You'd never walked with so much adrenaline and so much force. You practically shook the pavements as you stomped down, occasionally shouting in frustration. You didn't want to cry anymore, you didn't want to be so sad and affected by a worthless boy.
A boy, which meant what?
You'd always been warned about him. You'd distracted any urge to like him with the intense completion to beat him and beat your feelings. You weren't prepared to loose, and tonight was a taste for loss. And in no way would you ever come that close to loosing again.
You flung the door open, slamming it behind you and immediately retreating to upstairs. You stripped from all worries and stress, you needed an escape and knew the perfect one.
— — —
You ran. You ran harder than you'd ever run before. Every step symbolising another emotion being released from the cage of feelings. You ran until your legs collapsed, and evening then didn't feel enough relief. You fell from fatigue, but not from sadness.
You lay, looking up at the stars. A memory replayed in your heart, projecting in your vision.
Flashback - 10 years ago
"Are you ready for bed, darling?"
Your granddad tucked you in soundly. He watched over you whilst you tried to drift into a swift slumber. But you had something on your mind that night.
"Granddad?"
"Yes dear?"
"What is love?"
"This is very unlike you darling" he chuckled a breathy laugh, your favourite kind.
"Well i think i might be in love" you giggled at your words.
"Oh really? And who is this?"
"His name is Seungchol"
"And you love Seungchol?"
"Well i don't know what love is.."
"Love is when you feel a connection with someone, which makes you feel fuzzy, your stomach flip and any problems melt away my dear. Love is the feeling of safety and comfort in someones very being. When their happiness becomes yours, and your pain becomes theirs. It is the feeling of being unable to let go or give up on someone"
"When will i find love?"
"You can never find love,
love will find you"
— — —
You arrived home home, slightly sweaty and panting hard. You opened the door and was met by a few pairs of eyes, staring at you. Despite the cooler weather, you are still in shorts and a sports-bra, covered by a thin top. You gazed around, not too bothered, until you met eyes with his.
He immediately knew.
Immediately understanding your pain, as it reflected on his slightly drunk face.
But you weren't going to give in, not yet anyway. You greeted them briefly, and made your way to the kitchen, not bothering to give another glance. After getting a bottle of water, you went upstairs to your room, showering, changing and drifting into a much needed sleep.
~Sunday 6:53am~
Yawning, you creeped down the stairs. You didn't usually get up this early, which out you in an even worse mood. Certainly not in the mood for what was coming.
As soon as you turned the corner, he stood there, guilt riddled his pitiful face.
Coups: "Y/n wait, let me-"
Y/n: "Theres nothing to say, send me your work. I'll put it together, thanks" you didn't even give him room to breathe, you weren't having any of it.
Coups: "Don't walk away from me" he went to grab you put you pulled back.
Y/n: "I don't think so" he followed you into the kitchen like an obedient dog.
Coups: "Seriously? You're that stubborn?!" he caught up to you but you just pushed past.
"At least tell me why you're mad"
Y/n: "I was right about you. I should of never gotten involved and thought things could work between us! It's pointless, You're too absorbed in your fantasy world, you can't even look up and think about someones else feelings!" fire was alight in your eyes, and he just stared in shock.
Nostrils flared and breathe audible, you made one final push and let him go, leaving him there in a state of shock.
It felt good. It felt empowering. It was an awakening.