Secretly Secret (A RivaMika Fanfic)

Chapter 25: You're Only 15

The next few days have been pretty terrible for Mikasa. She basically only has yes, no, okay, Levi, hi, and bye in her vocabulary. It's hard to make any small talk with her and she never raises her hand in class from what Armin has told me. Sometimes she will stay silent for a few hours then randomly start to cry and it's all my fault.
Whenever it's time for bed, I'll get ready, take my shirt off, brush my teeth, read a little bit, and maybe watch a show. That's how it's been until the whole Eren fiasco. I'll still do all that stuff but Mikasa is always by my side.
I feel like she has gained separation anxiety. I keep asking her if she wants to see a consoler but she always just says "no".
Of course I don't blame myself for everything. It was ultimately Eren's fault. It's just that if we didn't tell him in general than Mikasa would still be happy and healthy.
"Levi?" Mikasa says.
"Yes?"
"How long has it been since we kissed?"
"Ever since the situation."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I'm trying to talk more and be more open. I still don't want to do counseling but I do want you to know that I still love you."
"Trust me Mikasa. I know what it's like to feel alone up to the point where talking makes you sick. I will always know how you feel. I love you."
"I love you too."
Mikasa and I start kissing. It's been a while since I felt her lips touch mine. She starts to slowly push me. I run into the couch and stumble back. Mikasa still holds on.
She was sitting on top of me digging her fingers in my back so hard I was worried that she was going to rip my shirt. She was furiously undoing my shirts buttons on by one then tearing it off my back like an animal.
She pushes me down and makes me lye down. She moves her hands onto my shoulders. I find myself deep in our kiss that I forget she is only 15. I grab her wrists and immediately sit up. She falls back on the couch. She quickly sits back up and stares at me like she didn't know what she did wrong.
"What are you thinking?" I ask her while quickly getting my shirt back together. "You are to young for that! What if I wasn't paying attention and let you do it?"
"I would feel guilty. But then it would mean that we would be together forever. Till death do us part. I just don't want you to leave me."
"I already told you I won't. Just don't do that kind of stuff. I don't care if other people do it, we are not other people."
"Okay...I'm sorry...Levi..."
Mikasa starts to cry. I lift her up and set her in my lap and cuddle her again. Her tears make the sleeve of my white shirt transparent. I take off the ascot around my neck and let her use it to wipe her tears. We sat on the couch for what felt like hours, Mikasa crying, me holding Mikasa. Kinda like a movie or very detailed book.
Sure I was pretty upset with her for trying to have sex with me, but it was so nice to feel her lips on mine and let alone finally hear her voice again after so long. I am just not ready to make her feel the need to do that sort of thing.