~~S H A P E O F M E~~
"The first rule to getting over a man is:" she drew in a dramatic breath. "Make him regret dumping you."
"He didn't really dump..."
"Shhh. Listen to the teaching. As I was saying, you gotta make his ass regret dumping you."
I nodded slowly as she dragged her contour brush across the bridge of my nose and my cheeks. "But how?"
"Now my dear child, that is what we'll be learning today." She tapped the brush on the tip of my nose, making me have an urge to suddenly sneeze. "Since I already did my makeup and I'm ready, all we have to do is pick out your outfit."
"What is wrong with my outfit." I glanced at my plain tee shirt and baggy jean trousers.
"Rule number two: don't dress like your grandma."
I rolled my eyes hard at this one as both my grandmas were dead and while they was alive, all they wore were wrappers. "If only you knew." I muttered. "So what will rule number three be then?" I asked loudly.
"You'll know when it's time." She really enjoyed treating me like I was a child. "Check out these ripped jeans."
"Ripped jeans?" My eyes widened in awe of the trousers in front of me. I had been dreaming about wearing one for the longest time. Now this was the time.
Sherrandah caught me staring at the jeans for a time too long and mistook my awe for skepticism. "No worries. I ain't ever worn this jean before. I have many clothes that I've never worn 'cos my mum doesn't even know the size of clothes I wear." I thought there was a sad note in her last sentence and although it didn't make much sense, I sort of felt bad for her.
It was hard to imagine my life without Mami caring. She knew everything about me–except for my romantic history obviously–and she was a source of strength and encouragement to me. I couldn't bear to think about living without her love, and something told me that there was so much more Sherrandah's mum didn't care about. Her trouser size was just one of them.
"Anyway. I think it will look good on you. It's like too short and almost two sizes too big for me, but you got large hips so I think it'll fit you."
"Thanks." I smiled a bit forcefully at her. Her calling my hips large didn't really sit right with me, but at least it was better than calling them broad or wide like other people did.
"Do a twirl for me." Sherrandah clapped her hands excitedly as I came out of the bathroom with the trousers on. "Goddamn!" She gave a wolf whistle as I did a modest twirl. "Them jeans were made for you sis." She added and I stared at myself, wondering if I really looked that good.
"Yeah..."
"You don't like it?" She was suddenly in my face, breaking the universal law of 'private space'.
"It's not that. I just think my thighs look too thick." And they actually did. At least in my eyes. Big chunks of flesh that seemed swollen pushed up from in between the rips. Now I was beginning to doubt if ripped jeans were really all people hyped them to be.
"Nah. It looks good on you. You gonna wow the world and show that Malik of a guy that you can do without him." She grinned and I thought she seemed a little too happy about the whole issue.
"Yeah I hope so." I whispered as she suddenly started painting my lips with a nude lipstick. "Are we done now?" I asked already getting tired of the whole makeup process.
"Yup. Now it's time to head out."
The ride to school was so much faster than I expected it to be. Or maybe it was only because of the fact that I was so nervous that I kept praying for time to go slower. Sherrandah had done my makeup to school before and I know I wasn't supposed to feel this way, but I felt queasy and nervous. Maybe it was because it was a little different this time.
This time I was trying to prove to Malik that I was doing just fine without him, to show him that I didn't need him to pay me any attention or care about me. I wanted him to know that I was over him.
And that ladies and gentlemen is the biggest lie of the century.
I knew it was all a lie and so I found it harder to fake it. The thought of pretending right in front of Malik was enough to make my stomach churn. What if he saw right through me?
"Are you okay?"
"Mhmm." I couldn't manage to form any words. I was having a mental breakdown inside of me and talking didn't seem to be a really good idea.
"Don't worry Tems. You look good. Like a whole snack." Amen. I thought but forced myself not to say it out loud. "Now let's go to the cafeteria so we can show him what he's missing." She concluded and I gulped, following her lead like a dog on a leash. Sometimes she treated me like I couldn't think for myself. Or maybe I acted like it most times.
"Hey boo!" Sherrandah blew a kiss the way of a tall guy who turned around and started walking towards our direction. I recognised him as one of the players on our school's Senior boys' basketball team from last year. Other than that, I knew nothing about him.
"Hey bae." He grinned at her then winked at me after letting his eyes drag slowly over my body, stopping at my hips for a moment too long. "Who's the new hottie?" He pretended to whisper knowing fully well that I could hear every single word he was saying.
"New?" Sherrandah asked like she was surprised. "She been here for long."
"How come I ain't ever seen her then?"
"I don't know. You blind maybe?" She teased with a smirk on her face.
"Don't push me Sherrandah."
"Don't call me Sherrandah."
"You started everything by calling me 'boo'"
"And you called me 'bae'. There ain't no excuse for that." Sherrandah frowned at him.
"That don't change the fact that you started it first." He stressed on his last word.
"You still called me 'bae' too, so we're equal." Sherrandah half yelled at him while I watched the both of them banter like siblings the same way I would a movie. I had to admit it was quite entertaining.
"You always wanna have the last word." He rolled his eyes at her.
"Damn right I do." She bit back snarkily.
"You so annoying." Basketball team boy replied and my eyes widened. Who knew any guy could ever see Sherrandah as annoying? Were they dating?
"Pay no attention to this dumbass Tems." Sherrandah suddenly turned her attention back to me.
"So you gonna introduce me or what?" He shot me a dashing smile and... Well he was quite handsome. His hair was cut low with waves brushed in. A nose ring looped through his left nostril and his ears had stud earrings in them too. The man really loved his piercings. An expensive looking leather jacket was draped over his broad shoulders and I wondered how he was able to keep it from falling without reaching to touch it. I needed some of that skill.
"Temi this is my cousin Zion. Zion, Temi." She moved her hand between us as she did her introduction.
"Hi Zion." I gave him my second best smile—as I was secretly still saving my best smile for the person who didn't want me—and hoped I didn't seem as awkward as I felt.
"Hey Temi. Nice to meet ya. Call me Zye by the way. No one calls me by my full name."
"Alright no problem." I fake smiled even wider. Gosh I was so damn fake. It wouldn't had surprised me if the corners of my mouth ripped because of how wide I was stretching them.
"See you around Temi." Zye said as he turned to leave. "Later bae." He smirked at Sherrandah before he finally left.
"Don't.call.me.that." I could hear Sherrandah gritting her teeth in anger.
"Why do you people call each other that? I mean bae and boo."
"Oh it's a long story." She gave a short laugh and flicked her long braids behind her. "People thought we were dating when we first attended the same high school. So we took it as a good idea to annoy each other."
"But what if they thought the both of you were actually still dating even though you were cousins?"
"I don't know and I don't care to know to be honest. But I don't think anyone thought about that." Or maybe they thought of it, but were too scared to say anything. I mused.
"He's finally here." Sherrandah growled and I lifted my head to see Malik heading into the cafeteria from the hallway that lead to the boys' locker rooms. He looked indifferent just as he always did for the past week. "He should come this way so he can see what he's missing." Lord please don't listen to Sherrandah, and please make him not to come this way. I prayed fervently with every fibre of my being.
"Do you think he's dating someone already?" I asked Sherrandah, my voice shaky and small.
Her eyes were still on Malik when she said, "Rule three, don't give a f*ck." and I let out a small sigh because I knew it was going to be extremely difficult especially as everything Malik did seemed to be my business these days.
"Yo Sherry." A deep voice hailed from behind us. I turned around but Sherrandah remained still. It was Javonte. He tugged on one of her braids as he passed by and Sherrandah winked at him making him smile. Then he did the unexpected and nodded at me. I could feel myself almost melting in my seat.
"Oh my Lord. He nodded at me!" I exclaimed too loudly as Sherrandah gave me a weird look.
"Rule number 4: Play hard to get." She said and I immediately regained my composure. I was extremely fond of embarrassing myself in front of her and I was sure any respect she might had had for me was more than eighty percent gone.
"What's Rule number five then."
"Look fabulous."
"How?" I asked just to be sure. A person could look fabulous in their own eyes but to others lack a sense of fashion.
"Lose weight."
Lose what?
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