"you're in early." elliot states as he walked into the squad room.
"yeah, something came up."
"wanna fill me in?"
"i don't know if she's going through with it. if she does, i'll let you know." i was a bit snappy, but i was also up all night configuring a plan with jamie and going through files.
"alright, no need to get snippy." he says raising his hands, like he was surrendering.
"sorry, i've been up all night."
"i understand." he says sitting in the chair, next to my desk. "so, you two finally working things out?"
i look up from the paper, confused for a minute before he pointed at the rings on my finger.
"yeah, we are." i let out a small smile.
"good, i'm glad. i want nothing but the best for you." he replies.
"thanks el." i was about to ask him if he could get me some coffee, rafael walked into the squad room, towards my desk, with two cups of coffee in his hand.
"hi," i say standing from my desk.
"hey, cragen called me in for a case so i figured i'd bring you some coffee." he hands me the cup before exchanging greetings with elliot.
"thank you," i smile.
"i'll leave you two." elliot then states, strolling away.
"how's it going?" rafael then asks.
"well, he's still the same bastard i remember even after i refreshes through his files." i sigh. "jamie's bringing her in soon."
"okay, that's good."
"can you come in about five minutes after we start talking?"
"you want me there?"
"please. you don't have to be, if you don't want to, but i figured since we've lost all the other cases against this guy,"
"i'll be there."
"is it bad that i doubt she's gonna talk though?"
"why's that?"
i sigh at his response.
"to be honest, i don't know."
as i replied, jamie walked into the squad room with eddie.
i've met her before and we get along very well, especially when it comes to telling embarrassing stories about my twin brother.
"well, well, look who's on time." i joke.
"and this is coming from the twin that's always late."
"not always." i roll my eyes. "eddie, how are you doing? jamie told me about your accident."
"i'm fine, thank you. we just came by to get some file."
"right, so why don't you come this way, and i'll get that file for you." i say as i lead them down the hallway to one of the break rooms, where i had left the file.
"please, sit down, have some coffee." i suggest to them.
she made her way over to get coffee as jamie and i sat down.
"why are you staring at me like that?" she then asks, as she turned around.
"eddie, you didn't get into a car accident, did you?"
she just stared at jamie.
"the guy you went on that date with, did he ever call you again?" jamie asks.
"that's none of your business," she replies before turning to me. "or yours."
"it may not be our business, but we're gonna make it ours." jamie then says.
she just sipped her coffee, not saying a word.
"if something happened to you eddie, you need to report it." i then say.
"if he hit you, or assaulted you in any way, you need to report it so he won't do it to someone else." jamie adds.
"you want me to walk into the precinct and announce that some guy sexually assaulted me? you don't think every guy will be thinking, 'she shouldn't be a cop. she can't even defend herself.'"
as she spoke, rafael walked into the room.
"that's not true eddie. jamie, all the guys in the squad room, no one will be thinking that." i say. "do you know how many people i've helped get justice? i knew an fbi agent who was sexually assaulted, she was ashamed at first, but then she got justice. no one in that department thought what you think now. please, let me, let us help you."
"you know, it's bad enough that i constantly have to prove myself. i know there are guys in the precinct who don't even think i should have this job."
"well, then screw them." rafael says sitting next to me. "if any cop in that precinct believes that, then they're goddamn wrong. eddie, you need to tell us what happened."
"so, you want me to admit that this guy punched me, and hit me, and that he groped me? it took every bit of me to get away from him. and do you know what i did?"
we remained silent as eddie continued.
"i ran into the bathroom, i locked the door, i hid like a little girl. i stayed in there all night."
"i'm sorry, eddie." jamie says.
"i want to forget about this. will you all just drop it?" she started to walk out of the room, when i got up to stop her.
"eddie, i'm so sorry that happened to you. but, you survived. you survived his attack. you got away from him, before he could do anything worse." i say. "the best way to help you heal now, is get justice for yourself."
"he was accused of rape in the past." jamie then says as she whipped around to face him.
"how do you know?"
he sighed.
"i got his number out of your phone, and i ran it through the system. my first call was to the detective on the case, which was kelly."
"you did what?" she asked shocked before i spoke up.
"we arrested him twice for the accusation of rape. he was guilty, there was enough evidence to prove it, but because the girl's didn't wanna go forward. the district attorney's office was forced to drop charges both times against him. nobody wanted to pursue it." i say as i opened the file to show her.
"we can put this guy away, but we can't do it without you." rafael spoke.
"i'm trying to help you, eddie. we all are." jamie spoke.
she then approached him, before saying, "i don't want your help."
she then turned to me and rafael, "i especially don't want your help either."
and then she spoke to all three of us, "i don't need any of your help, and if any of you bring this up again, i'm gonna report you, jamie, for unauthorized use of a police computer and you, kelly, to your captain for police corruption."
eddie then stormed out of the room.
"i should probably get going, can i stop by your place later?" jamie then said.
"of course you can." rafael spoke up. "you're welcome by anytime."
"thank you."
it was a bit awkward, but i knew it would fade.
my brother pressed a kiss to my forehead before running after his partner.
"you alright?" rafael asks.
"yeah, i'm just,"
"i know, we all are."
"hey, you wanna explain why jamie and his partner just stormed out of the squad room?" elliot asks as he enters in with olivia.
"remember jake singer?" i ask.
"that son of a bitch who got two rape charges dropped, yeah." olivia replies.
"my brother said that she went on a date with him. he thinks she may have been assaulted, and she did confirm that, but doesn't want to go through with it." i sigh.
"hey reagan, we gotta go," nick says now entering. "it's our victim."
by his face i knew something was up.
"what's up? is she okay?" i say standing up.
"she committed suicide, jumped off the roof of her dorm building this morning." nick replied, with a dismal look on his face.
"oh my god."
"her mother is flying in now."
"okay, let's get going amaro." i say, basically running out of the room.
"we're right behind you." liv said as the four of us jumped into two separate cars and headed to campus.
~~~~
after a long and depressing day, i finally was able to get home.
"raf?" i call upon entering as i put the keys in the bowl, purse on table, and taking my shoes off before looking up to see rafael in view.
"hey," he let out a small smile. "i'm glad to see you home."
"yeah, cragen sent me home." i say running my fingers through my hair.
"the case getting to you?" he asks as i nod.
"she was eighteen years old, her whole life was ahead of her, and she finally decided that she wasn't gonna be homeschooled, but come to college in the great city that is new york and as a result she gets raped, and then commits suicide. i just wish there was something i could've done not to see her mother in the pain, she's in right now."
"there's nothing you could've done, honey." rafael assures me. "you were with her yesterday after the lineup, right?"
"yeah, she talked about how she was happy to get him in prison where he deserved to be so he wouldn't get to anyone else, so they wouldn't face the pain she had to go though. she even said she got out of that sorority she tried to join before it happened. she seemed good, not one sign that she was going to do that." i tell him as he leads me to the couch, and pours me a glass of whiskey.
"then it's not on you. you've been doing this for so many years now, you would know if there was something."
"you think that?"
"i don't just think that, i know that. you're one hell of a detective, you get to know your victims, you get on a personal level with them, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. this isn't on you, you never saw this coming." he says as i sip my drink. "go upstairs, take a shower, and we'll watch a movie or something."
"no work today?" i ask.
"can't bring myself to do it." he admits. "it'll be tomorrow's problem."
i just nod before heading upstairs for my shower. about midway through it, rafael had knocked on the door and told me that my brother was downstairs. he didn't specify which, but i figured it was jamie.
a few minutes later, i had my pajamas on, and i headed down the stairs, into the living room.
"hey, i'm sorry about your victim." jamie says, pulling me into a hug, as soon as he saw me.
"thank you." i reply, a little confused about how he knew.
"rafael told us, i'm sorry too." i look over jamie's shoulder to see eddie getting up from the couch as i nod.
"it's good to see you, janko." i say.
"listen, i know you had a rough day and its late, but i wanted to apologize for my behavior today and what i said, i didn't mean it and,"
"it's okay. all is forgiven."
"i shouldn't have threatened to report you two, you were just trying to help."
"eddie, it's really okay."
"really?"
"victims of sexual assault tend not to want to come forward at first and lash out that way sometimes, especially if they feel their being pushed in some way or feel like others are going to question their authority." i inform her as i sat on the couch as she sat next me.
"she's not wrong, it's one of the many reasons people don't come forward most of the time." rafael then says.
"well, i wanna go forward. i want him put away." eddie then says, confidently.
~~~~
"cariño?" raf says as he climbed into bed.
"yeah?" i mumble, half asleep.
"thank you."
"for?"
"giving me another chance, for coming home." his voice got lower as he mentioned me coming home.
i turned over to face him before i sat up.
"it's gonna take time for things to be back to normal for us, but no matter what i'll always come home to you."
he smiled a bit.
"i love you mi amor."
"i love you rafa."
i presses a kiss to my husband's lips, much to his shock, before nestling into his arms for the night. and if i'm honest, being in rafael's arms is the best feeling in the world.