No Body No Crime □■ Hermione...

By Queen_of_Fandomland

287K 13.9K 3.8K

~previously titled Milk And Honey~ "She thinks he did it but she just can't prove it" The child of disowned t... More

Authors Note
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43

Chapter 16

6.5K 392 133
By Queen_of_Fandomland


Assassinate Snape and get me a time turner and oh some Veritaserum.

-ARLENE BLACK BURKE

And maybe okay will be our always.

HERMIONE GRANGER-


The next day was slightly better, it was a weekend so Arlene didn't have any classes, although she did have detention, which she was dreading as she thought of all the horrible things Snape could force her and Weasley to do, from rearranging library books to cleaning the entrance hall with toothbrushes.

Thankfully, the day also included Sage and her being attached at the hip, and hopefully finding an excuse to spend time with Hermione, possibly discussing Wizarding Philosophy a bit more.

Having woken up early, Arlene had the privilege of getting to use the bathroom first and the luxury of getting enough time to decide on what to wear.

Not caring what people thought about her appearance did not mean Arlene did not want to dress to impress, which was clear whenever she stood in front of her closet to decide on what to wear.

Despite Hogwarts having uniforms, there was a long list of clothes to choose from. There was the basic shirt and skirt or trousers, you could wear a tie or a scarf or just leave it at that, but you could also wear the jumper or blazer or if you're on the quidditch team, a varsity, not to mention, the same outfit looks completely different on two people.

For example, both Arlene and Pansy usually wore the same shirt, skirt and green tie, but while Pansy wore fish net thighs and heels, Arlene wore black tights and ankle boots, that and the fact that Arlene would usually unbutton the first three buttons, Pansy's skirt was shorter, Arlene never tied her tie properly and always rolled up her sleeves made them look completely different.

Finally, seeing as Arlene would be working with Sage on the next Hogwarts Weekly paper and serving detention, Arlene decided to simply wear trousers, shirt and her converse, then she grabbed her tie and tied up her hair into a messy ponytail with it.

"The first game is tomorrow, how awesome is that?" Sage said, for what seems to be the millionth time.

They were both sitting in the window seat of the HW room, barley getting any work done.

There was four sections in the Hogwarts Weekly, Section A was News and Opinions, aka, What Did Potter Do This Time and a little recap of all the drama around the castle.

Sections B, Entertainment and people, aka the crossword, gossip and recommendations for some books, recipes, products (quidditch gear brands, makeup brands, Honeyducks sweats, etc)

Section C, Health and Safety, aka random tips that they found in magazines, a bunch of DIYs and What Did Flitch Ban This Time.

Section E, Sports

They were due to publish tomorrow and all they had done was circle a bunch of interesting stuff in a muggle magazine, very vague information about the rumored breakup of Kyle from Ravenclaw and Amy from Gryffindor and the plan to write the article about the upcoming match.

"Still bitter about that." Arlene sighed, staring at a bird landing next to the window.

"At least Hufflepuff is going to crush Gryffindor," Sage replied, trying to sound optimistic "I mean, I heard Gryffindor didn't even practice, oh how I love the pros of low expectations!"

Arlene grinned at Sage's childlike excitement, it was true, people usually mistook stereotypical Hufflepuff kindness as being pushovers, but it was mostly Gryffindors, having them always being in the limelight and the rest of the houses getting pushed to the curb limited their interactions with them.

Which is why from most Gryffindors' perspective, Ravenclaws were goody two shoe bookworms, Slytherins were the spawns of the devil and Hufflepuffs were potatoes, one might say that that was reverse house prejudice, but it was true.

"And you have Cedric." Arlene added, remembering the strong build Seeker.

Sage's eyes lit up "Oh yeah, I totally forgot to tell you! So last night I was-"

For the next six hours or so, Arlene remained in Sage's company, they talked, they laughed, eventually getting to work and finishing the articles (well, Sage wrote the articles, Arlene drew the pictures and made the crossword) then after lunch, Arlene had to go to detention.

"Urgh." Arlene groaned as she stood up from the Hufflepuff table to go to Snape's office.

Sage rolled her eyes as she put down her tea "It won't be that bad, just try not to provoke him."

"I can't help it," Arlene whined "I just hate that man so much! I swear, if I was in a room with Hitler, Voldemort and Snape and I had a gun with two bullets, I would shoot Snape twice."

"That's lovely to hear, Ms. Black." The horrible voice that causes Arlene to involuntarily put on her 'kill-me-now' face was heard.

Professor Snape stood behind her with Ron Weasley, who, along with Sage, was struggling to stop himself from laughing.

"I don't plan on standing here all day, Ms. Black." Snape told her with a sneer.

Arlene handed her bag to Sage and made her way to Snape, who was already walking away.

"Oh come on," Arlene protested as she caught up with him "don't tell me you were under the impression that I actually liked you."

Ron covered his mouth with his hand to muffle the sound of his laughter, Snape simply glared at her as they came to a stop outside the Hospital Wing.

"You will be scrubbing the bedpans," Snape announced "without magic."

Honestly? Arlene expected something much worse, but the look on Snape's face told her something was off.

"We can check on Professor Lupin will we're at it." She told Ron, who was already starting to protest.

She meant it as a jab at Snape, but he smiled nastily "Ah yes, you could check on Professor Lupin."

With nothing else to be said, Snape left them with Madame Pomfrey, who told Ron to do the ones on the left and Arlene the ones on the right.

It wasn't that hard, as a matter of fact, the bedpans didn't even look like they needed scrubbing, bringing her think about why Snape would make them do this.

The answer became clear when halfway through detention Arlene noticed that other than the hexed first year and the fifth year with the stomachache, the Hospital Wing was empty.

Then where was Lupin?

Suddenly, Arlene remembered the conversation she overheard the night that they slept in the great hall, Snape suspected Lupin was helping Sirius Black, and he was trying to plant the same suspicion in them, probably hoping that if it was bought up to Dumbledore by someone other than him, it would convince him.

The last thing Arlene wanted was to start agreeing with Snape, but it made sense, they knew nothing about him and he disappeared randomly with a false excuse.

But not being in the hospital wing doesn't mean he was lying, he could be in his room, or at St. Mungo's, plus, Dumbledore hired him and she wasn't saying his choice of teachers was brilliant, but he knew what he was doing.

Do you really trust that man?

The statement kept getting repeated in her head, Paloma always talked positively about Dumbledore and he is one of the most respected Wizards.

Then why didn't her father trust him?

All these questions were giving her a headache, but fortunately, she was able to finish quickly. Unfortunately, Ron wasn't even halfway through, she would've helped him, but she was in no mood to play nice.

Arlene located Sage at the Hogwarts Weekly room, sitting on the floor as she wrote in a notebook.

Arlene groaned and threw herself beside her, then dropped her head into Sage's lap.

"Bad detention?" Sage questioned, not looking up from her notebook.

Arlene gave her a muffled "Uh huh."

"Is there something I can do to make it better?" Sage continued, scribbling down something.

"Assassinate Snape," she said, lifting her head up "and get me a time turner and oh some Veritaserum."

The Hufflepuff raised an eyebrow "I meant, like, a cup of tea or something."

Arlene opened her mouth to reply, only to be cut off by the door opening.

"Arlene?" The bushy haired girl questioned.

Arlene scrambled to her feet, clearly aware of how horrid she looked, her hair was messy and tangled into her tie which was barley holding it up and her shirt was dirty because of various events, from dropping ink while helping Sage write points, that jam covered toast she ate at breakfast to all the cleaning she did while serving detention.

But Hermione didn't seem to mind, she simply invited herself in and went to close the door when Sage stood up.

"Leave the door open," She told her "I have something to do that requires me not being in this room."

Hermione frowned but waited until Sage was out the door before closing it.

Arlene cleared her throat "So uh, you needed something?"

Hermione broke her gaze away from the door "Um, yeah, you were in detention with Ron, right? Do you know where he is?"

"He still didn't finish," she told her "still had a lot of work to do when I left."

"Oh," Hermione said, disappointment written all over her face "sorry to bother you then, I'll just leav-"

Hermione turned to leave and in the heat of the moment, Arlene took a chance.

"Stay."

The other girl frowned "What?"

"Stay," Arlene repeated "your friend is in detention, my friend is Merlin knows where, we could hang out, maybe you can tell me a bit about that book you're reading?"

Hermione bit her lip, causing Arlene to summon every ounce of will power to not melt on the spot, and stayed quiet for a few seconds, as if thinking it over.

"Okay." Hermione decides as she sat down next to Arlene.

She grinned "Okay."

Almost involuntarily, without skipping a beat, Hermione said "And maybe okay will be our always."

Arlene stared at Hermione with pure admiration, although Hermione probably saw it as judgment.

"I'm so sorry, it's a muggle reference, I-" she started, attempting to make an excuse.

"The Fault In Our Stars," Arlene, excitement filling her "yeah I love that book."

Hermione grinned, she was not used to being able to fangirl over books with anybody except that nice librarian in the public library back home "Yeah, but the ending-"

"I know."

"And that part with Isaac and Monica-"

"I know."

"Or that part with the-"

"I know!"

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