"What? No I'm not. I don't even know what love is" I laugh.
"It's literally what you just said. I don't even feel that way about Trey" she says and we continue the dishes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Trevor and I promised we wouldn't tell anyone. I mean it's like you said... he has a girlfriend. Then if my brother knew... that's another story"
"Well what are you going to do?"
"Nothing. I just needed to say it out loud to someone. Nia knows... but that hoe can't keep her mouth shut. But so much has been going on so just wanted to tell you"
"Well maybe you are saying it out loud to the wrong person"
"What?"
"Does Trevor know how you feel?"
"No. Of course not"
"Why not? Just tell him"
"I can't"
"Why?"
"Because another rule we made was... I'm not allowed to fall for him. He made that pretty clear"
"Okay well you did. He can shut the fuck up" Desi says and I laugh. "Camari... I think you should tell him. Before it's too late"
"Hey Trevor... I'm in-love with you" I joke and Desi laughs. "Bitch he leaves for school the day after Prom"
"Well maybe... you guys can do long distance?"
"Desi... there is no happy ending here" I said and she rolls her eyes.
"You never know until you try Camari. Besides... he could feel the same way" she says. We dropped the conversation and continue to wash the dishes. Once we were done, I drive Desi home and made my way back to the house. I get out my car and made my way inside. I sat down in the dining room and thought for a moment.
Maybe... I should tell Trevor. I feel like I need to tell Trevor so I know how he feels. So I know to try with him or to be completely focused on Ronnie. I mean... I feel bad that Ronnie and I are in a relationship but I really want to be with Trevor.
I head downstairs to Breenan's room and he was busy playing his video game. He was alone and I look around.
"Hey where's Trevor?" I ask and Breenan looks over at me.
"Why?" he ask.
"It's just a question"
"I don't know" Breenan says looking back at the T.V. I roll my eyes and turn around. "Cam" Breenan says and I look at him. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. Or what I called you. I didn't mean it" he says and I'm guessing he's referring to the whore reference.
"It's cool"
"You know I love you right?"
"Love you too Breenan" I laugh leaving his room. I decided to head over to Trevor's and I guess profound my love for him. It was pitch dark outside and I head over to the tree and start to climb it. It was getting much easier to do. Once I reach the roof, I slowly crawl over to Trevor's window. The light was off but the TV was on. That's when I saw his bedroom door open and Tori walks in with her underwear and bra on.
I watch as she walks over to the bed and goes to straddle Trevor and they laugh about something. I roll my eyes and turn around and start to head back to the tree. If this wasn't a sign, then what is? This just proved that I need to focus on Ronnie and not Trevor. I'm literally never listening to Desi every again. I climb down the tree and walk back over to my house.
I head upstairs to my room and grab my phone to see I still didn't text Ronnie back. I stare at his text and shake my head. I still didn't want to talk. I felt strange. Why do I feel like I just caught my boyfriend cheating? After my shower, I call it a night.
The following day at school, I told Desi at lunch what happened last night.
"Okay... but you still didn't tell him" Desi says and I roll my eyes.
"And I'm not. I'm over it" I said
"Hey" someone says and I look over to see Ronnie sitting down.
"Hey" I smile at him.
"You mad at me or something?"
"What? No. Of course not" I said and he smiles.
"There a reason I didn't get a text back?"
"Oh! I'm sorry. I was busy and I didn't feel good"
"How you feeling you now?" he smiles and I stare at Ronnie. His clean smile, and his long eye lashes. Damn... this is why I fell for Ronnie. He's fine as hell.
"I'm so much better now" I answer and he smiles.
"Good" he says leaning forward to kiss me.
"Whew chile...." Desi says and we laugh. When I get home from school, Trevor was getting home from work at the same time. I park my car in the drive-way of my house as Trevor parks on the street. I didn't want to talk to him to right now. Maybe if I stay in the car and wait until he goes in his house then I could avoid him.
A couple knocks came at my window and I look over to see Trevor. Damn. I unlock the door and he opens my door for me. He squats down and stares at me.
"Waiting for me?" he ask.
"No not at all" I said and he stares at me. "Could you move? I want to go inside" I said stepping out the car and he backs up.
"Sounding a little hostile" he says.
"Nope, just don't want to talk" I said closing the car door and I was just about to walk away when Trevor grabs my hand.
"You're not allowed to be jealous of my own girlfriend" he says. What the hell? I turn around and look at him confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"I saw you Camari... last night" he says and I stare at him pulling my arm back.
"Okay? So what? I came over to talk about something but saw you were busy" I answer and he stares at me. "You guys make-up fast" I said and he smirks.
"What'd you want to talk about?"
"Huh?"
"You said you came over last night to talk. About what?" he said. Oh no. I wanted to tell him I want him but I can't say that now. "Camari..."
"That I want to get this last lesson over with. Ronnie and I... can't stop touching each other and I feel like it might happen before Prom I don't know. But I need to be ready so we need to do... it. Prom is coming up really fast and I'm going to be busy..." I start to say.
"When?" Trevor interrupts me.
"What?"
"When... do you want to do this?" he ask.
"Oh... umm. Tomorrow. After I get home from school. No one will be home and that would be the perfect time"
"Okay, tomorrow then" he says turning around.
"Wait..." I said and he looks at me. "How do I prepare for it?" I ask and he laughs.
"I like lingerie" he winks then turns around and heads to his house. Lingerie? I don't have any of that. I watch Trevor go in the house and I went to get back in my car and decided to drive to the mall.
I decided to head into Victoria Secrets obviously and I start to look around. I would have asked Desi to come but I didn't want her to know I didn't tell Trevor again but I'm going to sleep with him tomorrow. Ugh! My stomach is starting to turn.
"Can I help you?" someone says and I look to see a Victoria Secrets worker.
"Yea... actually. Please help me" I said and she laughs. "I'm looking for lingerie"
"Okay! Special night?"
"Two sets actually for two different nights" I said.
"Oh wow" she smiles.
"No, they are for two different guys" I said and she looks at me confused. Oh shit. "NO! Not like that..."
"You know, it's none of my business. Let's find you some sets" she says walking away and I roll my eyes and follow her. We were looking through racks and the lady was pulling me out a few sets. I went to the dressing room to try them on and I felt like every time I came out to show the lady my outfit, another girl was waiting to hype me up about the way I look.
"I love the pink one so much" one girl said.
"But that blue one is so like fantasy, you know?" another girl said.
"Go with black, it's sexy" the worker said.
"And basic. Go with the red one... it's dirty" another girl said and I laugh.
"What looks like... you're about to lose your virginity?" I said and the girls got quiet.
"Oh my goodness, this is so cute! Okay... she obviously needs a bow" the worker said and the girls disperse and one at a time brings me a new set to go try on. I settle on a blue two piece and a red dress that was pretty sheer. The worker threw in some flurry slides for me and I thank her.
"Have fun!" one of the girls say winking at me as I leave the store.
"Camari?" someone said and I look over to see Ronnie in his work uniform. He looks down at my Victoria Secrets bag then up at me.
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