I was waiting for him for an hour now. He was supposed to be here by now but unfortunately he was not here nor has he called to inform me, "what the hell was he up to ?"
I uttered under my breath.
I called him for a few times, letting go of my anger, but he was not receiving. Perhaps he was very busy of his own.
I was left with no other option than just to call M. M was supposedly in the venue but he assured me last night that he'd be here if I give him a call.
Accordingly, I called him;
"I'm on my way, just wait a moment."
He hung up.
"A friend in need is a friend in deed!"
I told myself with a suppressed feelingof anger beneath my cheerful mood. I wasn't sure of what P'Arthit was up to, but it was insanely frustrating to me.
*****
He was not even in the venue when I arrived. It was equally disappointing. I took turn in asking P'Bright, P'Prem & P'Knock about where P'Arthit was, but they were clueless. None of them answered my question clearly, instead they were all teasing me with their not so funny jokes. Jokes can be irritating at times & I realised it that time for the very first time in my entire life.
*****
The jokes were no longer jokes when it was more than just a usual late. Everyone arrived, even the priest, but he didn't. I could see my dad staring at me from a distant. His eyes were blank and firm, not painful as mine but we both were trying our best to hide our inner feelings. I couldn't stare right into his eyes for really long, as it was hard to confront my dad now, when I was so confident while getting out of the closet.
All the jokes, laughter, chitchat faded after a few long hours. Guests started to leave one by one. M squeezed my hand against him while Oak folded me into a side hug for quite a long time.
I couldn't stay silent for a really long time , I held my emotions so tight that it were forming stronger over time. I never knew when will be the right time to explode but I didn't choose it to be the right time.
"I want to go home, thank you all for coming."
I forced a smile on my face as I greeted them.
"Kongpob—-"
M uttered. But he left the sentence incomplete.
******
With a everlasting pain killing me inside I stepped forward to leave before anyone else dared. Each steps felt so heavy for me to continue, still I kept on walking.
But then I saw him entering, he was in that fine blue suit that I bought him few days ago for our wedding.
His eyes beaming in the softest of colors, his fringes scattered messily on his forehead.
He brushed back his messy fringes with the palm of his hand and vocalised with ease,
"I'm sorry but..."
"I know what you're about to say."
I told him before he could end. He always had his reasons, & I allowed him to have one, but this time it was not forgivable.
"Why are you here?"
M interrupted. I could feel the fire in his vein expressed through his tongue in all these harsh words hurled at P'Arthit. I wanted to defend him, but for that I had to join all these broken pieces of my heart which were scattered in disperse.
P'Prem yelled out loud, "What's wrong with you?"
It was loud enough for him to hear and answer. But he remained mute for a few seconds.
"I'm in a hurry & I need to.... leave."
He made it clear. His expression was hardly controlled. I wasn't sure what was wrong with him but he wasn't the usual P'Arthit who can easily speak out his heart.
I slowly reached out for him but he looked away. When I came back to senses I already knew what was it. Droplets of tear rolled down like crystals. I wanted to rub the tears away but only if he let me touch him. He jerked away shoving me in the ugliest of manner.
I followed him to the pavement when he was finally leaving. I stared down at the dark pavement, as he left. There was nothing left to be done. Nothing.
*****
I woke up at his touch. His hands interlaced in between mine and tears rolling down his cheeks. He was crying so badly that his white face turned pink.
"What happened?"
I panicked. I was afraid that my nightmare might come true. He might've realised that we don't belong together. Perhaps, it was a hard decision for him to walk on the terrible road ahead.
I couldn't think any longer, with fear cramming inside I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him towards me, enfolding him into a tight hug and asking him loud,
"What happened? Just tell me?"
"Kong..."
He cried before repeating my name again.
"Kong."
I wanted to ask him again and again, "what happened?" But I couldn't muster the courage. I was afraid of him turning me down. I was afraid of losing him. I was afraid that my worst dream might come true.