hello guys thank you all very much for your wishes of luck on my psych exam. i got my grade back and let's not talk about that. anywho, if you finish this and are waiting for an update, read my other book The Pursuit of Felicity. if you read that, then read another one of my books or just spam this one with comments- yall know i love it. anyway, here's your update. i hope yall enjoy.
This week has been a little easier. Maya and I hung out on Monday and Asa discreetly joined us by sitting on the recliner and listening in on our conversation. We all got lunch on Tuesday - Aria included; there were only three chairs so Asa pulled one up between him and Aria for me, which was a little awkward. On Wednesday, Maya and I presented our history project, officially ending the educational tie that existed between us. And today, Friday, I was invited over again, but for a different reason.
"What should I make? I'm freaking out. What if she's vegetarian? Or vegan? Should I just do pasta? What if she thinks that's bland?" Maya rambles as she searches through the cabinets. Asa watches her breakdown from his spot propped against the kitchen table. He's been here from the start but I just walked in and am already feeling overwhelmed.
"How about you ask her?" Asa proposes and Maya shakes her head.
"No! I told her I'd cook for her and surprise her," Maya replies as she runs a hand through her hair. "I don't even know if this is a date! I can't even tell if she's into me!"
Asa and I look at each other as she continues to pace around the kitchen, occasionally peering into a cabinet that she's already rummaged through four times over. "Maya..." I start, hoping to get her to calm down.
"And I still have to shower! She's going to be here in an hour and a half!" she rambles as she starts to fan herself.
"You go shower. I'll start cooking," Asa insists as he grabs her shoulders and guides her towards her room.
"But-but," she starts to excuse but he keeps walking.
"Shower. I'll cook," he demands and she doesn't fight too much. I watch as he returns to the kitchen and analyzes the cabinets. He purses his lips and starts picking boxes and bags out, creating a makeshift meal. He looks into the fridge and nods. "Great, she didn't defrost anything. I guess this is going to be a vegetarian dish."
I watch as he washes his hands and gets started on Maya's dinner. Apparently, her coworker, Rebecca, from the coffee shop proposed that they hang out but gave no other background. From what I've been told, Rebecca flirts with her all the time and Maya thinks she may be interested. She's been a nervous wreck since they made the plans yesterday morning.
"Are you just going to hide in your room while they're here?" I ask Asa after he washes off the vegetables.
"I don't know," he responds with a sigh. "I haven't thought that far ahead."
"Hang with Aria?" I question awkwardly and he shakes his head.
"She's hanging out with Tyson today," he explains in a casual voice. I give a slow nod as I think about proposing that we hang out. Would that be weird? After our encounter last Friday, I feel like it wouldn't be. Plus, he did say we're friends and he doesn't seem to be the type to use the word friends casually.
"We could always hang out," I blurt before immediately feeling embarrassment wash over me. Why'd I sound so desperate? "You know, if you want."
He doesn't seem as surprised as I expected him to. He simply shakes the strainer to rid of the excess water and nods. "Sure," he confirms and I stare in shock. I didn't think he'd say no but I was anticipating a brief interrogation first. He didn't ask what we'd do or where we'd do it. He just said yes.
"Alright," I nod as I watch him chop the tomatoes into tiny pieces. "What are you making?"
"Uh...burrito bowls," he admits as he puts a pan of water on the stove. "Quick, easy, and it doesn't require meat. Plus, it tastes good."
Soon enough, Maya comes out and waves her phone around frantically. "She's on her way!" she announces nervously. "She's going to be early. Is it almost done?"
"Yes," Asa confirms as he places the ingredients out. "I didn't combine it in case she didn't like something and wanted to exclude it. All you have to do is set the table."
"Are you going to stay here?" she wonders as she assesses the meal he prepared.
"No, Poison and I are going to hang out," he informs her as he washes his hands once more.
She winks at me suggestively before making a confirmative noise. "Okay, so leave. Now."
"You're welcome," he comments as he turns to face her. With a large grin, she wraps her arms around his waist in a vice grip style hug.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she insists. "Now get the hell out of here."
She waves her hands at us to urge us out of the apartment. I jump off the counter and Asa hurriedly dries his hands and throws away the paper towel. He pats his pockets before deeming the contents worthy of leaving the house. I lead the way, swinging my keychain around as I think about what we could possibly do.
Once we exit the stairwell, he snags his keys from his pocket but I hold mine up. "I'm driving," I insist and he slowly and hesitantly tucks his away. I lead the way to my car, which he wordlessly gets into. He buckles his seatbelt without me having to say so and watches me start the car and pull onto the road.
"So where are we going?" he asks and I shrug.
"I don't know. Is there anything you want to do?" I reply as I start in the direction of my dorm building. It's near the center of campus and hopefully by the time we reach it we'll have figured out our plans for the night.
"Not really," he replies with a shrug.
"Are there any good movies out?" I question him and he searches it up on his phone. A few minutes later, he offers me a weak head shake. "Okay, well, are you hungry?"
"Not now," he answers. "But I will be eventually."
"So..." I trail in hopes that he'll propose an idea. When he doesn't speak, I sigh and notice my dorm building in the distance. I guess my goal of having an agenda by the time we reached it fell short.
"Can I see what your dorm looks like?" he puzzles me by asking. I never thought he had an interest in seeing my living quarters.
"Sure," I confirm. Good thing I cleaned up this morning. Let's just hope my roommate did the same. "We could always just hang out there and watch The Office."
"Sounds good to me," he concurs as I grow closer to the familiar building. I pull into the lot and find a parking space with him waiting patiently beside me. I get out and usher him towards the entrance, where I swipe us in and let the door slam shut behind us.
"Welcome to my humble abode," I mutter as I motion to the prison-like cement walls around me.
"I haven't been in a dorm building in a while," he announces thoughtlessly as he looks around at the metal staircase. "Well, I helped Aria move some stuff into her dorm last week."
I lead the way upstairs with my eyes trained on the steps ahead of me. Should I ask him what he and Aria are? Would that be too bold of me? "Are you dating her?" I inquire in an attempt to sound casual. Instead, I sound a little too curious.
"Aria?" he asks in slight disbelief. He doesn't seem to catch on to the desperation in my voice. Hopefully I'm the only one that picked up on it. Knowing him, he'd call me out on it.
"That's who we're talking about, right?" I reply as we walk up the second flight of steps.
"No," he replies before feeling the need to add: "I'm not dating her."
"You sure?" I reply in a playful tone. In reality, my teeth are clenched as I wait for him to explain how they both like each other but haven't moved into the dating stage yet.
"Aria likes Tyson," he informs me bluntly, which sends a bit of relief through my chest. But does he like her?
"Does that upset you?" I try my best to stay ahead of him. I'm having a hard enough time maintaining my voice; my face is giving everything away.
"Are you asking me if I like her?" he questions me in slight disbelief.
"No..." I trail before deciding to take advantage. "But do you?"
"No, Ivy, I don't," he answers without skipping a beat.
"Oh...cool," I conclude as I turn to unlock my door. I'm grateful my roommate went home for the weekend. She wrote a note on the whiteboard this morning that she'd be leaving for her father's birthday. She left her side of the room half decent. Her bed is made but practically all of her clothes are spread out on top of it. And her shoes are scattered underneath her bed but as long as the surrounding area is clean, I don't care.
"Not really," he replies casually as I remove my shoes. He follows suit as he assesses the small space. "I'm assuming that side is yours." He nods to my bed and I offer him a short nod. I wonder if it weren't for Danica's mess, would it be that noticeable? Aside from the pictures of me and my friends, it's pretty standard; my blankets and curtains are red. Almost everything else is gray or white. I kept it simple so I wouldn't have to repurchase anything if I decide to change the color of my bedspread. He walks further into the room and looks around curiously. His eyes fall on my picture wall and he leans closer to get a better view.
"Is this Drew?" he blurts, which surprises me. I wasn't sure he even remembered that I told him about my ex-boyfriend, never mind his name. Then again, I was the drunk one, not him. I wonder exactly how much he remembers from that night.
I look over his shoulder and find my senior prom pictures with the one and only Andrew Tucker. "Yes," I answer as I cringe a little at the memory. Prom was a good night but it was also extremely awkward. My brother was practically my chaperone and Andrew and I weren't allowed to do anything after prom without Ian and his date.
He tilts his head as he assesses the picture. "You didn't look horrible at prom," he concludes.
"Thanks?" I reply hesitantly as I pull myself onto my bed.
"For someone who claims to be over their ex, you sure do have a lot of pictures of him," he mumbles as he continues to absorb my board. He plucks certain pictures and grabs the corners of others. I watch him squint as he looks at the smaller polaroid camera printouts.
"In addition to being my boyfriend, he was one of my best friends," I tell Asa, who doesn't reply. "Besides, my picture board would look empty without those photos."
"Do you still talk to him?" he wonders, "other than when he texted you on your birthday?"
"I didn't even text him back that time...wait, who told you about that?" I blurt when I realize I didn't tell him myself. I told Maya and Aaliyah and then deleted the conversation.
"Maya," he exposes his source carelessly. I'm not surprised at all and instead of getting annoyed, I just offer him a shrug.
"Well, no I don't talk to him anymore," I answer as I watch him look at the photos of me and my brothers as kids. "Isn't it funny how he said happy birthday to me but you didn't?"
"I did," he corrects me.
"Yeah, 24 hours in," I retort and he turns to look at me with raised brows.
"If you hand an assignment in at 11:58 when it's due at midnight, you still expect full credit, right?" he supposes as he joins me on my bed. He stretches his legs out in front of him and presses his back against the wall, taking up a lot more space than I expected. I don't mind, though.
"Do you not expect judgment from the professor for being so close to the deadline?" I retort with a tilted head and he grins at me. His gaze pans back over to my picture board again, which he squints at curiously.
"Was he the reason why you were upset last week?" he asks and I scoff and shake my head. If only he knew.
"No," I answer with a shake of my head.
"Do you miss him at all?" he continues to ask and I stare at him with furrowed brows.
"No," I confess, wanting to ask why he has so many questions. I decide against it when I realize that this is his way of trying to get to know me. "I told you; it was a relationship out of convenience. I felt more guilty than sad when we broke up because I let it go on for so long."
"Are you capable of genuinely liking someone?" he continues to interrogate and I answer a little too quickly.
"Yes," I confirm, which gets raised brows from him.
"You answered that pretty fast," he responds with a smug grin. "Did Zack help to prove that one?"
I narrow my eyes at him. "Shut up, Aria," I bite back and his mouth drops open in an entertained gape.
"I told you literally ten minutes that I don't like her and there's nothing going on between us," he reminds me, which gets a roll of my eyes.
It brings me a sense of comfort that he's being transparent. "As I have about Zack a million times?" I retort and he lets his shoulders rise and fall. We stare at each other for a few seconds and I watch as he licks his lips slowly. My gaze rises back to his eyes and I find that he's smiling at me. It's not a smirk but a genuine, lips-turned-upward, happy Asa smile. Before I can tease him about what's making him so happy, he opens his mouth to speak.
"She thinks you're pretty," he blurts and I tilt my head in confusion. What were we talking about? He notices my disorientation because he lets out a breathy laugh. "Aria."
"Oh," I say with a nod. "Tell her I said thanks and that she's pretty, too."
"I will... She wants to hang out with you," he informs me and I raise a brow, which prompts him to say more: "she thinks you guys will be good friends. Of course I rejected her invite for you but I figured it was a message worth passing on."
"Why?" I ask before inching closer. "Are you scared I'm going to find out some of your secrets?"
"Like what?" he throws his head back and laughs. When I don't answer, he leans forward a bit. "What secrets will you find out about, Ivy?"
"I don't know. Let me hang out with Aria and I'll report back to you," I retort as I place a hand under my chin. He assesses my face before letting out another chuckle.
"I trust her enough to know that she won't tell my secrets," he responds as he rests back against my wall.
"Oh, so you do tell her secrets?" I ask as I shift my head to the side and he represses a smirk as he nods. "Like what?" I nudge his leg and he only continues to watch me with an entertained look on his face. "Do you have a secret crush on someone?"
"Do you?" he counters with that same mischievous expression.
"If you won't tell me then I'm not telling you," I retort with a shake of my head. He chuckles at this and I feel my heart-rate start to increase.
"So you do?" he concurs with curious glance.
"Do you?" I press again, feeling my stomach start to shift. Where's this conversation going?
"I don't know. It's hard to tell," he shrugs before nodding at me, "what about you?"
"Oddly enough, same," I conclude with a slow nod.
His eyes flit between both of mine and a full on grin overtakes his face. "Zack playing hard to get?" he wonders and I give a loud sigh. Instead of rolling my eyes like I want to, I flip the situation back onto him.
"Is Aria?" I turn the question, which gets another cackle from him.
"I genuinely don't understand what made you think we were dating," he announces as he licks his lips again. I glance down at my hands this time, trying to think of something that won't make me sound jealous. 'You spend a lot of time with her.'
"She just acted like a girlfriend," I respond with a gangly shoulder shrug, "she...she referred to me as your friend."
"If we aren't friends, then what are we?" he pesters and I feel my face heating up as I lock eyes with him. I immediately avert my gaze and shake my head.
"No, she said it like she wasn't your friend," I respond in an attempt to save myself. "She said it was nice to meet Asa's friends, as if she was your girlfriend and she enjoyed meeting people you hang out with."
"Oh..." he trails before shaking his head. "No, she just doesn't know how to not sound weird. She thinks you're a nice person and like I said before, she wants to hang out."
"Okay," I nod and he waits for me to continue on with my statement. "I'll hang out with her."
"Really?" he questions and I nod again.
"I don't see why not. Will it just be me and her or will you be there, too? And Maya?" I wonder and he grins widely.
"I'll be there," he insists. "I have to ensure that she doesn't tell any of my secrets."
"Alright just let me know when," I respond and he gives me a slow nod.
"So...you promised there'd be The Office," he reminds me and I point at him for a second before practically throwing myself across the bed towards my dresser. I manage to grab my laptop, pull myself back, and turn it on. Once I have it cued up, I hand it to him and somehow, he recalls the exact episode we stopped watching at. I move so that I'm sitting beside him on my small bed and watch as he places the laptop on the bed in front of us.
I wait for him to start it but he doesn't. He takes his time making a more comfortable situation with my horde of pillows. Then, he grabs my laptop and lays down. It takes me a second to realize that we're going to fall into our previous position. I join him and place my head on his chest again. I even go as far as to sling my arm over his stomach and take in a handful of his sweater. The familiar falter of his breathing greets my ear and I smile up at the screen.
Just like last time, I'm too aware of the closeness of his body to bother focusing. I can feel the warmth radiating from his chest and every time I inhale, there are strong traces of him. I still feel a little on edge in my comfortable state. This is the same boy that goes out of his way to ensure that we make no kind of physical contact whatsoever. Now he's willingly laying beside me in my bed and letting me cuddle with him for the second time.
The episode ends soon enough and he shifts a bit beneath me. I watch as the next episode cues up but he doesn't make a move to speed up the process. I crane my neck to look at him and I find that his gaze is waiting for me. "Do you want to watch something else?" he questions.
"No, this is fine," I reply as I keep my eyes locked on his. Our faces have never been this close except for that one time in the car when we both reached for my bag. I wonder what he'd do if I kissed him- just a quick peck.
"You seem kind of distracted," he acknowledges as he drags his tongue across his lips again. Does he always lick his lips this much? I swallow nervously at the proximity of his face to mine. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I close my mouth and pretend like I'm thinking long and hard about something but in reality, I'm giving myself a second to take in his features. Except, I stare for more than a second. His slightly bushy brows rest naturally on his face as if he's content with the situation he's in. His luscious lips are parted and moistened, with his tongue sitting between his teeth, poised to speak. I meet his gaze and find that his brown eyes are laced with amusement and satisfaction. I wonder if he can tell that all I want to do is slam my mouth against his.
"Huh?" I ask, feeling slightly disoriented as I blink myself from my stupor.
"You okay?" he asks as he bites lightly on his lower lip. I think he knows what he's doing.
"Yes," I confirm after feeling my heart rate increase. It's hard to hear him over the sound of the rapid beating.
"Like I said, you seem distracted," he repeats with a large grin on his face. I break my gaze from his face and rest my head back on his chest.
"Just play the show, Asa," I reply in a disappointed huff.
We lay like that for what feels like hours but is realistically forty five minutes. I hear his stomach growl and peek up at him. A sheepish look takes over his face as he stares back at me, "sorry, I'm hungry."
"I can tell," I respond as I sit up. He follows my lead, shuts my laptop, and pushes it off to the side. "Let's go get something to eat."
"I want pizza," he announces as he pulls himself from my bed.
"Okay, then we'll get pizza," I concur as I prepare to get off my bed. He holds his hands out, which surprises me. I take them and he softens my landing on the ground before starting towards the door and pulling on his shoes. I do the same and lock the door once we head out. Together, we start in the direction of the parking lot in silence.
"Do you want to sit down or take it to go?" I ask as I drive towards our local pizza joint.
"Sit down," he insists and I offer him a slow nod. He texts on his phone for most of the ride and I don't complain. I hate driving at night and having him distract me wouldn't benefit either of us. By the time we reach the restaurant, he's put his phone away and is eagerly patting at his stomach.
"Come on," he pleads as I take my time parking the car. Once the keys are out of the ignition, he's practically racing to the sidewalk. I watch as he pulls open the door and lets himself in. I remove my seatbelt and fight back a smile as I take my time entering the restaurant. When I meet him, he's tucking his wallet away. "I got a large cheese pizza."
"How much was it?" I ask him and he shakes his head dismissively. "Thanks..."
"I got you a bottle of water," he says as he hands me the cold bottle. I uncap it and take a slow sip. He watches me as a droplet of water drips down my chin and onto my neck. He quickly averts his gaze and stares into the open oven, where our pizza is being made. I gaze up at him in his mesmerized state, trying to figure out what the hell goes on in his mind.
When our pizza is finished, I carry it to the table and he hungrily watches as I slowly put it down. Immediately, he's pulling a slice away and taking a large bite. I join him but much slower and less desperately. After he eats four pieces, he shifts in his chair happily and grins widely at me.
"You're smiling an awful lot today," I acknowledge as I take a bite of my crust.
"So?" he counters with a mouthful of food. "Am I not allowed to smile?"
I offer him a shrug as I keep my gaze locked on his face. "No, I like it when you smile," I decide to compliment. "You have a nice smile."
"I have a feeling you just like looking at my mouth," he announces and my eyebrows shoot up on my face.
"What?" I blurt in surprise and he offers me a teasing head shake.
"Nothing," he concludes with a cheeky grin. I ignore the heating up of my cheeks as I wipe my hands on a napkin.
"When can I bring you home? I'm sick of you," I retort jokingly, which gets a laugh from him.
"Maya finished her dinner date halfway through our Netflix session," he informs me. "They're now at the movies."
"So you chose to hang out with me for extra time?" I question and his shoulders rise and fall quickly.
"I'm here, right?" he retorts pettily as he swings around his next piece of pizza.
"So sassy, Asa," I announce and he offers me a shrug as he takes a sip of his drink.
"I'm always sassy," he assures me before chuckling to himself. "Always classy, super sassy, and never trashy."
I belt out in laughter at the way his voice turns feminine to announce the quote. "You're definitely trashy," I tell him with a grin.
We continue to go back and forth with what I'm assuming is us flirting. I try to gauge it the entire time. He's typically quiet and shy but now he's being blunt and teasing, which is a good sign, right? When we're on the way back to the apartment, I feel my heart start to race. Maybe he's been licking his lips so much to see if I notice. What if he tries to kiss me?
I pull up to the building only to find that every spot is taken. A bright red jeep idles in front of the house with someone leaning into the driver's side window. I turn to Asa to see if he wants to just get out here or wait. I find that he's already staring at me. I glance in the rearview mirror and check if any cars are coming before allowing my gaze to settle on him.
"So..." I prompt awkwardly when he doesn't open his mouth to speak. I watch as his mouth spreads into an entertained smile and his eyes briefly roll. His smile hits me like a flu because the corners of my mouth pull upward and my gaze falls down to my hands for a second. "Like I said, you've been smiling a lot."
"I thought you liked my smile," he responds as he rests his head against the headrest. His eyes continue to search my face and I swallow nervously.
"I do," I confirm before attempting to appear mysterious. I rub my chin lightly as I tilt my head. "Or do I just enjoy looking at your mouth?"
"You can take a closer look if you'd like," he insists and his eyes fall to my mouth for a brief second. My stomach sits in my feet as I stare back at him in genuine surprise. Am I reading too into things? Is he proposing that I kiss him? Judging by the cloud of sexual tension sitting between us, I'd say so, but what if he's just insisting that I come closer to genuinely admire his smile?
"You mean...?" I trail awkwardly as I blink out of my shock. His grin doesn't waver and he slowly nods, as if I'd left him waiting for a while. I only continue to stare at him, now allowing my eyebrows to rise on my forehead. "No, like, do you mean-?"
"Yes, Poison, that is what I mean," he concludes as he bobs his head up and down. Are we on the same page? I can't tell. I don't want to move in to kiss him and make everything awkward.
"No, Asa, like...you have to say what you mean because I don't know if we're thinking the same thing," I insist as I wave my hands between us. He raises his hands to his face and lets out a slow chuckle.
"Nice, Ivy," he exhales and I can tell I've ruined whatever moment we just had.
"Sorry?" I blurt with a confused look on my face. Just in time, Maya's hand comes slapping down on my window, which causes me to jump so hard that I nearly get choked out by my seatbelt. I roll down the window when I see that it's her.
"Hi!" she greets cheerily as she leans into the window. I shift backwards as she looks between me and Asa, who is now unbuckling his seatbelt.
"Bye, Poison," he concurs our meeting with a teasing glance. I watch longingly as he walks around the car and starts up the steps to the apartment. A quiet huff inadvertently escapes from my mouth when I realize how big of an opportunity I just lost.
"Did I interrupt something?" Maya wonders as she peers over her shoulder for a second. I stare in confusion at the double doors before offering Maya a forced smile. "Oh no, were you guys going to kiss or something?"
Not wanting to expose the situation for what it may have-or could have-been, I look at my nonexistent watch. "Well, would you look at the time? I've got to run. Text me all about your date!" I encourage as I watch her slowly back up with a look of pure confusion on her face. I speed off down the road and let out a deep exhale of relief. Now, Asa's going to be the one getting questioned. Maybe then Maya will give me some answers.