Emma's POV
"fine i guess, why?" i ask. that was the first thing i could think of saying back.
andre: well all my comments are filled with 'ethma' shit whenever i post
emma: i haven't noticed..
andre: is it real though? he asks, smirking at me.
emma: no andre we're just friends
andre: yea sureee
emma: so the weather...how about it? i try switching conversations.
the rest of the car ride i try not to act awkward. i yelp the closest thrift stores near us on melrose. we pick a few and walk around the street. thrifting should be able to get my mind off of ethan. i go to the first area and skim through some jeans that came first to my eye. i started to daze off again.
"emma", i hear, the voice was almost as if someone had been whispering right in my ear.
i shake my head, "what".
"i've been trying to get your attention for like a minute...are you okay?" andre asks me.
"what the fuck are you talking about, i'm fine."
he gives me a strange look, he knows me too well. he knew that i was acting different.
"whatever then, can we keep looking around?"
"yea go 'head" i reply.
what was wrong with me. i didn't even know i was dazing off. i kept seeing something. i think of me and ethan dating, and the world knowing. voices in my head start to go at me. the world. this starting to give me anxiety. i start breathing heavy. i see that andre was across the store. i grab the closest pair of jeans and walk fast over to the fitting rooms. i throw the jeans and try to control my breathing. the voices in my head were eating at me, calling me every name. i sit on the little bench in the room and put my hands on my face. i just can't. i checked my phone in my back pocket. i was in the room for a good ten minutes. i haven't had an anxiety attack since high school.
i start to control myself in the room and grab the pair of jeans. i put the jeans back and find andre looking at sunglasses. he started trying a few on.
"where the hell were you?" he asks me.
"in the dressing room dumbass" i respond sarcastically. he laughs.
we ended up not buying anything at the stores because of all the high prices. as we walk out of the last store, i see someone who looked quite familiar. i look at him for 0.4 seconds and notice that it kinda looked like ethan. why the fuck would ethan be here? he's probably playing fucking fortnite or some shit. i didn't want to look again because he would notice. when we go into the car, i look in front of me. i see the guy and look at him more closely. as he got closer passing us, i realized it wasn't ethan. at all. i was hallucinating. wtf?!
"so where are we going to take pictures?" andre asks.
"um i don't think i can today, actually. i'm starting to feel sick." i lie.
"oh...ok, we can do it when you feel better i guess." he looked kind of disappointed. we had a whole fun day planned and i literally lied to his face so i couldn't hang out with him.
"yea thanks for understanding"
after i drop andre off, i exhale as loud as i could. even though we were very close, i don't want anyone to see me like this. i wasn't feeling myself today. i feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket.
grayson: hey e, can
you come over?
emma: um i guess, why?
grayson : do i need to
have a reason?
emma: just asking bitch,
didn't ask for the attitude
i told myself i would have a day to myself, and only me. but i didn't want to tell gray no. i make a iced almond milk latte and go into my car. i grab the aux and have a little jam session. after i listen to a few songs i realize, why did just grayson text me? usually ethan would text me to hang out instead. right as i start to walk near the front door, grayson started to open it. "thanks" i mumble. he hears me and nods.
"is e here?" i ask.
"no i made him go grocery shopping".
"do you want anything to drink?"
"gray i'm only 17.." i chuckle
"do you want fucking water or not?" he shakes his head and waits for me to stop laughing to answer him.
"yes, i would love something to drink" i say in a terrible british accent.
"what the hell was that?" he asks, i shrug. we both start laughing.
emma: "so why did you want me to come over?"
grayson: shit right i forgot
grayson: so um, we've been thinking about something.
emma: what?
grayson: well the videos haven't really been doing well i guess and they've been a little boring lately...i just thought maybe we could do a video together, like how it was before...
emma: so you're using me for views?
grayson: yea we've been thinking
i start to get a little irritated. "what do you mean 'we've been thinking'?"
grayson: everyone's talking about you and ethan recently...
emma: so you're exploiting our relationship for views?
grayson: relationship? he doesn't even treat you like his girlfriend, he just hangs out when he gets time for you..
emma: are you high grayson? been on some type of drug recently?
grayson: emma i shouldn't be telling you this, but it's true. why don't you put the pieces together? his voice was getting higher.
emma: have you been using me this whole time?
grayson: fuck no, why would i do that? it's not me using you.
emma:
i started to think: what if this all was an act? rumors had been speculating that the whole "sister squad" was all way to get views and good coins. was this all staged? ethan wanted to be with me for money? more popularity?
Ethan's POV
right when i walk through the door, the first person i see is emma, definitely was not expecting her to be here. i drop the grocery bags and walk over to give her a hug.
ethan: i missed you e
i look down at her and see her giving me a weird look.
"did you though?", she asks.
ethan: of course babe, obviously
after i let go of her, i kiss her on the forehead, she pushes me away from her. emma stares at me for a few seconds and looks back a gray.
emma: was that all staged too?
grayson shrugs. what were they talking about?
ethan: what the hell is going on?
grayson: i told her about the thing..
ethan: grayson! what the fuck dude. i turn to emma. e, we discussed that a long time ago..
emma: so you planned to like me to create rumors around us, gaining both of your guys's popularity, increasing views, followers and you're social blade?
ethan: it's not what it seems like babe
i could see the look in her eyes. she looked like she was about to burst into tears.
emma: d—do you know how much fucking hate i get on a daily basis for being myself? people hate my guts even more for being in the same room as you two. you're telling me this whole thing between us is fake shit?
she waited for me to respond. i didn't want to leave her questioning us. i really did love her. grayson, james and i originally planned to do this whole collab to boost each other up. i would never fake a relationship for views. i never realized how much hate she was getting and how much it affected her. i wanted to give her the biggest hug right now, but i wanted her to have her space.
ethan: emma I can explain everythin—
emma: i think I'll just go now. she heads to the door, when she approaches it, she looks back at me, like she was waiting for me to do something. i couldn't, there was no right way to explain. after the door closes, i look at grayson.
ethan: what the fuck did yo—
grayson: it all just fucking came out wrong, i guess
ethan: you fucking guess?!? you just ruined my fucking relationship with her. i know you're just jealous of me actually being happy gray, but seriously
grayson gets quiet.
grayson: i'm sorr— i cut him off short.
ethan: you're not. you wouldn't have said that in the first place. why are you so fucking dumb?
he started to walk over to his room. he really pissed me off. how was i supposed to talk to emma? she thinks i'm faking this whole relationship now.
*flashback*
grayson: what the fuck is this? he says, looking on his phone.
ethan: what is it?
grayson: people really think you and emma are dating, i kind of ship it to be honest, he starts to laugh.
ethan: who's emma?
grayson: emma chamberlain, she's a youtuber dumbass.
grayson: i watched a few of her videos, she's pretty funny e, perfect for you.
ethan: stop trying to get me a girlfriend
grayson: i'm not, just saying
ethan: whatever
grayson: i hit her up yesterday, it would be cool to meet her and do a video or something
ethan: you fucking talked to her?
grayson: yea why you so pissed?
ethan: that's awkward dude, people are shipping us and you just slid in her dm's?
grayson: it probably made her day
we both started laughing. i haven't even met her but i already feel bad for her.
grayson: but seriously that would be kind of cute if you guys dated
i think about it. i barely knew the girl and he was trying to make me love her. grayson and emma started talking about doing a collab and she obviously wanted to. after that collab, we've been best friends ever since.
*end of flashback*
i hear a knock on my door. grayson walks in.
grayson: i thought you were just doing what we originally talked about.
ethan: why the fuck would i do that? i actually started to have feelings for her gray, and not in a fake way, like we 'planned'. all natural
grayson: not my fault you don't tell me shit
ethan: i don't need to tell you anything
grayson: e i feel bad, i'm going over to her house to talk to her.
ethan: graysonnnn
i didn't want him to talk to her. if someone needed to talk to her, it should be me.
ethan: you're not going over to her house
grayson: fine, but i have to go out and buy something.
ethan: i already went out to get groceries
grayson: yea but you got some of the wrong shit
ethan: whatever
as he walks out i shut the door behind him.
Emma's POV
i couldn't believe what i had heard. i tried to keep in all my feelings and not end up crying. i decide to put some music on in the car. i see my phone light up, and it looked like a text message. i continue to keep my eyes on the road, listening to music. i kept thinking about what had happened. i felt a tear roll down my face. i quickly wipe the tear with my sleeve. i receive a reminder on my phone. "go to the grocery store". i remembered that i had to buy some more almond milk. shit i have to go in public. i look in the mirror and see if i was presentable. eh. i walk into the store and go straight to the milk isle. as i was looking for the right brand of milk, i felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see grayson. he gives me a quick glare.
"excuse me", he whispers. i move to the side and wait for him to grab what he needed.
grayson: hey e
emma: hey, i mumble.
grayson: are you mad at me?
well kind of. i don't really know how i felt. it didn't really seem real.
grayson: listen..i didn't mean anything i said earlier, i was over exaggerating because i just been pissed at ethan.
emma: so you decided to tell me that u guys are using me, make me upset, just to piss off ethan. yup pretty normal.
grayson: y—you don't understand. you see..i can't even explain it.
emma: you can tell me anything, even in the middle of a grocery store.
grayson: i ca—can't tell you. it'll ruin things.
i started to feel bad. grayson wasn't usually weird around me, and never upset around me.
emma: please tell me. it seems very important.
he looks me up and down. he started to look down at the floor.
grayson: i have to go now..
he walks passed me and i grab his hand. he looks at my hand touching his and i let go. he continued to walk away. what was that all about?