Maia's POV:
"Come in" I ordered to James before he could even greet me. I'd finally managed to text him, telling him he could come home to pick his stuff up, and here he was, standing on my doorway. It had taken me a whole fucking month, but I didn't feel like seeing or talking to anyone during it, so I'd delayed the task as much as I could. "Everything's in that box" I pointed towards the couch, where a box with James' belongings lay next to it. "Grab it and leave" Alex's words swirled in my mind: you're harsh, you're an actual mean woman.
"Mai, why are you being like this to me?" James asked, his voice low and soft, as if he was sad about this.
"What did you expect, James? Did you think I was going to receive you with hugs and kisses?"
"I'm not saying that, Maia. It's just... we've been together for three years, you look as if it would have never mattered to you. I just want us to be in good terms"
"Do you really think this never mattered to me? Excuse me, but you were the one who decided to call it quits here, James" I accused him.
"Well, you looked like you were over it pretty easily, considering how quickly you found someone else" He shot back.
"Don't even bring Alex into this, James. There's absolutely nothing going on between us" I warned. If he only knew Alex and I hadn't even talked to each other for over a month now....
"Are you going to tell me I'm wrong? Because what was he exactly doing in your flat that day I came for my stuff?"
"And why do you care?! It's my fucking flat, James! My fucking life! I can get anyone I want inside this apartment, you're not my boyfriend anymore, and even if you still were, you're not my owner, James!"
"Alright, Maia, I've got it! Fuck, it's always the same with you" He complained. "Can we just stop fighting for once? Maia, I still care about you" He muttered, stepping closer to me.
"It's too late now" I said, folding my arms on my chest, looking somewhere else to avoid his tender gaze on me.
"Mai, I just don't want anybody taking advantage of you"
"I know how to take care of myself, James, thank you" He stopped right in front of me, placing his hands on his waist as he looked up, inhaling deeply.
"You're so stubborn, Maia" I didn't answer. What was I supposed to say to that? He was right, I was the queen of stubbornness, and it had got me far in life, so I wasn't planning on changing it. "Mai" James called out when he saw he was getting no reactions from me. He took my chin with his hands and made me face him. "This is one of the toughest things I've had to face so far"
"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Breaking up with you, Mai. I didn't want to do it, I just saw things were getting ugly and I didn't want to harm you, so I ended it before it could get really bad. I didn't want that for us, not after these great years we've spent together, I just thought I had to do it" He confessed, taking a hand to the back of his neck. "I should have thought about it twice, Mai"
"Yeah... maybe you should have" I whispered. We locked eyes for a moment, and I felt my heart compressing into a knot. They had been three amazing years together, and it was so heartbreaking to see them dying down on us so fast, as if they had never actually been there, and all there ever was had been the constant fights. Then again, Alex was running around inside my mind: It gets messy and then, when you look back at it, the only things you remember are the fights. There is no love, no spending time together, no sex... it's just fights, Mai. I felt my eyes getting watery, but I refused to cry. Focus, Maia, never give a man the chance to think they can outsmart you, because they'll end up tearing you down. Yet, I didn't want my love life to be like the one Alex had described. I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want not to ever be loved, and I didn't want incessant fights.
"Mai..." James trailed off, but before I could answer, his lips were already on mine. I froze for a moment, allowing him to kiss me, feeling him again after so long, but then all the memories came flooding to my head like a movie. All the good times we'd spent together and how it had all gone downhill, fighting, and what was worse... Alex.
"Wh- what are you doing?!" I squealed, pushing him off me.
"Mai, I"-
"No" I firmly stated. "Get out, James" I demanded, not being able to look at him.
"Maia, please"
"Get out!" I yelled. James eyes were shooting daggers at me, his jaw clenched like he always used to do whenever he was raging. He turned around and picked the box with his stuff, directing himself towards the door.
"Don't come running to me once you realize he was just using you, Maia" He warned, but I couldn't have cared less. There was absolutely nothing going on between Alex and me, so I would never have to worry about running into James' arms again. As depressive as it sounded, I was completely alone now.
Once James left, I immediately called Riley and pleaded her to come home. I needed someone to talk to, and she was the only one who was going to bear with me. I didn't even cry after James disappeared behind the door, I was way beyond that already. I had wasted so many tears on Alex this month that I didn't have anything left. Instead, I remained sitting on the couch, just thinking about everything that could have been if James hadn't showed up that morning I last saw Alex. There were so many things that could or could not have been...
"Maia, open up!" My head shot up in surprise when I heard Riley kicking at my door. She had never been the subtle type, but I loved her for that. I rushed to the door and opened it, instantly breaking down in tears as soon as Riley came into view.
"Riles!" I sobbed, and she automatically hugged me.
"Oh my God, Mai, you're going to be alright"
"Riles, I'm so sad, I don't know what's going on with me" I sniffed into her clothes.
"Are you kidding me? Maia, you're the toughest bitch I know, you don't need a man at all!" She exclaimed, shaking me from my shoulders.
"I'm alone, Riley"
"Maia, you're not alone. You've got me, Georgie, your family, your pets, the horses! Mai, you're entering one of the most important equestrian competitions in the UK, and you're fit to win it! You've got everything ahead of you" I nodded, trying to calm myself down.
"Yeah, yeah, I know" I cried. "I just... James came, he came for his stuff" I was stuttering on my own words, unable to properly speak. "I freaked out, Riles"
"I don't think that's the real problem here, Mai"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean" She fixed her gaze on me, and I knew exactly what she meant: Alex. "Listen, why don't we sit down and talk over some coffee?"
"Yeah" I agreed, and headed for the kitchen. After Riley had helped me getting the coffee ready, we both sat down in the living room, surrounded by my pets.
"Why don't you call him, Mai?" Riley inquired.
"I can't call him"
"That's what you think. You're just way too proud of yourself to do it, you've got to get over it already. I've never seen you this sad over a boy, not even after your break up with James, and he was supposed to be a big deal for you. If you so badly want to talk to him, just do it"
"Riles, I can't. Trust me, we both belong to so different lives, it's better like this"
"Bullshit, I'm not going to buy any of your crap"
"Riley, he's a world known musician, why would he ever be interested in a girl like me?"
"Am I actually hearing Maia Cambiasso, the most stubborn, refined, and confident girl doubting herself?" She ironically said. "Maia, hear me out. I don't think that guy would have done half of the things he did for you if he only wanted to get into your pants. Besides, you guys technically fucked more than twice, and he still insisted on being around you. I think you have your answer there... he likes you, Mai" I thought for a moment... Riley could be right. In my wildest dreams, I wanted her to be right so bad.
"It's been way too long, Riles"
"Then why is it still affecting you so much?"
"I don't know, I guess that whatever we had going on never had an ending, it didn't even have a start. It was nothing, but... I guess it was something at some point. I've just never got to find out because we never gave it a chance. I mean, the very next day that we had both confessed that we liked each other James decided to show up at my doorstep. Then Alex and I had this fight I told you about, and then shit hit the fan. It never was something serious, but I used to have so much fun with him, Riles. I just have this empty space in me that wanted to be filled with moments with him, and now it still remains as empty as it's always been, because nothing ever got to happen between us. I just feel so bad with myself for having been so mean to him, he was trying to help me get rid of James and I said all this nasty things to him"
"Mai, you had your reasons"
"Yeah, but then we never talked to each other ever again. Riley, I don't want to live my life wondering what if... I feel like I need to see him again. I want to see him, and talk to him, and just close this chapter of my life. I can't leave it like this"
"Then do it, Mai! Call him, for fuck's sake!"
"I won't" I firmly stated.
"Maia, why won't you just do it?" At this point, Riley was kind of losing her patience, but I couldn't blame her, nothing that I was saying made any sense.
"I guess it all happened because of a reason, and I'm way too fucking coward. He could have reached out for me too, but he never did, Riles"
"That's because he must think that you're still trying to sort out your problems with James, Mai. He was just getting out of your way and letting you see things clearer. You know what you want now, and you want him, just give him a call. What's the worst that can happen? Alex rejecting you? Then what? You're a fucking sex bomb, Mai, there will be plenty of other men killing to be with you, and you'll eventually find someone that deserves your love. You've got to try, at least. What if he answers the phone and says he wants to see you too?" My eyes lit up in hope. What did I have to lose? Riley was right, I needed to try at least; I couldn't spend the rest of my life wondering what could have happened, just like I had done this past month.
"You're right, Riley"
"Does that mean you're going to call him?" Riley's eyes grew wide in excitement.
"I... I guess I will. I just need a little more time, gather up enough courage. But I'll end up doing it, I can't stand it any longer" I admitted.
"Yay!" Riley squealed, pulling me into a big embrace. We spent some more time together, laughing and catching up, until she decided to go home.
Once Riley left, I figured I should go out for a jog. I needed to clear my mind, maybe it was going to help me on thinking straightly on what to say once I called Alex. If there was one positive thing that had come out of this past depressive month, was that I had managed to relieve some tension by exercising. I would always go outside and run along with Diesel by my side, inhaling the fresh air and enjoying the day. I got myself dressed in my sportswear and motioned for Diesel to follow me, and we were at the park in less than fifteen minutes. We started jogging our way among the trees, and after a while, I decided to stop for a break.
I made sure Diesel had drunk some water, and once I felt ready to start again, I turned on my heels, feeling confident for another run along the place. Yet, as soon as I spun to keep on going, I felt a sudden heavy load jumping over me. I fell on the floor, the impact on my back being hard on me, but I stopped myself from cursing once I realized that what had been thrown over me, was a cute Rottweiler looking out for attention. I smiled at the dog, and instantly petted his head, not even caring that he had knocked me down seconds ago. Still, as I looked closer, I realized it wasn't just any Rottweiler... it was Twister. It couldn't be... it just couldn't be possible. My heart had seemed to stop, but I knew I couldn't mistake his face with the others. That cute, friendly, and slobber-covered face. Besides, Diesel had already recognized him as well, and they were both playing along happily, as if it were the reencounter of their lives. It just couldn't be happening to me...
"Twister! For fuck's sake, mate!" I heard someone call, but it was definitely not Alex's voice. Instead, it was the one of a man with short brown hair that yet carried a similar style to Alex's. Leather jacket and shit. He was running towards us, panting like a maniac, and he bent on his knees once he reached our spot, trying to catch up his breath. I had no idea who this guy was, but at least I had proved that the dog was surely Twister, unless this was one of those very weird situations of life. Still, it seemed impossible. It's not every day you get beaten down by the same silly Rottweiler. "Twister, please, just stop fucking up, mate. It's the third time this week" The man said, sounding tired. "Sorry, my friend's dog has no sense of discipline or private space" My friend's dog? Please, let it not be Alex. I wasn't ready to face him yet, least of all when I was covered in sweat in my work out clothes. "It's not like my friend cares about it either" He apologized, offering his hand to help me up. I took it and started shaking the dirt off my clothes once I was up on my feet again.
"It's ok, I don't mind. I'm a vet, I'm used to it already"
"A vet? Cool!" I smiled at him, he looked like a genuinely nice guy to be around. "Anyways, I'm sorry about that" He repeated.
"Oh, it's fine, don't worry"
"Right, thanks. Come on, Twister, let's go" But Twister sternly refused to leave my side. Somehow, he remained next to me, headbutting my leg as he asked for more pats. "Whoa, looks like he likes you"
"I'm just very fond of dogs" I laughed.
"That's cool, girls are usually terrified of him"
"Yeah, Rotties have a really bad reputation. It's not your case, right, Twister?" I cooed at him, crouching down to scratch behind his ears. Twister started shaking his hind leg rapidly in approval, letting his tongue stick out. To be honest, I had missed Twister like crazy too, he was a total sweetheart.
"I see you definitely know how to control the beast" The man chuckled. "I'm Matt, by the way"
"Maia" I introduced myself as I stood up again, smiling at him.
"Maia..." He slowly repeated, as if he was tasting the word. "Maia, the vet... it kind of rings a bell to me. Do I know you from somewhere?"
"Oh, I don't think so. You must have mistaken me for somebody else" Technically, if he actually was Alex's friend, there was a very high probability that Alex could have told him about me, but I'd never found out about that.
"Weird... I feel like I know you from somewhere"
"Matt!" I heard someone call from behind me, and all my senses froze. I would recognize his voice anywhere, and I was sure that the one who had shouted Matt's name had been Alex. I had to run, I really needed to run away, but instead I stayed put, awaiting for the tragic moment to come.
"Hey, mate! Over here!" Matt yelled as he waved.
"Matt, for fuck's sake, how many times do I need to remind you that you can't get your eyes off Twister?" Alex appeared on Matt's side, completely ignoring I was there. He was too focused on his friend to realize of my presence in front of them. "I turned around for a second and you two were already gone" Alex complained.
"Mate, I'm sorry, but your dog is a fucking mess, just like you" Alex rolled his eyes, clearly irritated. "I had to chase him all throughout the park, I still couldn't get to him before he beat poor Maia down" Matt gestured to me, and just in that moment, I felt my whole world crumbling down upon me. Alex looked at me, and his eyes grew wide in surprise. It was a mixture of shock, uncertainty, and longing, and I bet I looked just like him. My heart was pounding hard, and there was nothing that would get me to calm down right now.
"Mai?" Alex softly asked, furrowing his eyebrows. I drew in a sharp breath, feeling as if I was going to faint right there and then. The nostalgic excitement Alex used to bring me filled me once again, my body and my lips aching for him. The sound of his voice calling for me was enough to send me over the moon. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him, not until I had him right in front of me, talking to me with that deep voice of his. That voice... that sounded hurt when he called out my name.
"Hey, Al" I whispered. In that moment, I could have sworn it was only us again, as it should have always been.