Imagine going into Kai's head and seeing his past and feeling his pain.
“I’m doing what?”
“Just take a teeny tiny peek. A glimpse.” Damon persisted.
“I don’t wanna feel whatever’s going on up there.” You shook your head. “Klaus was bad enough.”
“We’ve done this a hundred times, why are you pussing out?”
“We’ve done this twice, Damon. Twice.”
“Twice, Damon.” He mocked. “He’s all tied up and ready for you. It’s a piece of pie.”
“Well, now I’m hungry, so first of all- you’re buying me pie after this.”
“So you’ll do it?” He interrupted.
“Second of all,” You continued. “I need you to stay outside. And third of all… I hate you.”
“Yeah, what else is new.” He grumbled before leaning against the railing.
You took a deep breath and faced the door.
You were an empath, an untrained, naive little empath that was often called upon to feel the emotions of others. It started out with Bonnie wondering how Jeremy felt about his dead girlfriend, which you readily agreed to help her with, but it evolved into Damon or Stefan asking you to feel the emotions of people they were up against. You had looked into the minds of Katherine and Klaus, in that order. Katherine was a fireball of self adoration and conniving ideas. Klaus was the messier of the two. He was so full of confusion and guilt, thirsty for power but also craving affection. You had found a small sliver of light in him, and clung to it, trying to pull it to the surface and see what it was made of. You passed out before you made it that far, and hadn’t used your abilities since. Now, Kai was your task.
You pushed the door open and entered the house. Now that you think about it, you had no idea whose house this was, but before you could ponder the charges of breaking and entering you would face if caught, you spotted Kai. He was roped to a chair in the middle of the room, a smile playing on his lips.
“You must be the doctor.” He said perkily. “I have a little surprise for you below the belt, but be careful, I think it’s infected.”
You ignored his chatter as you slowly approached him.
“Then again I did come here for a medical opinion, so if you’d like to see it-”
Your hands were at either side of his face now, and Kai felt an uneasy sense of invasion. You hadn’t actually read him yet, but he felt fire where your fingers dragged across his stubble.You were looking for the best point of entry; a malleable spot for you to press into his mind.
“I didn’t clock you as the forward type. You could’ve bought me dinner first.” His cockiness was unbearable but the waver in his voice wasn’t missed. He was nervous, and it didn’t take an empath to know that.
“Be quiet.” You growled, eyes shut.
“Very forward. You know I’ve never met an empath. You ever try seeing what a worm is feeling? They always look so sad to me.”
You groaned, knowing that he was only rambling to keep you distracted. Tuning him out, you moved your hands back to his jaw and slowly worked towards his temple, letting his mind ripple beneath your fingertips. It was incredibly rigid. Most people had a soft wavelength that was easily penetrated. Katherine and Klaus were more tense, but even they had a soft spot. It had taken you seconds to find Katherine’s, which was in the top of her forehead. Just above the cheekbones had worked for Klaus after nearly three minutes.
Kai had a wall.
You pulled away from him, huffing in annoyance.
“No dice?” He smirked. You grabbed a second chair from the dining room table and dragged it in front of him. You knelt on it, although it wasn’t very comfortable, to have be slightly taller than the brunet. You stared at him, hoping the structure of his face would give you a clue.
“You look like you’re solving a puzzle.” He said without his usual sarcastic tone.
“I am.” Your eyes were drawn to the scar between his eyes, and your hand felt a magnetic pull towards it.
“Do your eyes always do that?” Kai asked. They were glowing, a baby blue shade that still held some vibrancy. With your left hand bracing the back of his neck, your fingers made contact with the scar. You felt the wall again, and then you felt it give.
“Gotcha.” You whispered. You breathed steadily for a moment, and just as your were about to enter, Kai spoke.
“Is this gonna hurt?” He asked.
“I have a feeling it will.”
You applied the slightest bit more pressure to the scar and your fingers gripped his hair tightly. It’s usually a slow process; the feelings would come one by one. The mind is elastic. You would push as far as it would stretch before relieving the tension and let it fall back into place. But Kai didn’t stretch. He crumbled. His mind was cracked at the scar, and you had just broken the floodgates. It was like a blow to the gut, and every one of Kai’s emotions were now your own.
You first felt wonder. Like looking at a clear night sky, everything was bright and fascinating.
You felt special. It felt like you knew who you were supposed to be. The joy was quickly stamped out and replaced with rejection. You weren’t special, you were wrong. A freak. You heard horrified gasps of parents and felt disgust radiate off your siblings. This feeling was the side-eye of disgust. It was you don’t belong.
And then it hurt.
It hurt so fucking bad.
Your veins were bubbling and you were starving. You were craving something so strongly you knew you would die without it. Your hands shook with the need to quell the rumbling, every fiber of your being was twitching with addiction. And you were alone.
The loneliness hit you like a freight train. You were surrounded by people but none of them cared. They wouldn’t so much as look at you. They wouldn’t help get rid of the pain. Your heart shriveled and darkened. Resentment followed, a quiet, calculating emotion that stemmed from the loneliness.
Hatred took resentment and swallowed her whole, using her as fuel while he took the wheel. It was such a blinding hatred that all you could see was red. They all deserved to see red, too. You felt the adrenaline and malevolence swell in your belly as screams filled your ears. The shrill pitch was gratifying and sickening all at once.
Then it was as if a snake was constricting you. You felt the sheer power of multiple witches surround and entrap you before forcing you into a prison.
It felt like nothing at first, but isolation crept up on you and squeezed around your throat. It came with self hatred. Breaking every mirror and lips sealed shut from not uttering a single word for fear that if you do you might vomit at the very sound of your own voice. You were completely and utterly alone.
Then came an oppressive mass, feeling like a black blanket smothering you into the ground. You heard whispers in your ear telling you to end it; they told you death was the only escape. A scream tore through your throat as a bullet shattered your skull. Your lungs filled with water and you felt your brain sear from the lack of oxygen. You wrists stung as they were sliced open, blood flowing until there was nothing left. The sound of your own neck snapping filled your ears. You felt every bone break as you threw yourself from heights. Muscles were tearing, skin was burning, arteries drying-
Damon had yanked you away. Yours and Kai’s screams were too agonizing to ignore. Tears streamed your face as sobs racked your body. You had lived through every struggle, every murder, every suicide. You swore you could still feel the noose around your neck.
“What did he do?” Damon asked, cradling your face in his hands. He turned to face Kai. “What the hell did you do?!”
Kai was quiet.
“Damon.”
He looked at you, ready to wipe some tears or sever some heads.
“Get out.” You said.
“What? Y/N, you did more than enough.” He protested. You grabbed his arm, your eyes staring into his.
“Go wait outside for me.” You commanded. His eyes glazed, Damon moved like a zombie, stumbling over the door he had kicked in. Once he was out of sight, you wiped your tears on your sleeve, sniffling.
“Y/N.” You forced yourself to look at Kai, and found that he was more or less in the same state as you. Eyes red and teary. The way he said your name was jarring. He almost sounded-
“I’m sorry.”
“I should be apologizing to you.” You sighed, rubbing your eyes.
“None of that was your fault.” He said.
“But I made you relive all of it.” You sat in front of him, eyes watering. “Kai, I don’t even know where to begin, I-”
“I’m a lot more fucked up than you expected, huh?” He joked. You chuckled only slightly before remembering how it felt when he shot himself in the head. The pain was so quick but it was compact, all of the agony contained to less than a second. The lump in your throat threatened to make you cry, so you let your hair cover your face as you stared at your lap
“Look at me.” Kai said softly. You met his gaze and nearly cried just from looking at him. He had suffered so much.
“You’re not gonna tell anyone about this.” He said. “They don’t need to know, they don’t need to understand me. They want something to hate- they can hate me. Because I deserve it.”
“No!” You yelled. “No, you don’t deserve it! That’s bullshit.”
“You saw what I did to my family! I deserve every second of pain I get!”
The chair scraped the floor as you stood up, grabbing his face again. Now that the wall was down, Kai was vulnerable enough for you to enter from any point. Your hands held his jaw in an intimate way as you stepped in. This time you were focused on finding the brightest thing you could. It was early, and a little foggy from attempts at repressing it, but you found it.
The feeling was young and full of color. You felt loved, and you loved others. You didn’t know what was happening in this memory, but you brought it out of the depths and to the front of his mind anyways. His face moved as he laughed, and a wide smile spread on your face at the sound. You opened your eyes, pulling from his mind but keeping your hands in place. The adoration he felt reflected in his eyes, eyes that were tracing every detail of your face. You didn’t even stop to think before pressing your lips against his, and he kissed back as well as he could with his hands still tied behind his back. It was a simple and tender kiss, but when you tugged his hair as he nibbled your lip he suddenly pulled away.
“I need to touch you.” He breathed, arms yanking at the ropes. You fumbled with the giant knot before grabbing your jack knife and cutting him loose. His hands gripped your waist as he pulled you down to straddle him on the chair. You moved your hips slightly and he moaned into your mouth.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” You gasped as he kissed down your neck. He moved his head to look at your face, and you felt veneration roll off him in waves.
“Do you do this with all your patients?” He wriggled his brows.
“Only the especially troubled ones.” You giggled before hopping off him and grabbing his hands. You led him to the back door and he walked down the porch while you stood in the doorway. When he realized you weren’t following, he spun to face you.
“Second thoughts?” He laughed, but there was a look of concern on his face.
“Damon is gonna be so disappointed.”
“He can go to hell. They can all go to hell!” He shouted enthusiastically. You gave him a pointed look.
“Except you, my dear.” He said, grabbing your hand and pulling you down the steps. “You’ve already seen it, inside and out.”
“If you’re hell then I guess I’m okay with my eternal damnation.”
“That’s the spirit!” He kissed you quickly and then his face became serious.
“Are you sure you want this?” He asked.
“Yes.” You smiled.
He gave you a toothy grin before pulling you off to the quiet back streets of Mystic Falls, your kisses concealed by darkness.