December 15th | Sixteen Days Until NYE
I jolted awake when my phone vibrated beneath me, quickly twisting and turning off the alarm before my friends woke up. Blinking rapidly, I shook aside the dream of dark water and glowing stars, and took a moment to collect my thoughts. The cool air-conditioning gently ruffled her unruly hair and the room was covered in shadow.
Wake up at 2am. Sneak out of Benji's house. Go to Siren Bay. Don't get caught.
Sighing, I looked to my left to see Leah's thick lashes flutter in slumber, her long brows wild from a restless sleep. Benji, on my right, slept on his back with his mouth open wide. His light snoring luckily covered the sound of my vibrating phone.
I slowly removed my arms from my sleeping bag, and drew myself out in time with Benji's snores, thanking my friend for his loud nature even when unconscious to cover the sounds of escape. With an eye on Leah, the lightest sleeper I knew, I gently breathed out in relief when my feet emerged and I could stand, taking a few silent steps away from my friends.
Halting for a moment, seeing them sleeping peacefully with no idea what I was doing, guilt anchored in my belly. I'd promised myself after my eighteenth there would be no more lies, no more secrets, but the last one I kept before my vow was the biggest one of them all.
I had to go to Siren Bay, where it all began, to know whether my secret was worth it.
Walking to the bathroom to quickly throw on a light jumper over my summer PJ's, I kept reminding myself of my promise, my friends and family, and hoped they would remain oblivious - they wouldn't forgive me if I was caught.
I picked up my sandals and phone, checking one last time that my friends were asleep, before venturing to Benji's front door. They never locked it so I could sneak back in, but I still grabbed the door stopper from the corner of the hallway and held it close.
The door handle ticked in the silent night as I pushed it. I winced, moving slower, before finally opening the slick door completely. The hot summer air brushed my legs as I moved and closed it once outside, the cool air from the house following my betraying steps. I bit my lip when I shoved the door stopper underneath the hinges, leaving it just off the cusp of completely sealed.
I waited for a moment, scanning the dark home, and let out a breath of relief when no lights came on and no sound echoed in my ears besides the nocturnal life around me. The rest of the world seemed to pause and wait for my next step.
Go to Siren Bay. Don't get caught.
The night air was warm and comforting but the darkness bit at my skin as I walked down the path to the deserted bike in Benji's garden. Carefully moving it away from the fence, I set it on the road and rode down to Siren Bay. My heart was pounding in my chest as I cycled down the winding roads to the beach, my hair loose behind me. The wind tugged at my clothes, trying to push me back to my friends, but my heart was buried in the waters of Siren Bay.
The streets bathed in shadow were identical to the night of my eighteenth six months ago. I swallowed as the memory slapped me in the face. Twisting around the bends on Maureen's bike, following the same route I'd taken yesterday with Leah and Benji, but also the same as my birthday.
I'd been crying, my chest was cleaved in two. A broken-hearted girl in a glitzy party dress running barefoot through the streets to her only solace - Siren Bay.
I hadn't returned to the shores for two days.
Until today, months later. I was breaking my promise to my parents sixteen days early, lying to my friends, but I couldn't explain why. The last secret I was keeping was the most dangerous of them all.
The road levelled out to the car park of Whale Beach, the only sound was the ocean drumming against the sand in welcome at my long awaited return. I breathed the crisp, fresh air in, the salt kissing my face as I turned into the car park and approached the abandoned kids playground. The only thing playing against the metal bars and swings was the moonlight. Wind rustled the chains on the swings, my hair twisting into my vision, and I stepped off the bike and rested it against the nearest tree.
My hands shook as I let go of the handle bars, wondering if it was truly worth it to lie to my loved ones. When I stepped onto the cold sand of the beach, however, all doubt left me.
"Almost there, Syl," I muttered, as I crossed to the right side of the beach. The moon lit up the way, shining off the wet rocks. The ocean pool was glowing with lights, ready for use, but the beach was empty. No one could see me walk to the cliff's base.
With one last look around the darkened shore, the wind curling the sand beneath my feet and the moon lighting the way, I stepped onto the rocks. There was no one around but the ocean crashing against the rocks, the spray soaking into my skin. A part of me wanted to run and leap, dive into the cool water and embrace the ocean as an old friend.
Instead, smiling eat to ear, I kept one hand on the cliff as I followed the rock outcrop passed the ocean pool and to the trench. Adrenaline flooded my body as I leaped across the gap, bracing my hands on the large slabs beneath my feet. Water rushed around me but I was still only a few metres away from my Siren Bay.
Approaching the second trench, my smile softened. My hands clenched in memory as I stood on the edge and peered in - her Siren Bay - and stared at the familiar stretch of sand within, water rolling against the strip of beach, but the night bathed most of it from sight. I glimpsed the moonlight bouncing off the shining rocks.
The last time I was here, I was bawling my eyes out.
My eighteenth birthday party was meant to be the greatest night of my life. I had invited all my friends around, from all the groups and cliques, all the classes, everyone I had connected with. My parents were out for the night with Olena and Theresa and I'd decorated my house with as many balloons and lights I could find.
Everyone was looking forward to the night. Everyone called me a friend, everyone confided in me with hopes, wishes, and secrets - ever since they saw me on that first day in Year 7 - and it was her undoing.
Two people had confided their secrets to her: Carrie and Max. They both came to the party and the fight that erupted changed everything. It pushed me to hide in Siren Bay, get swept out to sea for days, and discover a secret so grace it cost my silence.
I hadn't seen Carrie and Max since. I didn't know if I even could see them, whether I would have the guts to stand and look them in the eye.
I gently sat down on the rocks, hearing some crabs scurry away as I hung my feet into the trench of Siren Bay. I could hear the ocean snap through the small alcove separating sand from sea.
I'd sat on the sand and cried my heart out that night, running away from everyone, with my bare feet submerged in the water.
I had every intention to sleep at Siren Bay and come back in the morning, hoping Carrie and Max were gone, that everyone was gone, but a hand had grasped my ankle and dragged me to the sea.
Shaking the memory aside, I gently eased myself down to the sand, the water immediately washing over my sandals. I hissed at the cold water swallowing my feet. When I was sure I wasn't about to lose my balance from the sea, I whipped out my phone and switched on the torch, scanning Siren Bay.
I slowly panned across the wet rocks, damp sand, and the seething sea, but found no traces of the hand that had grasped my ankle six months ago.
I rested the light on the alcove, the gateway into the ocean, one small enough to crawl through. All I could hear was the sea calling to me.
As I took a step, ready to dive into the dark water, I heard laughter. I slammed my phone against me, hiding the light, and stepped against the rocks to hide. Cold adrenaline laced my veins as I heard a bunch of rowdy drunks. Gently releasing a breath as the laughter moved away, north up the beach, I checked the time on my phone. 2:58am.
I had to head back.
Shoving my phone into my pockets, I sighed and looked one last time at the dark water. I would try again tomorrow, sneak out and risk breaking Benji and Leah's trust one more time.
The thought of being too late to see the creature the hand belonged to was clouding my mind as I climbed back up and made my way back to Whale Beach and towards the bike. I didn't see what retreated to the shadows, a dark shape following the tide back out to sea.
~
What did the pirate say when he turned eighty-years-old?
Aye Matey!
Hope you're holding up okay. Let me know what you think as always :)
Libby x