Tuesday morning was a blur, I had two free periods, which had been allocated to me as 'catch up time' for the lessons I hadn't done between my move back. I again, sat with Dan and his friends, mainly conversing with him, Ethan and Jamie.
"Dan, did you see that goal on Sunday?!" Ethan exclaimed.
"Which one?" Dan replied, struggling to keep interested.
"You know, Dembele's? The Spurs match!" Ethan persisted.
"Yeah, it was good." Was all Dan replied.
"Ew, Ethan." He frowned at me. "Are you one of them?" He raised his eyebrows. "I mean, scum..."
"Man United?"
"No. Spurs?" I looked him up and down, disgusted.
"You aren't a gooner?!" He asked me, horrified.
"And proud." I winked at him.
"I don't think we can be friends." He shook his head.
"Only because we're better than you." I smirked.
"You're nothing without van Persie."
"We're Arsenal, you're crap." I chuckled lightly to myself. The bell went and Dan and I headed off to my first music lesson, guitars in hand.
"You never fail to surprise me, you know." He spoke as we meandered around the groups of people all hustling in the corridors. "You're a football fan?"
"You know it! Since I can remember, I've been into football." He smiled at me, and pointed to the door, we walked in, and he led me to a seat at the back.
"Ah, Miss Carter, it's wonderful to be graced with your presence." An old, balding man boomed across the classroom. "Would anyone care to divulge our current project to our newest member. A few hands rose, "Ah, Mr Peters."
"Um, we're composing and performing our own piece of music. We can work on our own, or in pairs, or in groups."
"Correct. This particular assignment is based on emotions. Why? I hear you say. well, emotions are the basis of our existence. You are to create a piece of music, using what every good songwriter uses. Their heart. Their emotions. Here, have this booklet to start you off, and enjoy your time." He smiled at me, and nodded for us to start.
I flicked open the booklet and read.
'How do you feel right now?
Happy?
Sad?
In Love?
These emotions are what you must base your composition on.
Before you think about it, I don't want a girly song about how a boy's kiss made your head go into the clouds, or a song about how you "get all of the girls."'
I didn't know where to start. I licked my lips and turned the page hoping for more pointers. Nope. None. All it stated was that I had six weeks left to write a song - lyrics and accompaniment - when I didn't even know what it was about. I brushed my fingers through my hair and sighed heavily; music had always been my safety zone. It was a way of channelling my emotions, without it, I may implode.
My eyes scanned the room as I watched people write there target for the lesson, my guess, 'add finishing touches' or 'rehearse.' I then glanced down at my black page. Next to target, I wrote, 'get an idea' then closed the booklet and took out a notebook.
"Ash, you wanna sit in the practice room with me?" I looked up to see Dan beaming down at me.
"Yes. Then you can show me what you've got and inspire me." I rose, picking up my book and guitar case. He led me down a hall and into a small square room. On the walls were pictures of different bands and artists - The Smiths, Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix, The All American Rejects."I like this room." I gasped.
"Yeah, me too." He smiled at me. "I decorated it."
"You listen to good music." I nodded and sat on an empty chair next to a small wooden piano. He dropped into a chair across from me. "I have no idea what I'm doing." I groaned.
"Not a writer?" He quizzed.
"It's not that. I write my own songs and stuff, but, I don't know what I want to write." I paused. "No. Scrap that. I don't know what he wants me to write about." I frowned deeply.
"What do you feel right now?" He asked.
"Confused?"
He laughed lightly. "No, I mean, what do you feel? Deep down."
I looked him straight in the eye, "I don't want to write about that."
A puzzled look crossed his face. "Is there something wrong Ashleigh?"
"No, I just..." I brushed my fingers through my hair.
"What are you worrying about?"
"What makes you think I'm worried?" My eyebrows knitted together tightly.
"You do that thing with your hair. You always did." He gave me a small smile. "You don't have to tell me. I just want you to know that you can."
"Deep down Daniel, I feel, empty." I sighed and closed my eyes. "Ah shit, that sounded so depressing. Oh god! Why did I just say that?!" I rolled my eyes and slapped my face.
"Ash, everyone gets like that sometimes. Don't worry. You can tell me anything. We were best friends once." He smiled softly and placed his hand on my arm. As it always was, his smile was infectious, I felt my lips turn upwards and spread into a smile.
"Yeah, we were." I stated.
"I'd like to be again?" He asked.
"So would I Danny." I smiled and he opened his arms to me. I folded into them perfectly.
After a minute or so, I sat back on my chair and unzipped my guitar case, retrieving my Electro-Acoustic guitar and a pen. "Best get started 'ay?" I flicked pen my note book to a fresh page, wrote, 'Music' in a circle in a centre. I drew a line and wrote 'Emotions' in a bubble above. I jotted down, emotions such as, happy, sad, love and anger. "That just about covers my ideas." I rolled my eyes in disgust at my obvious lack of ideas and progress. I was basically screwed.
"I'm sure you'll do fine." Dan spoke as he twiddled the pegs tuning his guitar.
"I hope so." I doubtfully grumbled. "How far are you?"
"Finishing touches." He smiled, relieved.
"Seriously?!" I gasped. "I've not started, and you've finished?!"
"We've had longer than you. We all started out the same way you did. Don't you worry." He strummed a few chords and clicked his fingers. "You wanna hear it?"
I smiled, "Yeah, I do." He slowly strummed a basic chord pattern, and then it morphed into a more intricate set. Then he began singing. His voice drifted around the room, in a calming storm. I felt every note. The soft hum of the chords he was playing in the background was steady as he murmured line after beautiful line. He finished - too quickly. I sat there, eyes wide.
"Was it any good?" He asked, unaware of his talent.
"Good?!" I exclaimed. "Danny, that was... Beautiful."
He laughed quietly, "You think?"
"Yeah! What's it about?"
"Nothing really. Just missing someone." His gaze lowered. My guess was the song was about his Dad. When Dan was seven, his father passed away. I always remember Mr Peters looking frail, and fragile. My mother got the news, and told me. He'd had cancer.
"It's alright, we don't have to talk about it." I smiled softly at him.
"Thank you." Was all he said. "Get to work Carter. You need to start writing. I nodded and set to work for the remainder of the double lesson we had.
By the end, Dan had helped me brainstorm ideas - not really ideas as much as pathways. For the most part though, I spent my time listening to the tweaks he was making to his piece, making it even more captivating. I never remembered him being able to sing, he always sounded like dying cats; now though, he has demolished that little boy who would screech hymns at me in assembly on a Thursday afternoon. He was a whole new person.
Unlike me. I was already on the road to failing. I went from having no ideas, to a thousand ideas floating around my brain. At the end of the lesson, Dan and I packed up our guitars, and departed for lunch. "So, how'd you like music so far?" He beamed down at me.
"I hate it." I groaned. "I can't do it. It's too hard."
"You sound like a four year old." He winked.
"Maybe I am a four year old." I stuck my tongue out at him and he nudged me.
"The moment you get your main idea, I bet you'll love it."
"I hope so. Else I'm screwed." He laughed and led me through the corridors.
The rest of the day was like any other. I went to lessons and played catch-up. At the end of the day, I hopped into the passenger seat of Dan's car. After three minutes, we still hadn't moved. "Dan, you know, to get home, you have to... Drive..." I said slowly.
"Hello to you too." He said. "We're just waiting for Ethan and Jamie."
"Oh, right. That's why we aren't moving." I replied. "They going to yours?"
"Nah, we're going out."
"Where you going?" I asked trying to keep the conversation afloat.
"Football." He replied. "Ethan's gonna shift you right out of your chair."
"He'll have to carry me." I folded my arms across my chest.
"You can bet he will." Dan chuckled. Jamie opened the backdoor and shuffled into his seat.
"Ashleigh, you sure you want to sit there?" He asked slowly. "Ethan will go ballistic."
"He'll just have to deal." I winked.
I looked out of the window and was greeted by an angry Ethan. "Dude! What is she doing in my seat?!" He frowned.
"I warned her." Dan smirked.
"I called shotgun." I retorted light heartedly.
"Nu-uh missy. Doesn't work like that." Ethan opened the door to my side of the car, and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Pick me up and you are a dead man." I warned him. He slowly pulled me up and maneuvered me out of the car. "Put e down! Put me down! Put me down!" I shouted at him thrashing my legs.
"Not until you apologise for sitting in my seat." He laughed.
"Fine! I'm sorry I sat in your seat." A small crowd of people were watching as I was being manhandled by Ethan. He set me down and ruffled my hair.
"Good girl. Don't let me catch you doing it again." He took his place in the front as I slide in the car next to Jamie, trying to salvage the crows nest on top of my head.
Dan started the car and backed out on to the motorway. A few minutes passed and he and Dan were in a deep conversation about some girl Ethan 'hooked up' with. "I tried to warn you..." Jamie laughed quietly.
"You could've told me he'd grapple me." I met his eyes. They were clear and crisp, yet deep and dark.
"I didn't know that would happen." He smiled, producing straight white teeth. Jamie looked like a teenage heart throb.
"I'll listen to your advice next time." He laughed then turned his head to look out of the window.
After a little while longer, we pulled up outside my house. "Thanks for the lift!" I chirped as I opened the door.
"Anytime!" Dan called.
"Oh, hey, Ash, here's my number. In case you want a wrestling rematch." Ethan extended his arm out of the window and handed me a slip of paper.
"Haha, don't count on it." I accepted the piece of paper with a small smile.
"Jamie, give the girl your number. We're all friends now." Ethan looked to Jamie who took out a notebook and started jotting down his number. "Even if she is a gooner." He added in disgust.
"You love it." I winked.
Ethan reached out and handed me his number as well. "Unlike you Ethan, I don't demand girls attention. But yeah, there's my number. You can text me later if you want?" Ethan shot Jamie a dirty look.
"Sure." I smiled, "See you guys tomorrow!" I waved at them as they drove off into the distance. I walked up my drive and unlocked the door.
I dropped my bag in the lounge and trotted into the kitchen pulling out a can of Dr Pepper. I added both Ethan and Jamie's numbers into my phone and text them to give them mine. I put the phone into my pocket and grabbed my guitar running up to my room.
Staring down at my notebook I strummed a few chords. I looked closely at emotions. I used a red marker and circled the words 'loneliness' and 'torn.' My topic for this piece: My Parents Divorce. I jotted down a few lines, and came up with a name; Cracks. An hour later, I had a small chord progression for the verses. Progress enough. I set my guitar on my bed and skipped down the stairs, pleased with my work. I stepped into the kitchen and poured some soup into a pan and heated it up. I glanced at my phone - Three New Messages.
Pouring the soup into a bowl, smelling the aroma of oregano, basil and tomato, I buttered a slice of bread and set my dinner down and grabbed a spoon. I unlocked my phone and opened my first message and replied;
Ethan: Hey Ash, you wanna hang with me Saturday?
Me: Yeah, sure! What do you have in mind?
I viewed my next message;
Jamie: I'll save your number:-) Oh, do you want to do something with me and dan Thursday after football? x
Me: Yeah, I'd love too!x
Then I checked the third;
Abi: Meet me at the bus stop tomorrow after school sweetie, it's just me and you now sweetie!xxx
Me: Sure thing!x x x
Awaiting replies, I placed my phone on the table next to me, I contemplated my future plans; in truth, I'd never really had male attention. So two offers in one night was good going for me - I much preferred the idea of seeing Dan and Jamie to seeing Ethan on his own, it was too date-like, and I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted. Or perhaps I was over thinking it? My phone buzzed;
Ethan: You decide, I'm not picky :)
Me: Oh, I don't know!
Ethan: Not very helpful are you ;)
Me: You invited me, so you must have something in mind?
Ethan: You could come and hang at mine?
Me: Sure! I'll get there for two?
Ethan: Sounds cool :)
I placed my phone down and carried on with my soup. I finished quickly and headed to the dishwasher to clean my bowl. I picked up my phone and jogged upstairs. I tidied away my guitar and at at my desk cracking open my Maths book. I spent a few hours studying, until I heard my Dad come home at around nine.
"Dad?! Are you home?" I shouted down the stairs.
"Yeah, you had a good day?" He shouted back. I rose from my work to meet him downstairs.
"Yeah," I huffed as I came into the living room. "Did you?"
"Yeah, tiresome though." He frowned deepening the lines across his forehead.
"Would it be alright if I went out a couple times this week?" I asked. I wasn't going to make the same mistake I made Sunday...
"When, where and who with?"
"The city tomorrow with Abi, somewhere with Jamie and Dan Thursday, and to Ethan's Saturday?" I replied.
"Yeah, I guess so. I'm working anyway." He yawned. "I'm going to get some sleep, see you tomorrow." He kissed my cheek and padded up the steps. I thought, when I came, he'd be bothered. That expectation was met for the first few days; now however, it is as if I am simply here to clean and cook. I turned the lights off, and locked the front door, heading up the stairs to fall into a slumber.