"Nitzy baby, YOU ARE DOING the couple dance with Dev and thats final." Amaya orderded like a boss while twirling around in her baby pink pearl & satin lahenga. "This lahenga looks gorgeous though." She said again as she took a closer look at the pearl works on her chest region, possibly for the nth time that day.
'That I already know!' I wanted to say. And perhaps, wanted to add a mean smiley too. But then I was no vamp to ruin somebody's happiness like that, I exchanged the mean smile with a soft, goofy one and said to her-
"Glad you liked it."
"Liked?" Amaya rolled her eyes to this. "I absolutely loved it Nitara....just the way I love You!"
And there she was back to her PDA mode again!
Gross!!
"Err... I love yo.."
"Hey. Don't... I mean I know you don't love me, but trust me.. I have no hard feelings regarding it." She blabbed quickly before stretching her lips into a genuinely warm smile, something that made me feel guilty within no time.
"No. I seriously love you." I blinked my eyes so that she smiled brighter.
"Eeeee" She chuckled like a kid as she flung her arms around my neck and placed an arbitary kiss on my cheek. "You are so good Tara. But I am so sorry to not to listen to you.... your couple dance with Dev.. its still on hold. And the best part is that its not going to get cancelled anytime soon!"
Fuck.
"There is no need to cancel it. Tara WILL do the dance with Dev... Hai na Tara baby?" Raima spoke from the back.
That back stabber!
I just glared at her while she ignored all of it royally and placed a glass in my hands. "Your favourite honey and almond milkshake, made upon special orders. Have it." She said with a wink at the end.
"Get lost you two. I am neither having this milkshake, nor going to dance on that stage with Dev!" Angrily, I spat at both of them.
And in return, I got their mean chuckles.
"Getting hyper won't help Tara. So you better do what you are told to." Raima stuck out her tongue at me and left for her dance rehersals with her new made best friend.
Yes, she had changed sides to ditch me big time.
And guess what? She wasn't even guilty about it!
Ughh.. she was really the back stabber.. the female version of Brutus!!.... quite natural why I hated her so much!!
Dejected and frustrated, I placed my elbows upon the iron railings and looked at the ocean ahead. As such there was nothing particular to see. It was the water, water and only water. Yeah, sometimes we got to see the magnificient view of the sun drowning in that water or just rising up from it. But that was it. There was no horizon to witness.. for the past four days... and it still felt beautiful. Strange type of beautiful if I may add.
This cruise journey was hopelessly rubbing off its effects on me.
One day back, I was feeling exactly the same.. when my back had been reclined to Dev's chest and the clouds had just started showering upon us. A beautiful moment, a beautiful sensation it was. But then I remembered that it was all temporary. Dev was not mine. He belonged to Priyanka now. They were going to marry soon and...... I detached myself from him quietly. He remained totally unmoved though.
Not even a question broke off his mouth.
And ofcourse, no questions came during our silent live-together too!
A day of complete silence was what we faced next. None of us complained about it, none of us objected... And in this process, Amaya's sangeet ceremony day appeared in the blink of an eye.
I adjusted the hem of my off-shoulder top as I strode towards the dance rehersal room. This dancing and all, was never my cup of tea. Neither did I practise much on the previous day. I had settled the matter over a silly proposal that I would go for a couple dance with Dev, the repercussions of which, I was facing now!
Obvio! I had got such douchebag of friends after all!!
Deep inside my mind I kept praying so that Dev would reject my proposal himself. Phew, I didn't want to dance with that jerk! But then this was also true that he wasn't going to do any such thing. Maybe he wasn't talking to me or was ignoring me like plaque, but dropping the idea of dancing with me? He would just not do that..not even in his thousandth dreams!
Ask me where did I get this confidence from? Oh well, I had seriously no idea... except the fact that I knew Dev... a little too deeply maybe??
"Mommy!!!" A squealing voice from the back, stopped my feet midway and brought me out of my reverie.
Ah, there she was- my little stress buster.
"Bunny!!" I stooped to her level and picked her up in my arms. "Where were you for so long baccha?" I asked again as I placed a kiss on her tiny nose.
"Play arena." She answered... kinda disappointedly. "And I was mishing you so much!"
Did I spent some time with her today? Or yesterday? I asked myself immediately even though the answer already known to me.
A simple, straight NO.
"Mommy is soooo sorry Coco! Please forgive her!!" I shut my eyes closed and shook my head. Guilt had started dripping in my veins and and thats how my head so heavy.
"On one condition." She replied strictly.
"What?" I curled my eyebrows now looking at her with confusion.
"That you will play with me?"
Uh-oh. Babies are always this humble I guess!
"What about hide-and-seek?"
"Yeaaaay!!"
Her happy shriek told it all. But before I could make myself a valid part of that happiness, an ugly figure appeared before my eyes who made my mouth turn bitter within no time.
"Hey." She greeted in her sexiest voice as she approached nearer in her bikini top and pink flowing pallazo, her toned belly being perfectly flaunted out to the world.
I don't want to take her name but you people have already guessed it correct.... Isn't it?
"What do you want?" I cringed my brows disinteresdly.
Being the intelligent girl she was, didn't she notice it already?
"I heard you are having a couple dance with Dev?" She asked back instead.
"You seem to be unhappy?" I flashed a sugery smile with sympathy finely laced to it.
"Do I really need to?" She flashed back a smile too. But quite unlike mine, it was a very genuine, proud smile.
Proud becoz Dev was hers now and me getting a chance to dance with him, meant nothing but just stealing a beautiful moment for myself!
A damp sigh escaped my throat.
"No, you don't." I said looking elsewhere.
"Hmm" she chucked slightly and continued speaking, making my guts put on fire- "Just a humble suggestion for you. STOP DREAMING. It will hurt you much less Tara."
DAMN!
"I need to go. Rai is waiting for me over there." I mumbled in a low voice as my hovering eyes unwantingly rested upon Dev walking at a distance.
Dev, dressed in a simple rose pink bandgala which fitted him like second skin, looked like a total dapper. His tanned yet flawless skin glowed in that ethnic wear and for a brief moment I couldn't move my eyes from him at all. It was like I could go on ogling at him forever and never get tired.
"Gosh! He looks so hot!!" Priyanka's dreamy voice broke my chain of thoughts. A pang of jealousy hit me after that. But more than the jealousy itself, it was the crackling sound of my heart that made my interiors feel empty like never before.
An unwanted tear rolled down my eyes.
"He is yours now. So why don't you just go and enjoy with him?" I asked while wiping off that tear drop, trying my best to appear as calm and casual as possible.
"I will. Once you people's couple dance gets over..."
"Thats not happening Priyanka." I shot a quick reply.
"What?" She was taken aback. Maybe she had thought that I was going to fight over my rights for Dev. But nevertheless she was an really intelligent girl and framed her question in the other way round- "You won't dance?"
"I will. But not the couple dance. I'll go solo."
"Ohh." She rolled her eyes at herself. "But Nitara..."
"Coco, please go and play will daddy. Mommy needs to reherse a bit. She will come back as soon as it finishes okay?" I got her down from my arms, only to earn a veeeery disappointing look in return!
"Coco... I am sorry baccha.." helplessly, I tried to talk with her. But instead of giving me any response, she just ran away to the opposite direction, making me sigh to my own dismay.
I was seriously being a terrible mother!
Just then, Priyanka's teasing remark came again- "You wanted to avoid the talk right?"
I turned my head slightly and stared at her face. She had that angelic look treasured over there that people hardly understood what kind of devil she was in reality.
And she being her, had to take undue advantages of it like EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!
"I wanted to avoid the whole of you. But could I do that? No na!"
With this, I flashed yet another sugery smile, collected the sides of my lahenga and left the deck in search of some less-toxic air elsewhere.
•
Dance rehersals? Umm... it went good. Atleast I felt so. But then when I went to the stage... and found my steps forgotten long back.... I understood what blunder I had committed!
As such it wasn't any episode from 'India's got talent' that I needed to perform like a pro. But still.. remembering the basic steps that I learnt on the last moment- this much I could have done to save my face, isn't it?
Honestly, my face was not lost. Dev didn't let me loose it. He was there beside me all the time to help me out...just like the old days...... and that was stroke the deepest chord of my heart.
Why was he there? Why did he come to help me? Why did he lend his hands and twirled me around to his rythms? To his own beats?What was he actually thinking before doing all these? Was he aiming for some charity work? And even if it was so, then did he inform Priyanka about the same??
Perhaps not. Becoz the song that was being played at the background, was one of 'our' personal favourites. Dev's and mines. It was a bengali track, beautifully composed by none other than Rabindranath Tagore and was so close to our hearts since always that we couldn't help but get drowned in ourselves when it started abruptly after the bollywood dance number came to a pause.
'Amar bhitoro baahire, ontore ontore... acho tumi, hridoy jure!' Was what the lyrics said. Ofcourse no one from the audience understood a bit of it and neither did Priyanka. Here, I was confused regarding everything and trying to figure out mentally whether it was all pre-planned or not while on the other hand, Dev was busy in clutching my waist and twirling me around and dance as if there's no tomorrow!
Have I ever mentioned that Dev was an exceptional dancer? No I think. It was never needed to be disclosed na! But now that we were dancing out in the public and our audience had already figured out the difference between mine and his dancing capabilities, hiding this talented side of him was no more required I suppose.
Nor did I try to. I knew that he had always been the better one between the two of us and thus accepting this basic fact was no big deal for me. Infact, I was pretty proud about it and admired him boundlessly for the same. He was like that superhero of my dreams, for whom I could wait for thousand years and not even let a single sigh out.
Yet, the greatest irony of the day was that- Dev was no hero. It was totally the other way round. He was a villain... the greatest villain of my life... the only one who had been turning my existense upside down since forever and still continued to remain unabashed. Guiltless. Remorseless too.
Damn! I hated this man so much!! Like seriously!! But then it was the same me who couldn't unlove him anyway.. or remove my eyes from his beautiful orbs... or just let myself free from his arms!!
I could do NOTHING! I was way too paralysed to take any step against him, be it physically or mentally. My body had given up in his arms long ago while my mind was no longer mine. It had started dancing to 'his' tunes and saving myself from that jerk was not even a valid option anymore!
This torture went on for the next 5 minutes or so. With our eyes still glued together and breathes fanning each other's faces, seperating our bodies once the song stopped- came as another torture thereafter. Those 5 minutes... yes, they were the best we could ever get...... came as a blessing and a curse at the same time. It was becoz both us knew that we weren't supposed to stand in each other's arms like this. It was wrong. Unethical. Immoral. Yet both of us couldn't make a move to step back. It was all like a dream... like a beaitiful escape from reality.. something that this poor heart wanted to hold on hopelessly... and perhaps thats why it became so difficult to leave each other.
Getting out of the other's arms was almost like crashing down in the earth and the pain felt becoz of it, was unbearable.
No exeggerations, but it was indeed the hardest job to burst our bubble of happiness with our own hands and step out to face the realities of life.
Reality, however, was still as bitter as before...... just the way we had expected.
Gulping a bout of saliva down my choked throat, I blinked my moistened eyes and looked at Dev for one last time and stepped down from the stage.
"That was sooooo freaking amazing dude!!!!" Raima came jumping around the moment she saw me coming back to the deck floor. Her excitement had reached a different level altogether and as an outburst of it, she threw her arms around my neck and hung onto me like a clingy panda.
"Hmm." I smiled slightly as I patted the back of her head.
"Just hmm?" She detached herself and looked up at me as if I had grown a second head.
"What else? Dev is an amazing dancer and thats how the performance turned out so beautiful...nothing special is there to boast about, Rai!" I told her a bit irritatedly.
"Oh.. And what about the sizzling chemistry? Do you think Dev's skills would have worked if you people's chemistry not been there inbetween?!!" She retorted back with double the irritation.
"Yes, it would have still worked!" I spat nonchalantly, looking directly into her enlarged pupils.
"Tara!!"
"Whatever Rai!" I swear I had never been more disinterested in talking with her. But at times like this, she really didn't leave me with any other option. "Anyway.. where is Coco?"
Quite unaffected with my behaviour, she twisted her lips childishly and replied- "I don't know. She is not with me."
"What do you mean by she is not with you? Didn't Dev leave her here when he went to the stage?"
"No!" She answered with the same simplicity and added- "Maybe he had left her with Adit."
Yes. Maybe.
On an instinct, I turned my head towards the other side of the deck, precisedly at the table where I remembered Adit to be sitting with Amaya and Kshitiz, and to my dismay I found my baby nowhere near it.
My heart skipped a beat at this. Though the wiser part of my brain was still active, it instructed me to have a look at the playing arena and I ran towards that direction, quite in a jiffy.
One thing I was sure of. That we were in a cruise, just in the middle of an ocean and Coco couldn't possibly flee anywhere. With this strong belief in mind, I went to the kids zone and once again I found my found my baby missing from there.
A stronger hammer bit my heart this time. Coco wasn't at the playing arena. Then might be she had went to our suite upstairs. But this possibilty was absolutely vague since she was too small and was always so confused regarding the stairways.
Atleast I knew this better than anyone else.
"She isn't there in your room too." Raima came to me huffing. She had already taken a tour upstairs while I was busy figuring out the probabilities of Coco's presence in some distinct places of the cruise.
"That I know." I blabbed slowly. And as I did so, I realised that my voice had been choked with anxiety and fear. "Umm... I think that I should ask Dev about her."
"Yeah. That would be better." Raima nodded agreeing and together we came back to the deck.
The deck was thoroughly packed with people. Some of them, specially the girls, were fiddling with their hairs and dupattas while the others were still practising their dance steps. Some were drunk, others were drinking to get high. The older ones were mostly quiet, evidently disinterested with the loud music and the baseless dance of some big aunties on stage. The rest of them were just enjoying the show and adding their part of applause every now and then.
Dev was a part of that audience too. Yet, his actions were greately different. He was there, sitting at a corner table with Adit and Kshitiz present on both his sides and was happily munching on kabirabi cutlets. He didn't see me coming. Neither he had the idea that his daughter was techniqally missing at that moment.
"Dev...." I yelped helplessly as I rushed upto him.
But instead of him, Adit came up with his enthusiastic reply- "Hey, Nitzy! Take a bite man. Its literally the best fish item I have eaten till date!!"
"Adit its..." I spared a look at his face and couldn't say anything in return. He was happy, like really really happy and bursting the news of Coco's disappearance before him seemed to be the most pathetic job ever. Yet, helpless as I was, I let out a damp sigh, rolled my tongue over my lower lip and looked up at Dev. He had stopped munching by then and was looking back at me expectantly. The questions shining in the white of eye, made my heart skip few beats again as I opened my trembling lips to utter- "where is my baby, Dev?"
His expressions turned blank within the next minute. It seemed like I was speaking in some foreign language, of which, he understood nothing. Quite obvious why this irked me upto the core so that I pressed my lips together and blabbed his name, thereby bringing him out of his reverie.
"DEV?"
-"Huh? Yes??" He shook his head as if adjusting himself to the reality.
"Where is Coco? Where is my baby, Dev?"
He just replied- "I don't know" !!!!
This time, I took some time to absorb his answer. And once it was done, I bursted upon him furiously- "what do you mean by you don't know? Where had you left her before going to the stage??"
-"I..." he gulped nervously before holding my shoulders and looking straight into my eyes- "She was not there with me Tara.. I haven't even seen her since morning."
I looked at the reddend sky overhead. The sun had settled in the waters, leaving behind its golden hues and here Dev was saying that he hadn't seen his daughter since morning.
I just wanted to ask him whether we were seriously staying in the same cruise or not!
"How can she be not there with you? I myself had told her to go and play with you until my dance rehersals got over!!"
-"Did you see her after the rehersals?" He asked me back.
"No. Becoz after it ended, they had pushed me to the stage directly!" I complained to justify myself. Raima just dropped her eyelids in response.
-"Even I can question you about it. But thats not the point right?" He took a deep breath. "...You are saying that you asked Princess to come to me. But she didn't do so. I wander why..."
"Were you with Priyanka since morning?" I asked hurriedly to stop him in the middle.
-"Yes but..."
"That bitch!"
My body shivered up with a sudden gush of anger. Becoz deep inside my mind, I was almost sure that Priyanka had played some of her dirty games again and this time, the victim was none other than my little baby.
-"Gaaawd! Why are you linking 'her' to this? What fucking wrong she has done now?"
Well, Dev sounded equally furious.
"What has she done? She was right there at the spot, Dev when I asked Coco to go and play with you....you're saying that Coco didn't come to you at all. Now just tell me one thing, did that bitch inform you anything about Coco? Did she even enquire when she didn't find her there with you???"
-"Tara..."
And there he came to a pause. Finally. Finally he had understood that even I had a point and that point wasn't baseless at all!
"We have already searched in the playing arena and in our suite upstairs. The confectionery section and the edges of the decks have been checked too." I informed groggily as I felt tears piling up in my eyes again.
"And she is neither there with her Amy maasi or any of the band members." Raima added next.
Her part of the information made me further cold and numb.
"Umm... I think we should search for her a bit thoroughly. Afterall where else can she go from this cruise! She's ought to be here only.. don't worry.. we will find her soon." Adit said inbetween, putting up a really brave front.
"Yeah. We'll search for her together.. let me just call Addy too. The more is the people, the more easily the work is gonna be sorted na!" Kshitiz replied equally bravely before he took out his phone, made the call and set off on this new expedition of finding my daughter on the ship!
•
The ship was on fire.
What started with four people, was soon joined in fifty of the other crew members. Me, Raima and Amaya were obviously included. Together, we had literally ransacked the entire ship but not even a single trace of my daughter was found anywhere.
With every passing seconds, my body began to get numb. At one point of time, I turned out so cold and so blank that I fell upon the floor like a piece of raw meat and couldn't get up again. Thankfully, Raima's ORS treatment worked as magic for my flickering heart beats and lowered pulse rate. But about my frozen mind- nothing else could be done anymore to bring it back to action.
The situation was such, that when Priyanka came forward and said: "I think I had seen her somewhere near the ship's edge.. perhaps she had fallen into the water.... and if it is so then we must send the deep sea divers as soon as possible." - I couldn't get up and slap her left and right. That bitch.. that vixen.... she was standing right infront of me and saying such things that left no stones unturned to break me into the finest pieces.
-"DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT PRIYANKA!"
Dev's roaring voice infused a bit of life in me. That was the first time ever I looked up at him with respect and felt that I could still use his shoulders to support my broken self.
"But I was just saying about the possibilities Dev!" Priyanka retorted back with a dumbstuck face.
-"KEEP YOUR FUCKING POSSIBILITIES WITH YOURSELF." Pointing his index finger towards Priyanka, Dev roared again. The anxiety, the tension and the rising fear was properly evident in that tone, with which he continued- "....And incase your possibilities really come true, then just remember, today will be the last day that we'll be seeing each other's faces!"
"Dev! I was just trying to help you out!!" Priyanka's jaws fell open in disbelief. Clearly, she hadn't expected 'this' outcome from him.
-"Don't make me open my mouth Priyanka! I swear you won't like it at all if I..."
"But you need to know that I didn't do anything! I am seriouslt trying to help y..."
-"DON'T.... Don't try anything else.. I beg you.."
"Arey but.."
Interrupting their verbal battle came a third voice from behind, which belonged to an aged crew member and which had successfully withdrawn away the lands underneath our feet.
"Sir, your daughter has been found. She was lying unconsious near the cold storage... We have rescued her and shifted her to the medical room already."- was what he had said to us!
____________________________________
Author's note :P
Translation of the song-
In my whole being, inside & outside
deep in my heart entirely, you reside.
I'm fine, wish you to be better,
addressing the skies, do write your letter.
Do offer your garlands
with the hymns of vagabonds.
As hides the flower
in petals,its grain's stupor;
similarly you take a tender stroll
along the highway of the soul.
The way preserves the oyster
the joys of pearl in its shell cover;
similarly your deep touch sensitizes
harbors of the blues of insides
Phew. That was a long update after a long, long time. Sorry for this incovenience.
Wishing belated HAPPY DUSSHERA & SUBHO BIJOYA to all my readers.
Vote, comment and stay tuned until we meet next time again :)
P.S- this pink lahenga of Amaya was the first one I had designed in this series. I was quite an amature that time and didn't really know about the importance of measurements in designing. The outcome is not pleasing as you can already see, but hope you all like my idea. Thank you.
~