P.O.V Megumi
I'm always moved by Hana ni nare. Yuzuru's strong emotions for his hometown fills the program and the lyrics are just right for Yuzuru's purpose. As I watch him skate through the whole ice, my heart jumps as he flys. He is so close to me when he made his steps that I can collapse at anytime if he just steps a little more forward. The Ina Bauer can't be more beautiful when his hands lay on his eyes. Oh, how can my feelings be sent to him. There are no words that contains the love and respect I have for him to express my feelings to him in the world. Maybe telling him my emotions is way too much for being a fan, but at least I have my present for him. At least I still have something else to give, instead of my feelings.
He is in front of me now, saying the words Boku tachimo Hana ni nareru. and then smiles. The thing I can only do is to hold by breath because he used to skate to another side of the rink. How lucky am I, holding Ruby's hand and nearly burst into tears.
I guess my tears are the only way that I can show my true feelings for Yuzuru. However, I don't cry. I know what I should do to be as a fan, never show your true feelings, because there are so many yuzufan in the world and it is not fair for only me to show my feelings. My heart hurts. I have no chance. Unless I am special, but I am not. I will never be.
I can never be the special one, in fact, how can I be the special one? I am a Taiwanese, four years younger than him, short, and my Japanese is still poor. Only my love for him is the strongest of all fan. But what will that make him notice me if I don't tell him? How will I tell him? There is a rock in my chest so heavy that it draws me down to my legs and makes me have to hold my heart to stop it being drawn to the floor. I let out a long sigh as Ruby looks at me.
" What's the problem with you? Aren't you happy?"
" I am, but I also feel like he is so far away from me."
" This is the reality. But cheer up, at least he is close to you now. Cherish it."
Ruby's right. I should cheer up to let Yuzuru see the happiest me after the show. I still got his present to give him.
After the show, I am able to kind of talk to Yuzuru and give him the present. He is holding so many flowers and presents in his hands. This makes me felt a little disappointed that I didn't bring him a flower. Anyways, he is so gorgeous and sweet. I handed him the present and he looks happy. I am so glad that I chose this gift. Then he comes up with some questions. I was very surprised, I should be the one asking questions but he starts.
" I saw you looking a little bit weird when I was skating, are you alright? do you feel uncomfortable?"
How did he notice me? How did he see me when he is performing?
" No, " I laughed a little. "I was just so touched by your performance. I came from Taiwan to watch your show. So it is a pretty big thing for me." I answer him.
" Oh! Thank you."
" No no no, I am the one who has to say thank you, thank you for this great experience."
" But I would wish you to be smiling instead of almost crying~"
" Haha."
" I am pretty interested that why you, a Taiwanese, will know me and would come to Japan to see my show."
" Oh, its actually because of Ruby." I look to Ruby and she gives Yuzuru a little nod.
" She introduced you to me just before you won the Olympics. Ruby is studying in Waseda and she told me that you are a very popular figure in Japan."
" Sempai, yoroshiku." Yuzuru turn to Ruby.
Ruby laughs and shakes her head and says" iya iya, kochirakoso."
" And thats how I get kind of obsessed with you."
" Haha, obsessed? how much?"
Ruby cuts in and says" Oh, you might be scared but she downloads most of the interviews, news, documentaries, shows, and performances in her computer and saves them in her phone."
"Ruby!" I says. I am so embarrassed. My cheeks are red and I can't look straight at Yuzuru. I am so afraid that he will think that I am very strange and weird.
" Really? haha! That is rare though, haha." He laughs so brightly, that I am more embarrassed than before.
" Anyways, thank you for being such a competent fan" He looks at me as he delivers a lovely smile. The perfect smile like he always do.
Thats enough, my heart thinks. Lastly, he let me take a picture. I took out my camera and shot my favorite picture, a sparkling smile with a peace sign.
I thank him again and he goes on to other fans. He is just as strong as Flower when he skates and an angel after the show. My heart is just belongs to him.
P.O.V Hana
I am receiving so many flowers and presents from the fans but I give my presents to the staff and have both free hands to reach Megumi. I am already very confused when I skated to her side at Hana ni nare, and I want to learn more about her.
So I am right in front of her right now.This is the second time I see her in the day, but closer this time. She is not that sad anymore but she is more nervous than ever. Still, she always looks so graceful with her long hair, and her red lips. I've never seen a girl without lipstick who has such beautiful and rosy lips. I carefully examine how she manage the present.
She hands me a plastic bag. There are a pooh inside and on the pooh's ear and a earphone with red and orange stripes. And there is also a flash disk on pooh's hand( also red and orange). I wonder what is in the flash disk though, maybe I should have a look later. She got everything I like!
I start with the first purpose that I came to Megumi. Then she answers me with the best reply from the fans I've ever have. I feel like what I've done has been delivered. If she feels this way, then other people must have feel the same way that I give strength to them.
I am so surprised that Megumi is a Taiwanese. Her Japanese doesn't sounds like a foreigner though, of course, her facade either. She came to Japan for a vacation I guess. That means I can't text her anymore when she returns. I am a little bit disappointed because I might lost the way to contact her. She is such a special fan, I wonder who in the world will download that many videos of mine like Megumi, and save them in her phone. She is so cute, even with her heads down. I feel thankful for her sister as well, if it wasn't her, maybe I won't met Megumi in Waseda and she won't know Me as well. Perhaps I really like Megumi, but not as a lover, as a special fan. I still have to learn more about her but I have the confidence that she will impress me and will one day, happen something special. I just hope I can have contact with her all the time.
I return to the hotel after the show and I put the pooh from Megumi next to my MacBook Air, take the flash disk from pooh's hand and open the file. It is a mp4 file.
The video starts with Megumi introducing herself. To my surprised, she then started to explain why she has to do this video.
" I felt supported and so inspired by your spirit. Every time I watch your video, I feel relieved, happy and found myself smiling at the computer."
I starts to imagine Megumi looking at me and laughing to herself. She is so adorable.
"But I am tired of going on YouTube to look at your videos, and what if I don't have internet? What should I do? You are the spirit that gives me energy and pushes me to work harder, I need to have you."
She is so sweet but I really can't imagine that she is this dedicated to me. She looks so soft and easy-going. Of course, I am very happy that I can have a fan who is supported by me and even motivated by me. Anyways, I keep watching the video.
"So I started to download the videos I like, including shows, competitions, interviews and documentaries. This is how much I like you. This is not all . I always think of your idea of doing everything at your best and what you had suffered from when I am down and stressed. You supported me and I succeeded. You let me grow. You influenced me.
"At first, it was only respect. But as time goes by, you became part of my life and a friend. You wave your hands in my phone and I have a crush on you. Yuzuru you really make my days and watching your videos is like seeing my best friend. But then, I realize this friend doesn't know me and he is far away from me."
This is probably really hard for me to imagine, so I try to imagine I am separating with Javier and he doesn't remember me anymore. That's tough though. But I guess I don't have the emotion that Megumi has, love.
"I felt so sad that you are not only mine and I am just a tiny fan among thousands of your fans in the world. I even drop my tears because I love you too much that I realize my feelings are just my own feelings and it will never be sent to you. I've dreamed about you for at least five times. I've dreamed about you coming to Taiwan and being in my class and siting next to me. Dreamed about I've saved your pooh from a tornado and able to go around with you. It is too hard for me not to tell you what I feel for you, I know I'm being very selfish. I know that maybe you wont see this video but at least I try."
She is strong. Her will to meet me pushed her to make this video and I am very glad that she made it. If it wasn't I met her in Waseda, I wouldn't even open this file and have a look. I haven't met a girl like her who has such courage to do a confess video. I know it is a very difficult thing to do, even I myself probably can't speak out loud to a girl who I like. Although she said my attitude moved her, I admire her courage and the dedication to me.
I took out my phone. It's already 11:30. I wonder if Megumi is still awake, I wonder what she is doing right now and what she is thinking. Will she be thinking about me? Probably not Hana though, is it good to text her right now? To interrupt her thoughts about me( Yuzuru)?
I suddenly feel a little embarrassed because I sound so narcissistic. But I have to say that I have to love myself to be able to show myself on the ice. That's how figure skaters really are successful, being able to express yourself.
My mind suddenly jumps in a question. What if Megumi goes back to Taiwan? How will I be able to communicate with her. So I click the message icon and asked
" Oh, btw I haven't really know you yet, maybe I should reintroduce myself again. My name is 葉凪(Hana) 勇樹(yuuki) I'm a student in Waseda. And you?"
da-dang~~ you might think that the rhythm is really going a bit fast, but there are sth more later ~~