Thank you so much for your patience, and I've got some big news coming next chapter!
Happy reading, and don't forget to comment and read the ends notes :D
---
Previously on chapter 30:
"I heard you agreed to go on a date with Zayn." He tells me and it takes me by surprise.
"Uh, yeah. I mean...I don't know. I heard what you told Zoe that night when you got really drunk and she told you she loved you."
His eyes widen. "Where did you hear that."
"Lilly told me."
"Fucking hell...and...what do you think about it?"
"I think it was a really bad idea and that you shouldn't have said that."
His face falls. So he doesn't like to hear other people telling him off huh?
"Why shouldn't I have said that?"
"Because you're a liar, obviously."
"No I'm not. I didn't lie when I said that." He says, crossing his arms.
It hurts. "Yeah, I know."
"So what's the problem then?"
"Nevermind, forget I said anything." I say and light up my cigarette at the same time he puts his out.
He goes towards the door. "Look, I was honest and I meant what I said. But apparently I shouldn't have. Thanks for letting me know how you feel about the situation. I'll never say anything to you ever again. Have fun with Zayn."
I watch the door close behind him and dryly swallow. And to think I had some hope for the two of us after tonight.
-----
Rey's POV
I finish my cigarette five minutes later and dread going back inside, so I stay outside for a little longer. Just as I'm about to go in, Louis comes outside, followed by Luke, so I decide to wait outside with them as they finish their cigarettes.
"So what did Niall do?" Louis asks, lighting up his cigarette.
"What? When? Just now?"
"No, when the two of you stayed at Disneyland and we left."
"Oh. Yeah, he did a whole Notebook thing, with references and everything."
Louis' eyes widen. "Oh really? Wow, I didn't think he'd actually go through with it."
"So it was all his idea?" I ask him.
Louis nods. "Yeah. Did you like it?"
I nod. "Yeah..."
Of course I fucking liked it. I absolutely loved it. But the past fifteen minutes broke my fucking heart.
"What's wrong?" Luke speaks out this time.
"We...kind of had a fight."
Louis lets out an exasperated sigh. "What the actual fuck Renee. How come that things can never run smoothly with you two?"
I shrug. "I just...you both know we were like, doing stuff when he was with Zoe, and I felt guilty, but he always reassured me that there was nothing there. Like, he didn't feel anything for her."
The two of them nod, so I continue.
"And then I hear that he got drunk and told Zoe he loves her at the springtime ball. Which means he's been lying. And he always says that he's this big, tough guy who doesn't feel and stuff, and yet he felt something for her and just used me for sex when it was convenient."
Louis tugs at his hair, screaming and Luke rolls his eyes.
"Rey. I don't think you got all the information." Luke tells me.
"You need to go find Niall and bring him here right now." Louis says and points towards the door. "Right now, or else I'll start screaming and throwing punches."
"Alright, alright. It's starting to rain anyway." I say and cover my hair as I walk towards the door.
A wave of warmth and loud music hits me as soon as I enter the club and go to find Niall. I don't want to talk to him and he sure doesn't want to talk to me.
"Rey, you need to let me finish what I started telling you." Lilly says, but I pull my arm out of her grasp.
"I need to find Niall. I'll be back." I tell her and she nods, watching me look for him through the mass of people.
I find his mop of dyed blonde hair in the mass of people, and my heart sinks when I see him whispering something into a girls' ear. Of course. That didn't take long.
When I get on the dancefloor, he's dancing with her, holding her close, so I push my way through the mass of people until I find Sophia and Perrie.
The Disneyland themed cake comes way past midnight, and after we cut it and give everyone in the club a little, it's already 3am and I'm not in the mood of staying here anymore.
Everyone agrees that we should head home if we want to wake up in six hours for the second day at Disneyland, so we go outside to find taxis.
I try to ignore the fact that the girl Niall was dancing with is also coming to the hotel with us. She's short, brown hair and big boobs. Just Niall's type I guess. Does he even have a type? He'll sleep with anyone.
I don't even bother giving Zayn attention as we wait for the taxis, and by the time we get to the hotel I feel like crying. I end up in the same elevator as Niall and that girl, so I try to make conversation with Jake.
"You have one hour." Bryan tells Niall. "Then I'm coming back to the room to sleep."
I look in the mirror of the elevator, just to see Niall already looking at me. Fuck him, honestly.
When I get into my room, I break down crying on the bed. I'm not sure if it's because of the exhaustion, the anger, or my broken heart. It's probably a combination of the three.
"Are you okay?" Perrie asks when she comes in a few minutes later.
I wipe my eyes and take the makeup removing tissues she hands me.
"Yeah, thanks."
My eyeliner ran down my cheeks so I wipe that off first as Perrie tells me about a new crush she has. I don't even listen to her, just nod my head periodically. I know that Niall is in the room next to us; currently having sex in the same spot we had sex just a few hours ago.
Prick.
Perrie goes to sleep half an hour later, but I can't. I'm on Tumblr, reblogging pictures and trying to ignore all the quotes about love that come onto my dashboard. Love sucks ass to be honest.
Around four in the morning I grab my cigarette pack because I feel like I need to chain smoke until I can finally fall asleep.
It's cold outside so I take the first jacket I find in my suitcase, which is coincidentally Niall's. I hate that it smells of him but put it on anyway.
I'm on my third cigarette when I hear a balcony door slide open and I see Niall stepping out on his balcony. He lights his cigarette and only then does he notice me a few meters away from him.
"That's my jacket." He observes and my nostrils flare. There's anger building up in my stomach so I take it off and throw it at him.
He watches it land at his feet before he looks back up at me.
"What's your problem?" he asks.
"What's my problem? Ha!" I say, getting worked up. "My problem is that you take me out on a 'date' on my birthday and you're really nice for once and then you end up fucking someone in the same bed we had sex in."
"Are you serious?"
I cross my arms over my chest. "Yeah I fucking am." My teeth are chattering. Who cares.
"Take the jacket, you're cold."
"Give it to your hookup." I tell him.
"She just left." He says and throws the jacket back at me.
I catch it. "I don't need it. I don't want anything to do with you, thanks."
I throw it back at him, and this time he catches it with one hand.
"Don't make me angry." He says.
"I don't give a fuck what I make you." I tell him.
"Why are you like this right now?" he asks and I stare at him.
"Nevermind, just leave me alone."
"No, I'm coming over to talk."
Then he disappears back inside his room so I drop my cigarette and walk through the darkness out of mine and Perrie's room, but not without hitting my pinky toe on the corner of the bed.
I curse as I limp over to the door of the suite and make sure it's locked as Niall knocks against it.
"I'm not letting you in." I tell him and he bangs against the door.
"Fine."
I press my ear against the door to hear what he's doing, but I hear his own hotel room slamming shut. Fuck. I get back on my balcony just in time to see him coming outside as well, before he throws a leg over the railing.
My heart falls.
"Niall, what the fuck?" I yell when he grips into the railing and swings his other leg over it. "You're going to fall!"
He mumbles something before he grips into the ledge of the building and places his feet on the part where the wall sticks out just a little.
"You're like a hundred meters off the ground!" I yell and bite my lip when he finally grips into the railing of my balcony and jumps over it so he's standing right in front of me.
"You're an idiot." I tell him and push at his chest.
"Why are you crying now?" he asks and tries to grab my arm, but I pull away from him, wiping my tears.
"Because you do shit like this!"
"Stop." He says, softer this time, and pulls me by my wrist against his chest.
I close my eyes and let him hug me. He smells like cigarettes and cologne and I love him.
"Stop crying."
"Don't pretend like you care." I mumble against his chest and he lets go of me, taking a step back.
"Why are you being like this? Why do you think I don't care?"
"I told you why."
"Because of what I said that night at the springtime ball?" he asks, voice getting louder.
I nod.
"Are you fucking serious Renee?! What part of what I said was any indication that I don't care?"
"Uh???" I yell back at him. "Maybe the part where you told Zoe you love her? After telling me you didn't feel anything for her?"
"Rey-"
"So you just used me for sex, good to know!" I say and turn around to go back inside.
He stops me by grabbing my arm and turning me around.
"When did I tell her that I love her? What the fuck?"
"When you got drunk. At the springtime ball."
He shakes his head and lets out a frustrated groan.
"I didn't say that."
I groan and roll my eyes. "You're an idiot, you're literally lying to my face. Please leave me alone." I say and wave my hand at him, but he catches my wrists and forcing me to look into his eyes.
"I didn't say that." Niall repeats, and okay, he looks honest.
"So, what did you say then?" I push, pulling my hands out of his grip.
"I..." he stutters and I press my lips together, disappointed.
"Yeah, that's what I thought." I say and open the balcony door. "Please leave. And never talk to me again."
Niall looks into my eyes for a moment, shakes his head, and then goes inside my room. I wait a few moments until he's gone before I go to bed, and if I cry myself to sleep, no one has to know.
***
I'm not even excited for Disneyland. Which is rare and makes me really angry. I shouldn't let an asshole like Niall make me feel things and have the ability to ruin my day just by...doing stuff.
"Are you okay?" Perrie asks me after we've had lunch in a restaurant in the Disney Studios part of the park. She looks over to the girl Niall is talking to at the table across from us, making her laugh and all that. It's the same girl he fucked like ten hours ago and he had the fucking guts to invite her along.
Getting over someone is never easy, so fuck.
"No." I tell her, because I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I'm absolutely done with everything.
"I heard you and Niall arguing on the balcony early this morning."
I sigh. "Sorry for waking you up."
"Yeah, it's fine. If you want to talk about it, we can, but I'm not going to go on about how you two-"
"Okay." I interrupt her. "I'm just tired. I want to go back home. To England."
Our jet leaves today at 8pm, so we have four more hours of Disneyland. Which is also four more hours of Niall with that girl.
I decide to wait for them on the terrace of the restaurant because I am in no mood to fucking go anywhere where I'll see them together, and Eddie is really heartbroken about it. I am heartbroken too.
***
I don't talk to Niall for the rest of the day, not even after we get off the plane and they say goodbye to me. Getting over someone is much easier when you don't have to see them or talk to them.
***
Almost a two weeks pass in which I do not talk to Niall or interact with him in any way. It's kind of hard, because he sits at the same table nowadays, but I talk to Perrie who understands me even though we don't talk about it.
Zayn asks me out that Friday during lunch, where everyone can hear. I do not want to go out with him. I am done with relationships and love in general. Because you always end up getting hurt.
And now, thinking about it, Niall's fear of it kind of makes sense. Because I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything for the first two days because he was such a dick.
"Tonight?" I ask him, throwing a look in Perrie's direction, hoping she'll find me a way out of it. I hate saying no to people; I hate hurting people's feelings. Mainly because I know how it feels to be hurt.
"Um, actually." Jake jumps in. "Not to ruin the mood or anything, but these guys have their first gig at the pub today, and we're all going to see them."
Of course Jake is informed about their band and everything, because he's dating Luke now. And they're disgusting.
"Yeah, and we're meeting for pre-drinks at my place." Sophia says. "The pub is around the corner from my house."
I look at Zayn. "You're in the band and you didn't know this?" I ask.
He smiles and shakes his head. "No, I knew. I meant, you should come to our show and then we could do something after that? We play at 10."
I don't give him an answer though. I try to swerve around the question by saying I can't wait to see all of them play. It's sort of a lie, because seeing Niall playing the guitar and singing is not a good thing for my whole 'getting over Niall' plan 2.0.
"Are you selling tickets?" I ask.
"No, but I made a Facebook event and a hundred people are going." Harry proudly says. "We've got a setlist of six songs, and if people like it, we'll add more."
"I've never heard these songs before." Louis says, frowning at him.
"I have, and they're great." Jake tells him. "They rehearse in our garage."
"What's their vibe like?" I ask, wondering how in the world he failed to mention anything about that to me. I scroll through my Facebook to find the event and share it on my profile.
One Direction's first gig at Hemmings PUB!!!! February 28, 10pm! FREE ENTRY!
"One Direction?" I ask as I share the event. "Cute name."
"It's not supposed to be cute." Harry says. "But it's like...I don't know."
Niall joins us at the table, which is enough to get me into a bad mood, and I hate him for that. A person shouldn't have these types of effects on another person.
Luckily for me though, the bell rings, signaling that it's time to finish lunch and head back to class.
***
It's a bit past 6:30pm when Jason finally calls an Uber to take us to Sophia's house, and I am absolutely dreading it. I dress up in a black crop top and some graphic pants, and get into my black Zanotti sneakers before I'm out the door.
When we get there, everyone is already in the kitchen pouring themselves drinks.
"Should you be drinking before the show?" I ask Zayn when I see him knocking his glass against Niall's cup.
"Yeah, we're not going to get drunk or anything." He tells me but I don't even pay attention because I'm staring at Niall. It's so weird, being this close to him after two weeks of not speaking. It just hits me how used to our interactions I've gotten.
"Zayn?" Jake calls from the other room. "What's taking so long?"
Zayn rolls his eyes and excuses himself before he leaves us alone.
And it's awkward as fuck, because no one is saying anything and we're just staring at our drinks.
"Cheers." I eventually say and raise my cup.
He looks at me and knocks our cups together before I completely down it all and pour myself another. I hear him scoff behind me but before I can turn around and ask him what the problem is, he's gone.
Harry eventually finds his way into my kitchen and we take a shot, then Louis joins us and we take another one, and before I know it it's 8:30pm and we have to leave.
The pub is pretty crowded when we get there and it turns out that a lot of people from our school actually came to support them, which is nice.
They start setting up their things and I go over to the bar right away because I'm thirsty.
"One shot of Tequila please." I say and the bartender doesn't even bother to ID me.
"Two." Niall adds and I turn around to see him placing his hand on the bar while keeping his distance.
I pay for mine and he pays for his.
"Cheers." He says this time and I nod, downing the shot. My eyes catch onto something by the door and my heart falls. It's Zoe, laughing at something her brunette friend just told her.
"Rey-" Niall starts and I nod over in Zoe's direction.
"Your guests have arrived." I tell him and then turn around, leaving him behind.
I spend the rest of the time with Jake and Sophia at our table until it gets pulled towards the back of the pub so people have more room by the stage. At 10pm sharp the lights go out and everyone starts cheering and screaming. I'm over by the bar so I might as well just sit on one of the stools and watch from here.
Luke starts playing the drums, building up suspense, and then the lights come back on and they're there. Niall has his electric guitar around his neck and he's smirking into the microphone.
Oh, Zayn and Harry as well. And Luke plays the drums. Nice. I'm drunk.
"Hi, thank you for coming." Harry smiles into the microphone and I can see his dimples from here.
"We're One Direction, and we've been writing songs and decided to sing them to you." Zayn adds and everyone claps and cheers.
"I hope everyone of you will come to our next gigs as well, because we'd really like to live one of those moments where everyone sings along." Harry smiles.
"Let the record show that the first song we've ever written together is called Girl Almighty."
The song starts and the beat is really fun, so I try my hardest not to get out of my seat and join the rest of the people already busting out moves on the dancefloor right by the stage.
"Her laugh is as loud as as many ambulances, as it takes to save a savior, whoa." Harry starts and shit, his voice is amazing.
Niall takes the chorus, saying 'let's have another toast to the girl almighty' and he sounds nothing like I expected. His voice is rough and it's such a turn on I cross my legs.
"Am I the only? Only believer?" Zayn sings and okay, now I know they're gonna go places. Or maybe I'm drunk. It's both, actually.
They sing two more songs, one called Safety Pin and the other Jet Black Heart.
"This one was written two weeks ago, hence the title." Zayn breathes and I order another cocktail. I'm not paying attention to the beginning of the song because I watch the bartender mix my drink. Niall's voice grabs my attention though.
"I can take you out, oh-oh, we can kill some time, stay home." Niall starts and I stare.
"Got nothing but love for you, fall more in love every day." We make eye contact and I feel a rollercoaster in my stomach. "Valentine, valentine." he sings and licks his lips, before he looks somewhere else.
Written two weeks ago? Does this mean it was written that time we were in Paris? Valentine? I try to listen closer to the lyrics but there's nothing referring to anything we did.
Jesus Christ, I'm so drunk that I actually think Niall would write a song about me.
"This one was written by our very own Niall, and it's called On My Own." Harry says and starts clapping while looking at Niall, who smiles and nods.
"Everybody's got somebody, I just wanna be alone. Well I don't need no one, have too much fun, out here on my own."
I frown because I swear I've heard this before. Or read it before.
It's only when the rest of the guys join him during the chorus that I realize that it's one of the songs Lilly gave me that day.
The next song is written by all of them and it's called something with love. I'm too invested in why my drink is taking so long that I don't really pay attention.
"Don't worry, you won't be lonely...Whhhyyy won't you love me? Whhhhhhyyyy won't you love me?" I hear so I turn around to look at what's going on. They're loving every minute of it, especially during the second verse when people are singing 'Whyyyy won't you love me?' along with them.
It ends and then Zayn announces that they have two songs left before they have to finish at 11. The crowd cheers and Niall proceeds to explain that he wrote the song 'Slow Hands' together with Luke.
"We should this take this back to my place..." Niall signs and closes his eyes for a few seconds. "That's what she said right to my face...'cause I want you bad, yeah I want to baby." he laughs and points at someone. Ugh, that someone being Zoe.
I order another drink when the song is over and the bartender can hear me.
"This is the last one, and it's a bit slow." Niall says.
"And you also wrote it." Harry adds, making everyone laugh. I straighten up into my chair.
"Yeah." Niall snorts. "And I'd like to dedicate it to someone who came to see me tonight, who kind of inspired the song, and who I haven't really...I haven't really been in contact with."
I look over at Zoe and shake my head. Okay, so he's written songs for her. Nice. And he dares to lie to my face about not loving her.
"I've got a young heart and it's wild and free. I don't know where it starts but it ends with you and me. It's a hard road, as far as I can see...I don't know where I'm going, but I'll get back to you and me. 'Cause we're two kids, trying to start a fight, no matter where we go, yeah, we'll be alright. All I'm asking for a bit of patience, please, 'cause I know what's to come...and it's coming for you and me..." Niall sings and I feel like I already know the lyrics, because I've read them a thousand times trying to decipher what they meant.
I feel like an idiot now, because reading them and with everything Lilly told me, I thought they might've been written about me. I mean, imagine having someone write you a song and singing it in front of people. That's beautiful.
The song finishes a few minutes later and I focus on my drink so I can ignore the way the four of them take a bow and then put their instruments in the back.
There's a lot going on when they come off the stage, because everyone tries to get in and congratulate them for the amazing job they've done, so I stay glued to the bar.
Fifteen minutes later, music is blasting through the speakers and I ask for a bottle of water.
"Did you enjoy it?" Zayn asks, coming up behind me.
I nod. "You guys were...wow. I really liked it. You should do it for a living."
"Which song did you like most?"
I turn around to see Niall looking at me. Okay, so we're talking now. Good. I want to say something snappy, for example that I didn't think my opinion mattered, but I don't, because I know this was important to them and I'm so proud.
"I liked the 'Why Won't You Love Me' one. And the dirty laundry one."
"Slow Hands." Niall says and I nod.
"Also, the song about Zoe was...nice."
He frowns. "What song about Zoe?"
"The last one?"
Niall's face falls and he rolls his eyes.
"So, yeah." I slur when he opens his mouth. "You guys were great. I can't wait for the next show."
I look at him as I sip on my water and somehow Zayn disappeared while we were talking. Oh well.
"I'm gonna go out for a smoke." I tell him and check my pockets for my cigarette pack before I look towards the exit of the pub.
It's cold as fuck outside but I'm way too drunk to care. It takes me two minutes to light my cigarette and when I do, it's on backwards so I let it fall to the ground and groan.
Someone holds a new one in front of my face and I stare at it. It's Niall's hand.
"Thank you." I say and take it.
"The song wasn't about Zoe, you know." he says and I blink up at him.
"What?"
"It wasn't about her."
"But she's here now. I thought you guys broke up."
He shakes his head. "We did, but that doesn't mean she can't come out and support me."
"Oh...okay." I say, not able to fight the smile that creeps onto my face.
"Why are you smiling now?" he asks, but he's smiling too.
"I'm not."
"Your eye twitched, you're lying."
I roll my eyes and blow out the smoke in his face. He opens his mouth but I stop him.
"Yeah, yeah, I know what that means."
Niall licks his lips. "Well then, right back at you."
I shake my head.
"What?" he laughs.
"I just don't get this." I say and motion between the two of us. "Why are we talking when we went two weeks without even acknowledging each other?"
"Because I'm way too buzzed to care that you don't listen to me."
I raise my eyebrows. "I don't listen to you?"
So we're fighting again.
"Yeah."
"And what exactly don't I listen to?"
"Well, for one, if you'd listened to the last song closely, you wouldn't have thought it was about Zoe."
"Oh please." I huff. "You told her you love her."
"I fucking didn't, for fuck's sake Renee."
"You know what? Whatever." I say, waving my hands.
"You're always trying to start a fight." He tells me.
"Me? Just me then? You always do."
"Yeah..." he says. "Two kids just trying to start a fight."
Déjà vu.
"What did you say?" I ask. "Are you quoting yourself?"
He nods.
I shake my head, blinking. "I don't...get it."
"Because you're an idiot!" he exclaims, frustrated.
"Wow, thanks."
"Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
I nod. "Please do."
"The song is about you Renee."
"Don't call me Renee." I pout, crossing my arms and taking a drag. I'm trying to process his words but I'm drunk and it's all too much. "You wrote a song about me?" he nods. "Like... you and me." I mumble, eyes widening.
Okay, so it kind of makes sense. And at the same time, it doesn't. It's terrifying.
"Niall?"
He turns around to look at Zoe, who just exited the pub with her friend. She smiles at me and I wave.
"We're going home, are you coming?" she asks, not coming closer.
"No." Niall tells her and walks over to kiss both of them on the cheek. "Have a safe trip home."
I drop my cigarette into the trash because I'm finished, but I don't move from where I was standing. Niall comes back and stares at me expectantly. I don't even know where to start, because there are way too many questions floating through my head.
"What I don't understand about the whole situation, is why you're telling me that the song is about me when you told Zoe you love her just a two months ago."
Niall huffs and shakes his head. "Forget it, you're not getting any of this."
"Because there's nothing to get." I tell him and he just continues shaking his head in disbelief.
"Whatever." He mumbles and I watch him walk away, just like that.
I stand there, dumbfounded for a few seconds, before I scream in anger and go back inside.
I find Jake and Luke by the bar.
"You look like shit." Jake says when I sit down on the stool next to him. Luke laughs from where he's standing with an arm around his shoulders.
"Thanks. I got into a fight with Niall." I say and order a Gin and Tonic, but Jake shakes his head at the bartender and tells him to get me some water instead. I don't fight it.
"Why did you get into a fight with him?" Luke asks as I take the bottle and hand over some money.
"Because he lied to me and told me that the last song was about me."
Luke and Jake stare at each other annoyed as I drink.
"What?" I ask.
"It is about you, you're aware of that, right?" Luke says with raised eyebrows.
"What? How can it be about me?"
"Renee you have such a high level of stupidity and obliviousness that I can't even!" Jake yells.
"WHY?" I yell back.
"The song is about you, you fucking-UGGGH!" he continues and Luke just stands there, agreeing with everything he says in a lower volume.
"Two kids trying to start a fight? He leads a selfish life? The man he wants to be?" Luke quotes and I shake my head.
How can you process the fact that someone you love but never really returned your feelings wrote a song about you? You cannot. Because that doesn't happen in real life.
"It's literally right there." Jake tells me after he's calmed down.
Someone grabs my arm and I turn my head to see Louis standing there.
"Wanna go out for a smoke?" he asks and I nod, even though I was literally out there ten minutes ago.
I follow him outside because he leads me by holding my hand, and as soon as my eyes fall on Niall and Harry by the brick wall, I shake my head.
"What's this about?" I ask.
"Here's the thing, since I'm getting too fed up with your bullshit." Louis starts and places his hand on Niall's shoulder. "He wrote a song about you and she thinks you say you love Zoe that night at the ball. That's basically it."
"What he said." Harry says and steps back.
"If you can't figure it out yourselves, then someone's gotta do it." Louis adds and points at me. "You, stop being oblivious and stupid."
I watch them walk off, and once again, we're left alone.
There's tension in the air. I decide to break it.
"The song's about me." I state, unsure.
Niall licks his lips and slightly nods. "What do I have to do to make you believe it's all for you and me?"
I take a deep breath. My stomach is going crazy and I just can't.
"It's just...I don't think so. I mean, you're-Niall. You don't do shit like that. You fuck around, it's what you do. How can you expect me to believe that you wrote a fucking song about me when you literally fucked another girl on my birthday, right after you said I'm your valentine? It's not fair. And don't try to pull that shit on me where you say that you thought about me when you had sex with her, because it's a load of crap."
"I think about you so often, you have no fucking idea." He tells me and I shake my head.
"Yeah, well you weren't 'thinking about me' when you brought that girl back, did you now?" I say, making quotation marks with my fingers.
"I didn't fuck her." He tells me and grabs my hands with his to stop me from waving them all over the place.
"You're lying right to my face again!" I exclaim and he lets out a frustrated groan. "Good argument Niall."
"I never lied to you about anything. Ever." Niall says, looking into my eyes. "I've told you."
"Told me what? You don't tell me shit."
My eyes are watering up now and I hate him. I hate him because he makes me feel shit I don't want to feel, I hate him because he can get me to cry with just a few words, I hate him because I love him.
"I try to, but you don't listen!"
"What did you try to tell me and I didn't listen?" I ask, wriggling my hands out of his.
"Everything!" he says.
"WHEN?" I exclaim.
"ALL THE TIME!" he yells back.
I close my eyes and shake my head as a tear slips down on my cheek. His expression softens and he bites his bottom lip as his hand comes up to my face to wipe my tear away with his thumb.
"Stop crying."
"Then stop making me cry." I say and move my face so he'll stop touching it. My cheek burns where he touched it.
"I never want to make you cry."
"And yet you keep lying to me and saying one thing then doing another. Actions speak louder than words, you know."
He huffs and I've had enough.
"You know what? I've been saying this a lot, but this time I mean it. I'm done Niall, I don't get you. It's too much for me. I can't do this anymore. You either...you either tell me what you-what you feel or don't. That's it. Simple as that."
His Adam's Apple moves. "Tell you what."
"Why would you write a song about me and tell me that you didn't actually say I love you to Zoe? Why bring a girl back to your room on my birthday and then not have sex with her? One explanation, that's all I need."
"I don't know how to..." he says. And it hurts.
"See? You can't. Because you're lying."
"I'm not lying!" he yells and my jaw clenches.
"Yeah you are!" I yell back. "And I'm getting tired of this 'yes and no' game! I'm tired of everything!"
Niall runs his hand over his face. "You're so frustrating, I swear to God!"
"I am frustrating? That's big coming from you!"
"I never LIED! I'd never lie to you because...fuck, Renee!"
I watch him yell as he runs a hand through his head.
"Why? Because you love me?" I ask, and there. It's out there. It's make it or break it.
My heart is beating out of my chest and I feel like I can't breathe.
"I don't love you." He tells me.
My heart falls on the ground, shatters into a million pieces.
"Well then, glad we've cleared things up." I say, voice breaking. "Have a nice life."
I turn around to walk away, tears streaming down my face and head foggy. I want to...I don't even know what I want.
He grabs my hand and turns me around so I fall into him, and I weakly try to get away. His hands come up to my face so he can tilt it up and make me look into his eyes.
They're almost black, pupils dilated and a bit glassy.
"You don't love me." I tell him, and it's barely audible.
"No."
"Fuck you then." I say and try to push him away, but he doesn't budge.
"I fucking love you." He says and my hands fall down to my sides.
I stare.
And then I kiss him.
----
Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat: ronniebennett94
Follow me on Tumblr: http://ronniebennett.tumblr.com/
Follow Rey on Instagram: http://instagram.com/rey_parker
Follow Rey on Tumblr: http://www.rey-parker.tumblr.com
Follow Rey on Twitter: https://twitter.com/rey_parker
Follow Niall on Instagram: http://instagram.com/nialltdb
Follow Niall on Tumblr: http://niall-tdb.tumblr.com
Follow Niall on Twitter: http://twitter.com/niall_tdb
Follow Jake on Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr: jakemalikbitch
----
Hope you liked it; let me know what your favorite/least favorite part was :D
Let me know on Twitter by mentioning me @ronniebennett94 or by using the hashtag #coldwaterff what you thought about the chapter/story/everything ! I always like and retweet :)
Now, here are some questions I'd like you to answer, because I always look at them and get ideas for the story:
1. which was your favorite part of the chapter and why??
2. what should happen in the next chapter?
3. Please give me ideas about scenes and stuff you'd like to see because I always try and put them in the story! (I already have a few ideas written down because of your ideas guys! <3 )
You guys are amazing!
p.s. Follow them on Instagram, Twitter and Wattpad if you want previews of the upcoming chapters !
xoxo,
Ronnie