| Kristie |
It's been a while since I've heard from Cody. I miss her, even if it's just her asking how I am. I know she's not talking to me because I hurt her. Nobody lets me forget it, I understand that because of Cody's past that everyone is over-protective of her, I am too. But I just wish people would understand why I had to do what I did, it wasn't because I didn't care about her, because I do.
I end up on Instagram, scrolling through my teammates pages when, at some point down the wormhole, I end up on Ellie's page.
I close my phone, throwing it on the floor in frustration, simultaneously waking Rachel who was sleeping peacefully next to me. I look at her, wishing she was Cody instead.
| Cody |
Once Jack, Hope, Ali and I get back to Idaho, I slump in my bed, exhausted from the drive back from Arizona. The joys of not having a passport, I'm still waiting to change my last name.
I don't want to sleep though, the truth is I'm terrified that my nightmares will come back. I didn't have one whilst I was in Arizona, but I'm guessing that's because I ended up in my mom's room because I missed her so much.
I wait until I don't hear any noise coming from the rest of the house, before I slip my Nike's back on, grabbing my jacket before I sneak out, heading to the convenience store for another bottle. It's the good thing about living in a small town, everyone knows everyone, which means that if you go to the right places, you'll find the people who just don't care who you are or how old you are.
"Hey Cody, the usual?"
"Yeah, thanks Jim." I greet the owner of the shady convenience store, one of those people who don't give a fuck about your age, anything for the few bucks you throw his way. I take the two bottles of vodka he slides across the counter, one into my bag the other in my jacket pocket, zipping my bag closed. I pull my jacket and bag closer to my body as I make my way back home, occasionally taking a few sips on my short walk home.
Quiet as possible, I slide my keys into the lock, opening the door and stepping into the dark hallway. I lock the door behind me, heading towards the stairs when the light flicks on and I freeze, for a second I expect to see my 'dad' when I turn around, but I sigh in relief when I see Ali standing by the door, arms crossed over her chest, a look of anger on her face.
"What the hell are you doing out at this time?"
"I needed some fresh air."
"Then open a window. What were you really doing?" She shuts me down, forcing me to think of another lie and fast, knowing I don't want to tell her the truth because she'll tell my mom in a heartbeat.
"I was...I was thirsty, so I went out to get a soda, and I was drinking it on my way home which is why I don't have the can anymore." I internally facepalm, knowing how fucking pathetic that was, but the alcohol in my system makes me seem to not care right now.
"You're slurring your words. You've been drinking."
"I'm drunk on soda bubbles?"
"Give me the bottle."
"What bottle?"
"Cody! I'm not playing this game with you. Stop treating me like an idiot, give me the bottle in your bag and go to bed!" A wave of guilt washes over me when I hear Ali raise her voice, and I decide it's better not to argue with her about it, before she wakes Hope up and she gets involved. Pick your battles, and all, so I reluctantly hand the bottle over, before walking up the stairs to my bedroom, turning the light off and locking my door. I take the bottle I had in my pocket, silently cheering that Ali hadn't thought to check if I had another bottle, and I start to chug it down, not giving a shit that I have school in the morning. Before I know it, the bottle is almost completely empty and I'm beginning to fall asleep.
I'm back in my old house. The one place I can't seem to escape. I'm picking up where I left off in my last dream. I'm still banging on the bedroom door, wanting someone to answer it, when the door finally unlocks, and I wait, watching with caution as the door slowly creaks open.
"The hell?"
"Is that any way to speak to your mother?"
I feel sick, even in my dream, when I see Alex is the one that opened the door, as she watches me with a blank face. I hear more screaming from my younger self - Alex doesn't flinch.
"Hello."
Is all she says, opening the door more, but not for me. I see Ali, Ellie and Jack walk by me, into the room, they all turn to me as Alex finishes talking.
"You're a disgrace. Who would want a slut with an alcohol problem as a daughter. I know I don't. I bet Ellie doesn't want you either" I watch as my mother looks to Ellie, who shakes her head 'no'.
"See, Cody." Ali pick up on the sentence, "Nobody wants you. Why are you still here?"
I wake up, slightly sweaty but not as sweaty as before. I'm getting used to all these nightmares, my body slowly learning to function on less and less sleep the more time goes on. I pick up the vodka bottle, replaying what Alex just said in my dream, about an alcohol problem, and I ignore it as I finish off the bottle. I gotta get more later.
I look at the clock to see it's a little after six, and I decide to start getting ready for school.
| Jack |
We're at training, and it's...it's different. Something is different with Cody. Something is wrong.
Her play is sloppy, she's making bad passes, taking bad touches. She's more aggressive but not in a good way, and her body language sucks. It's not long before Coach calls her over as the rest of us continue with the game we're playing. Since I'm on the left side I'm within earshot when I hear the Coach telling my best friend to get her act together or she'll be pulled from the team for the State Championship game in a few days.
The session is eventually called, and we all change back into our clothes before we head home. Cody is acting like she doesn't care if she gets pulled from the team and made to sit on the bleachers, and that's definitely not the Cody I know, so I decide to talk to her when I get home.
I offer her a ride in my car but she only shook her head 'no', before going off on her board that she got when we were with Tobin and the team. Since I had to get books from my locker and talk to Coach about Cody's behavior, I made it home just in time to see Cody walking through the front door.
I follow behind her, only too see she's walked straight up to her bedroom, Hope and Ali looking confused, shocked and concerned.
"What's wrong with Cody?"
"I don't know, but I'm sure as hell going to find out." I answer Hope honestly, and she nods slowly as I take the stairs two at a time, heading straight for my best friends room.
| Ali |
"Should I call her? This is getting out of hand." I ask Hope, praying that she'll have any kind of idea as to what's going on.
"Maybe. Honestly, I don't know."
As we're discussing the possibility of informing Alex on her daughters mood swings, who should call me? Alex.
"Hey Baby Horse." I laugh as I hear her groan on the other end.
"Wishing I didn't call you."
"Then why did you?"
"Cody isn't answering her phone, is she home?"
I look to Hope, pleading with her for any kind of answer but she just shrugs.
"I think she might be in the shower, they had soccer and she only got home ten minutes ago." I rush out, hoping it works.
"Okay, as long as she's doing fine. Anyway, I want to talk to you about her State game."
"What about it?"
"I'm coming to Idaho to see it, and I want to surprise her, I'm also bring Ash. Not because I want to but because she invited herself." I hear Alex chuckle as I smile at my girlfriends antics.
"That's okay, let me know when your flight arrives and I'll pick you both up from the airport."
"Thanks Kriegs, We'll see you in a few days. Love you!"
"Bye Alex."
| Jack |
I power my way up the stairs to my best friend's room, and I don't knock on her door, I just barge right in, thankful that she's not naked because I didn't really think this through. But I'm beyond shocked, and pissed off when I see her drinking straight from a vodka bottle. I storm up to her, and grab the bottle from her hand, holding it out of her reach as she tries to grab it back.
"What the fuck, Maxi?! We have a game coming up and you're fucking drunk?!"
"I'm not drunk, and I can handle my alcohol."
"You're fucking slurring!" I yell, and I walk to her bathroom to pour the remaining vodka down the sinkhole.
"Stop, Jack dont!"
"Is everything okay?" I hear Hope ask just after I've thrown the empty glass bottle in the trash can in my friends bathroom.
"Yeah mom, we're good." I answer her, not noticing I called her mom until I see the look on Cody's face but I can't think about that now. My best friend seriously need me, she needs help.
"You better get this shit sorted, Cody or I swear, I'll tell Alex."
Helped.
| Cody |
It's been a few days since the incident with Jack, and how she threw away my vodka, she kept her word though, she didn't tell Hope, she didn't tell Ali and as long as I don't drink, she won't tell Alex.
Speaking of Alex, she finished the season, unfortunately Orlando didn't make it to the playoffs this season but there's always next season, if they learn from their mistakes.
I haven't spoken to my mom for a while, not since my nightmare. I know it wasn't really her, but it really messed with my head, so whenever she calls me, or Facetime's me, I do everything I can to avoid her, but I know it's becoming noticible because I'm doing everything I can to avoid Ali, Hope and Ellie too. I'd try and avoid Jack but it'd be easier to avoid my own shadow.
Ali offered to drive me to the field for the State game, but I politely declined and I rode my longboard here.
| Ali |
Something is seriously wrong with Cody. I was hoping whatever it was would blow over, hoping it was just some kind of teenage drama that everyone goes through. However, her mood is deteriorating, she's eating less, obviously sleeping less because she looks like death, walking. I've decided I'll talk to Alex about it after Cody and Jack's State game.
I'm on the way to the field with Alex and Ash, having picked them up an hour ago before we went to lunch. When we get there, we see Hope almost immediately, she's sitting next to the team bench, presumably to be kept away from the crowds that are building in the bleachers, so we join her, chatting amongst the four of us as we watch the teens warm up. I watch as Cody notices her mom, sending her a tight-lipped smile. Something's definitely wrong. I remember when Cody would sprint over to her mother just for a hug. Alex, Hope and Ash see it too, but Alex makes us promise that we won't talk about it until we get home. We watch as the starters take to the field, Cody playing as the lone striker, a lot like her mother, and Jack takes up on left midfield, flashing a grin towards Hope, and playfully saluting us when she sees that Alex and Ashlyn are here too.
Hopefully it's a clean game.
My thoughts are interrupted by the referee blowing the whistle, and the game begins...