved to know what was going on. She knew she shouldn't be with him if she was feeling emotions for someone else. But it was so hard to let go. She couldn't bear to break Evan's heart right now. She loved him. Even though she felt something for Izzie, it didn't change that she loved Evan. The way she felt about the two were completely different, and she didn't know how to handle it.
"Evan... I'm not okay," Casey confessed, looking up at him before burying her face into her hands.
Concern was written all over his face. Concern for a monster, someone who didn't deserve any of it. Casey believed that she deserved no sympathy, that she was just as bad, if not worse, than her mother. She was a hypocrite; she saw exactly how her mother's mistakes had ruined her family, ruined her father, yet she continued to live a lie. And Casey's situation was even worse: she felt actual emotion for Izzie. If it was solely sexual, solely attraction, then it would be easier to handle. But it wasn't. What she felt for Izzie was unique, and it made her feel scared, scared of her own emotions and feelings.
"You can tell me anything, you know?" Evan tried not to pry, but it was hard when he was concerned. He knew Casey was hiding something, but he wanted to wait until she was ready to tell him. He had rushed into things with her once already, and he wasn't going to make the same mistake. "Is it something at home?"
Casey shook her head sadly.
"Are you and Sharice in a fight?" Another shake. "You and Izzie?"
"I don't even know anymore; that's the problem," Casey sighed, turning to face Evan.
She had a defeated look on her face, a look she rarely wore. Evan knew Casey to be one of the strongest people in the world, having to deal with all the shit her family, school, etc put her through. She didn't deserve any of that pain, but it had allowed her to grow. It had toughened her up. She learned not to ask for help, to figure out stuff on her own because there was always an answer out there. So she never showed defeat. She kept her head held high.
Seeing Casey all sad and hopeless was new for Evan. Hell, it was new for her. Casey didn't think the defeated look was good on her, and lucky for her, she normally never let her guard down like this because no issue was ever worth being weak over. But now, she had no clue what to do about Izzie. She had no clue how to handle her emotions. She had no clue how she would even begin to tell anyone that she liked a girl, much less Evan.
So she didn't tell him right away. She didn't have the courage. Her greatest weakness was her lack of courage. Casey realized that she had always been weak; she just never wanted to acknowledge it. And now, with Izzie, her weakness was further exacerbated. She was afraid to put herself on the line, and it was biting her in the ass right now.
"Case, do you wanna go home? It's almost..." Evan paused, checking the time on his phone, "nine o'clock. Your parents are gonna be worried soon."
Casey nodded in agreement, but couldn't bring herself to get up. Even though being in Evan's room caused her to feel tons of guilt, it was better than at home. There, she was alone with her thoughts. And her thoughts were ruthless. They tried to suffocate her, ripping her apart - piece by piece. They filled her head, making her dizzy and nauseous. They broke her mercilessly. They ran wild, and there was no one there to reign them in.
Of course, she could go to her dad or her mom, maybe even Sam for a distraction or for help, but they all had other things to do. Casey was never the first priority of the house, and she understand that. There were other circumstances, and she was never the one to be selfish. She actually hated the spotlight, being the sole focus, so usually, Sam's priority was welcome. But now, Casey was drowning, and it seemed that no one could be there to save her.
***
Izzie had never felt better. After she left the diner with Sawyer, they got into the blonde's car and drove off. Normally, Izzie carpooled with Kat, who was nice enough, but always wanted to stay super late, which Izzie just didn't have the patience for. Izzie never liked to put in overtime. She never got paid for it, and she had another, more pressing job to do at home. However, tonight, with the intentions of staying out, Izzie had hired a sitter. That also allowed for Lydia to have a well-deserved break with her friends, so it was a win-win.
Now, Sawyer and Izzie were in the car, Izzie sitting shotgun. Izzie propped her legs up on the dashboard, leaning back in her seat. The radio was playing some indie music, and even though Izzie knew none of them, it felt good to be listening to the mellow songs during a summer night. The car was a convertible, so the roof was down, allowing for the wind to get all in their hair.
Izzie tried not to stare, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sawyer, with her blonde tresses flowing behind her. The track captain couldn't lie, Sawyer was beautiful. Even with the wind whipping her hair all over the place, she looked perfect. Sawyer was bobbing her head to a song, and Izzie smiled when she saw how her lips were mouthing the words. It seemed so cliche, driving around while playing music from the radio, that Izzie felt she was in a movie. The two hadn't really spoken in awhile, but the silence was welcome. However, Izzie decided that talking was a little better than not.
"Where are we headed?"
"My place?" Sawyer offered. "The 'rents are out of town, so I've got the apartment to myself."
"The 'rents?" the track captain raised an eyebrow, chuckling a bit.
"Shush, that's what I call them," the blonde rolled her eyes, turning her attention back onto the road. "No need for judgement."
"I'm not judging," Izzie lied, smiling while she said it.
"Yeah you are," Sawyer looked at Izzie through the mirror briefly, grinning and flashing a perfect set of sparkling white teeth. "It's okay. You're lucky you're cute."
Izzie blushed, before trying to will away the dark color that was rushing to her cheeks. She tried to remember the last time she blushed at a compliment, but her attempts were fruitless. Izzie hadn't thought that anyone could elicit that response from her, but here was a girl who could do just like that. Based on what Jane said, Izzie knew Sawyer was definitely a charmer. Sawyer had a skill, the skill to draw women to her, and Izzie didn't really understand it, but she was beyond intrigued. And if she were being completely honest, Izzie was falling for it.
After a little bit, Sawyer moved her hand from its position on gear shift onto Izzie's left thigh. The dark-haired girl shivered a bit at the touch, not expecting it. She was wearing a pair of really short shorts, although she was pretty sure it was against Gloria's dress code. However, her bosses didn't really care, so why should she? Now, Izzie definitely wasn't regretting it, as she wanted Sawyer to reach as high as she wanted.
Sawyer began to draw circles in Izzie's thigh, just barely touching her skin with the tip of her finger. Izzie was tensing up, but she wanted more. She wanted complete contact, not just this teasing game Sawyer was playing. Sawyer noticed that and smirked at the response she was getting. From an earlier questioning of Jane, she knew that Izzie was getting over some girl from her school who she liked or something. Sawyer didn't pry any further since she knew it wasn't any of her business. Izzie was just a friend's friend who happened to be their waitress, nothing more.
After hearing about how Izzie was still hung up on someone, Sawyer had originally intended to bow out of the way, as she wanted to respect her boundaries. Sure, Izzie was attractive and all, but there were girls like her everywhere. However, Izzie stuck around, throwing signs all of the place. The two had a lot of conversation, until the blonde was sure the other girl wanted more. And sure enough, here they were. Alone in Sawyer's car, driving around the town.
"Is this what you do to all of your girls?" Izzie wondered out loud.
Sawyer shifted her eyes once more, trying to figure out what Izzie's angle was. "I have a feeling you don't want me to say yes."
"So the answer's yes?"
"Possibly," Sawyer shrugged. "Although, I have never let a girl put her feet up on my baby's dashboard. This is a 1960 Cadillac, you know."
"Oh shit, sorry," Izzie went to move her legs, but Sawyer chuckled, motioning that it was alright.
"Don't worry about it, you're special," the blonde winked. "I spent all this time refurbishing for someone as pretty as you to ride in it."
"Now that has to be a line," Izzie remarked.
"Maybe,"
There was a bit of silence as Izzie considered the truth in Sawyer's words. She had little to no idea what part of the blonde's act was genuine, so she played it cautious. She didn't want to get hurt by another girl so soon. Sawyer didn't seem to mind the interrogation, so Izzie continued.
"How do you do this so often?" she questioned. "Are the 'rents out often?"
"Every weekend," Sawyer nodded. "And I hear you mocking me. Not gonna lie, I'm a bit hurt."
"You'll live," Izzie waved it off. "I hear you do this often."
"I do," Sawyer agreed, "but you're special."
Izzie was going to ask another question to determine the integrity of that statement. However, she was interrupted by the car pulling into a parking lot. They were near the outskirts of the downtown area, where many apartment complexes stood. Sawyer drove the car into her designated spot. Before parking, she put the roof back up and rolled up the windows. Then, she shifted the gear properly and took her keys out of the slot.
"We're here," she said, despite it being obvious. "You good to go?"
Izzie bit her lip. She didn't really know what was going to happen when they went upstairs, and she didn't really know if she wanted to. It wasn't like she was a virgin, but was this what she wanted?
"You good?" Sawyer asked when Izzie didn't respond for several achingly long seconds. "If you're not ready, or like a virgin or something, it's cool."
"I'm not," Izzie clarified, not really sure why she did. "I just... don't want to..." She thought about what she wanted to say. "It's complicated."
Sawyer sucked in air through her teeth. She had a feeling something like this would happen, which is why she wanted to avoid the situation altogether. The blonde was kind of hurt, but she knew that Jane definitely painted her as the town's resident Casanova, so she couldn't blame Izzie for her prejudices. However, she could try to change Izzie's mind. Because Sawyer didn't just want sex from Izzie. She felt something else with the raven-haired girl, a magnetism that pulled her in much like her charm pulled other girls in.
"Okay," Sawyer treaded lightly. "Listen, I know you think I'm this big charmer who's just going to leave you hanging once I've got what I got, but I swear... this is different."
"How do I know you're not lying?" Izzie challenged.
Sawyer thought for a second. She had only known Izzie for a couple hours, was it smart to let her guard down so early? Should she show Izzie her hand? The blonde never let people see that vulnerable side to her, the side with feelings, because normally, she didn't have them. But for Izzie, the beautiful girl she had just met, it seemed different. There was something about her.
"Izzie, I know it's hard to believe me, but I feel something for you. I know I sleep around, and normally I wouldn't give a shit if you turned me down, but this is different. However, Jane told me you like someone, so if you're still hung up on her, that's okay. I can't expect you to reciprocate whatever this is if you have someone else,"
"But what if I feel it, too?" Izzie stared at her feet, unable to make eye contact with the other girl. She had already put her heart on the line once this summer, not sure where it was going, and it didn't turn out so good. But something in Sawyer's tone told Izzie that she was being honest.
"Then that's good for us," Sawyer gently took Izzie's chin in her hands, bringing it up so that they were face to face. She placed a soft kiss on Izzie's cheek. "I'll take my time."
If Sawyer was going to be honest with herself, she would admit that she didn't really know what she was doing. She had dated a little bit during middle school, but tended to dump the guys she saw within a month. Then, she started dating girls, but the result was still the same. The last time she had a girlfriend, back in freshman year, she cheated on her within two weeks. Now, she was a rising senior, and she hadn't been in a committed relationship since. She wasn't really sure why she decided that now of all times would be the best time to date, but it was summer, so who cared? She would give monogamy a spin.
"You know," Izzie mused, "your soft side is very endearing. You should play that side up next time you try to hook up with some girl."
"Well if I'm lucky, I won't have to hook up with 'some girl' for awhile now,"
"Okay, Sawyer," Izzie couldn't help but smile at the line.
"You wanna go up now?" Sawyer asked. "We don't have to do anything-"
"I know," Izzie interrupted, giving Sawyer a soft smile. "Let's go."
***
Izzie woke up in a room she didn't really recognize. The walls were eggshell, and sunlight was pouring through the windows, since the curtains were thin and virtually useless. Izzie groaned. It felt way too early.
"Morning, sunshine," a familiar voice greeted her from the opposite side of the bed. "Tough morning?"
The raven-haired girl glanced over, confirming what she already knew. She was in bed with Sawyer, the attractive blonde that she had run off with after her shift at the diner. They were in her room. Luckily, the two of them were clothed, so Izzie could shut down the thoughts running through her head.
"Early morning," Izzie corrected. "When the hell did we fall asleep last night?"
"Don't know, maybe four-ish?" Sawyer chuckled. "It's eleven, you got seven hours, is that not enough?"
Izzie looked up lazily at the blonde. She was not disheveled at all, looking rather put together considering that they fell asleep past midnight. How did she do it? Izzie figured it must be the charmer magic doing its thing.
"I need an extra five hours," Izzie grumbled, shoving a pillow over her head.
"Nope," Sawyer pulled the pillow off. "Your phone has been going off for the past ten minutes. If you didn't wake up soon, I would've kicked you off. You're lucky I'm not snooping to figure out who the hell it is. But if I were you, I'd call whoever's been calling you back."
Oh shit, Izzie thought. It was probably Lydia, wondering where she had been. She gingerly took her phone, which was buzzing yet again. Checking the caller ID, Sawyer saw that it indeed was her sister who was calling. She accepted the call, bracing for the yelling that would in fact come.
"Isabella Valeria San Maria! Where the fuck are you?" a shrill voice answered the phone.
Sawyer heard this, even from where she was sitting, and stifled a chuckle. Izzie turned around, flipping the blonde off.
"Okay. First off, you are not my mother; you're my younger sister for fuck's sake!" Izzie joked, knowing that it would irritate Lydia just a bit. "I'll be home soon."
"How soon is soon?"
"Soon enough,"
"Would you like to tell me where you are now?" Lydia continued to pry.
"At a... friend's house," Izzie wasn't sure what to call it, so she just left it as friend. She looked over at Sawyer when she said that, and the blonde seem to have no reaction. "I'll be getting a ride home soon."
"You better," Lydia grumbled. "It's supposed to be my day off from taking care of everything."
"I know. I'll be there in twenty minutes,"
"I'll hold you to that,"
With that, they said their goodbyes, and Izzie looked sheepishly at Sawyer.
"So I gather you need to go?" the blonde raised an inquisitive eyebrow. It was perfectly groomed, and Izzie was slightly jealous. She really was perfect.
"Yeah," Izzie ran a hand through her messy hair. "Thanks for letting me crash, and hopefully giving me a ride...?"
"Of course, you fool," Sawyer chuckled, grabbing a light jacket and her car keys from her nightstand. "Go get ready; we'll leave in a few."
They made it without a second to spare. Izzie and Sawyer shared a lingering goodbye, and Izzie got out of the car. She walked up the porch steps slowly, not really ready to leave that perfect night behind. However, she knew she had to go back to reality. She walked up the porch steps, before entering the house.
"There you are," Lydia greeted. "Why are you smiling so wide?"
Izzie hadn't even noticed it, but she hadn't stopped smiling since she got back. She didn't really know what to say to that because she didn't even know why she was grinning like a fool. So she gave a vague answer.
"Just a good night, I guess."