– Saturday, May 26th, 2018 –
"I'm telling you," Finnley hisses annoyed. "We start at the beginning."
"We're not taking him to the apartment." The voice bickering with Finnley, is Oliver's. I did not expect him to be here today, though he did visit twice this week, since Finnley agreed to move in with us temporarily.
He's being driven around by a guy named Alex, who appears to be his boyfriend, who is currently nervously fiddling with the hem of his shirt, while I'm grabbing him a drink.
"We are, if you're not willing to help me, I'll find someone else."
"Go ask Alex if he's okay with going back there."
Alex' face flushes as soon as he heard his name, spat out by Oliver in anger.
"What are they discussing?" I casually ask Alex, who jumps in his seat as soon as I addressed him. "What apartment?"
Alex shrugs, biting his lips nervously. So far, I've seen him three times, am under the impression we know each other too, but he hasn't spoken a word around me so far. He's a quiet, shy guy.
"Alex?" Finnley marches into the kitchen. "Are you, or are you not willing to drive us there?"
I can't remember seeing Finnley as fierce and adamant as I do right now. And he's fuming in anger after his discussion with Oliver, while I can't remember him ever losing his cool like this before.
He also swears a lot more than I remember, but that's kind of hot, really.
Alex only shrugged, casting his eyes down, even more nervous.
"I won't be mad at you if you don't." Finnley impatiently taps his foot. "I'd get it if you don't ever want to go back there."
"I don't..." Alex whispers. "Mind..."
"What?" Oliver stares at him in shock. "Alex, you can't be serious about that!?"
"It's time for me to get over it, isn't it? You said so yourself. We all have to start moving on. And if this might help Cris, I'm willing to conquer my fears."
"Thank you, Alex." Finnley sends him a grateful look, slumping down in a chair after grabbing his box with medication.
Oliver hands him a glass of water and in silence we wait for Finnley to take his meds and be ready to leave.
I have no idea where they're taking me. All I know is that Finnley wants to take me to places where he thinks I will start remembering things again, and he planned for the first trip today.
I fought it, since I wonder if he's capable of a trip, knowing we'll be in the car for nearly an hour. He told me to shut up and just go with it.
And since Alex agreed to drive us there, we grab some drinks and food for the road, and pile into the car before my parents get to protest us leaving the house again.
I simple wrote them a note we'd be home for dinner and we'd call if anything was wrong. We left while they went out to pick up groceries, so they couldn't prevent us from going, all planned by Finnley.
Every day I spend in his company, I start noticing little things I absolutely love about him. Like how he usually is up before me, and then I find him, seated on the bed, reading a book and I like how I can see what the story does with his emotions, just by looking at his eyes.
Or how he keeps making innocent insults to me, scrounging his nose in a cute way whenever I say something dense, or act oblivious, or how he laughs whenever I make a joke.
The sound of his laughter alone is enough to send me straight to cloud nine.
I love how he cuddles up to me in bed, I love the scent of his skin, I love the feeling of his lips touching mine.
But most of all, I love how he's silent, yet tells me everything with his eyes in the same time.
The one thing that I noticed, that made me realise we have in fact grown close in the month previous to his abduction last November – or maybe a bit longer, I don't know, is how he instantly relaxes whenever I put my arms around him.
He always used to tense up whenever I touched him, in any way. He never allowed me to touch him for more than three seconds, and he still doesn't allow others to do so.
Yet, I am allowed, and that's the best feeling in the world.
I am, in fact, madly, deeply in love with Finnley and every day I get more proof that I do.
Simple gestures, simple smiles, words, the comfortable silences between us, are all proof he loves me to no end.
We indeed drive for nearly an hour, Oliver a bit grumpy, Finnley sleeping with his head on my shoulder, while I chat with Alex. It's forced, it's uncomfortable, but he talks, and it's a start.
Besides, he's obviously not happy to go wherever we're going, and he's putting his fear aside to help me. Which I appreciate a lot.
I'm a bit confused as to where we exactly are once he parked the car, I woke Finnley up, and Oliver waits for Alex and me to help him get out of the car.
"I can't wait for this damn corset to be gone," Oliver whines, leaning onto the car while waiting for his body to adjust to the new position it's in.
By now, I know his disks didn't fully break, they cracked, and he needs to wear the corset mostly because the muscles and ligaments are weak ever since the accident. Oliver was lucky too, more than I was even.
"So, where are we?" I ask Finnley while he grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine, smiling a bit as he does.
"The start." Finnley taps my head with a finger. "I think this is one of the first memories you lost."
"Well, nothing is coming back right now. Sorry." I shrug, and he chuckles while Oliver sends us an annoyed look, protectively putting an arm around a shaky Alex. If Alex bites his lips any longer, I think they'll bleed.
"Do you want to wait outside?" Oliver asks him, while Finnley leads me to a front door in an alley that leads to the outer parts of the harbour. There's a strong smell of fish, but it's not giving me back any memories.
"No, I... I think... I need to do this." Alex suddenly sounds a bit more certain, still hesitantly following us. "I haven't been back ever since they dumped me in the gutter."
"Are you sure?" Oliver asks him annoyed, following nonetheless. I like how he's worried over Alex. I think he actually really cares about the guy. Not that I remember either of them.
Alex nods, and then Finnley pushes the door open, revealing a hallway with two doors on either side, all four opened, revealing empty apartments that have seen better days. Way better days.
He leads me towards the delipidated staircase, the wood rotting away right in front of us.
"Is this even safe?" I wonder aloud as he carefully steps onto the bottom step. It creaks, but it holds his weight.
"Maybe stay on the side..." Finnley nervously chuckles, shuffling towards the wall, slowly ascending the steps, me following him with a bit of distance to prevent from putting too much pressure on one step of the stairs.
I think I'm holding my breath, not just because of the enormous stench of mould in here, but mostly because I expect the stairs to break down any moment.
But we make it onto the first floor safely, and Finnley is already in front of an apartment, of which the door is on the floor, broken in two, fallen of the hinges as the wood gave in somewhere in time.
I follow him in silence, still squeezing my nose shut, while Finnley covered his mouth and nose with his hoodie, and as I look back, I notice Oliver and Alex did the same.
"We might get ill just by breathing in the air in here." Oliver grumbles. "Finn, you're vulnerable to infections, maybe we should return later."
"Stop being a baby," The muffled voice that belongs to Finnley calls out from inside the apartment, and I quickly follow him inside. "It's less bad in here, surprisingly." He's staring into a room where an old sofa is, along with a coffee table that is flipped over.
"Wow, this looks bad." Alex eyes are wide as he looks around curiously. "And here we were, complaining about the state of this apartment. Will you look at it now?"
Finnley chuckles, turning towards me. "I wouldn't ask you to smell the air if I wouldn't think it'll help you with a memory." He grabs the hand that I'm still using to keep my nose shut. "Ready? We'll do it together."
"No, it's fine. You keep your mouth and nose covered. I don't want you to breath in anything unhealthy."
Finnley's eyes tell me he's smiling, and he nods, putting force on my hand to remove it from my nose.
Instantly, the smell of the apartment hits my nostrils, and I gag in response to the smell.
It's horrible, though not as bad as in the hallway. I stare around, trying to keep in the contents of my stomach, cautiously walking around the room, followed by three pairs of eyes. I slowly walk to the small kitchen, the bathroom, down the hall and to the only other room in the apartment. It's tiny, it's old, delipidated, the walls covered with mould caused by what looks like a leaking roof.
"What is this place anyway?" I ask aloud, surprised to find Alex answering me from close behind me.
"It was used to house fisherman years and years ago." He casually tells me. "Most apartments have been vacant for over 10 years. This, however, was used until two years ago."
"And it has something to do with me, and things I don't remember." I turn to look at him, still about to open the door to the last room, but now focused on a shaky Alex.
"And with me, and Finn, yes. And in some way with Oliver too." Alex shrugs. "Remember anything?"
"Not really." I shrug, covering my nose and mouth with my hoodie too, before I push open the door to what I assume must be the bedroom.
I'm surprised to find the floor filled with mattresses, and clothes even.
"And?" Finnley appears by my side in the bedroom, curiously looking at me.
"Nothing..." I mutter, a bit sad, defeated, because I'm not just eager to remember more, but also really curious what it is about this place that I forgot. I can't imagine ever being here before.
"Alex?" Finnley sends him a look, gets a nod in return, and then I'm pushed into the room further. Alex shuts the door, and I hear a lock turn.
"What!?" I swirl around on my feet, noticing Finnley staring at me from beside the door. He's insecure, scared even a bit. "Close your eyes."
I stare at him for a second, then do as he tells me.
"Open the damn door! Liam!?" Finnley calls out, causing me to jump a bit, and I wonder why...
..."Figured." A vaguely familiar sounding voice sounds in my head as I remember a guy nodding beside me, pushing me inside the room, pulling the door shut behind me – just like Alex did a second ago.
I can picture how I heard the key being turned, locking the door behind me in a similar way, leaving me alone –In the very room I just entered with Finnley and Alex– with a fuming in anger Finnley.
"No, Liam!" He shouted, jumped up, ran to the door and slammed his fist against it. "Open the goddamn door! Jason!"
My eyes fly open, and I stare at Finnley with wide eyes, my breathing a bit faster. All I remember is how lost I felt, how sad, how I wanted Finnley to stop being mad at me. How I wanted answers from him, not getting any. "Who're Liam and Jason?"
That simple question causes a wide smile to appear on his face. "Good." He sighs in content, leaning against the wall, suddenly seemingly a bit exhausted. "Hoe much came back?" He knocks the door, and it is opened by a hesitant Alex.
"We got locked in here before. By Liam, or Jason?"
Finnley nods. "This is where I spent four months, when I was first missing."
"This place?" I stare around in disgust.
"This is where they took you too." Finnley clears his throat. "The fight we had in your memory? It was our last night here."
"I have so many questions..." I mutter, as Finnley walks up to me, putting his arms around me, nuzzling his nose into the croak of my neck.
"We'll get you all the answers, one way or another." He whispers, while I notice he's trembling, and he seems weak.
"Are we done here?" Oliver asks impatiently, tapping his foot on the ground. Gosh, the guy really is impatient, a lot.
"Do you think I'll recover more memories?" I ask Finnley in a whisper.
"Oh, I know a scene I would love to re-enact from that same night..." Finnley drawls seductively. "But I don't think I ever want to touch those mattresses again."
I smirk and pull him closer, pecking a kiss onto his hoodie-covered mouth, while mine is covered too. It causes him to chuckle.
"I think it's best to find healthier places to regain more memories, and Liam wants to take you to the next if you're willing to go with him."
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QOTC: Which memory are you hoping for Cris to remember again? Let me know! ^^